@soberfucker indie roleplay blog for oc, sam walton. fucked up by morgan, 21+ irish lesbian. explores themes of queerness, addiction, kink, being a disappointment, passive suicidality, and searching for connection.
did you hear about the walton's son? drowned. so sad for that family. apparently he was drunk. this was years ago, mind you. yes, and then all that ugly business with the daughter. well, if you can call a tomboy like that a daughter. in and out of rehab. when they cut her off, she started counting cards and gambling! in casinos! that was a whole kerfuffle in itself. settled down, lately, of course - works for her father. now, all that said, she doesn't seem very suited to office life. i spoke to the mother - she said it was a pity. of course they love her, but at a certain point one has to take some personal responsibility.
sam walton is a butch lesbian oc (any pronouns) who struggled with addiction, and now with the malaise of recovery. --- board.
Scroll. Dread. Doom. Sleep. Wake. Sleep. Wake. Rush. Coffee. Smoke. Smoke. Smoke. Fuck. Work. Prep. Type. Talk. Nod. Stare. Type. Coffee. Smoke. Work. Talk. Bored. Smoke. Home. Zoom AA. Lost headphones. Don't drink. Don't party. Wank. Eat third-day leftovers. Scroll. Dread. Doom. Ache. Sleep. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It's a pale shadow of what once was. Everything after rehab is.
rules, verses & headcanon links under the cut.
pinterest board.
i. the shitty kid who happened to live. sam is a teenager. their brother dies, ambiguously of suicide. they are isolated, angsty, and bullied for being gay, which is weird because they literally aren't even gay, ok?
ii. party harder you fucking disgrace. oops, they are gay. they drop out of their advanced maths degree after years of losing themself in relationships, sex, and drugs. they're cut off. they learn to count cards in order to scrape together enough money to feed their addiction.
iii. the dull hum of sobriety and finance. sam has been in and out of rehab. they resolve to letting their father control their life, so as to keep themself clean. they are bare-knuckling life, and bored out of their mind.
au verses.
vampire au. turned either in the 2000s or the 2020s depending on what's more fun, sam was alone in the sweltering heights of addiction. they agreed to give blood in return for drugs to fuel their addiction. what they misunderstood was the method by which their blood would be taken. after impressing the vampire who fed from them, they were turned. from a hazy sleep, they awoke to a new sort of hunger. they have roamed the city since: lost, partying, and directionless. they roam cities, looking for connection.
xmen / mutant au. sam's power is telekinesis, powered by the strength of the emotions of those around them. when running low, they've developed nasty habits of trolling to spark emotional reactions. they have a more minor ability to convince people with their words, like hypnosis but with a very rare rate of working effectively (you as the writer of the would-be hypnotised muse get to decide if it works, and how effectively). their family are deeply ashamed of their abilities as a mutant and for many years sent them to institutions to 'cure' them of their defect. sam failed to prevent their brother's suicide, and their mother believes that sam could have with their abilities. sam is disillusioned with mutant empowerment movements, roiling in self-hatred.
hell au. sam is a prince of hell. they reign over disappointments, and wasted potential. easy to summon - extremely hard to dispel. they love people, and are crushed - as it must be, because it is their nature - every time when their actions lead to the worst for all those around them.
rules.
1 . hey. what's up. i'm morgan. my other, mainly inactive, blog is @dimitresca. i'm not mutuals exclusive. i like plotting and writing. i want to write and i want to mutually be enthusiastic about our muses and their connection.
2 . here's stuff i prefer: hardblock, not softblock. if you softblock me, i will adhd-ly not remember if i ever followed you and i will follow you again like an idiot. just spare us all the hassle and hard block me. comment, not like. if i answer an ask, i like when people leave comments on it. i try to do this for others. it's more fun than getting 1 like and never addressing that piece of writing again, which just feels demotivating to me. commentary, not silence. i love dash commentary posts. i love people reading my posts or sending me their posts to read. i am super into the idea of community and mutual fun in one anothers' writing.
3 . this blog will deal a lot with the themes of addiction, recovery, relapse, suicidal ideation, and self-loathing. i have a personal connection to this theme. please have some level of nuance and sophistication in your understanding of addiction: don't assume recovery is linear, don't use sam's addiction in a cheap plot (anything where sam is actively using will be a plot of its own, not a pitstop on the way to 'the real story'), sam is responsible for the ways they hurt others but not for the addiction itself. i often write w characters who sam has wronged due to their addiction - ic, this character is entitled to be angry, but ooc please show understanding for the position both characters are in. i don't like overdoses as a plotline. sam has overdosed once before and they have a plan to die by drug use one day. this is not a fully healed person -- that said, i will never write sam dying of drug use. it makes me too sad. in my heart, sam has to live with this addiction, but live they do and it is happy and full. one day. if this stuff triggers you, please leave.
4. sam is a flirtatious character. if your muse is a woman over forty who is a little mean, then they will have a crush, probably. this isn't me trying to force a ship. i will never ship w a male muse, don't ask. i love shipping but my favourite trope is writing exes - ex friends, or ex lovers. other themes that will arise are kink (sam is a service top with a praise kink, who loves to humiliate, degrade, feed/fatten, and call their lovers mommy), gender, queerphobia from their family, and wealth inequality (sam is a nepobaby with wealth, and uses this to try and 'fix' prior relationships they fucked up in.) again, if you can't deal w this then that's cool! god bless n good luck
headcanon links.
sam's life/death plan.
hopes/wishes & fears/worries.
regrets.
favourite memory of their father.
ok. i have a break in work. and i just finished my avatar tla rewatch. can anyone guess my fave who i am actively fighting off making a blog for?? it's the dumbest instinct ever.
ok. i have a break in work. and i just finished my avatar tla rewatch. can anyone guess my fave who i am actively fighting off making a blog for?? it's the dumbest instinct ever.
ok ihave been absent because work got crazy busy (my colleague has recently discovered she has stress induced psychosis and believes i tried to poison her to take over the musical) and i have to run my colleagues fuckin musical, and also if i cuddle my kittens at all i cry with love and joy and this takes hours. if you wanna chat and plot i am around but my brain space is limited for writing rn
What is a kink your muse has? How would they bring it up to their partner? @scyftan asked this meme.
ok i looked up a list for help. feedism (as a feeder) - they find it hot to see someone gain weight, to fret over it, to not be able to 'help' themselves around the kink. bondage. being the bull in a cuckholding situation (they like to fuck ur wives - the only thing better is if its some man's wife who is unhappy and having an affair oop). public sex, including having a partner wear a vibrator for them that they control. they enjoy consensual non-consent, and mommy/daddy play - sometimes they are a good boy. sometimes they are Daddy. they also enjoy bimbofication when it's gratifying to their partners (who are usually autistic overthinkers). overstimulation. they have a Serious fetish for milves - all aspects of a woman being maternal are attractive to them, and bring out their sadistic side. i think in general, sam is eager to please and would enjoy using another person's fetish to push them over the edge - for example, i think they don't really seek out breeding kink stuff, but they would enjoy breeding someone if that was that person's kink. many fetishes fall into this category.
mostly their sexuality revolves around key ideas: they ruin things, and they are tired of being Thee Fuck Up. they love to 'ruin' their partners, and they love to expose their partners as being just as needy for something as they have felt for substances. they love the challenge of corrupting someone, especially someone who isn't open about their sexuality. (and to be fair, i think sam is kind and is v flexible and understanding of what a relationship can look like). i think also that they delight in finding out someone else has a dependency (not on alcohol or drugs -- too triggering) and exploiting that. with feedism, they love women who're self-conscious abt their relationship to food. with kinks in general, they love to use the way people 'need' that gratification to control them, play with them, push them.
sam is a quick thinker, and reactive, not planned. they would bring it up at an opportune time, or not bring it up at all and see if they can arouse a partner by placing them in a scenario that feeds into one of their kinks. they'd pivot if the vibes were off and they're a strong, shameless communicator, but i think generally they are someone who views sex and kink as something to explore, to game, to 'win' in some ways. that's why the pleasure / erotic distress of their partner features so heavily in their tastes. they are fluid based on that element, but always they will have kinks of their own that they will bring up to a partner in a way that's gratifying and, ideally, erotic.
in their original context they began their relationship by realising their boss had a feedism fetish, and using that to tease her until they both hatefucked. n from there they have been absolutely gentle n adoring of their boss (cannot build enmity without also feeling deep affection and kindness n care).
Does your muse enjoy dirty talk? Do they like to do the talking or being dirty talked? @scyftan asked this meme.
sam is a dirty talker. they love to degrade. they get off on seeing their words cause someone else to get flustered. they love to speak dirty to authority figures, or people who otherwise they feel there is an element of risk with - someone as likely to smack em as to get turned on. they will go off on long paragraphs of filth just to rile or get a reaction, especially if their partner is repressed, respectable, or emotionally withholding. they love the challenge of getting someone to whine.
conversely, they can develop Weird Sexual Fixations if someone degrades them - if they're told they're worthless, they readily accept this outside of kink, as a jab at a sensitive spot. they're having fun, so rather than stop they just internalise it, get angry, and take an aggressive sadistic pleasure in being the Awful Thing that still Fucks You. i think if u like healthy emotional dynamics its a bad idea to degrade sam but if you like hate-fucking it's a great idea.
that said, dirty talk where it's just a partner being verbal about their sensations is a massive turn on for them. begging, in particular, gets them off. they are really drawn to people who seem steely and dominant, who're extremely submissive and needy in bed. the more audibly needy - especially if this character would never otherwise admit it - the better. again, it's the challenge of bringing it out of someone.
lastly, on the topic of praise: they like to give praise, but they're far less good at it than the inverse, affection through degradation. they love to be praised for what they do, but again, only if it feels like they've 'won' that praise from someone who otherwise doesn't praise easily. i think sam logs all the praise they get for the stuff they do in the bedroom and loves to discuss it openly at various intervals.
🎁 what platform i started roleplaying on @acidbodywoman
deep cut ....... IMVU. it was a dark time. you had to make your pixelated 3D ugly little avatar look so fuckable so that people would write with you. funny story, i am a dominatrix and i roleplayed for clients as lady dimitrescu briefly like 6 months before being like hey i should write that big boobie lady i hear shes a lesbian or smth
one time i was struggling to come up with new starters for my sweeney todd roleplay blog (all he did was sit and brood, nigh-catatonic) so i wrote he was on a london street for a padme amidala roleplayer. she was like 'i heard there are some murders in the area ☝️🤓! you seem suspicious!' and i wrote smth like 'sweeney thinks about killing her' and she replied with 'oops i'm afraid i must leave now!!!!'
roleplay has allowed me to meet my best friends, it's been a way for me to improve as a writer, and it's been really fun. i usually disappear from it, but i know i can return any time. that consistency of fun and dopamine is my favourite tbh. i feel like its allowed me to sharpen how articulate i am, i learned my kinks bc of tumblr lmao, i learned to code to do my early tumblr blogs, and i submitted a piece of a roleplay post to get my creative writing scholarship when i was seventeen lmaooo. this is a fun hobby and frankly i'm v grateful to tumblr for faciliating a hobby that defined my teen years. one of my Fears is that tumblr will shut down and i'll lose all those yaers of writing.
patron saint of lost faith
patron saint of leaving it by the roadside. patron saint of it slipping out of your fingers. patron saint of searching and searching. patron saint of yearning for it back. patron saint of scraping your fingers down to the bone trying to hold onto it. patron saint of losing it anyway. saint of lost faith. not the saint of getting it back.
tagged by: (i can't remember bc i left this so late but i think it was) @broughtdoom thanks !!
Farah raises an eyebrow at the request for a safe. How unusual. What had they brought with them that was so valuable? Or was Sam just so very untrusting of others that she wanted to keep private things inside? It is not, however, any of her business, so all she says is, "I can arrange for one to be delivered.
At the younger fairy's blunt (and accurate) assumption about the reasons for her hire, Farah presses her lips together into a thin line. "What I know," she replies, choosing her words carefully, "is that your father wants you to succeed. And I like to give people chances. It can be difficult to find one's place in this world. I hope Alfea can be yours."
Sam nods. "Cool." They think on this further -- saying cool seems too casual. Before they can stop themself, they blurt out: "Your honour." They pause. They realise they have to commit to the bit, and pretend it was a joke all along. They tip their head, flick a hand out in a flourish. Jesus Christ, they miss drugs. They miss doing weird shit and not having the capacity to think twice on it.
The conversation continues. This is a place of chances. Hopefully the school can be theirs. They repress a sigh, and nod as if grateful. They'd chased down salvation and second chances for decades. All it ever led to was the obliteration of a mind - theirs, or someone else's.
"He's going to ask you for a report on me." Their pose is casual to the point of almost laziness. Their eyes are sharp, ready, and piercing however. "It would be stupid not to report back to him. He's a wealthy donor." On this response, they will judge how truthful they'll be with her for their career here.
The grim, comradely shake that follows the gesture consists of Larissa's fingers wrapping around most of Sam's hand and sort of jiggling it. "Larissa," she says.
Now the operation, which will be as delicate as anything she's ever done. She starts by getting her hands to the lapels of her jacket, creating an inelegant circling of Sam's head with her elbows and chest. The wriggling that follows is not her finest moment, but it does begin to get her jacket down her arms, allowing her to drop her hands, reach behind herself, and tug it down with an arch of her back and a roll of her shoulders.
"You may want to eat that," she says to her companion. Their blink in response makes her add, "Your cotton candy." Arms behind herself, she works the sleeve off of one hand, pulls her glove back up toward her elbow, and repeats the procedure with the other hand. "It dissipates in humid air. You won't have any left." She gives a long exhale, gathering her jacket into one hand and leaning back, as much as she can, against the door behind her. It gives her, perhaps, a centimeter's room to breathe.
A sensation is growing more insistent. She glances down, but their bodies are pushed too close. “May I ask,” she says, “what is poking my thigh?”
"Sam." They say, trying to repress a smirk. They aren't trying to brag per se - it's a random scenario - but only they can snatch milven victory from the jaws of dull date defeat. Their eyes trace the white outline of the woman's - Larissa's - cheek, the way it intersects with black eyelashes. There's a perfume in the air so strong that they could swear wisps of pastel purple come off of her in waves.
They could be nice, and try not to think about their hips push against the wall by the woman while she shifts around. Delightfully, Sam is not nice, but a pervert of the highest order.
Larissa shimmies out of her coat, writhes to the last to get the fine jacket off. Sam stares respectfully at the floor. For all of four seconds. From underneath starry clumped eyelashes, they gawk at the chest pressed against almost their neck. Not to put too fine a point on things, but there's two fine points pebbling underneath the vintage, tailored dress she's got on.
You may want to eat that. Sam stares at Larissa, blinking and head vast with emptiness. Dink dink. Oh. "Oh." Nice. Impress her with your superior intellect, Sam. "It's not mine. I'm just holding it." They say, and before they can do the gentlemanly thing and offer it to their new... cupboard companion, they get distracted again.
"Oh." Sam says again, trying to pat themself down. They realise. "That's my cara-boner." There's a heavy silence, before they raise one finger: one moment! They squirm, not at all shy about having to push themself against the other - "hold on, I'm just gonna--" - before a metallic twisting and then clicking sound happens. Proudly, like a puppy retrieving a dead bird and dropping it at the feet of a human woman who looks exactly as impressed as Larissa does now, they hold up their carabiner, carefully handpainted with the word: CARABONER!
[BEN STEELE] cannot go to jail
[BEN STEELE] they'll pass me around like a pack of newports
[BEN STEELE] weird that you will freely admit your ex was a perv btw
its not a good idea for me to make another blog because i cannot maintain more than one, really, but if i were to make another blog it would be a man who is an old age pensioner and inspired by this song
