[smritiiiiii]

What if there is a place where you can feel the way you want to feel and be the person you want to be?

[madhuuraaa]

//Let's hold hands and walk in the rain//

I was waiting at the park bench, looking over at the horizon; the sun beginning to set for the day, but there was still no sign of you. I started to wonder, maybe you're busy somewhere and I chose the wrong day to meet. But, it has been more than a month since we met; more than a month since I sat with my head on your shoulder, your fingers drawing circles on my thighs. Is this what happens in long-distance relationships? Is it always going to be months before I see your face out of that virtual square? I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't hear you come, even though the park was half empty till now; everyone went back to their homes and families; and here we were, coming home after a month.

You sat down next to me, and gently took my hand in yours, and I was home finally. All those months of separation didn't make us strangers; instead, they just brought us closer. For half an hour we spoke nothing; you kept staring at me, and I kept looking at our intertwined fingers. But it was getting late, and we didn't have time, even the sun was setting. And that's when you spoke,'Are you looking at the sky right now? These stars and the moon, they were always the same for the past 30 days, but you weren't there with me. We were sharing the same sky, but now we are sharing the same space.' You always loved the night sky, the stars and the moon and the peace calming the chaos in your heart.

In response, I just snuggled closer to you. I was never great with words, and you are always full of them for me. It was calming to just sit in silence and listen to your heart beating; I felt safe and at home. We sat there for hours, till the guard came to close the park. As we got back inside the city, the world came back to us; with its noises and chaos, but you were still holding onto my hand; as if I was your tether to peace.

It started pouring; but instead of running for shelter, you stood there getting wet, marvelling at the rain drops. 'I promised you a walk in the rain.' you reminded me. It was a long time ago, but you remembered; you always tend to remember everything about me. 'You are like the first drop of rain, soothing my skin from the scorching summer', and I spoke for the first time since we met an hour ago.

[madhuuraaa]

//You're at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart//

You met me at the edge of the world, and asked me not to jump,

That wasn't unusual though, many had asked similar of me.

I feigned ignorance, as if your voice didn't reach me.

I thought of jumping again, But you took my hand, and pulled me inside, out from the grasp of the deep chasm that lay beneath,

You shook me hard, and I felt the pain fall away, like droplets of infected blood, leaving my body.

Your voice wasn't far away anymore, it whispered at the edges of my soul.

My hand didn't feel cold anymore; your fingers were warm, laced with mine.

You sat with me, just near the edge, but far enough not to jump.

I wept and wept, my sobs echoing throughout the emptiness below.

The birds ran away, afraid of me

The seasons changed, and I kept weeping; mourning the loss of innocence and love

But you sat there, through it all, holding me close to your heart, warming my dead soul.

[smritiiiiii]

I hated summers. The scorching heat, lonely roads, and dried lakes were not a pleasant sight to me. The warm air and the withered flowers instilled gloom in my heart.

But then, he called me summer, like a sweet song he told me he loved the crimson sky of the summer evenings, said it's reflection glistened on my face making it look a canvas of that Van Gogh's painting they talk about. He talked to me in the language of stars, told me about the constellations while we were under the clear night sky.

He said, i smelled like the fresh morning air, touching the skin so softly that all he felt was love.

One day, he bought me flowers, we sat by the lake staring at the evening sky, I told him I loved sunflowers, he wrote me a poem, we talked about seasons...and it was the crimson sky again.

Autumn has our story of love, but summers...they make us complete.

[smritiiiiii]

The sky was shedding it's sweet amber colour, and was turning into a pallet of pink and red. The weather spoke of poetries and the field reminded of the garden of Eden. Just when I was embracing the serenity, I felt a soft touch on my hand, "You remind me of the evening sky". I flustered. "Why?" I wanted to ask. But the words did not come out of my mouth. His hand was now embracing mine. "....I am no poet" he continued, "but," there was a pause, and in the meantime, it felt like spring...., or autumn, I couldn't decide, for I could see the flowers blooming around me and the trees turning into the shades of oranges and red, at the same time. "But?" I asked in a voice so slow that maybe it did not reach his ear. He slowly started running his fingers through my hair. "You are mist of the winter morning,A ray of sunshine, woven in the poem of love,And all the metaphors they say for the moon and the sky." He stopped. We looked at each other, and it was the start of the eternal night.

[madhuuraaa]

//A boy wrapped in darkness//

We shall meet in a place

where there is no darkness

for darkness is deceiving,

and it makes monsters of humans.

There was a boy I knew,

who loved darkness so dearly

like his long lost friend.

He let the darkness consume him, eat him whole.

He thought it made a monster of him, the darkness.

But less did he know, the darkness was never the monster

but a victim,

of it's own loneliness,

abandoned by the light.

That boy, he too, was abandoned by the light

left alone to feed on his own thoughts

banished by the world,

for he wasn't like them, he wasn't made of paper.

But of magic, and stardust

of dreams, and desires

He was made of a heart that beat, a soul that felt.

He was too real for this paper world,

and so he suffered; an endless agony.

It seemed never to end, this perpetual pain.

But end it did.

For this time, his light didn't abandon him.

This time, the light wasn't afraid of his darknes.

Rather, it embraced the darkness, and the boy within.

It saw him for the victim he was,

and not the monster he thought himself to be.

[smritiiiiii]

So heartfelt! xoxo

[smritiiiiii]

Has it ever happened that your loved ones hurt you in a way that there's nothing you want to say but stay silent and keep the things as they were before except now, you don't have any expectation?

[smritiiiiii]

What do you do when are all tired? Tired of life and people, tired of yourself and the way things are. What do you do when you feel defeated? What do you do when you don't know which path to choose? What do you do when you don't know what is right and what is wrong? What do you do when you don't have words to speak and explain how things are? What do you do?

Do you fight and figure out what's going on or just move on keeping the things the way they are?

[smritiiiiii]

I was sitting by the window,

Looking at the sky covered with clouds,

All dark and dismal.

The tress, sad they seemed,

The birds, were going back to their home.

After a while, the clouds started growling

Louder and lounder,

But it didn't scare me ,for I have thoughts in my mind louder than that.

It started pouring, so heavily that no life was no longer found around,

But it didn't scare me, for I have my eyes pouring heavily than that.

The sky covered with clouds,

All dark and dismal,

They didn't scare me too

For so has been my days.

Staring at the drops falling on my window glass,

I fell asleep,

It was a deep sleep.

After a while,

When I opened my eyes

It was a sweet cherry fragrance all around.

The birds chirping and singing their beautiful song,

The trees seemed lively and the flowers as bright as ever,

The sky no longer looked sad, it was crying happiness for the darkness has passed.

I still sat there staring the sky,

For it made me believe,

The heaviest rains bring the clearest skies.

And my heart, it believes that things will be beautiful again,

If not today, I will have daisies in my field again.

[afronerdism]

For the the first time in millions of black children’s lives, they got to see themselves as both warrior and king. Your contribution to the culture was invaluable. You truly were the hero of an entire generation. Wakanda forever and ever and ever king. Rest easy.

[smritiiiiii]

Just when I think, it's all fine and alright, 2020 hits again! 2020 is a curse. R.I.P Chadwick Boseman, you will always be a hero and one of the classiest and most loved Avenger.

[smritiiiiii]

7:15 pm

I have always walked on busy roads,

Surrounded by people and belongings.

But yesterday I took a pause,

Stood where I was

Looking around the people I love and adore.

I've always walked on busy roads,

Walking with them on every step

I realised.

But when I stopped,

No one stopped for me, not even for a while.

[smritiiiiii]

8:53 am

Been stuck in this body, I no longer call mine. My mind, it is filled with thoughts that are not my own,

Filled with all the hurt I have got.

I have given so much of myself to them

I think it's too late now, to find my own self.

[emotionalwords]

[smritiiiiii]

They are crying in the corner of my heart.

Weeping and struggling,

Trying to mend their scars.

Crippling my soul, they are demanding for the stars.

Caged and enslaved,

They want to fly, leaving behind the dark.

Crushed and shattered,

Now, they want to be heard

My words,

They are dying every hour.

Picture Source: Pinterest | Luna Lifted

[smritiiiiii]

I've been carrying it all,

The weight of the broken hearts,

Trying to mend them or tell them the sky still shines with stars.

The pain of friends left apart,

With those bruises and scars.

The misery of the denied love from parents,

Or sometimes, the child who refused to accept the good of the summer flowers.

The sobs of midnight, the pain hidden behind those laughs.

The strongest getting on their knees, the ignorant pretending to be wise.

Lover searching for his lost love, and the one struggling to mend it with another's piece of heart.

The loneliness of the starry night, the emptiness you feel in a room filled with beings,

Trying to figure out "who we are?"

Finding an escape, but from what?

I've seen the demons they fight,

Some say it through words, some through their smiles.

-Smriti

[smritiiiiii]

Your writing is raw and beautiful. I feel much of what you've written. Here's a huge hug for you.

Thank you so so much. ❤️ It really means a lot to me! Lots of love to you💕