I promise one day I'll put actual content on here

So far it's basically me venting about my private life and book quotes. We'll see if it changes.

[snowbazchap61]

Picture from spring break but I love the resolution https://www.instagram.com/p/BwI7dyJBxAR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9p3h82e2qzib

[snowbazchap61]

Crazy=Genius -Panic at the Disco

I’m so tired of it all. I want to go to another world. I want to go to another world where all of this dumb bullshit doesn’t exist. Where I can participate in a school musical and be happy without even trying. Where I can dream of being a lead and sing their songs and belt imagining I was playing them without having them crushed by the people around me. Without going home every night and wanting to hide. As of now, I have two questions. 1) Am I being abused? I have common symptoms ( though self-diagnosed) and I find less obvious abuse practices from my parent's actions towards me. Or maybe I'm biased. Maybe I’m emotional. Maybe I’m being an asshole. 2) I can imagine a world without me. Let me elaborate. I can imagine myself driving a kitchen knife through my wrist, thighs, ankles, or wherever I can reach. I can imagine pushing too hard and there being millions of places with an empty space. A space that I was supposed to occupy. I have Panic at the Disco playing in the background but it’s slow to remedy. At least, temporarily. This world that I dream of? It has me and my girlfriend, cuddling on a couch, crying during the movie “Home” together. It has a legal wedding ring on our fingers. It has the smell of brownies wafting through every room during Sunday afternoons without even trying. I have pictures of me belting on stage with all the lights on me smiling with no regrets because hearing the laughter from the audience makes me overjoyed. Oh. And I forgot 3. 3) I don’t want my family in this world.

[snowbazchap61]

I don’t have the patience for a song title for this one

I’m tired of their shit. I’m tired of them acting like he’s a good father. Like he doesn’t have abusive tendencies. Like he hasn’t learned to treat us like shit just because he’s stressed. Just because he has cramps as bad as any girl you come across. Like his work is anymore loaded with bullshit than the school system is. Like he’s any better than we are. Fuck this shit. And now he’s yelling again. For the dumbest reasons. And she’s going to blame it on me. Fuck all of it.

[snowbazchap61]

What Makes you Beautiful -One Direction

It happened today. They got in a fight and I had to leave. My favorite words were “You’re an asshole” and the response “I’m not”. So I called her. And it helped. It truly helped. She’s amazing in the best way. Sure, she looks amazing but she’s so much more than her cherry lipstick. She’s a flare in our benign galaxy. At least, benign when compared to her. She’s magic on Earth. She’s what I dream about (non-sexually of course). And she likes me. And I like her. I’m gonna need to believe that but as of now, I’m astounded.

[snowbazchap61]

I’m Yours -Jason Mraz

I asked her to homecoming. (We’ll call her M&M, short for mermaid). How did I get so lucky? She’s a goddamn miracle and I couldn’t wish for more. I talk to her and I'm genuinely interested in what she says. That never happens to me. Even with my best friends. If I'm in a bad mood I just stare at them and pretend I'm listening (something I definitely need to change) but with her I always listen. She’s making me better. She’s so tolerant and passionate and I love it. it’s insane. This had tone the most teenage thing I’ve done so far.

[snowbazchap61]

I’m afraid. J shouldn’t be afraid. I’m afraid of him. I’m stuck and I’m as far away as I can get bit he’s right beside me and I’m afraid. I shouldn’t be but I’m crowded against a wall with my leg hiked up in one of my favorite restaurants but I’m still cowering and i can barely eat and I’m hungry but i can’t eat. And heavy talking again. He’s talking and talking and talking and getting more narcissistic and biased and scary by the second I hate it I hate it I hate it and in singing. I’m sing about death and winter and decapitation of little midget creatures and it feels right and he’s oppressing more and more and I live with him and goddamit I LIVE WITH HIM. and head talking about death and judging so much judging and I’m afraid to talk and I stopped singing and I’m getting cliser to the wall and she van talk normally to him how how how and he’s being crude again help

[snowbazchap61]

Flashback to when I was afraid of my dad and we had a discussion about nonfunctional families

[peachesfromny-deactivated202507]

PASS THIS ON.

The first transgender suicide hotline is now up and running in the U.S. You can reach Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860.

[fangirlnerd101]

With trump winning this is especially important. Please reblog even if it “doesn’t fit your blog theme”

[officialwilfordwarfstache]

please reblog. 

[snowbazchap61]

[mangoeater1000-deactivated20201]

[thegayalchemist-deactivated2018]

[thegayalchemist-deactivated2018]

[thegayalchemist-deactivated2018]

[thegayalchemist-deactivated2018]

[snowbazchap61]

September Song- JP Cooper

I really wanna kiss her (not pretty little angel eyes) (well call her plae). It’s not the sexually frustrated kind of kissing. No, no, it the wholesome type. The type that puts the butterflies in your stomach to sleep. The type that make you want to dance to fall out boy until you drop with her. The type that makes you feel like you’re on another level. It doesn’t that she JUST dyed her hair stark blue and goddamn is it sexy. I want to run my hands through it. I want to do that chin thing where you lift it up and down while pushing her against her down (gently and me sitting on her lap of course). I want to run my fingers along spine of her neck while kissing her collarbones and shoulders. Nothing more. Just that. No sounds, no suggestions or implications, just that. As pure as the resting butterflies in our whole system.

[snowbazchap61]

September Song- JP Cooper

I really wanna kiss her (not pretty little angel eyes) (well call her plae). It’s not the sexually frustrated kind of kissing. No, no, it the wholesome type. The type that puts the butterflies in your stomach to sleep. The type that make you want to dance to fall out boy until drop with her. The type that makes you feel like you’re on another level. It doesn’t that she JUST dyed her hair stark blue and goddamn is it sexy. I want to run my hands through it. I want to do that chin thing where you lift it up and down while pushing her against her down (gently and me sitting on her lap of course). I want to run my fingers along spine of her neck while kissing her collarbones and shoulders. Nothing more. Just that. No sounds, no suggestions or implications, just that. As pure as the resting butterflies in our whole system.

[snowbazchap61]

 Yo I just learned what apropos meant and how to use it and I'm stoked. seriusly though how am I not supposed to be exited?! Also my computer is SUPER slow at the moment so stopping this is apropos to the situation because goddamn I can barely type. bye ya’ll.

[snowbazchap61]

Here you go. I promise satisfaction.

[snowbazchap61]

I’m bored. I have a friend coming over sometime but I have nothing to do since then. I did all my chores, I’ve watched everything interesting on youtube that I want to watch and I have NOWHERE to go. Is that a compound word? Probably not. And I just had to fix capitalization. God I hate the grammar on this website. I was remembering stuff earlier though. It was one of those trademark Cinderella moments. Standing on the porch, sweeping, staring in to the clouds. Twas’ the saddest moment this day. No joke though. Anyways, I’ve recently developed an intense love for Klance. If you don’t know who that is pull up another tab and look it up. You won’t be disappointed. I promise. Let’s be real here, how am I not supposed to fall in love with Keith’s emotions hair or Lance’s smirk! MEGA UGH. I’m still waiting for season six. Klance may as well be half the reason I'm watching this show. The other half is Shallura and all the other characters because they’re all SO damn lovable. Honestly, I cried when Pidge saw Matt’s grave. It’s depressing to think that might happen to me. Friends, family, everyone. It seems weird knowing that someone is actually reading this. Not pressuring, just weird. Despite that, I feel that some Voltron fan art is apropos for this situation. See you later.

[snowbazchap61]

Lemon to a Knife Fight -The Wombats

So I did a thing. It was a dumb thing. It was an offensive thing. I deserve the recognition that it was offensive. Every time he looks at me its dissapointment. This blank stare but not blank. Full of emptiness I guess. But still dissapointing. Should I have flinched? Its no matter now. I flinched. Nothing can change that. Did I deserve to flinch? Probably. I feel like undeserved flinching. Maybe I didn’t. Maybe I do. I’m on the opposite side of him now. Thank goodness for that. His friend would’ve noticed me cowering. Unlike him. Or her. I gotta go. Later peeps.

[snowbazchap61]

Sort of Revolution- Fink

     Hey guys ( of which no one actually qualifies for since no one reads this). So I'm kinda not feeling well. my contacts are also failing me so it’s kinda hard to type. I’m not sick. It’s just that it hurts to sit down after I walk (I was at the skating rink and fell 7 times ( I counted. also, screw grammar) but skated for three hours). I do have this small headache thats almost nonexistent though. It only exists if I focus on it. Like Schrodinger’s cat ( I definitely spelled that wrong). What was the point of this again? Huh. Guess we’ll never know. Anyways, I'm holed up in my room with the one light off but the windows have shades that let some dim light in. There’s also my laptop. On my lap. Guess I got that going for me. I’m also kinda waiting for a reply from her too (look in previous posts). I found this really cute picture that her dad took of her when she accidentally fell asleep on the couch and her dogs cuddled up next to her. I don't have the heart to tell her she looks beautiful in it. That might also sound stalkerish. This sounds stalkerish. Well than. She said she wanted to be just friends but I realized something. We never really changed. We stayed the same and just added labels to it. Also, I still really love her eyes. Haven’t told her that either. Anyways, later.

[snowbazchap61]

Morgana: What has Camelot ever done for you? Why would you wanna save it?

Merlin: Because I'm one of the idiots that lives in it!