Hell Yeah I Like Potatoes

🌸I also run Tifamasina & Punkgoddess🌸

[onceiwashere]

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

[onceiwashere]

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i

[hungwy]

[mermen]

add another clove of garlic im not driving

[butchspace]

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

[dontbeanassbutt]

take off your glasses if you wear them for 20 seconds

[bluelakeandsky]

Recommended by my optometrist

Look at something 20 feet away, then 10, then 5, then one, then if you can your nose.

Repeat twice, then again without glasses.

Face forward look out of the corner of your eye. As far as you can look. Slowly move to the other corner. Repeat twice.

Look down as far as you can. Slowly look up. Repeat twice.

Roll eyes twice.

Close eyes for five minutes.

I do this every day usually at my halfway point. My migraines went away. My vision go better. Honestly stretching my eyes as she put it feels great too.

[ot3]

pulled over to give a homeless guy some cash on the side of the road today and he pointed to my bigfoot air freshener and asked if i believed in ‘that guy’ and no, i don’t, i have the air freshener because my last car before this one (the pt cruiser) belonged to a woman named tracy who loved bigfoot and had a whole collection of bigfoot stuff including the air freshener and she died of cancer which is why her husband was selling me her car and i figured, hey, might as well keep the air freshener in her honor. and then when i had to junk the last car i couldnt bring myself to get rid of it. so now it’s just hanging off my rear view mirror again. which is probably a worse reason to have an air freshener than believing in bigfoot.

[ot3]

This is the meanest shit you’ve ever said to me Bob

[krit-kat]

[synth-mage]

Best use of marketing at my school

[tropiyas]

[robustmyaft]

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

[okay]

DO YOU EVER JUST WANNA SCREAM SO LOUD WHEN YOU TRY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE

[weaver-z]

I'm Mr. Meth Miser... I'm Mr. White... I'm Mr. Blue Crystals... I'm Mr. Drug Delights

[richardjager-deactivated2023010]

They call me Heisenberg — whatever I touch — starts to cook in my clutch — I’m too much

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

I'm Mr Los Pollos... I'll sell your load... I'm Mr Hermanos... I'm Mr Face Explode... Friends call me Gus Meiser... Whatever I touch... Starts to sell by the bunch... I'm too sus

[plumslices]

Tshirt that says my bush did 9/11

[fandomlife-confessions]

[weirdgirlvampire]

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

[lagtim3]

@fandomlife-confessions 

Fact! Uteruses come prepackaged with half a lifetime’s supply of eggs. Balls produce sperm on-demand. This means there would have been about a two-month period where Jacob found himself inexplicably VERY gay for Edward.

[evilbeepthemeep]

wait I thought Stephanie Meyers made it canon that Edward can’t produce new sperm and the warm water of the ocean warmed up his sac enough for him to impregnate Bella. So in all Jacob should’ve been gay for Edward all along

[eroticcannibal]

The warm water of the ocean did what now

[i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky]

That song could be about anyone. When I wrote it, it did come from the heart. Perhaps a broken one.

[darkverrmin]

happy new year's darlings

[izzy-hands]

The Witcher + tumblr banned words

[chairman-rose-is-king]

Good job I only have breakdowns near blisseys

[zangoonse]

me: *sobbing and crying*

the blissey that charged in from 5 miles away and broke into my house:

[michaelgovehateblog]

I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year

[primarybufferpanel]

May we live in very uninteresting times

[broken-academia]

may you experience very precedented events

[untitled70655]

Rest In Peace, Betty White (January 17, 1922 - December 31st, 2021).

Thank you for the laughs.