im serious about that “stop saving things for special occasions” bit tho like. even if u aren’t in your 20s. thats for everyone. its one of the most useful things ive learned lately
stop! just stop. eat the special snack. drink the expensive hippie tea. use the incense or the bath bomb or whatever you paid way too much for because you were feeling really bad and retail therapy makes u feel alive
when we save things for special occasions/rainy days it contributes to us feeling like A.) our day to day existence is lackluster and B.) you have to be feeling a certain level of Bad, or have to reach a certain level of Socially Accepted Achievement, to enjoy things
just give yourself stuff. there are definitely sometimes reasons to withhold things from yourself - as motivation, if it’s something you consciously want to use sparingly, etc - but at least for me half the time it just turns into self-flagellation and also cool things and cool experiences and nice treats just collect dust while i wait for some fabled day when i convince myself i finally Deserve it
just fuckin give yourself stuff dude. life’s so mindblowingly short
my grandmother died having only used her china like twice in her life. during the year or so before her death, she was starting to package up and give things of hers to her kids, and gave mom the china while sighing “oh i wish i had used the china more!” and mom tried so hard to convince her to just keep it, then, and eat corny dogs off it if she wanted. she insisted she couldn’t possibly, you need a special reason to use the fine china. when nana died, we used her fine china as our everyday dishes for years. i was 18 when she died, and never really stopped having that in the back of my head. now, when i hear myself say “i wish i had a reason to wear/do/eat/use X!” i hear nana regretting never really using her china. and let me tell you a thing: spaghettios taste great when eaten from fine china.
I’ve seen this post making the rounds. Just wanted to add something to it that my sister-in-law once told me:
“A ‘special thing’ can make any occasion special.”
She told me this when I objected to her opening a really expensive bottle of champagne just to watch a movie. And you know, she was right. The champagne was amazing and while we always sit around and watch movies, that bottle made that night a really special occasion that I will always remember.
So, cut yourself a little slack and remember that an ordinary day can become special.
My mother has always had a habit of buying what she calls “love gifts”. Essentially she would buy me my favorite snack or take me to get iced coffee or buy me fuzzy socks something like that
Her reason for that was simply because she thought of us at work and wanted to get something as a way of saying “I was thinking about you and I love you”
Now as a kid I just took the presents but when I got older I felt a little bad
She didn’t always buy something small, sometimes it was some new makeup or video games or something else that was more than just a few bucks
When I told her “hey mom it’s sweet that you do this, but you don’t have to go do this all the time. You can just wait until a special day or a special occasion”
She just looked at me and said “but Samantha, this is a love gift, and I love you every day not just the special ones”
And ever since she said that I haven’t objected again
This is so important!!! I’ve done this my whole life but have been trying to break the HABIT.
By holding back these desirable things from yourself for a time that you feel worthy, you are adding to the intrusive thoughts that you are not good enough, that someone is more deserving than you. Wear your favorite shirt to the grocery store too, not just on your birthday or the first date with a guy who you’ve met once before. Wear your favorite shirt ESPECIALLY when you don’t “feel worthy”.
If a dog has a favorite toy it’s not going to ignore it and play with a different one simply to appeal to this notion that we have to earn happiness and enjoyment.
Yes there are “special days” but ultimately there are just “days” and you only have so many.
Tl; dr: Wear the clothes, eat the food, life’s short.
