would you guys read a creepypasta/slendermansion x reader story based on ethel cains albums
because her music vibes just makes sense to the vibe i’d want for a story like that
IF SO pls send plot ideas into my inbox or smthn that would be so cool
like imagine the story being similar to the preachers daughter and (one of) our lovers who kills and eats us is like eyeless jack, the equivalent to ethel and her lover isaiah hahahahehehdhehehaahha
the writers block while actively trying to grind on a piece is so infuriating.
i’m trying to rewrite a ben x reader i did on wattpad years ago bc i just love the concept so much but ITS COMING OUT SO BORING THE WAY I WRITE IT AND IM SCAREDDDDDDUGHHH
summary: between sleepless nights, bruised hands, and captain levi’s relentless attention, the line between self-preservation and self-destruction begins to blur. captain levi watches you like he’s waiting for you to make a mistake. the problem is that you can’t stop watching him back.
content warning(s): age difference, power imbalance, loss of innocence, mildly dubious consent, canon-typical violence, circa season 1 of aot, aged up recruits, slight eren yeager/reader, not so slowburn, eventual explicit sexual content.
chapter specific warnings: mentions of death/dying, me bending canon to my will, crying, heartbreak, levi back to being an ass.
author's note: im really sorry in advance guys. but the good news is that the next chapter will be very long again.
Eighty seven dead.
Eighty seven Survey Corps members who were no longer here with the living hung over everyone's head on the ride back to Karanese. The wagons that had been filled to the brim with bodies were only half full now, the rest of them scattered through the fields in between Wall Maria and Wall Rose in an attempt to run away from all of the abnormal Titans that descended upon them in the wake of the Female Titan’s scream.
No one spoke on the ride back, even the horses seemed to run quieter the closer they got to the District. Whether everyone was too exhausted or grief stricken to stop them from speaking, you weren’t sure. You weren’t sure what was settling in your chest either, just a longing feeling for this Expedition to finally be over.
Glancing over to your right, you watched one of the carts with green-cloaked bodies bump along the road. Every once in a while the wheels would catch a rock and you watched them shift, exposing the messy pile of broken bones and scattered blood along pale skin. One of the arms of a soldier fell loosely beneath a cloak, making you wince and turn your head back to stare forward.
You realized you couldn’t even picture eighty seven faces, the number too large to have your brain properly understand the sheer magnitude of how many people the Corps had lost today. As the walls of Karanese began to emerge from the horizon, you tightened your fingers against the reins. Too many people had ridden through the gates and would never ride through them again.
Ahead of you, Eren was laying unconscious in one of the carts with the injured. To his right, Levi rode along with his horse, posture rigid in the saddle. His green cloak stirred occasionally in the wind, allowing for you to see the contours of his face from underneath the hood. You’d heard murmuring that the whole Levi Squad had been killed in order to protect Eren from the Female Titan, and even then it wasn’t enough to stop her from almost capturing him entirely.
If he was mourning, Levi wasn’t showing it. His shoulders never slumped, his hands didn’t shake. A cool mask of indifference in the face of losing those deemed closest to him, those that he had personally handpicked to work underneath him. An entire squad had been erased before the sun set. Even through the numbness you couldn’t stop thinking about him from the night before. At the time, the way that Levi had looked at you and the way he spoke to you had felt like the most important thing in the world.
Now it felt impossibly small and stupid. It felt selfish.
The people of Karanese watched over the line of soldiers, a few commenting that the mission had failed while the others saw the solemn faces of the Scouts and wondered just how much loss had occurred. You looked over to Eren, a few portions of his body wrapped in bandages, dried blood staining his uniform. Every once in a while he would stir, like he was going to wake up. But he never did, his body exhausted from shifting into his Titan form.
“Taxpayer money at it again,” someone from the crowd complained loudly.
Another sighed. “And they still expect us to send our children into the military when all they do is bring back bodies.”
You wanted to pull your cloak over your entire body to shy away from the whispering scrutiny from the eyes of the public. It was one of those silent caveats that came with being a Scout. Civilians would never understand what it was like to be in your shoes, all they would see is the wreckage, the carnage, the body bags that came back with the group after expeditions. To the public, all the Scouts did was get themselves killed. They would never know what it was like outside of the walls, where things were unpredictable and plans never went as perfectly as everyone wanted.
A part of you wondered what would happen if you snapped back at them. Would they scrutinize you then once they saw how tired you were of losing comrades every single day? Would they look at you with pity or concern?
It didn’t matter. What was done was done. There was no way to erase the past, there was no way to erase the dead. Screaming at civilians wouldn’t do anything, it would only cause more distrust.
So you continued to do as you were told — staying silent, listening to the hooves of your horse clammer against the stone paths.
You let them talk, you let them wonder about what happened out there.
The formation slowly led to a stop near a courtyard outside the Garrison headquarters while stablehands walked over to take reins from Scouts, expressions changing when they looked at the wagons that held the bodies. You slid off of your house, knees nearly buckling. “I’ve got her,” the stablehand near you muttered, but you barely acknowledged them while you stretched out your legs.
Soldiers who were injured got off of the wagons first. While some of them were able to climb down with their own strength, others required assistance. It was a mess of broken ribs, sprained ankles, and bandaged wounds. Medics hurried with stretchers, lifting the more serious cases onto them before disappearing into headquarters. Eren was among them, his body limp as two medics eased him onto a white canvas stretcher. His arms and torso were wrapped with bandages, a pink stain coating them from dried blood.
You took a step towards him, but a Military Police officer moved into your path before you could.
“We’ll take it from here,” the man said with finality, making you stop to stare at Eren while he was ushered in.
“Where are you taking him?” You asked, barely glancing at the officer to watch Eren leave through the doorway.
He adjusted his rifle before looking at you again, expression unreadable. “Med eval first.”
“And then?”
He huffed out a laugh. “It’s not your problem to worry about, Cadet.”
You wanted to say something else, to demand answers for what they were planning to do with him, but your attention turned as you heard someone call your name. Turning around, you saw Armin and Jean standing near one of the wagons with the dead.
Armin waved his hand. “Section Commander Hange said that we have to unload . . .” He hesitated, looking over at the pile of bodies in front of him. “. . . them. So we can start preparing graves. Can you help?”
You swallowed, walking closer to the wagon. The white canvas had already been pulled back from a few, pale hands resting against one another where bodies had shifted, green cloaks torn in some places. They looked almost peaceful, laying there with their eyes fluttered shut like they were asleep. Jean already climbed into the wagon, hands reaching for the closest of the bodies. The boy couldn’t have been much older than you, but you didn’t recognize him. He must’ve been from the previous cadet corps or the one before. There was dirt smudged along his face mixed with maroon colored blood that was beginning to brown from oxidation.
When you reached beneath his shoulders to drag him out, you paused when you felt coldness underneath your fingertips. No sign of life, no rushing blood or scattered heartbeat. Just . . . cold. Your fingers tightened against the fabric of his green cloak and you lifted, stumbling a bit when the boy felt heavier than you expected.
Armin and you walked over to the temporary row of stretchers and you both laid him down carefully, as if there was any chance that he could somehow still feel it.
There were still dozens of bodies to round up and you knew that you would mourn every single one of them, regardless of if you knew them or not.
Two days passed before the Survey Corps made their way to Stohess in order to bargain with the Military Police about what to do with Eren after he had been turned over into custody of the government. Stohess was almost ten times more luxurious than Karanese had been with its bustling streets filled with merchants, military police walking up and down the pavements, and church bells ringing in the distance somewhere deeper into the district.
It was a nice change after the past few days of burying the dead, being briefed on what was next, and doing inventory of what supplies were left after the expedition. Every single waking hour was filled with something to do, allowing you less time to think about anything else. You were grateful for it, at least this way you didn’t have to think about the bodies you had unloaded or the wails of the injured soldiers.
There hadn’t been any time to speak to Levi, or at least, not the way that you would like to. A few offhand comments here and there directed at your friends or commands during the day, but nothing substantial. You’d mostly just seen him in passing, walking into meetings or across courtyards, or speaking with other veteran scouts. There were some times that you considered walking over there or going to his room during the later hours, but you didn’t. Perhaps it was because you felt as though you would be walking on eggshells after the passing of his entire squad, or perhaps it was because you were scared that he would push you away.
It wasn’t as though he was ignoring you, he was just . . . indifferent. There were no subtle glances your way that told you silently that he was still thinking about you. Levi would answer if you spoke and he would acknowledge your salutes all with detached professionalism he gave to every other recruit.
“I’m sure it will be fine,” you said to Mikasa, sitting down next to her in the mess hall. “They’re not going to execute him, Commander Erwin and Captain Levi won’t let that happen.”
Everyone was nervous about what was going on with Eren. First he had been allowed to join the Scouts as a possible advantage towards Titans, and now he was on the brink of almost being executed again. The words you spoke felt more confident than how you really felt. You weren’t sure that it was going to be alright. No one would be straightforward with their answers regarding him.
Mikasa looked up from her bowl that was still untouched in front of her. “You really believe that?”
“Yes,” you said, ignoring the hesitation in your voice. It wasn’t an entire lie, you did trust Erwin and Levi, neither of them seemed interested in Eren being executed. “They fought too hard to keep him alive the first time he was arrested by the government.”
Jean let out a laugh. “He’s too stubborn to kill anyways. The sneaky little bastard is probably already thinking of ways to break out.”
You pushed your food around your plate, too focused on worrying about Eren and Levi to contribute any more to the conversation. You were tired even though you hadn’t done much today, as you were all being treated like guests in Stohess while the military tried to determine the next course of action. It wasn’t the physical fatigue that you were used to, the one that settled into your muscles and made you ache externally. It was something quieter than that, an internal ache that only got worse with every hour that you spent eating, sleeping, and speculating about the future. The sun was setting outside and all you could think about was going to bed to try and have a better day tomorrow.
With a quiet sigh, you finally set your fork down onto your plate, standing up. “I’m going to go to my room,” you said, walking away before anyone could question you. Nobody stopped you.
The hallway outside of the hall was cooler, the sounds of conversation fading behind the heavy wooden doors that swung shut behind you. You were only halfway down the hall before someone rounded the corner — Levi.
As his eyes met yours, he stopped in his footsteps and so did you. His eyes looked tired, hair slightly disheveled as though he had been running his hands through it all day. It was the first time that the two of you had been alone since Karanese and it was also the first time that he had really looked at you since then.
“Captain,” you said quietly, standing awkwardly underneath the lamp light.
Levi gave a short nod your way. “Cadet.”
Then he started to walk again, past your shoulder so close that you felt the air shift. His footsteps echoed behind you. Your stomach sank with the realization that he wasn’t going to say anything else, he wasn’t going to turn around and say something to you that finally acknowledged the simmering tension.
So, as you had many times before with him, you turned. “Levi.”
His footsteps halted, looking over his shoulder. Levi glanced around the hallway and then towards the mess hall doors, calculating if anyone was going to pass by. Without a word, he walked towards you and reached for your wrist. It wasn’t rough, but commanding enough for you to follow him instead of pulling away. Levi guided you to one of the nearby empty offices, pulling you inside and shutting the door behind him. You heard the click of the lock as Levi let go of your wrist.
Levi put distance between you, several feet, giving you the indication that this wasn’t an attempt to get you alone to be close. It was to make sure that no one heard what the two of you were talking about. He stared at the floor, so uncharacteristic of who he was, like he was shying away from your gaze. Your head bowed, trying to catch his eyes again before he looked back up again, face stoic. “You can’t call me that,” he said, voice quiet with almost a hint of waver.
You cocked your head to the side. “What?”
“In public, my name. You can’t.”
“I—”
“You’re a recruit,” he pushed, voice devoid of that wavering you picked up on before. It was controlled and careful, the voice of a superior officer. “You address me as Captain.”
You folded your arms across your chest, feeling small under his gaze. Silence settled between the both of you, a heavy silence that left no room to beat around the bush, there was only one reason why this conversation was really happening. It was the same reason that the two of you couldn’t have it in the hallway to be overheard.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” you said, words impossibly small.
Levi closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. When he opened them again, there wasn’t anger, only exhaustion. As though this talk had been weighing on him heavily too. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because what has happened shouldn’t have happened.”
It felt like a smack in the face in the way that he said it. A glass shard stabbing you right in the chest, rigid and piercing. You stared at him, seeing nothing but a blank stare now, eyes towards you with his jaw tightened.
“You’re a recruit,” Levi continued without giving you a chance to say anything. “And I’m your Captain. This ends here, you understand?”
The room felt too small as you tried to think of the correct words to convey what you were feeling. The air had thickened to such a degree from his first sentence to his last, every single breath you too began to scrape against your lungs. You had, somewhere deep inside yourself, prepared yourself for distance. The day after the library you had expected that he would pretend nothing happened forever, but it wasn’t the case. He decided to end whatever this was after it had already gotten too complicated.
Levi had already taken things from you and now he was trying to give them back. The moments shared were reduced to something so trivial as a common mistake.
“So,” your voice caught in your throat, forcing you to clear it. “That’s it?”
“Yes, that’s what I said.”
“What about the library?” You asked, grasping at straws. His cold and indifferent face didn’t change. “The tent?” Nothing. “The other night before the expedition?”
Levi blinked, the words somehow meaningless to him.
You continued. “You told me that you couldn’t stop thinking about me. You told me that you dreamed of me.”
“I remember.”
His answer shattered you because he was admitting that he remembered everything. Your hands on him, his hands on you, the way you looked at him, the way he showed cracks of his true self. And yet he still stood there, rejecting you, rejecting this. Like it was easy for him, as simple as telling a noisy recruit off, like you were a nuisance.
It was the absence of any emotion that began to undo you. If he had shouted, perhaps it would have been easier, you could have shouted back. If he looked angry, you would be able to convince yourself that the anger was more towards himself than you. But this was empty, it was measured, leaving you with nowhere to go — cornered.
“You — you kissed me back,” you whispered. “You touched me, you told me—”
“I know what happened. It won’t happen again. It was a lapse in judgement.”
You suddenly realized why people said that heartbreak and rejections hurt. It wasn’t poetic or beautiful, it was sickening in a way that felt as though your body no longer fit around your own heart. It was nauseating, the feeling of your chest being ripped open, ribs flared and bared for anyone to take a piece out. Your whole body began to shake, eyes stinging. Lapse in judgement. You blinked and you felt tears well up in your eyes.
Please not here you tried to reason with yourself, desperately trying to keep the tears where they were instead of pouring out. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, you didn’t want him to get the satisfaction that his words were hurting you in the way he wanted them to.
“No,” you said, shaking your head. “You’re lying. I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not.”
When the first tear finally escaped your clutches, you barely noticed it landing onto the stone floor. Another followed, and then another. Embarrassment flowered through you so violently for a moment it eclipsed the hurt, but it was short-lived. What was even worse was that Levi didn’t reach out for you, he didn’t comfort you. He didn’t move, standing there and letting you fall apart in front of him, an inconvenience.
“So that’s all that it was then?”
“It wasn’t anything.”
You wiped your face with the sleeve of your shirt, trying to combat the tears as they came. You waited for anything, for something that told you he wasn’t being entirely truthful.
Nothing.
“Okay,” you said after a while. You nodded once, not to him, but to yourself. The heartbreak you felt began to shift into something else entirely, something akin to grief. If this was what he wanted and this was all it had ever been, there was no reason for you to fight any longer for some hidden truth if there truly wasn’t one.
You barely looked at him then, hand reaching for the lock on the door.
oh em geeee this is so hot i might’ve went a little crazy with this one idk.
ALSO THANK YOUUU ILY I APPRECIATE THAT SM!!💓
-
“tch, that all you got?”
levi clicked his tongue at you, immensely self-satisfied with the situation he was in currently.
your cunt throbbed against his clothed thigh, and he watched you desperately rutting against him with a supercilious glint in his normally dull eyes.
you were already way past the point of soaking the material in your own arousal, him leaving you to fuck yourself with it. for now.
“please, let—let me just-“
“-no, stay”
begging him for the past five or so minutes to let you move up to his lap, where your eyes fixated on his strained dick.
you’d rather be feeling that.
and levi was aware, but he enjoyed the control. he enjoyed watching you come undone on nothing but his leg, not giving you the satisfaction to feel him throbbing just yet.
and you were coming undone alright, every second of it pleased him.
your hair trickled against your face, skin slick with sweat, and he watched how every time you rolled your hips with just a bit more pressure, your brows would crease further.
your eyes would squeeze harder, your mouth would open wider.
the needy sounds that escaped your throat, chest heaving with every rut, head lolling to the side—fuck.
he wanted nothing more than to have you sit on it right now, but making you wait was so much better. the anticipation was the best part.
“you can do better than that”
you whimpered desperately, his leg kicking up to push harder against your pussy as you cried again.
your legs shuddered around his thigh, both of your hands gripping his leg to hold yourself up.
“can’t—more, please, levi”
he stared down at you as your head then lifted slowly, eyes flickering to his through teary lashes.
he let out a gutteral hum, taking in another good moment of you obscenely hump his leg, before finally giving in.
his hand came down, and you watched his two fingers order you to move with a come here motion.
you’d never moved faster in your life, leg swinging over his hip and grounding yourself against his lap.
his hand came up to your chest,
“fuck-easy there”
he said this as if he didn’t thoroughly enjoy the way you’d so frantically throw yourself at him.
immediately, your hips rolled and his hand on your chest slithered down to your hip, following the rhythm of your ruts.
his lips released a heavy sigh at the feeling, quite relieved himself to feel you now.
your cunt was so warm through his pants, and he thought you’d made a complete mess of yourself.
your hands came up to his shoulders, gripping them so tight in fear that if you let go, he’d slip away.
in fear that he’d move, and you’d lose this feeling, right on your clit, right where you knew the curve of his tip was through his pants, and you almost lost yourself.
“you’re loud, stop that”
he wishes you wouldn’t have to, but he was afraid someone would hear.
you hadn’t even realized how loud you were being until he said something. until both his hands landed in your lips, pulling you harder against him, there was no way you could be any closer.
he’d just asked you to be more quiet, but a second later he’s snapping his hips to meet your grind shamelessly.
he let out a grunt, and you felt his cock twitch against you, right on that spot.
“fuckfuckfuck—please!”
he then sat up in an instant, having you fall back suddenly with his hands now against the back of your legs and folding you almost in half.
“tell me”
his hands on the back of your knees folded you further, pushing them back to almost the limit of your flexibility.
snowghoul
germansingergirl
2087
stormborns
amandla
vaporwave
