I really like things. I also don't like things. I also like to do things and sometimes I don't like to do things 19 years old, STILL really bad at it lol.
it's funny because my job involves a lot of using a box cutter, so you'd think that's the thing I'd accidentally hurt myself with the most
but nooo no no no. the box cutter is my colleague, my ally, my friend. you know what is truly bloodthirsty in a print & signage shop? literally Anything Else that's able to cut but not supposed to. cardboard, sheets of plastic, the humble paper of course, corrugated polypropylene, aluminum composite sheets - i nicked myself on a sheet of magnetic material today?? it bled. kinda profusely.
basically:
box cutter: a trusty companion, might hurt you if you handle it wrong, but that's understandable
stuff you use the box cutter on: they know you as their enemy. they know the rules of this life: kill, or be killed. they know what they have to do.
Did the fandom overlook this because this is one of Leona's main trait (if not the main) and defensive mechanism
I kinda wanna yap idk if this counts as an analysis but yeah
I won't only talk about this screen but also everything in Leona's character soooo it's gonna be long
@waitlexist I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE LEONA BUT MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR OPINION..? Don't feel forced to read tho it's fine! Also I'd like to write about the other ob boys maybe I'll write about Riddle when I finish reading his dream..
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So Leona was born as the 2nd prince as we all know, meaning he still had a chance to become king if Falena died or if he wasn't good enough to be the king. Unfortunately for Leona, Falena was the perfect prince and everyone loved him, which means he'd be the king and Leona would be stuck as the 2nd prince all his life.. except if Falena didn't have a son by the end of his reign. Leona tried to prove himself to the others because he wanted to be king (i'll talk about this again later) but they always saw Falena as better, which made Leona jealous and resent everyone. Unfortunately for Leona again, Falena had Cheka. That's how Leona stopped trying because no matter what happened, he would never be the king.
At this point, Leona stopped giving any efforts into being a good prince and just lived as the "lazy 2nd prince" and people would still compare him to Falena. But instead of comparing their qualities and say that Falena was better in something Leona also had, they started straight up criticising him and forgetting every efforts he gave before. So Leona started basically hating everyone and he put up his nonchalant and "idgaf" persona like nothing got to him.
However Leona IS a sensitive person wether he hides it or not. Or else he wouldn't take competition and the title as king this seriously. If Leona wants to be king, it's because of the fame and love Falena was given. We see clearly in his dream that he doesn't like being the king, his kingdom suffers and he doesn't even know how/want to help them. So seeing this, it made me think, why does Leona want to be king? Why is his dream so tragic if he got what he said he always wanted?
Well that's just because he wanted to be acknowledged. When he was a child, people would praise Falena and say he'd be a great king in the future, so in Leona's mind, being king meant being praised. Being acknowledged. Being loved. If he didn't want to wake up from his dream, it's because he convinced himself that "king=happiness" and if he woke up and admitted that being king isn't truly what he chased after, he'd have to admit to himself that what he craves is love and acknowledgement, not the title. And that scares him, because deep down he's aware of it, but that doesn't mean he wants it to be a part of who he is.
In Leona's flashbacks, I don't think (and I don't remember) we see him interacting with his parents, so I think they might have neglected his emotional needs. Therefore, Leona didn't feel loved, because everything would go to Falena. Because "Falena is going to be a perfect king", it meant that all the love would go to him. In Leona's mind, it created this unhealthy thought that if he managed to be king, he would be loved. Instead of admitting to himself he chased love, he said he wanted to be king. But if he wanted that, it's only because he wanted love. It's an unhealthy cycle that Leona fell into at a young age.
So, when all his dreams got shattered by Cheka's birth, he stopped trying. If he could never be king, then everything else is meaningless. Because even if he managed to get success by doing something else, it would always feels inferior to Falena and Cheka. Because Falena was king, and Cheka was his heir. Maybe others would acknowledge him, but he would never acknowledge himself. That's some obsessional perfectionism, because if king means he's the best, then anything less is worthless. That's why he stopped trying.
Leona was never lazy, he just convinced himself that he will always find someone better than him. And meeting Malleus at NRC only made it worse. I think he obviously knew about Malleus, but competing against him in Spelldrive and realizing how wide is the gap between them? Traumatizing.
Because Leona found a passion, something he thought was worth actually trying at, and then some powerful mage that was born with everything, comes around, shatters his dream and seals him as an eternal second? Self esteem broke. That only made Leona's mental health worse. That's why he tried cheating in Book 2. His overblot wasn't just because of Spelldrive or the fact he wouldn't be king, it was also because of his own perfectionism and self hatred, and themselves were caused by the Spelldrive tournament and Falena and Cheka.
Coming to the screen I showed, it makes so much sense. He acts like he is better than everyone else because he objectively knows he's not a shit. He knows he is smart and powerful, so he can act arrogant. But when it comes to actually competing and risk losing? He doesn't try. He doesn't put that much efforts, or he cheats, like book 2's Spelldrive. That's because he's still haunted by what happened when he was younger, he was probably around 12-13 years old when Cheka was born. And at this time he tried everything possible to feel worthy and he hoped it would pay, he hoped it would matter. But it never did. So because of that, he's scared that if he puts every efforts in something, it'd end up like this. And he convinced himself that it always will. He will always ends up second. And even if he doesn't? Even if he actually gets first at something? He won't feel it's actually worthy, because it's not being king, it's not winning against Malleus, therefore, it's worthless too.
The only pride that's left in Leona's is the fact that he never tries but is still great. He can brag and say "I didn't try and I got better than you" so it still feels good to be able to say that. However if he actually tries and doesn't mean his own expectations? Pride would be broken. Like his dreams and hopes that were shattered when Cheka was born.
Also, I don't think he really hates Cheka or Falena, but that was obvious(?) He's not as heartless as he makes it seem, he actually likes his nephew and his brother. But everytime he looks at them, he remembers the pain they caused even if it was unintentional. I think at some point he really hated them, probably just after Cheka's birth he really really hated him, but he hated himself even more for hating Cheka. He knew that it wasn't the kid's fault, and he decided not to interact with him so he doesn't hurt him by accident if his anger ever showed up. But Cheka got attached to Leona and he didn't like it. I think it's because he felt guilty resenting a child and this same child liking him while Leona despised him and wished he wasn't born? He'd feel guilty. Now, Leona grew up and he puts up this "my nephew is annoying" persona just because he didn't want to admit he's not completely self centered.
Another thing I think isn't talked about enough is how Leona almost freaking KILLED Ruggie when he overblotted??? My theory behind this is Leona didn't like how Ruggie believed in him and respected him. Leona doesn't even believe in himself but Ruggie does? He craved feeling seen, but now that Ruggie is here to remind Leona that he's amazing, it feels weird and it annoys Leona. Ruggie doesn't know what Leona went through, but what he knows is that Leona is smart and powerful, so he respects him! But Leona knows that even if he has these qualities, he's not better than Malleus and Falena. So seeing someone praises him for something he feels is not enough? It irks him and I feel it also felt like expectations Ruggie had for Leona, even if it wasn't the case, he felt like Ruggie expected Leona to be the best or something, and Leona knew he'd end up disappointing Ruggie at some point. It's also the same for Jack. Jack stated directly that he respected Leona and he expected him to be a good leader and y'know give his best and all. But Leona knew again that Jack would end up disappointed when he'll see that Leona isn't better than Malleus, which Jack didn't even care a lot about but yeah.
If Ruggie followed Leona's plan, it's because he thought it was a smart plan and he respected Leona's sense of strategy, even if it was cheating. He also thought that what Leona wanted was just to win, but that wasn't really the case. By cheating, Leona was protecting his pride. He knew no matter what that he would lose. So he came up with cheating, so that when he wins and people accuse him of cheating when they discover the injuries were caused by him, he'd say "Yeah and? You didn't see it comin' and no one stopped me, that proves how smart I am." Or if people would say it was because Malleus didn't participate, he'd say "So what? I still won." Those two things would protect his pride, even if deep down it wasn't was he strived for. But Ruggie only saw Leona's greed and thirst for victory, no matter what it would take. Seeing someone follow so thoroughly Leona's plan was both satisfying and unnerving. Because Ruggie genuinely thought his intelligence would make him better than Malleus, but Leona knew that wasn't the case.
If he almost killed him when he overblotted, it's because deep down he wanted to prove Ruggie that he wasn't this great. That Ruggie shouldn't respect someone as worhtless and tricky as Leona, to prove him that he wasn't as amazing as Ruggie thought. THAT DOESN'T JUSTIFY IT. I'm just trying to explain the why and how Leona's overblot form thought about killing Ruggie. Because obviously that wasn't what Leona really wanted, it was the blot possessing him. Just like with the others, they almost killed us and other students but it wasn't targeted (except Neige for Vil). But for Leona it was targeted at Ruggie and what I wrote is the reason, I think, that's just my theory for that.
After the overblot Leona felt guilty. I hc that everytime he'd look at Ruggie he'd feel overwhelming guilt. He realized after his overblot that Ruggie genuinely respect Leona for what he IS, not what he can or can't be. So he feels really really bad that he tried to kill him.
Headcanon: he definitely apologized by letting Ruggie takes his card and buys the amount of food he needed.. he doesn't know how to apologize but Ruggie understood the intention. He made it clear to Leona that he forgave him and he would still follow him no matter what (in a snarky and cocky way bc this is still Ruggie). After that Leona learned to forgive himself too, because he knows he wasn't in his right mind and it would be stupid to blame himself so much over it.
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OKAY UH I THINK THAT'S IT?? English isn't my first language pls tell me if something doesn't make sense or if you find any mistakes. Also if there's typos or words missing uh.. sorry ig..
I kin Leona so much, maybe I projected without realizing it.. PLEASE tell me if this is ooc! Or just share your view too I love to talk about my fav characters!
If I ever share anything that was AI generated it is purely by accident. I hate that it's getting harder and harder to tell and it makes me want to never use the internet again. It definitely had its faults, but man I miss the internet of the 2000s so much.
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