this is admittedly an older au but it still makes me laugh !!
Au where everyone is Mori’s ability. Almost everyone? No one can tell. Obv he starts with just Elise and then at some point Fukuzawa gets a call from Mori (fresh after the Yosano incident?? adoption?? transfer of custody??) and Fukuzawa is expecting like. just incoherent sobbing on the other end again, but instead Fukuzawa gets a very panicked Mori
“I CREATED A CHILD. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO..I was just thinking of how i could use some help around the clinic and then this kid appeared 😭😭😭😭”
“He cursed me for his existence. and then immediately tried to kill himself. he respawned. he’s giving me death glares. pls help.”
Fukuzawa hangs up but gets more calls such as: “IT DEVELOPED AN ABILITY.” and “IVE DECIDED TO BECOME THE BOSS OF THE PM”
at some point or another Dazai uses NLH on Mori and like. half the port mafia disappears. Dazai stays bc weird NLH paradox but like. Kouyou is gone. half of their men. a good amount of people are just GONE.
They decide to pretend it never happened <\3
Dazai uses sheer willpower and creates the Akutagawa’s himself. he’s very proud. Mori is not. He cries. At some point alda dies and Mori realizes that at some fucking point he made a friend for dazai but GOD HE WANTS THIS ONE Out of his hair so he just calls Fukuzawa like:
“One of my abilities died and he was attached to that one. I need a fucking break u get custody for the next couple years.”
Fukuzawa demands he respawn Oda but suddenly Dazai is already in his work and he wants to destroy things. Every PM x ADA meeting is Dazai looking at Mori like an angsty teen and Fukuzawa looking at him with a pleading look.
i explained this better last time tbh but here’s some important points:
During Cannibalism everyone is just. like, glitching. Tanazaki goes to stab Hirotsu and he just like. goes right thru him. and then hes solid again the next minute. everyone is just glitching like this 😭
No one knows if Yosano is his ability or not. Elise knows. She doesn’t tell anyone.
Every couple years they gather everyone in a room that’s (has screen time) important and Dazai shuts off VS. They then can usually figure out who is his ability or not.
Elise takes great pride in being the OLDEST out of them making her the big sister. no one humours her except dazai.
Kunikida, Atsushi, Aya, DOA, Kyouka, Chuuya + Verlaine, Flags, Etc… arent his ability. Mori honestly had a break down when he figured out his weird ability kids had like. real consciousness. and were like. real people in their own way when Dazai ranted about how much he loved Chuuya for six hours.
Theres prob more i’m forgetting tbh but this is one of my favs :3
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