So Freaking Charming

Auntie Snix's Internet Home All you need to know: I'm Santana Lopez, and I'm your wildest dream and your worst nightmare. Senior at BSU, Kappa Delta, Cheerleader, Bitch Goddess of Miami

[alexisthatshit]

I fell asleep, again.

[alexisthatshit]

This bitch doesn’t either. What’s your new life goal? To have your hands down my pants? I’ll never object to that. As I’m the hottest piece of Pierce there is. Whatever you say, sexy.

Course, babe. I’d be more than welcome to relief you of that memory how it feels like to have mind blowing sex with the hottest meat around town. I wouldn’t say tragic since it’s a win-win for me.There is, good things cums to those who wait.

[snix-says]

Specifically to have my hands down your pants in public.  I haven't really added public sex to my list yet, and I'd like to.  It seems necessary to live up to the 'vicious slut' image I've been working so hard on.

Where have you been all my life?  I really should have started admitting to m sapphic tendencies a lot earlier, I've clearly been missing out on the best kind of sex.

[alexisthatshit]

I fell asleep, again.

[alexisthatshit]

As dangerous as that plan would be, I’m a 100% down with that. No pressure or anything but I’ll be waiting. There was a reason why I considered you the hottest Lopez.

And in case you’re wondering which I know you were, I definitely appreciate the view. If I could worship it, I would.

[snix-says]

I don't kid around, cupcake, I'm making this a new life goal.  And of course I'm the hottest Lopez.  The other two are just leeching off of me.  It would be sad if I wasn't so worthy of being imitated.

I like that you threw worship in there.  I have felt worthy of it on occasion.  It's been a really long time since I've been properly worshiped by a girl as sexy at you.  Tragic, really.  Is there a reason we haven't hooked up yet?  I'm trying to think of one, but it's hard.  

[alexisthatshit]

I fell asleep, again.

[alexisthatshit]

Tempting. Tempting and smooth but sorry hotstuff, can’t. This old hag have me black listed, one more no show for me and I’m dead. Think of it as a life and death situation, cos you know I’d never pass a day wanting to hang with you.

Rain check, maybe?

[snix-says]

Fuck that shit.  I guess I could crash the class with you, but I think trying to get  my hands down your pants in a classroom would probably get ups both kicked out and keep you in school purgatory even longer.

And obviously. What's the point of summer if not strutting around in bikinis for everyone who might appreciate the view? 

[kingkurthums]

Well, that wasn’t the plan, but that’s not a terrible idea, Lopez.

[snix-says]

I have tons of awesome ideas, Twinkie, and you know it.  I'm the best.

[alexisthatshit]

I fell asleep, again.

Well, that was completely a waste of time. I don’t get why they keep forcing me to take this freaking class. They’re fully aware I’ll fall asleep through it again. Teachers are stupid. They should just spend more time trying to make this fucking chairs comfortable to sleep in.

[snix-says]

Why don't you just stop going altogether?  Just show up on test days like the rest of us.  Come spend the rest of the day on the beach with me.

[kingkurthums]

I need a vacation. And by vacation, I mean I need an intense road trip.

[snix-says]

If this road trip is strip clubs and bordellos of America, I'm in.

[wildegio-deactivated20151017]

I have two days off in front of me and I really couldn’t be more excited. Sure, coming home with a ton of cash is nice, but forty-eight hours where I can pick and choose who sees me topless sounds like actual heaven.

[snix-says]

P.S.  It really blows that you work at the hottest strip club in town, because I feel kind of skeezy checking out women there when my sister is on stage.  Thanks for letting me know you won’t be there for two days. Auntie Snix has some ladies to visit. 

[piercelexi]

I think a lot of adults are still living a one night stand appreciated life. Does that mean you want a relationship instead?

[snix-says]

I had one for awhile.  It didn't go well. I don't know why I even want one again, but the one night stands aren't cutting it anymore.

[anyapearce]

Those were never my thing. Shocker coming from a Sigma Pi alum right? 

[snix-says]

Really?  Not even a little bit?  Are you sure you're a Sigma Pi?

[hockeyxpuck-blog]

Want me to set up an intervention?

[snix-says]

Yes.  One with strippers and a few high class hookers.

[blueskyfabray]

That’s good to hear! Not about the heartbreak, but I’m glad you survived it. I’ve been very well, thank you. I’m still working on my surgical internship at the moment.

[snix-says]

Wow, look at you, cutting people open for fun and profit.  Good for you.

[bsuquinn]

Messy is definitely a possibility. I guess the appeal is the idea that one day you’ll find someone who isn’t messy… or at least, someone who is worth the mess. Absolutely. 

[snix-says]

How do you know for sure?  I thought I had that, but it ended up being an even worse mess in the end.  And I don't think it was worth it.

[gunthersclarington]

Why does it have to suck?

[snix-says]

My maiden voyage into the world of monogamy didn't end very well for me.

[krazykhy]

It totally sucks. I hope I never get to that point in my life.

[snix-says]

You should.  It's a very crappy place to be.  It's like I fell down the well of monogamy and I can't crawl back out of it.

[blueskyfabray]

Alright! Alright, fair enough. Besides settling but not settling, how’ve you been, Santana?

[snix-says]

I've been.  Career is going as well as can be expected and I've survived my first major heartbreak, so there's only good stuff on the horizon. How about you?

[hockeyxpuck-blog]

Who are you and what did you do with Santana Lopez?

[snix-says]

I know.  I'm disgusted by myself.

[blueskyfabray]

Alright, sleeping with the same person. You say potato. We’ll wait for the I told you so’s when you call it settling down.

[snix-says]

Settling down implies settling and I'm never going to do that.