me every time i have the slightest money issue: if i killed myself, this wouldnt happen
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@smuglyquiet-blog
me every time i have the slightest money issue: if i killed myself, this wouldnt happen
paniicstations replied to your post: im having a meltdown what the fuck!!! this might...
There genuinely has to be some sort of law against that like if they’re going to be useless and not pay you what’s the fucking point of working there you’re literally not there for free labour you’re trying to fucking live!!!
i was last paid on the 22nd and hey guess what im supposed to be paid monthly!!! so where the fuck is it!! i was promised i would be payed on friday and hey guess what its 1:10 am friday morning!!! so why!! have i not!! been payed!!! they havent even emailed me my payslip and thats supposed to come a few hours before the money is put into my bank so hey
what the fuck
im having a meltdown what the fuck!!! this might seem minor but it genuinely isnt when you have under £10 to survive and you dont know when the hell you’re gonna be paid
i am too poor to not be paid for two weeks overdue
when im famous my dad is gna live in PURE LUXURY you fucking watch me
im genuinely so angry can you believe there are people in the world like ‘oh yeah lol we’re just impulsively gonna go to a restaurant’ or whatever like holy shit that must be nice!!! ive been eating microwave noodles and bread for two weeks!!!
i just wish that i had enough money to make syre we fucking ate it’s so unfair my dad NEVER gets to eat anything good!!! we’re always on cheap junk and he always lets me have most of it and its so fucking awful why the hell cant i just have enough money to SUSTAIN us why cant i just fucking be paid!!!
my dad hasnt eaten at all today!! i havent eaten a full meal in two fucking weeks!!! we’re lucky we live w my grandad or things would be so much worse!! i cant fucking afford this im so sad and angry
anyways i HAVE to sleep now before i become TRULY stupid
i hate this I want myself to shut up more than anything but my god can I just!! feel secure for once this isn't fair to anyone least of all my friends
i felt bad posting this on my personal / main but lmao am i really that hard to care abt??? if I'm the problem please tell me what the hell im doing wrong so this can stop happening to me!! i hate feeling like I'm some last resort because it KILLS me!!! what is it about me that makes me so easy to discard please just let me know
after last night’s discussion, rich hadn’t slept at all. he’d lay awake, feeling every inch of his scarred skin tighten, an uncomfortable reminder of the incident. when his innocence comes under question, he finds it hard to think about anything else: that’s why he calls alice. she’s awake at six a.m every day regardless, and she’s always willing to help him out of a slump.
he’s catching her up on the information shared between the group when it happens. mike’s given website ( ‘please, rich,’ she’d told him, looking a little upset, ‘give him a chance. he’s not that bad.’ ) open in one tab, over fifteen news articles over in another, they work in silence. rich’s shorthand contrasts wildly with alice’s pristine notes, and yet they both seem to be detailing the same information: people had gone missing, been traumatised enough to believe they had died and been to hell.
“what are you thinking of the unrelated ones?” alice asks him, tapping her pen against her bottom lip and smearing her lipstick onto the plastic, “the one with the mother, and the one with the stalker?”
rich huffs, looking over her notes with a creased brow. when he’s antsy, his adhd plays up worse than usual, sends words spiralling around in his mind until they’re nothing but mush. “i think it’s crazy that people looking for someone missing fuckin’ lose it. you know? like with the dude with the phone. ‘s twisted.”
while they’re distracted, music starts to play from alice’s laptop. irritated by the sudden noise, rich turns to close the window, assuming an ad had started to play on one of the news websites they were browsing. what he’s met with is much more confusing.
“is that… e.minem?” alice asks, and the question is so ridiculous that rich has to fight back laughter, bite his cheek harsly to avoid hysterics.
“god rest his soul,” rich says, solemnly, and alice hits him on the shoulder in reprimand. “what? the dude died, like, a year ago! let me pay my respects!”
that starts alice laughing, and she sets rich off, and they’re howling with giggles, leaning weakly on each other. “what the fuck, alice?” rich tries to ask, but he’s almost incoherent. “what the hell?”
“i do not know!” she protests, unable to lift her head from his shaking shoulder. “it has never done that before! i – why e.minem?”
rich can’t help himself, knuckling his eyes in a desperate attempt to stop whatever hallucination this must be. “it’s e.minem’s ghost, tryna help us find belle. point us in the right direction, marshall.”
“stop it!” alice leans over to close the tab, silencing the song. “keep reading. we can talk about the late e.minem later.”
‘i left my friend, i changed my life to be with you -- to be loved by such handsome men.’
‘do you regret?’
‘i’d do it again. i didn’t want him to leave, but i’d do it again and again and again.’
(in peace, listening to my brandon playlist)
the playlist: w/hizzer g/oing d/own
me: can never feel peace again
*clears my throat* it’s all such an endeavour. searching, then back. check the mall, no hope. ‘what if they’re not coming back?’ i roll my eyes and bark ‘they will. it’s gonna happen.’
(quieter) i see ‘missing’ badges and my soul detaches, ‘cause i can’t feel a thing anymore. i can’t feel a thing anymore. don’t feel the same way i did before. everything’s a horrible bore, and living is a terrible chore - you know that it’s true. there’s nothing new to find in brooklyn anymore.
(so quiet u can barely hear me) i sweat a little bit, but i’m still numb. it was kinda whatever, but it was mostly dumb. i walk around the house wondering what it all means. i think that kid’s lucky he’s behind a screen.
*clears my throat* it’s all such an endeavour. searching, then back. check the mall, no hope. ‘what if they’re not coming back?’ i roll my eyes and bark ‘they will. it’s gonna happen.’
(quieter) i see ‘missing’ badges and my soul detaches, ‘cause i can’t feel a thing anymore. i can’t feel a thing anymore. don’t feel the same way i did before. everything’s a horrible bore, and living is a terrible chore - you know that it’s true. there’s nothing new to find in brooklyn anymore.
*clears my throat* it’s all such an endeavour. searching, then back. check the mall, no hope. ‘what if they’re not coming back?’ i roll my eyes and bark ‘they will. it’s gonna happen.’