The Grand Illusion

They call me the Trickster. I live on a diet of just desserts. Need I say more?

[cornerbakerycafe]

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Terminus never could decide if he wanted sacrifices or not. I guess you could say he's on the fence.

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Ishtar presides over both love and war, which should've made her a shoo-in as the patron of marriage counsellors. (Unfortunately, Nanshe ended up with that job.)

[pielicker81]

Not Quite Twister || Dean, Rory and Gabriel

[pielicker81]

Dean grunted in something that passed as thanks as he took another swig from Rory’s drink, scooting the ‘tea’ towards Rory for him to choke down. The waitress, ‘Jill’, her tag said, set down his plate before Dean could even manage a good smile. Eh. Lost cause anyway. He decided avoiding Rory’s eyes for another minute was the best way of dealing with the rejection. Besides, the food they’d gotten looked pretty good, almost steaming, and Dean could feel himself salivating at the smell. With an appreciative grip, Dean lifted the burger to his mouth, and—

A violent scream sliced through any hopes Dean had of a good meal. He cursed, putting it down and wiping his hands angrily on his jeans. Practically used to this kind of shit, Dean spared a ‘god fucking damn it, we better be ready to kill something’ glance to Rory, which in hindsight he might not have understood. Usually Sam was the person on the receiving end of that look. Regardless of who was where, Dean got up and slipped a hand discreetly into his jacket to feel for his knives. Thankfully, both were in place, and while he didn’t want to scare anyone by whipping one out yet, he was at the ready. The civilian screaming and general plate-dropping cacophony that came exclusively from a death in a diner only intensified when someone cried out that Jill had died. “Shit,” Dean cursed, looking to Rory in hopes that he had noticed the nameplate earlier. While the toys and candy canes hadn’t fit the story, the double name and dead waitress conformed perfectly. Dean didn’t waste time worrying about the conflict and bustled quickly through the diner, shouldering past frightened customers. They could check the security tape, just to be sure, and do the smart thing, but… Shit, people were in danger. It couldn’t be too far. 

"Rory?" Dean barked, remembering to keep him close. There hadn’t been much time between when the body was discovered and when their waitress had disappeared. The shifter was going to have to shift, soon, and they needed to get moving. Adrenaline just beginning to flow through his veins, Dean grabbed at Rory’s elbow and hauled him along through the exit. "You notice anything weird about our waitress?" Besides her apparent lack of taste, Dean thought bitterly. He personally hadn’t seen her eyes flash, but after getting snubbed he’d kinda stopped looking. Damnit.

[awarrioroutoftime]

Rory smirked at Dean, rolling his eyes. He’d heard all the typical ‘American’ stereotypes, but he’d never thought them believable.He hid his smile behind a chip, chewing slowly and letting his eyes trail to the people outside as he tried to decide what to talk about. Then there was a scream and he jumped, quickly scrambling to his feet when he saw Dean doing so.

As he jogged behind Dean he tried to make sure that no one else was hurt or being hurt. If anyone called for a doctor he could at least help a little before a real doctor could arrive. Speaking of, he expected a certain Doctor to be popping in the door at any moment. Then he heard Dean’s voice call his name and he quickened his pace, allowing Dean to pull him outside.

He was already panting, but he was excited and ready for an adventure. He glanced around at the people outside when they were in the alley and shook his head at Dean. “No. I mean, I was really trying /not/ to notice her, honestly. Married!” He sung the last word, pointing pointedly toward his wedding ring. “But, other than the fact she can’t see the band, no. I thought she was perfectly normal until it turned out she was dead. Oh hey!” He shouted, pointing to the trash cans across from them. “There’s that, uh, goop again…” He wrinkled his nose and looked down at his shirt.

[snarkangel-blog]

By now, panicked diner patrons were beginning to rush out of the building. The Trickster gave the restaurant a quick glance over his shoulder and increased the pace of his steps. Passing pedestrians gave him curious looks as they realized some kind of fuss was ensuing, but he quickly pushed past them down the walk.

Once satisfied that he had just the right amount of suspiciousness, he listened for the approaching hunters. Well... A hunter and a nurse.

He aimed for an upcoming alleyway, timing himself against past encounters with the elder Winchester brother. Even without Sam to work with, Dean would be able to keep the trail with little assistance. All the more reason not to overdo it... Just an especially quick-changing shapeshifter, nothing more.

Yeah, but there's more to that nurse than it looks. There was no denying that. Scatterbrained maybe, but a Trickster knows how unpredictable those can be. We'll see pretty soon.

[sokkarang]

[snarkangel-blog]

What? I’m hilarious! Hey, do you know what you call a mossy tree in Texas? Don’t matter what you call it, it’s not gonna answer.

I’ll execute this candy bar as a demonstration. And I think a chocolate palace could work, if it were a cold enough climate. Although the chocolate might get brittle… Maybe you could put some straw in it? Like some kind of semi-edible adobe. “Chocodobe”? Can I just say, I don’t really want to get in a fight with you. I mean, I don’t want to get in a fight period, But you kind of… Well, let’s just say I was warned about the nice ones. And you’re right about that chocolate wine… Not great at all. Better to keep ‘em separate. Chocolate brandy cake is not bad, though. (I’m probably making you hungry by this point.)

[theotherharvellehunter-blog]

*snorts*  Oh my god.  That might be the most awful joke in existence, why am I even laughing?

That’s disgusting.  Chocolate and straw?  Why would you even think of that?  And I’m pretty sure you’re one large oven away from turning into the witch from Hansel and Gretel.  You might wanna watch out for that.  I hear it’s not healthy, what with the getting burned up and all.  Also, getting beat by a couple snotty kids?  Embarrassing.

I’m pretty sure I ought to take that as a compliment.  Seriously, though, not picking fights? Probably not a dumb idea, in general.  And I’m pretty sure you don’t have to worry about the nice ones as long as you stay on their good side.  I could get behind the idea of chocolate brandy cake.  Don’t think I’ve ever tried it, but it doesn’t sound bad.

[snarkangel-blog]

Because I'm hilarious.

It would be, like, clean straw at least. It should be a rule really, if you're gonna make stuff out of food, it should still be edible. You know how they make those gingerbread houses with the raw egg icing, and then tell you not to eat it? Ridiculous... Hey, I bet that witch used egg frosting on her house. Those kids prob'ly got sick as hell! Not quite making up for the oven thing, but you take what you can get.

Wanna try that cake? I think I could whip up a pretty good one. I'd just need, uh, chocolate, brandy and cake.

And pliers. *Smile*

[snarkangel-blog]

Wow, not surprising at all. Have you read his fanfiction? He even writes himself into his stories. Like the one about having nine mothers… Guy needs help, I think he’s been staring at rainbows for too long.

(And just between us, I looked over some of that “Raganrok” prophetic stuff once, the writing style seems eerily familiar…)

[hair-of-naught]

Your words are either twisted lies told intentionally or the results of lunacy.  Take more care of how you speak of my brother.

[snarkangel-blog]

Woah now, lies? I may exaggerate, but... I never lie. (See that? Exaggeration at work!)

But really, Heimdall is a great writer. (And I can't seriously call him crazy, can I? As for me being crazy, I'll let you draw your own conclusions.) Most of his work may not be your style, but... Y'know, check out Three Jotuns and a Woodcarver. Classic. Even you would appreciate it.

Guy's practically my favorite. Besides Thor, probably... Haven't seen Thor in too long. What's he up to these days? Hope he didn't lose Mjollnir again. The last time that happened... Ha ha. Great story there, too.

We should talk about old times more often!

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Vidar seems a little strange: He never talks, and only wears one shoe. Nobody was surprised when he took up painting, but his new rock band was a bit unexpected.

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Iris used to be the messenger of the gods. I say "used to be" since they've all switched to texting by now. I heard she works on a customer support line now, poor kid.

[snarkangel-blog]

Heimdall is sometimes referred to as “the whitest of the gods”. Predictably, his rap album was a colossal flop.

[of-the-golden-hair-blog]

#True Facts

I highly doubt any of this information is in any way true or factual.

[hair-of-naught]

The appellation is correct, my brother was called that by Midgardians.  However, it means nothing as one of mine is “Gentlest of the Gentle”.  He does not perform music of any kind and rarely leaves his post on the Bifrost.  He is known for reciting sagas that are quite entertaining.  His latest ones are of a play he watches on Midgard about a comely healer that wears leather boots with heels.  His stories seem to focus less on healing and more on the healer’s pursuit of women.  At no time has the healer ever ridden a horse.

[snarkangel-blog]

Wow, not surprising at all. Have you read his fanfiction? He even writes himself into his stories. Like the one about having nine mothers... Guy needs help, I think he's been staring at rainbows for too long.

(And just between us, I looked over some of that "Raganrok" prophetic stuff once, the writing style seems eerily familiar...)

[snarkangel-blog]

Thor’s hammer was created by the dwarves. That’s right, little people invented power tools.

[captain-coma-deactivated2019012]

I don’t understand this.

[snarkangel-blog]

It's, well... Mjollnir, it's a lightning hammer. Lightning = electricity = power. And a hammer is a tool. (When it's not a weapon. For the sake of the joke I'm calling it a tool.)

Don't you kids have jokes up there? Funny ones, I mean.

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Thor's hammer was created by the dwarves. That's right, little people invented power tools.

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Nut is said to stretch across the whole sky. She always did win aerobics competitions (because nobody else would even try to compete).

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Charon has a really short temper. Once he tried to beat me down, when I asked him if he was a hillbilly. (Because he lives "out in the Styx".)

Guy has no sense of humor.

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Heimdall is sometimes referred to as "the whitest of the gods". Predictably, his rap album was a colossal flop.

[snarkangel-blog]

Did you know?

Poseidon is traditionally associated with horses. He's been known to have a bit of a gambling problem.

[sokkarang]

[snarkangel-blog]

Right, right. Friends, yeah.

Self-deprecation isn’t funny if you agree, you know. But I still think I have a shot at “King of Chocolate”. I rule my subjects with grace, and so on. Wait… Are you suggesting that messing with drunk people isn’t relaxing? But me, I’m more of a cake, wine, and… independent film… kind of guy. I don’t settle for the cheap stuff, either, if I have a choice. Not sure about beer, to be honest. Always seems to be missing something.

[theotherharvellehunter-blog]

I’m awful sorry you’re having trouble with your humor.  Ever considered making funnier jokes?

Well, I don’t know about that one, so I’ll have to take your word for it.  At least until you produce some kind of proof of your reign over chocolate.  I hear chocolate palaces are impractical, though, so maybe don’t go for that.

Okay, you’ve got a point there, but mostly guys don’t take too kindly to getting beat by somebody my size.  Then we have to have us a little scuffle, and they really don’t take kindly to getting beat up by somebody my size.  Not exactly a relaxing night, even if it’s good for blowing off a little steam.  I dunno, if you’re the self proclaimed King of Chocolate, sounds to me like you ought to be drinking chocolate stout.  Or that shitty chocolate wine, I guess.

[snarkangel-blog]

What? I'm hilarious! Hey, do you know what you call a mossy tree in Texas? Don't matter what you call it, it's not gonna answer. I'll execute this candy bar as a demonstration. And I think a chocolate palace culd work, if it were a cold enough climate. Although the chocolate might get brittle... Maybe you could put some straw in it? Like some kind of semi-edible adobe. "Chocodobe"? Can I just say, I don't really want to get in a fight with you. I mean, I don't want to get in a fight period, But you kind of... Well, let's just say I was warned about the nice ones. And you're right about that chocolate wine... Not great at all. Better to keep 'em separate. Chocolate brandy cake is not bad, though. (I'm probably making you hungry by this point.)

[sokkarang]

[snarkangel-blog]

Eh. A lot of the time that just gets you in more trouble. Isn’t that how feuds start? I had to live with that stuff for too long. But enough about that.

Hey, “King Cynic” has gotta be better than “King of the idiots”, right? There’s some other things I’d rather be king of, though. “King of Chocolate” sounds pretty great. Oh, and not to change the subject, but uh… Well yeah. Changing the subject. What do you do to relax? I mean, you can’t stay combat-ready all the time. Do you like pool? That looks pretty popular with the crew.

[theotherharvellehunter-blog]

Nah, I have a scorched earth policy.  But seriously, I’m not going to fuck with the boys that badly.  Chill, dude.  They’re friends, I’m not going to start some kind of feud with them.

I’m pretty sure King of Chocolate goes to the Hershey’s guy, sorry.  Or some old dude in Switzerland or something.  But yeah, I think you’ve probably got the King of Idiots beat.

Very smooth subject change there.  Subtle.  Not at all painfully obvious.

Oh sweetie.  Pool is not for relaxation.  It’s for fleecing hard-working drunk people out of any and all cash they happen to have on them.  That’s why the game was invented.  No, relaxation is questionable Chinese, craft beer, and Discovery Channel, if wherever I’m staying has it.

[snarkangel-blog]

Right, right. Friends, yeah. Self-deprecation isn't funny if you agree, you know. But I still think I have a shot at "King of Chocolate". I rule my subjects with grace, and so on. Wait... Are you suggesting that messing with drunk people isn't relaxing? But me, I'm more of a cake, wine, and... independent film... kind of guy. I don't settle for the cheap stuff, either, if I have a choice. Not sure about beer, to be honest. Always seems to be missing something.