Smutandman

I´m just a "normal GIRL" (...) from Italy. I like Anime, Mangas particulary BL ^-^

[danmeibrainrot]

⚠️ Saezuru Chapter 66 spoilers ⚠️ (😭🥺😭♥️)

The opening pages are the conversation between Amou and Tsunakawa that was previewed officially.

Tsunakawa reminds Amou:

"You said that guy has nowhere to go back to, right?"

Amou apologizes.

Tsunakawa responds sarcastically:

 "Funny. Even the guy himself isn't apologizing."

Amou says he had hoped that during the past four years Doumeki would learn things like obligation and gratitude.

Tsunakawa replies:

 "Maybe he'll understand from here on."

Then Tsunakawa says:

 "Not that I'm bragging, but I've never devoted myself to another person. I can't understand it, and I don't want to."

Amou answers:

 "That probably has something to do with your upbringing."

Tsunakawa:

"But you understand it, don't you? That's why you brought him here."

A flashback panel shows a young Amou looking slightly embarrassed while Misumi rests a hand on his head.

Amou reveals that bringing Doumeki to Tsunakawa was a personal favor he asked of him, and Tsunakawa only accepted it because they were old acquaintances.

As Amou leaves, he tells Tsunakawa:

 "You can count it as a debt I owe you."

But once in the car he thinks:

 "He's absolutely going to make me pay him back later."

Then they arrive at their destination.

---

Yashiro and Nanahara

Back at the office.

Yashiro returns visibly irritated.

Nanahara approaches him.

While covering part of his face with one hand, Yashiro complains that they still haven't found Kai's hideout.

Nanahara asks:

"Were you maybe going to see Doumeki?"

Yashiro immediately shoots him a sharp look, throws an ashtray at his head, and snaps:

"Don't stick your nose into this."

Nanahara pushes back.

He says:

Ever since Doumeki appeared, Yashiro has been acting strange.

Maybe Doumeki said something to him.

He's not stupid; he can put things together.

He was the last person who spoke to Doumeki four years ago.

Then Nanahara reveals:

"Back then, he said that if he wasn't in this world anymore, he'd no longer have any connection to you."

At first Nanahara thought Doumeki had simply changed after joining the Sakura family.

But now he realizes:

"That wasn't it. It was because of that, wasn't it?"

Yashiro tries to brush it off:

"Who knows? It has nothing to do with me."

Nanahara continues:

"Then why are you so miserable?"

Yashiro:

"I'm just tired. What, are you trying to tell me what to do now?"

Nanahara says he isn't.

He only thinks that maybe Doumeki no longer has anywhere he belongs.

Maybe someone should help him.

Yashiro cuts him off:

"Nobody can help him."

Then Yashiro says:

"Ignoring Tsunakawa's pride, pretending I forgot him, throwing him away just so he could stay in the same world as me... how is that any different from obsession?"

At that moment,

Amou appears.

---

Amou and Yashiro

The two talk at a café.

The dialogue isn't shown, but Amou apparently explains how Doumeki came to be under Tsunakawa's care.

Yashiro says he understands now, though he's genuinely surprised.

Then he asks Amou:

"Why did you go so far as to help Doumeki behind Misumi's back?"

Amou begins talking about his relationship with Misumi.

He explains:

Misumi married Amou's mother.

They were never legally adopted.

Misumi offered to pay his living expenses and tuition, but Amou refused and graduated university through his own efforts.

It was at university that he met Tsunakawa.

Amou says he always admired Misumi.

Even though he understood why Misumi never adopted him, he still wanted to become family.

He wanted to exist in the same world as him.

So instead of becoming a yakuza, he became Misumi's secretary. (After Misumi finally gave in.)

Amou says:

"I wanted to be someone like a son to him... the way you are."

Yashiro immediately replies:

"People don't sleep with their sons."

Then Amou asks the crucial question:

"Four years ago, when you abandoned Doumeki... was it for his sake? Or for your own?"

Yashiro freezes in shock.

Seeing his reaction, Amou stands up and leaves.

Beside Yashiro's seat, rain has begun to strike the window.

---

Yashiro gets a phone call.

Someone asks:

"Where are you right now?"

Heavy rain is falling.

Yashiro walks through it without an umbrella.

A car suddenly stops beside him.

Then, 

"Don't move. Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

It's Kamiya.

Kamiya says:

"I don't understand what's so great about you."

"That stubborn bastard is completely wrapped around your finger. Either you're incredible in bed, or you're unbelievably compatible."

"Either way, only a weirdo would go this far."

Yashiro keeps walking.

Kamiya continues:

"You must really be worth enough to throw a man's whole life into chaos."

Still no reaction.

Finally Kamiya clicks his tongue.

"Say something, damn it. You're disgusting."

Then he throws a hotel key at Yashiro's back.

Yashiro stops and glances over his shoulder.

Kamiya says:

"'His reason for living'... that's what you are."

"Aren't you embarrassed?"

Then:

"The night after tomorrow, Kai gets killed. After serving prison time for it, he'll be expelled from the organization."

"If he only comes to his senses when he's an old man, he'll be completely screwed."

Then Kamiya drives away.

Yashiro stands there.

The hotel key lies on the wet ground.

He closes his eyes and looks up at the rainy sky.

---

The Hotel

The scene shifts.

Doumeki is in the hotel room handling his gun.

The doorbell rings.

He opens the door.

Standing there is Yashiro, soaked by the rain.

Doumeki is stunned.

Without saying a word, Yashiro places a hand against his face and leans in himself.

Then... 

He kisses him (❗❗❗❗❗) 

Doumeki's eyes remain open in shock.

Yashiro closes his eyes and kisses him desperately, completely absorbed in it.

They move inside the room.

Their lips part once.

They stare at each other.

Then, 

Doumeki firmly wraps his arms around Yashiro.

Yashiro loops both arms around Doumeki's neck.

And they kiss again.

--------------------------------------

The SCREAM I let out OMFG I'M SHAKING I need time to gather my thoughts but I'M SO HAPPY 😭😭😭♥️♥️♥️♥️🎉🎉

[lanzhanlanzhan]

Wei Wuxian - On Loving Lan Wangji

(Or 'I was supposed to be writing fanfiction but my character notes got ahead of me and now I have another meta')

One of the most charming things about CQL!Wei Wuxian is this: up to the end, I don't think he has realized that he is in love with Lan Wangji.

I mean, we know. The world around them knows. Heck, I think even Lan Wangji knows, because bless this boy, I think he resolved his own 'I am in love with Wei Wuxian' arc even before the show's half-way point.

Wei Wuxian, though? I don't think so. Funny enough, in CQL-verse, there were already hints of something promising between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji even before Wei Wuxian's death, unlike in the novel where Wei Wuxian was completely in the dark and only developed feelings for Lan Wangji in his second life. CQL-verse though gave them that foundation of them being two people who were drawn to one another from the start, who became friends and even established a bond so close they can consider thenselves as soulmates. Again, all these before Wei Wuxian even died.

I would like to once again send my heartfelt gratitude to Xiao Zhan for all those interviews that gave us a glimpse of his headspace as Wei Wuxian. In a few of these interviews, Xiao Zhan mentioned how part of Wei Wuxian's next life involved having to resolve things in the last one, and this actually included his learning to trust Lan Wangji again. 

In his old life, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had to struggle with a beautiful relationship on the verge of collapse, brought by Wei Wuxian's seeming refusal to let go of his ghost cultivation path, and Lan Wangji's conviction that Wei Wuxian had to return to sword cultivation because any other path would harm him. The tragedy of it all was that they were both in the right—Wei Wuxian required an alternative path to fight for what he believed was right despite having lost his golden core, and Lan Wangji (who did not yet know about Wei Wuxian's core) was also correct in that ghost cultivation was affecting Wei Wuxian's psyche. All these came to a head at Nightless City, with Wei Wuxian, heartbroken over having lost the people he fought so hard for, went against the whole cultivation world. In that state, he also saw that Lan Wangji was still against him, tried to stop him, even though Lan Wangji himself was still conflicted though his heart was still with Wei Wuxian in the end. 

Now, this time it would be Wei Wuxian's character song that makes things interesting. His character song seems to be set while he was in that space between his two lives, looking back at a life that strayed so far away from where his good intentions would have wanted it to go. He recounts his life, but interestingly and heartbreakingly, when we reach the chorus, although the words are actually never the same, the lines are nonetheless about the same single thing:

Chorus 1:

I have tried to take a jar of liquor with a smile

And once fought with the most beautiful person in Gusu

Chorus 2 (here, the lines dedicated to the subject are even longer):

I was once stunned by someone

And teased the cloud patterns with my fingertips

The sudden vibrations of a zither

I wonder why I am remembering these deep in my dream

Chorus 3:

I also once had someone in the mortal world

To love and to long for

The chorus always starts talking about Lan Wangji—and yet, it doesn't really sound like Wei Wuxian fully realizes how much this person means to him. He looks at it from a distance, perhaps because it was a life that was already over and he was regretful about how things had ended. The feelings are bittersweet—and just wow, those lines where Wei Wuxian calls Lan Wangji as "the most beautiful person in Gusu" are just too powerful for my poor, weak heart. Note though that with Wei Wuxian, this could mean either he did think of Lan Wangji as the most beautiful person in Gusu, or he just took it for granted that Lan Wangji was known as the most beautiful person in Gusu. Or it could be a bit of both, with not a lot of overthinking because... ah, Wei Ying, Wei Ying.

Fast forward now to after Wei Wuxian's resurrection. We know he and Lan Wangji were not in a good place because Wei Wuxian hid from him at first. He got anxious when he heard the juniors talking about Hanguang-jun, and actually discouraged them from calling him over. This was the man he once called his soulmate! How bad of a fall-out had theirs been for things to change so drastically. It definitely took some time for Wei Wuxian to feel comfortable around Lan Wangji again. 

Two things, I think, softened Wei Wuxian. First, Lan Wangji's drunken confession in CQL-verse was that he regretted the events leading to Wei Wuxian's death. It made Wei Wuxian realize why Lan Wangji was looking for him in the first place, all this time. He sought to comfort Lan Wangji and explained that he was not to blame. We can see Wei Wuxian was moved by how gently he took care of Lan Wangji that night, drunk as he was. 

Second was Lan Xichen telling Wei Wuxian about the events after his death, what punishments Lan Wangji endured and how he retained his faith and conviction about Wei Wuxian even after all of that. Even the story about their mother was telling; it was a glimpse of how strongly and stubbornly Lan Wangji loves someone, and how deeply that love goes, even if he does not say anything in words. Lan Xichen reminded Wei Wuxian of how adamant and persistent Lan Wangji had been about saving Wei Wuxian in his past life. Wei Wuxian said that it was unnecessary for Lan Wangji to have done these things, to suffer through his loyalty to Wei Wuxian especially when Wei Wuxian was already dead. But somehow it must have proven something to him, too, and gave him a sense of security with Lan Wangji.

After these things, love (or at the very least, trust and attachment) just seemed to develop naturally from there. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are good together especially as "partners-in-crime", so to speak. They are a very effective team, and while this goes to show how naturally compatible they are, the adventures they go through just also strengthen the bond between them. What finally cemented their relationship in this second life, resolving any other doubts Wei Wuxian might have had with Lan Wangji, was that face-off at Lanling, where Lan Wangji had the opportunity to deny Wei Wuxian again in order to retain his respected status in the cultivation world. Lan Wangji refused, announced that he knew it was Wei Wuxian from the start, and told Wei Wuxian that it wasn't so bad, walking in this path of his. 

They were noticeably inseparable from there. What makes my heart sing about this is that this time, Wei Wuxian is more actively sticking to Lan Wangji. He needs no one else other than Lan Wangji, has complete faith in him. Back in Yi City, we saw how confident he was that Lan Wangji would win against Xue Yang, he was not even worried when he took the kids to safety. Then at the Burial Mounds, when he drew the spirit attraction enchantment on himself to drive away the corpses, he refused any other help, saying Lan Wangji was enough to protect him. 

There were many other instances. In Lotus Pier, he was constantly with Lan Wangji, and even presented him to his family. He accepted insults about himself from Jiang Cheng, but not even his guilt towards Jiang Cheng would allow him to let his brother insult Lan Wangji. Even his asking Lan Wangji to take him away from Lotus Pier after the confrontation with Jiang Cheng was telling, because Wei Wuxian used to be self-sufficient and was uncomfortable asking for help. But he was doing so freely with Lan Wangji. 

Even before entering the Guanyin Temple, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had a conversation about Wen Ning—another staple in Wei Wuxian's life—needing to find a life for himself. Interestingly, the thought that Lan Wangji (who was about as attached to him as Wen Ning was) similarly needed a life free from him did not even occur to Wei Wuxian. He would let Wen Ning go, but Lan Wangji stays.

Then, at the Guanyin Temple, when he found out that everyone seemed to know about his losing his golden core, Wei Wuxian checked with Lan Wangji first, asking, "So do you also know?" By this point, Lan Wangji had become a far first in his mind, far from everyone else. Wei Wuxian looks to him first, and before facing anything else that remained against him, he has to check first that things between him and Lan Wangji were okay.

This is also why the last episode is so heartbreaking. After the events at the temple, Wei Wuxian whisks Lan Wangji away and makes a run for it. Escaping did seem to be his intention, too, because when Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui—the most harmless, loyal people to them both—caught up to them, Wei Wuxian looked disappointed that they were caught.

Of course, he then learned that Lan Sizhui was none other than their beloved A-Yuan, and that was a heart-warming reunion all around. Eventually though, Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning said their goodbyes, and Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Wangji, wondering where they would go. He never thought to even ask Lan Wangji where he would go, never thought it would be anywhere Wei Wuxian wouldn't be, because already he learned to be secure that Lan Wangji would never leave his side. In a way, he took it for granted that Lan Wangji would no longer leave him, but to be fair to Wei Wuxian, after everything that had happened and given his own feelings towards Lan Wangji, it was an easy assumption and mistake to make, to have that sense of security towards someone to whom one's heart was so drawn to.  

Somehow though, I do think their parting might have done Wei Wuxian some good. Again, Wei Wuxian is a dense motherf*cker not the type who digs deeply at his own mind and feelings (heck, the boy falls asleep during meditation, and never forget the 'Do you like Mianmian?' incident), doesn't label things and just rides those feelings out openly and freely. Time apart from Lan Wangji could have given him more space to assess what he was feeling for the guy, what it meant to miss him, how badly he was missing him, and so on. And we know he missed him badly, because who in their right mind would play their theme song atop a mountain, looking like they were about to cry? How afraid he was to look behind him and find that maybe Lan Wangji wasn't really there, that it was all in his head… oh, Wei Ying. 

So, yes. We did not get the "I love you's" (nor "that night, I really wanted to sleep with you!" lmao) in the drama, but this also makes sense because Wei Wuxian probably also did not even know, or did not know what to call it, or whatever the heck they were. But spending those days (perhaps even months or years) away from Lan Wangji were clearly difficult for him, enough for us to know that their reunion would bring Wei Wuxian such relief, he likely would never let Lan Wangji go again. And maybe, just maybe, when they meet again, that's when it all comes to Wei Wuxian, the feelings he isn't able to keep anymore, and he would just burst out, "I miss you! I love you!"

[kdramaxoxo]

[smutandman]

[bentomodachi]

Hidamari Ga Kikoeru -Limit- Chapter 12

Hope you all had a great weekend :D As promised here is the next chapter of Hidamari Ga Kikoeru. Get ready because the angst is here T_T als

Chapter 12 of Hidamari ga kikoeru - Limit -

[chemdoodles]

I love Yashiro’s face in the title page of chapter 31 that I just had to draw it. Plus birb Doumeki resolutely following him.

[smutandman]

“Twittering birds never fly 5” italian edition.  *^*

[bentomodachi]

confrontations

[aliasanonyme-deactivated2019060]

Shueisha will release a BL anthology with the theme of Pure Love for the first time next April. A first visual including most of the artists featured in it has been revealed in the March issue shoujo magazine Cookie which is available on the 26th of January.  

The line up has been revealed:

Hidaka Shoko / Kinoshita Keiko / Kojima Lalako / Tagura Tohru / Abe Akane / Hamada Kamome / Shimotsuki Kairi / Kari Sumako / Madarame Hiro / Takagi Yuna / Fuyuno Ikuya / Maria / Rika Chimaki / Chashibu Tam / Nekono Mariko /、Tanakamori Yokota / Tsukahara Saki / Kurito Natsu

[just-another-otaku]

Credits

[fencer-x]

Free! Season 3 was just announced at the Times Square of Tokyo.

Coming Summer 2018

[fencer-x]

No details out yet beyond the date, but the material in the trailer was all from the new Take Your Marks movie, pretty much confirming it will be set post-graduation. Olympics or at least National Team shenanigans is a strong possibility in that case.

[twotheleft]

[smutandman]

Hidamari ga kikoeru by Yuki Fumino, here the beautifull Italian Edition (Flashbook Edizioni).

[hlorkaa-blog]

[innocent-laboratory]

作画4日目。 Marie Joseph Sanson カラー原稿途中。

[old-flappingduster]

なんで、キス、してこねーの …？

[old-flappingduster]

Baby Taichi compilation for all your Baby Taichi needs