i’m having a few incoherent thoughts about how both simon and baz’s love language is acts of service and about how much these acts are tied with the violence they were given when younger like simon’s love is destructive he kills things for baz he hurts things for baz amd that’s how he shows it bc that’s what he thought of love because of the mage and how the mage wanted him to destroy everything and how baz’s love is self destructive he went through everything in america without complaining once and that’s how he shows it bc he always had destruct himself (both as a vampire and queer person) in order for the ppl on his life to love him
i thought a bit more abt baz and his love form i mean all his fantasies regarding simon when he was younger were self destructive like the biggest act of love simon could show baz was killing him and how baz’s biggest act of love he could show his mother was him killing himself bc he was a vampire and she would never love him like that and he wanted her to love him and how he would rather be hungry than eat in front of his family bc of his fangs and he wanted his family to love him and they would never love him if they saw he’s a vampire and how like the first thing he thought after finding out he didn’t need to kill to have blood and that he could retract his fangs was calling his father bc then his father would love him and man i’m sad sad very miserable very blue
