Hello from your local AuDHD switch verse bisexual. I'm on this corner of the internet to have fun and spiral into whatever current hyperfixation has me by the throat.
Minors, please don't interact. My blog is for people 18+. I'm a big advocate for sex education and curiosity, and my particular Tumblr page just isn't the space for that. If you're looking for an age appropriate resource, I highly recommend checking out Scarleteen. It's a wonderful site dedicated to providing medically accurate and queer inclusive information about relationships, sex, identity, and so on.
My asks and messages are open. Wanna be friends??? Feel free to message me any timmmmme. If you’re looking to be flirty, please be respectful. Opening with nudes or demanding nudes or sexting is just not the move, okay? I've been involved in the kink community for many years and have met so many wonderful people, so my tolerance is very low for people who hide behind kink as an excuse to be shitty. Also, I have a queue going, so posts appearing doesn’t mean I’m actually online.
Please note I’m wary of porn blogs with no other content, and I hear the Jaws theme song in my head whenever I get one word messages in my inbox because those “hey” or “hi” openers tends to escalate quickly without my consent. Again, be chill. If I get a weird vibe at all, the block button and I are besties.
Be a kind person, okay? Transphobes, terfs, swerfs, antifeminists, racists, ableists, fatphobes, bigoted jerks DNI. Honestly, get well soon and cut that shit out.
If I ever accidentally interact with something I shouldn’t or tag something in a way that doesn’t feel good, please let me know so I can edit or delete immediately. I respect you.
🌶️ spicy info under the cut 🌶️
Being a verse switch is so fun, okay? I'm attracted to people regardless of gender, and it's just so fun to make people feel good.
I use the traffic light system (💚💛🛑) for consent check-ins. Here is my Yes/No list for both giving and receiving unless otherwise specified:
Yes - praise/worship, puppy play, edging/denial, overstimulation, biting/marking, puppy play, teratophilia rp, impact play (just not face slapping/hitting), gfd, daddy/mommy kink (just no age play or incest rp), strap play / pegging, breeding kink
I think it’s also worth mentioning that there are types of play that I’m happy to engage in even if I’m not personally turned on by them. Examples include foot fetish / nylon fetish play and tickling (as long as I’m not the one getting tickled; that’s a hard no for me)
Sometimes - I don’t really post about any of these on this blog, and if I do, I will be sure to tag those posts. I sometimes enjoy objectification, degradation, humiliation, light CNC, helping a partner enjoy some light CBT, e-stim, watersports (especially during primal/possessive play)
No thanks - Heavy CNC that involves genuine fear play, scat, age play, race play, pro-ED anything, misgendering/detrans, vore, gore (some blood is okay, but gore makes me feel faint), intox/chem, permanent harm/scarring, incest rp
Obvious no (and instant report and block) to actual assault or endangering anyone who can’t consent (e.g. anything to do with minors, bestiality, and so on)
This should go without saying, but if you have a partner / partners who will be hurt by you playing with someone else, please don’t flirt or try to play with me. I’m only down to play with folks engaging in ENM or single folks, okay? Be nice to your partner(s).
Also, since this has been coming up in my asks and dms quite a bit, I’m not looking for a sugar situation. I will just delete the ask/message 🤷♀️ Thanks!
How do you use dental dams without killing the mood?
Someone asked us:
Isn’t using a dental dam really really unsexy? Like how even does that work..?
I’m so jazzed you asked this, because it means I get to talk about one of my favorite subjects ever: sexy safer sex! And yes, sexy safer sex is a real thing that is totally possible. BELIEVE IT!
Dental dams are less complicated to use than many people realize: all you do is lay them over a vulva and/or anus, and use your mouth to stimulate your partner through the material. They don’t need to be stretched taut or pressed tight against the skin, just gently held in place. (Some find it’s easier if the recipient holds the dam so the giver’s hands are free to roam.) Dams may even cling to the body on their own because of vaginal moisture or static.
Dental dams prevent skin-to-skin contact during oral sex, which can spread STDs like herpes. They also prevent contact with vaginal fluids, which can spread STDs like gonorrhea. And they offer protection against the specific health risks of oral-to-anal sex.
I’ll spare you my “safer sex IS sexy because you can’t have good time while worrying about STDs” lecture, and get right to the good stuff: how can we ACTUALLY make using dental dams and other safer sex materials hot? Here are some tried-and-true tips from sex educators:
Dude, USE THEM. Use them all the time. The more you use safer sex materials, the more normal (and sexy) they seem. Think about it: if you bust out a dental dam or roll a condom on EVERY time you get down, those things start to become a natural part of sex — like other foreplay stuff such as kissing — and seem pretty damn sexy.
Stay positive. When you look at a condom or dam, stop thinking “ughhhh, I have to use this thing,” and start thinking “oh snap, I’m gonna have sex. SCORE!” Barriers mean you’re getting sweet action, worry-free.
Be creative! If the act of prepping and applying a barrier (laying a dam down or rolling on a condom) kind of kills the moment, come up with ways to keep the fire going. And having the barrier close by and ready to go can help keep the transition seamless AND sexy.
Obviously using condoms and dental dams feels slightly different than not using anything. But different doesn’t necessarily mean “worse.” I have a friend who uses dental dams as a part of foreplay because she prefers the sensation of being stimulated through latex. Experiment with the variety of feelings different materials can provide. And remember: you can use cut-open condoms and plastic wrap as dental dams, too.
Dental dams can make intimacy more spontaneous and adventurous for folks who are worried about STDs and/or the health risks of oral-to-anal contact.
Lube! Adding extra water-based or silicone lubricant is a surefire way to make any safer-sex barrier feel better. A little lube on the vulva side of the dam can increase sensation for the recipient, and you can even add flavored lube to the other side for a tasty treat.
As with condoms, dams only kill the mood if you let them. If you and your partner are into each other, having a great time, and keeping things spicy and positive, a little square of latex shouldn’t be the kryptonite that takes your sexy party down.
Frothing at the mouth every time I see a sex ed resource that says "use condoms" without any further elaboration. "Condoms prevent STIs and pregnancy in the vast majority of cases when used correctly" but then they don't talk about what correctly IS
Correct use of a condom means
Using the right size, because if it's too big it can slide off or leak and if it's too small it can break or come off. Condoms usually come in 5 sizes, I'm sure you could find others outside of that as well but in ten years of sex work I found they covered everyone
Using lube, even if you think you don't need it. With the exception of oral sex, condoms should always be used with lube, 100% of the time. Most important lube should be applied to the outside but a drop in the tip of the condom before putting it in is also a good idea
Being mindful that latex is prone to wearing out, being damaged by heat etc. Condoms should be kept somewhere cool, not folded in wallets or sat on in back pockets and should be changed between activities and after about 15 minutes of any vigorous activity. Ask me how I know (a condom snapped on my leg when a client was pulling out, because I didn't change it when I should have)
The penetrative partner should hold the base of the condom when they pull out, and should do so immediately after they ejaculate so the condom doesn't leak or come off as the penis gets flaccid
Bonus: a lot of people think hand stuff can't transmit STIs. Wrong! If you give your partner a handjob and then touch yourself you can get HPV, herpes (low risk), and infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea
This isn't meant to be stressful, and the most common STIs are the most treatable - and often curable - but getting gonorrhea in your eyes after a facial still extremely sucks and yet no one talks about the fact that any mucous membrane can be effected, not just your genitals (yes this includes your mouth and throat)
In ten years of doing sex work where I saw 10 clients a day most of the time I've had 4 condom fails ever. One was what I mentioned above when it snapped on my leg, one was a client on top of me didn't get off fast enough after he finished and the condom came off, and the other two were a Glyde brand magnum that was inexplicably twice the thickness of a regular condom and didn't stay put on anyone so I suggest just avoiding Glyde entirely (their water based lubes also stain fyi). With all other brands correct use = extremely safe
Oil-based lube and latex condoms are also incompatible! Condoms can and should be used on toys.
I'd normally tag nsfw but I never got sex ed in school or at home. Even if you yourself don't need to use this information, it's still good in general to know, whether that be for fiction writing or advice to a friend or just to have in your back pocket (which is apparently hopefully not where you're keeping the condoms). The more you know!
