𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — beomgyu x fem reader ( 𝗈 / 𝗌 )
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 — fluff, angst, friends to lovers, smut, slice of life, adult life.
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 — beomgyu needs a date to go to his ex’s wedding. his great idea was to mak you part of his plan and be his stunt girlfriend for the night. or at least that was you thought.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — alcohol consumption, swearing, really bad smut (drunk sex, fem. oral receiving, slight degradation? orgasm denial? idk. is just bad, i'm sorry lmfao don't read this)
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 — 15,536 (divided in three parts, ofc)
based on 'love affair’ by umi.
𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞
“My ex is marrying your ex.” You said in a low voice, making sure none of the people that were walking by heard you.
“What?” He said, you smiled at him and tried to walk to one of the corners where people weren't around. “What you said?”
“My ex. Is marrying. Her.” You told him, and he opened his mouth surprised. “Now that's a turn of events.”
“When did you two guys break up?”
“Before we started college.” You replied, seeing the whole room and noticing how he was greeting the guests over, along with his parents and in-laws.
“It wasn’t an ugly break-up, was it?”
“No, it was… it was okay.”
“So my ex and your ex.” Beomgyu said, and then laughed. “They look good together.”
“I agree.” You nodded. “Go and see her, I will catch you later.”
“You sure?” He asked you, worried, you nodded and pushed him a bit. “I will go and save us some seats.”
“Fine, call me if something happens.”
“You too.”
Beomgyu walked his way to the room where you can meet the bride before the ceremony. You were trying to find your place and get it together. Everything happens for a reason. You were repeating for yourself.
It wasn’t an ugly break-up. But it was a hurtful one. Probably one you couldn’t recover from, and probably the reason why you couldn’t open up to love someone else. Being at his wedding, without even knowing (or avoiding to know) what happened to him, was truly a shock for you.
“Excuse me… I- I knew it was you.” He said, with a nervous smile. You weren’t shocked at all. You worked on yourself to bring a smile to him. He opened his arms, hoping for you to give him a hug. But in fact, you did, it wasn’t a long hug, it was a long-time-no-see hug. “Wow, I didn’t expect to see you today.”
“Oh, yeah, I wasn’t supposed to come.” You said and laughed nervously. “I came here as a plus one. But I didn’t know who was getting married… So it's a total coincidence.”
“Right.” He said, and smiled. “But I am really glad to see you again, (Y/n).”
“I’m glad to say the same, Taehyun.” You said, even though you weren’t sincere at all. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” He said, with a smile. “And thank you for coming.”
“Of course.” You nodded, giving a few taps on his shoulder, walking yourself into the venue. “See you around.”
“Sure.”
You felt how your knees were starting to shake a bit. It wasn’t, indeed, your best day at all. You drank all the champagne in just one sip and took advantage of the waiter that was going around with empty glassware to give him your cup.
“He’s still the same…” You mumbled, and just walked in to find good sits or most likely the least noticeable at the back.
Kang Taehyun, was indeed your first love. He was just the perfect man and also the one for you. You even dreamed about marrying one day and having a family with him. The only issue was that you didn’t know how to keep him. You were really absorbed in getting into college, enough to not take care of your relationship or even pay him a bit of attention. But that wasn’t the reason for the break-up.
“Hey.” Beomgyu said, taking a seat next to you. “You spoke with him?”
“A few words.” You mentioned and brought a small smile. “How did it go with her?”
“Well, it was awkward at first. But I wished her the best.” Beomgyu said and nodded. “She asked if I came here with you.”
“With me?” You asked, frowning confused.
“I told you, even now she thinks that you have feelings for me.” He said in a low tone. “But I said it was right, so you better act like you are.”
“God.” You closed your eyes for a bit.
“You look sad, and he looks like a total loser. You were the one who broke up with him, right?.” He asked, trying to cheer you up.
“No, he did.”
“Why would he?”
“Because I’m a piece of shit.” You told him and smiled. “And he is still the biggest person for not kicking me out.”
“Damn.” Beomgyu said, trying to comprehend what was going on. “We can leave if you want.”
“We don’t have to.” You told him and smiled a bit. “It’s okay, I already spoke with him, and I haven’t apologized yet. So let’s stay until the ceremony is over.”
“Sure.” Beomgyu said, putting his hand over yours and pressing them tightly. “I love you, remember that.”
“Right.” You said and nodded.
Getting distracted by how the people were all getting seated and as well everyone at the aisle was getting ready. The mc was indicating everyone to sit down as well for the groomsmen and bridesmaids to be ready to start. It didn’t last fully 10 minutes, and the band that was at one side of the stage started playing.
You recognized that melody almost immediately. It was Taehyun’s favorite song. The first to take a walk was Taehyun and a lady who seems to be his mother-in-law, followed by the maid of honor.
“He doesn’t seem like a jerk.” Beomgyu said, in a whisper close to your ear. You kicked him with your elbow on his ribs.
“He isn’t.” You said, seeing how all the bridesmaids were walking in with the groomsmen. You recognized only a few of them. They were Taehyun’s high school and childhood friends. You smiled a bit, it was like nothing had changed, and it was only you the one who left, forever.
The music slowly stopped. Giving a clear message that the bride was about to enter. Everyone stood up, waiting for her to come in. You kept your head looking in front, seeing how big Taehyun was smiling, to the point that he looked down a few times. It was obvious. He is excited and happy.
You looked on your side, not bearing it anymore. Getting a full look at the bride. She was as beautiful as you remember. Her dress suited her perfection, and in an obvious look, she was in love.
“She is… totally beautiful.” You mumbled, Beomgyu looked at you and gave you a small nod.
“I know.”
We were instructed by the pastor in this case, to take a seat. Starting with his speech meanwhile, the couple was standing. You stopped paying attention, to the point that you just were looking at a small point, you didn't know how much time you were in that way, but it was Beomgyu who noticed and gave you a pinch, taking you back to reality.
“Are you okay?” He asked you, in a low voice.
“I am.” You said, nodding.
“(Y/n)...” He sighed. You didn’t answer, and kept looking in front and trying to pay attention to what was going on. Or it was until you saw Taehyun getting a paper out of his pocket. He was going to say his vows.
“I will go to the bathroom.” You said, standing up. Taking your purse with you and walking away from the ceremony. No one noticed or was aware of your existence, something that you were glad of.
It wasn’t hard to find the bathroom, and you expected to be there at least until the ceremony was over. You felt stupid, and at the same time hurt. To the point that it made no sense to you. Going to the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror, pressing your lips together and trying your best to not cry.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” You said to yourself. “You never looked for him back. He has every right to move on. You should do it too.”
Saying those words to yourself was very hard. You were not ready to face this situation, ever. But it was supposed to happen. The only thing you need to do is face it.
You washed your hands, for no reason. Being ready to be back to the ceremony, you got out of the bathroom. Unaware that Beomgyu was outside, waiting by the wall. He looked at you, worried, and you just gave him a small smile.
“Talk to me.” He asked, and you nodded.
“He is my first love.” You confessed. “And I am still not over it.” You tried to count with your fingers. “And I am pathetic because it was like 7 years ago and I am still in the past.”
“I’m not in a position to give you any advice. Like, I brought you here to pretend to be my girlfriend, because my ex destroyed my heart.” He said, making you laugh. “We are both pathetic, then.”
“I think we are here for closure.”
“I think so too.”
“You want to go back or you’d rather wait here until it's all over.”
“We can go back.”
“Right, but before that…” Stopping you, he walked in your direction and put himself in front of you. You looked at him, confused but Beomgyu just got close enough to give you a hug.
“Why are you…” You said but stayed quiet. Starting to relax yourself a bit, and just accept the hug. Putting your arms around his body, you just pressed your face against his chest. “Thank you.”
“Now we can go.” He said smiling, touching your shoulder lightly, and walking ahead. You both went again to the ceremony.
Trying to pass unnoticed, you were watching the mood of the ceremony. They had both read their vows already and were listening to the words on behalf of the officiant. Not realizing in time that Beomgyu was holding your hand as he guided you to the seats.
Already seated, you were able to let go of his hand with the excuse of looking for something inside your bag, which actually boiled down to your phone and seeing your notifications. Looking up again, and feeling Beomgyu's gaze on you.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He said, giving a small smile and looking to the front. Paying attention to the wedding, without saying a word. You started asking yourself how he was feeling right now.
His ex-girlfriend is marrying someone else right now. And she’s not only her ex, is the woman who shattered his heart. You by yourself had your reasons and basically tried your best to not cry it out in the bathroom.
We were now standing up, looking at how the groom and bride were about to make it real.
“Kang Taehyun, do you take Oh Yeonhwa as your bride…” Your thoughts were clearly louder than the words from the officiant.
“I do.” Taehyun said with the happiest smile he could ever show. Fuck. Biting your lip you looked a different way.
Beomgyu kicked your ribs with his elbow, not strong enough to make you lose air, but enough for you to notice him. He was almost laughing at you, You looked at him confused and started to get mad.
“I now pronounce you, husband and wife.” He said, closing his bible and looking at them with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride.”
Taehyun responded as a command, grabbing her waist and as well she was holding his cheek softly. Everyone started clapping, even us. Watching them now walk out of the ceremony holding hands and greeting everyone with smiles.
“Crazy how that could be one of us.” Beomgyu said, you nodded.
“They indeed look good together, and she’s prettier than I remember her.” You said as she passed by your row, she looked directly at you without breaking character. But you couldn’t feel her look like a charming one. “Yeah, she hates me.”
“You are her husband’s ex, and her ex’s girlfriend. I would too.” Beomgyu whispered at you, and tried to not laugh. You rolled your eyes, as you stomped on his foot. “Fuck.”
“I literally saw a cockroach walking by your foot.” You said, taking your purse. “Sorry honey.”
You both followed the mc instructions to get into the reception, which was in a beautiful garden, everything was decorated prettily and as well seemed very expensive. The table designated to Beomgyu and his companion was almost close to the newlyweds' table, with all her old classmates.
Beomgyu left you all alone as soon as he saw them. Most of them left the city or were already married and with kids, or busy with their own projects. You understood his excitement, you were exactly like him. At the same time, it scares you the idea of being left behind or being out of place.
“Soobin, I guess you remember (Y/n).” He said, taking your arm and almost dragging you to the group. You hold the glass of wine with your whole life.
“Isn’t she the girl you moved in with? At the school home?” He asked, confused. Beomgyu nodded and smiled, you smiled as well. “Damn..” The boy said with a grim, meanwhile he put his hand in front. “Hello, my name is Soobin.”
“Nice to meet you.” You said, not knowing if it really was. He smiled back at you and pointed at Beomgyu.
“When did he start to make a move on you?” He asked, out of the blue. You were surprised and speechless, what you were supposed to say.
“Ignore him.” Beomgyu said, shaking his head.
“Was it before he broke up with Yeonhwa or after?” His question was very specific, you didn’t know what to say.
“We started dating years later than that, so I am not sure what you are saying.” You said, Soobin nodded and looked back at Beomgyu. “Is something going on?”
“Nothing.” Soobin said and smiled back at you. “Maybe we misunderstood the situation.”
“Choi Soobin!” Someone screamed, making that the perfect opportunity for you both to escape from him. You grabbed Beomgyu’s jacket with you to one of the party corners.
“What the fuck?” You screamed in a whisper.
“Look, everyone thinks that I chased you before my break up and making that the reason for what happened.” He said, like it was nothing. “Yeonhwa made sure to build up her side of the story so, yeah…”
“So I am the whore?” You pointed at yourself, speechless. “And you didn’t fucking denied it?”
“I mean, we are here now…”
“That doesn’t make it any better, Beomgyu.” You said, getting mad. “It’s fucking embarrassing. I am here doing you a favor, but it is fucking bullshit.”
“No, (Y/n), is not like that…”
“Of course it is!” You exclaimed. “Everyone thinks that I stole you from her. She dumped you and blamed me! She married my first love and he probably thinks that way about me too!”
“(Y/n)”
“No, I don’t want to hear a fucking thing from you.” You said, pointing at him with your index finger. “Stay quiet just like you were this whole time, and don’t fucking talk to me.”
You walked away as you finished talking, leaving your glass of wine with one of the waiters. You started walking back to the building, trying to find a rest area where you could sit down and breathe at peace.
You opened one of the doors and walked in, after you went inside, you looked up and saw Yeonhwa getting ready with her party dress.
“I’m sorry, I will leave now.” You said, grabbing the doorknob.
“No, stay.” She said, smiling at me. “Help me zip this up. You can leave now.” She ordered the stylist who was accompanying her. “Thanks.”
As soon as she left the door, you took a deep breath. Taking enough courage to get close, hoping she won’t attack you right there.
“Taehyun told me.” She said, meanwhile you were getting her dress closed. You stopped everything, including breathing. “Believe me, I was surprised.”
“I had no idea that you and him were getting married. I promise.” You said Yeonhwa tried to look into your eyes by looking in the mirror.
“It’s fine. He was happy to see you.” She said and turned around and was in front of you. “Dating my ex and used to date my husband, that’s kinda crazy.” She said, trying to not laugh. “Don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I think it goes both ways.” You said, trying to play it cool.
“You know, Beomgyu didn’t stop a moment talking about you. I already knew he liked you since the first time he saw you.” She said walking to the table where a glass of wine was sitting, taking a sip from it.
“What?”
“Yes, he was all Oh, I am with (Y/n), we are making a project together. Or, I can’t talk, I’m at the library with (Y/n).” She said, imitating Beomgyu’s voice. “Beomgyu is so honest, to the point that he told me the times that he slept at your room doing homework.”
You just didn’t know what to say at that moment.
“I couldn’t stand it anymore, I was so mad that I warned him that if he didn't get distant from you I would break up with him.” She remembered and looked at you. “But that was worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“During that time, he was… different. He seemed like the most unhappy man in the world.” She said and took a deep breath. “To the point that I felt that I was forcing him to be with me.”
“That’s why you… broke up with him?”
“Yeah, I literally couldn’t stand it.” She said and laughed. “I hate to say it, but the moment he met you he stopped liking me.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not?” She asked, confused. “You both are dating now.”
“We are not.” You confessed to her. “After you broke up with him, he tried dating multiple times and failed consecutively. I am here like his stunt couple.”
“You’re lying.” She said, trying to not laugh. But I started laughing at myself. “Girl, no way.”
“I’m dead serious.”
“Shit.” She said, in denial. “Take my glass of wine, I will get another one.” She said, passing you the glass and shaking her head. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, there’s no girl who is prettier than you, who won't complain at him or whatever he said to you when you dumped him.” You said, finishing the wine from the glass.
You saw Yeonhwa serving her glass and laughing.
“He told you that, but not the whole conversation.” She said, not believing it. “Of course, it’s him.”
“What’s the whole conversation?”
“I asked him if he was going to ask you out, and he said that the girl that he was describing was you.”
“What?”
That was when literally all the noises from outside went silent. You were not understanding what she was saying, it didn’t make sense.
“Yeah, when I saw him before I asked him if he started dating you and he said Yes, 4 years together. And I was like, Damn, he kept his promise at least.” She said and drank from her glass. “So you both are not dating for real?”
“God, no.”
“He truly likes you.” Yeonhwa said, you shook your head. “Why are you saying no? It’s true.”
“Beomgyu doesn’t like me, it is not possible.”
“Why not?” She asked, confused. “You like him too.”
“What? I don’t like him!” You exclaimed, she raised one of her eyebrows in a comic way and laughed. She nodded, not believing it. “I don’t..”
“Sure.” She said and walked to the mirror, fixing her hair and checking her makeup. “Just letting you know that I broke up with him because of you.”
“It was your decision.”
“Of course it was, because he liked you to the point that everyone knew it, I knew it and I was denying it.” She said with frustration. “I cried for weeks, because he was probably trying to make a move on you. I was hoping, for weeks, that he called me or texted me, begging me to be back with him. And I was ready to accept him back.” She looked at you with a smile. “He never did.”
You looked at her without saying a word.
“I know you are having trouble, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on right now.” She said in a low voice. “But the way you looked at him, back and now, is not from someone who only sees him as a friend.”
“What?”
“You like him too. You are just punishing yourself for what you did to Taehyun.” She said, That felt like a punch. “And it’s fine, but it was years ago. He doesn’t resent you for that.”
You looked in a different way, trying to not look at her or start crying on the spot. You felt your face really hot, and your eyes started to irritate.
“I know I’m acting like a bitch, but you really need to hear it.” Yeonhwa said, putting her hand on your shoulder. “I’m his wife, after all.”
“Shit, I just don’t know what to say.” You said, laughing at yourself noticing the tears sliding down your cheeks. Yeonhwa took a few napkins and handed them to you. “I hated myself for what I did to him for years… To the point that I never allowed myself to like someone else.”
“God, don’t cry, you look so pretty.” Yeonhwa said, wiping the tears from my face trying to not ruin my makeup. “I met Taehyun on a blind date. We talked about our past loves. He doesn’t hate you, okay?”
“He doesn’t?”
“Yes, but I did.” She said and laughed. “His older brother was in a terrible accident while serving and you were more worried about your exam. You were not paying attention to him, he was suffering a lot, and you were not there.”
You nodded, and she smiled at you. Trying to comfort you. And you were just crying like a whole baby.
“He said it himself, he doesn’t blame you or hates you.” She said, and the calmest voice ever. “His exact words were: She is having a hard time everyday, she needs it more than anyone.” Yeonhwa sighed. “I’m telling you, he is the most selfless person I have ever met.”
You laughed, taking the napkin from his hand.
“I’m really glad he found someone like you.” You said, being totally honest. “I’ve never seen him smile like that, ever.”
“You think?” She asked, smiling as well. “I literally forgot about Beomgyu when I saw him smile as well, so I believe you.”
You both laughed, like you were old friends.
“What do you think about Beomgyu?” She asked you, looking at the wine from her glass.
“I need to figure it out, I’m just mad at him right now.” You said, she looked at you confused. “Everyone thinks I stole you from him and it’s very annoying to be looked down on like a whore.”
“No one looks at you like a whore, he is a whore.” She said and frowned. “He was the one who was in love with someone else while being in a relationship. And our town is really small so everyone knows.”
“God.”
“Sorry.” She said. “Look, I don’t know if you knew, but I have a wedding to attend.”
“Fuck, right.” You said. “We have like… a long time here. Taehyun would start thinking you flew away.”
“I don’t think so, we are making this wedding to pretend.” She said smiling. “This is our secret, okay?”
“What?” You asked surprised. “You guys were married?”
“A year ago, secretly.” She said proudly of herself. “We married the first day we moved in together. A year later his mom saw my ring and went all crazy and well, we had to prepare the wedding.”
“That’s so crazy.” You told her.
“I know.” She said and laughed.
“You are really lucky.”
“You are too, just give him a chance, you won’t regret it.”
You didn’t say a word right after. It was just a lot to process. On the top of your head, you wouldn’t think that Beomgyu would like you or see you as more than a friend. But you weren’t so sure anymore, Yeonhwa was a lawyer, so she wouldn’t make up that for nothing –or at least it was something that you wanted to believe–, you needed to confirm that yourself, or at least look at it in a different way.
You and Yeonhwa got out of that room, getting surprised by Beomgyu who was walking around the area looking very worried. He stopped walking to stand up, looking relieved.
“God, I thought you'd left.” He said putting his hand on his chest.
“You are a lucky one because she was almost leaving.” Yeonhwa said, walking in front and smiling at him, looking back and winking at you.
“You are so funny.” Beomgyu said with sarcasm.
“Fuck off.” She replied back to him with a smile and got herself again to her party.
Leaving you and Beomgyu alone. You looked at your hands and then looked back at Beomgyu, who never stopped looking at you.
“You were right.” He said. “And I am sorry. I honestly didn’t think about you as I should and it was very inconsiderate. You have every right to be mad at me, but I don’t want to stop talking to you.”
“Why?”
“You are my best friend.” He replied faster than you expected. You laughed, don’t wanting to believe it was true. “What? Why are you laughing?”
“Nothing, is just… nah, forget it.” You said. It was just not possible. “Apology accepted, let’s go back to the party.”
Saying that you started walking back to the garden, Beomgyu stopped you by grabbing your waist. You almost froze the moment he did that, you looked back and he just took a deep breath.
“I know you know.” He said, looking you in the eyes. “I mean, you must know by now.”
“What do I know?” You asked, nervous about his answer. He took a few steps to be close to you, he never let go of your waist and was standing up in front of you, he never broke eye contact.
“Are you going to make me say it?” He asked, showing his smile.
“I need to hear it from you.” You said, in a low tone. Or loud enough for him to hear. “Or else I won’t believe it.”
“I’d rather show you.” He said, not giving you time to process it.
He took your chin up and leaned over you to give you a kiss on the lips. You immediately closed your eyes, feeling an electric shock going all over your body. You were not even able to make a proper reaction to it at first, but it wasn’t until he separated himself from you.
“Did that clear it out?” He asked, still not letting you go.
“Not really.” You said this time you wanted to blame all the wine you had on your blood system. “Show me again.”
Beomgyu was smiling, like that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He pressed his lips against yours quickly and in a rougher way, to the point that you let out a small groan. You put your hands around his neck, meanwhile, he was kissing you desperately. Like this was the moment he was waiting for his whole life.
But on your side, you were confused. Or still want a direct answer.
“Why are we kissing?” You asked, in the middle of the kiss. He stopped and looked at you, you noticed how his lips were getting a bit pink from your lipstick. He was looking at you without knowing. “We are friends.”
“Fuck. You are annoying.” He said, and you laughed. “I’m fucking in love with you, I like you. Since forever. Damn.”
“What kind of confession is that?” You said, laughing.
“You are fucking drunk by now.” Beomgyu exclaimed.
“I am not drunk. I’m just tipsy.” You said back. “I just need to get this clear before I say or do something stupid.”
“I don’t want an answer from you now.” He said, fixing your hair behind your ear. “Take your time.”
“Oh.” You said, surprised by that. “Okay, that was easy.”
“Right? I’m so considerate.”
You both kept standing in the same position you were in before. Just staring at each other, you couldn’t help but smile and he copied you right after. He got closer to you, you took the advantage to be the one who leaned on for the kiss. That apparently took him by surprise, but he was all in for it. This time it started softer and it quickly became rough and needy.
Beomgyu’s hands were now on your hips, your knees almost bent over his thighs. Your dress and his suit were rubbing against each other, he groaned into your mouth, that was all because of the attempt of your silly hand close to his crotch. The kiss got pretty intense, Beomgyu started kissing your neck to recover some air, biting your skin and making sure to get a sound of your mouth.
“We need to get out of here.” He said, his voice was raspy and deep. His eyes were full of lust, but you won’t deny it as well that you didn’t want it either.
“Let’s leave.” You said, nodding. He nodded back.
“Yeah, let’s leave… now.”
“Should we say goodbye?“
“To our exes?” He asked, confused, you laughed at his reaction. “They can fuck themselves, and they will so, let’s go.”
He grabbed your hand and walked with you out of the place. Getting his car keys out of his pocket and unlocking it right away, he opened the car door for you and closed the door, he got in the car as well.
𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 tag list open
TAG LIST ! @yuakagi @strawbrinkofdeath @kentoism @im-ako
"math sucks," your partner in desk!Yangyang. You just laughed at his muttering and indignation, continuing to solve one of the equations set by the teacher
[9:04pm] it has long been dark outside, and tonight you gave up all your business and decided to spend time in the arms of your boyfriend!hendery. every time you tell him that you are done for the day, he runs up like a joyful puppy and entices you into his arms, so that all the stress of the day goes away.
History was never an easy subject, especially when it had to be given as an oral examination at the end of the year, and the teacher was clearly not going to indulge, on the contrary, he waited for the moment when he could pick on you.
Once more you groaned and dropped your head on the table, you once again surrendered, knowing that you will not pass, because there was too much material.
In this moment Beomgyu walked into the room, he was clearly not happy with the way you looked.
"Its history again?" he asked, breaking the silence by the doorjamb.
"Yep, I'm definitely not passing it in," you answered in a tired voice, as if you were about to cry.
"Babe what are you thinking? I'm sure you can do it, you try so hard, it's impossible not to pass." He said soothingly, slowly coming closer, and then putting his hand on your shoulder, he continued: "But I think you should rest now, I don't think that in this condition you will be able to remember anything. Maybe I'll make you some hot chocolate and then we'll lie down on the bed and cuddle?" he said, smiling like a cat.
"I can't," you said.
"Please," he murmured with puppy dog eyes.
Well, how can you resist?
"Ohh okay, you talked me into it," you finally agreed, watching his smile stretch to his ears. " Wait a minute, I'll make you the most delicious hot chocolate you've ever had," he said with a giggle as he ran away.
warnings ; implied self-harm at one part, mention of scars, but nothing graphic depicted !
a/n ; this is part of my idols as taylor swift song series ! let me know who and what song i should do next ! <33
— not proofread!
❝ i knew you, dancin' in your levi's, drunk under a streetlight, i knew you, hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better ❞
the two of you were inseparable, the kind of relationship everybody wanted, the kind people dreamt about being lucky enough to have someday. it was the kind of young love depicted in young adult movies, the kind of love that felt like summer and left you with a taste of nostalgia. the type of love so pure and exciting, bound to break your heart, but all so worth it.
❝ and when i felt like an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite ❞
he always had a way of making you feel so special. the look in his eyes so full of love, it was unmistakable. you had never had many friends, that lonely feeling consuming you and following you around like a shadow, day by day. until him, you had never known closeness, you had never been accepted for all of you, the beautiful and the ugly. the way he would throw his head back laughing at a simple joke of yours, the way he would pull you in for a hug whenever his eyes landed on you, it was all a dream come true.
❝ i knew you playing hide and seek and giving me your weekends, i knew you heartbeat on the high rise, once in 20 lifetimes ❞
the two of you spent all your free time together, shutting out the world surrounding you. he made you feel unstoppable; like you could do anything. he was the feeling of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. he was your racing heart while you ran from the cops. he was pure adrenaline, addicting and lovely until the last second it lingered in your veins. you found yourself craving him, always needing to be in his presence to feel whole.
❝ to kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed, you drew stars around my scars and now i'm bleeding ❞
he always adored every inch of you. it was a completely new and overwhelming feeling; being loved so much it hurt. he used to doodle on your scarred arms and thighs, just to show you that your body was beautiful, despite all of the pain displayed on your soft flesh. to him, your body was an art piece, stunning and unique, and it was all for him.
❝ cause i knew you, leaving on the last train, marked me like a blood stain, i knew you, tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy❞
all of the memories of him seemed so far away now, almost as if they never happened; like he wasn't real. he had left with no real goodbye. you had heard from others that he had departed on the last train out of town, leaving you alone once again. the days seemed to drag on without him; almost like a withdrawal, you were addicted and needed to relearn life without him.
❝ i knew you, leaving like a father, running like water, and when you are young, they assume you know nothing ❞
he had left so suddenly, almost as if something had happened to make him forget all of the beautiful moments the two of you shared over so many months. how could he not remember when the thoughts of him continued to linger in your mind? he left like you had meant nothing, and that had proven to be the hardest pill to swallow.
❝ cause i knew you'd linger like a tattooed kiss, i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs, the smell of smoke would hang around this long, cause i knew everything when i was young ❞
it had always been clear to you that he was unforgettable. you spend months after his disappearance imagining what it would be like if he returned back to you. it was all you could ever hope for and more. trying to forget beomgyu was like pretending like you had never seen color, knowing your past was only vibrancy.
❝ i knew i'd curse you for the longest time, chasing shadows in the grocery line, i knew you'd miss me when the thrill expired ❞
you saw him down every hall, around every corner, the essence of him inescapable. everywhere you turned, you were met with memories of your lost love. the old grocery store you used to sit in the parking lot of, just listening to your favorite songs and enjoying each other's company; the tree in the park you sat under, head in his lap as his perfect lips read softly to you, his voice smooth as honey and silk. he was the most beautiful part of being alive, and without him, it was dull and grey. you resented him for leaving you, why would he let you admire his presence for so long only to leave when he grew tired of it all?
❝ and i knew you'd be standin' in my front porch light, and i knew you'd come back to me, and you'd come back to me ❞
a part of you always knew, or hoped, rather, that he would be back for you. you wanted him to miss you the way you missed him, to hurt the way you did all this time. you wondered if you would forgive him if he ever returned, but deep down, you know you could never resist him. so when you heard the familiar knock on your door, opening it to see the tall brunette standing on your front porch, you couldn't help but throw yourself into his arms, taking in the scent that had been long washed from the clothing he had left behind.
“i’ve missed you.”
❝ and when i felt like an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and told me i was your favorite ❞
Typical evening on the couch that you’re both chosen it two years ago when you decided to move in together, in his arms near the TV, showing some ‘super interesting movie’ how soobin described it. Maybe, it was, but your attention was not focused on the movie but on thoughts that have been haunting for several weeks or even months, without accurately determining their origin in your head.
Although, that it was those stable, healthy relationships you dreamed about, without jealousy and emotional swings, last time everything has made you doubt its durability and correctness.
A few years ago when you were eighteen you were just getting to know yourselves and each other’s inner world and worldview continued to change. In those years, you’re both wanted to have fun, childishness was still not going to leave you, as well as the same youthful naivety and innocence. In those years, you didn't want to think about the future, living on the principle of one day. The relationship with him was full of surprises, the first date, the first kiss, the first sex, the first argument, and make up. In those years, life seemed so colorful.
But the older you get, the faster time runs, the annual increase in age did not improve the situation in any way.
Now, a few years later, everything has lost that diversity of shades and colors, some innocence inherent in that age, having been replaced by calm tones. I don't want to go out to have fun in places like clubs and parties anymore, preferring to spend the evening in a cozy pastel, or each other's arms. Relationships still have their little surprises, but not the same as before and not in such quantities. And internally, too, not much has changed.
And despite all his words and your importance in his life, there was still a strange feeling.
“are you sure you will still love me when it’s nothing new?”
- Something wrong? – soobin asks, bringing you back on the ground
- Umm? No, I’m fine – you’re tried to fake a smile
- Don’t lie to me you know you can tell me about everything – you could hear a note of concern in his voice
You doubted whether it was worth starting to talk about your thoughts, but realizing that you can no longer resist these thoughts alone, you still decided.
- It's just that in recent years everything has become so familiar, we don't change, remembering how it was a couple of years ago, I wonder: is everything going as it should? The thought that you might get bored of me is killing me. Will you love and want me when I’m nothing new? – you admit that it has been haunted like this for some time.
- Honey, I told you that I love you and I will love you. We are growing up, and we can't stay the same as before, so it is with our relationships. Those were fun years, but I like us more now. And the fact that you don't change won't make me stop loving you, do you hear? - he took your face in his hands, carefully looking into your eyes.
And then you figured it out, even though he didn’t say something wise? But he’s right.
You smiled this time for real – Yes, - said you after kissing him on the lips
- Well and now we have to watch this insanely interesting movie, - he said, pulling away from such a soft kiss in which you put all your love for each other
- Okay, - you answered, chuckling softly
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A/n: I'm sorry if there are mistakes here this is my first experience in writing in English. I will be glad if you like and subscribe 💝
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