Summary: You and Jeongin, by some happy (or not?) coincidence, ended up on the same variety show, but could you both keep your relationship a secret with prying questions?
Pairing: Jeongin x Reader
Genre: angst, fluff, idol AU
Warnings: written at 11pm, so probs sometimes weird sounding and im too tired to check
A/N: 1) donât even ask me abt the group name idek what i was thinking. 2) DAmn sON i didnât mean to make it this long. 3) fun fact: at first this was gonna be a comedic bulletpoint story, then i changed it to a feeble emotional roller coaster (i really do mean feeble af). 4) i hope you like it <33
âPlease welcome our wonderful guests, Five Times Brighter!!!â, called the MC, followed by the cheers from the audience. One by one your group members and yourself filed out onto the small stage to greet the crowd. You were quickly ushered into a seat, where you could witness the sheer amount of people who had come to watch, obscured slightly by the blinding glare of the stage lights.
You felt your throat tighten. This better work out, you thought, feeling ill at ease by knowing there must have been at least ten cameras pointed at you and your comrades. What would we do if anyone found out? You shook your head violently with a pout. Stop it. Nothingâs gonna happen. Youâre overreacting...
You were jolted out of your thoughts by the voice of the MC as he raised his voice again. âAnd now please welcome the rookie legends themselves! The great award winners, Stray Kids!!!â The room erupted into screams of fans as the nine handsome boys jogged out from backstage.
Your stomach did an uncomfortable somersault. Donât make eye contact! If you do, someone will definitely notice!! Then youâre finished!!! You mentally slapped yourself and took a deep breath. You then realized that youâd placed your index and middle finger against your throat, an uncanny imitation of Felix taking his pulse as he became nervous. Youâd somehow picked up the habit from the cute Aussie boy as you hung out with him at the same time as Jeongin. With a gulp, you slammed your hand back onto your lap and stared unemotionally at the boys as they sat on the other couch across from you from the MCâs center chair.
When everyone had sat down, the room went annoyingly quiet. You swallowed back anger as you waited for the MC to ask something and distract you. Finally:
âFirst, Iâd like to ask both groups if they could tell us what inspired certain songs in their albumâ. Some applause followed as you forced your muscles to relax. âShould we ask FTB first?â The crowd cheered.
Your smile started becoming a little more genuine. Nothing bad, just a mindless answer to your average question. The âWhat inspired you to write Xâ question was always a default for some reason. But at least it was eas-
âY/n!â The blood drained from your face at your name. Oh... oh no... âA little birdie told meâ, the MC said cheekily, âthat you wrote one of the most successful songs on the album. âWinged loveâ, wasnât it?â
You started to loath the MC, or whoever had decided that that specific question would be a good one. Itâs true, you had written and composed the song, but your inspiration was exactly what you wanted to avoid, as your mind flashed to moment you got the idea for the lyrics.
âTry to pick your feet up a bit more hereâ, you said, poking Jeonginâs leg as he posed awkwardly in front of the practice room mirror. He groaned in retaliation, muscles trembling from exhaustion.
âI canât do itâ, he whined. âItâs useless. Just go on without me and practice on your own. Youâll do so much better without me dragging you downâ.
You scoffed without any amusement. âLike Hell I will. Iâm staying right here until you can get this. I said Iâd help, so Iâm helpingâ. He gave you a pitiful look, and you smiled softly. âLetâs take a break, then. Iâve got biscuits!â
âI donât usually eat at this hourâ, Jeongin said hesitantly.
âYou donât usually practice at this hourâ, you answered matter-of-factually. You didnât wait for an answer and dragged your boyfriend down to the floor, rolling to your side and grabbing a huge packet full of snacks and tearing it open mercilessly. You offered one to the boy in front of you, who conceded with a sigh. âCheers!â You knocked your biscuit against his, making a couple of crumbs fall to the ground, and shoved the entire thing into your mouth. Jeongin stared at you until you made a face, cookie still lodged between your cheeks, making him burst into laughter. You fought not to spit your snack out as you sniggered with him.
âHow do you do thatâ, he asked.
âMmmfmm ru whaâ, you said, still trying to down your food.
âAlways find a way to make me feel so much better, no matter how battered I feelâ, he said, mesmerized. You stared at him uselessly, so he continued. âWhen Iâve been at my worst, or when Iâve felt like giving up, youâve been there to pick me up. Youâre like my pair of wingsâ. You stayed quiet, scared to knock him out of his reverie. He smiled faintly. âAt this point, I could jump off a mountain, trusting you to catch me if you said you would. And I always feel safe with you. No matter what scares me, I feel better when youâre next to me, as if youâve become a hypothetical shield. And I want to be the same, I want to always be there for you, whenever youâre feeling down, I want to be the first person you think of going toâ. He suddenly curled his fingers and squeezed his eyes shut. âThat was so cringey Iâm sorryâ.
You giggled softly and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder. âItâs a little cliche, I admit. But itâs the best kind of cliche. Because I feel the same wayâ. You lifted your head kissed his cheek. âIâll always be right here. And Iâll always trust you to be there tooâ.
Your eyes came back into focus, as your mind started racing, scrounging for a decent story that could convince the public that it had nothing to do with the very boy who was sitting only five feet from you.
âUh-uhhhâ, your mind became completely blank. âMy... One of my old friendsâ. You cleared your throat. âWhenever she was upset, I would want to do anything to make her feel better. And I did do some pretty stupid thingsâ. You smiled sheepishly at the pitch black half of the room where the fans giggled in reaction to your stutter. Your confidence grew as you continued: âThe lyrics represent what I wanted to be to her. I wanted her to feel as if she could trust me with anything at all. As if I could always pick her up if she felt lowâ. You finished and prayed that it was enough.
The MC nodded, thoughtful. âSo she never said the things in the lyrics out loud?â
You shook your head. âShe wasnât the most extroverted personâ, you answered. âBut I hope that thatâs how she feltâ. At that, everyone seemed satisfied and applauded. You bobbed your head, looking back at your clenched fists in your lap. Iâve gotta be more careful. One slip-up and Iâm in deep-
âHow about our favorite maknaeâ, the MC laughed, turning to SKZ. Your pulse went sky-high again.
Jeongin let his eyes go wide, and pointed at himself. âNa?â He asked in an innocent voice. Despite your nerves going crazy, you managed to chuckled along with everyone else at the cute act.
The MC wasnât an exception, though he quickly regained his posture. âYes, I believe it was you who wrote the song âMidnight Walkâ, am I correct?â
The boy nodded with a bright smile. âThatâs right! And the first ever song where I wrote one hundred percent of the lyrics!!â He glowed with pride, and a secret burst of happiness for him shot through you. You could still remember when heâd told you about his accomplished goal.
You swung your hand, latched onto Jeonginâs, back and forth as you both strolled down an empty trail that ran along the Han River. âSo?â, you prompted.
He looked back at you. âWhat?â He was playing innocent. Of course he was. You giggled and started swinging your connected hands even more, feeling blood rush through your slightly chilled fingers. Without speaking, you both started skipping forward, bumping each other and giggling like children. You loved that. That you could both move in sync without having to communicate. This continued until you pulled him to a stop.
âOkay, now actually tell me. What did you wanna say earlier. You looked as if you were about to explode with excitementâ.
Jeongin grinned happily. âI...â he spoke excruciatingly slowly. â...have written.... my own song! And itâs gonna be on the next album!!!!!â At this, he picked you up and spun you around, until you felt too dizzy to stand on your own.
You laughed with him, and leaned on him. âJeonginie, thatâs amazing! Iâm so proud of youâ. You kept clinging onto him. âWhatâs it called?â
âI havenât decided yetâ, he confessed. He was quiet for a moment. âDo you think I could name it after a fun memory with you? Without being too obvious, that isâ.
You nodded. âYeah, I think you could get away with itâ.
And so he grinned broadly. âOkay, then. How about I call it midnight walk, after tonight?â
âWhy tonight of all things? Weâre just walkingâ, you asked incredulously.
âBecause the simplest memories with you are the bestâ, he answered, squealing a bit at the overly sweet phrase.
You laughed. âAlright then. Are you allowed to spoil a few lyrics for me?â
âOf courseâ, said Jeongin, hoisting you up so that he was half carrying you. âItâs my song after allâ. His voice went up a notch with happiness. âA few lines feel a bit random, without context; but just remember that I thought of you while writing themâ. You hugged his arm until you thought you might be cutting his circulation. As you both kept walking, you slowly regained your balance and he listed a few lines from his oeuvre. That was the best walk at 1:30am youâd ever had.
Jeongin was still beaming at the MC, who began fanning himself dramatically. âHis smile is so blindingâ, he called, and there came calls of agreement from the audience. âBut you still havenât answeredâ. The room went silent again. âWhat inspired you to write the lyrics of âMidnight Walkâ?â
Jeongin gave another dazzling smile. âIt was a lot of different things; it took months of me scribbling down random ideas to be able to form something logicalâ.
The MC nodded again. âOf course, the lyrics do vary a lot. But I think weâre more interested in the more romantic sounding ones in the songâ. The crowd ooh-ed, as if confirming the statement.
Your boyfriend grinned once more. âWell, those specific lines are dedicated to someone very special in my lifeâ.
NO! You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from yelling aloud. He knew about the warnings, as well as you.
âBoth Stray Kids and Five Times Brighter Will be on a variety show on the second weekend of the monthâ, stated one of your managers, standing next to JYP himself. Everyone nodded together as the schedule was recited in its entirety. It was all standard, except for the fact that the two groups had never been on a same show.
As the schedule came to its end, both groups dispersed to continue practice, but JYP called Jeongin and yourself aside. âIâd like to specify somethingâ, he said in a tone that let you know that nothing good was coming. âWhen youâre both on that variety show in the middle of the month, I donât even want you two to make eye contact. We donât want anyone knowing about your relationship. Iâm warning you now, keep it under wraps, and there wonât be any problemsâ.
You and Jeongin nodded, eyes round. As JYP finally walked away, you turned to your boyfriend. âWhy the Hell does he want us to stay a secret?â, you failed terribly at keeping the anger out of your voice. âYouâre allowed to be dating by now, so am I. No one needs to know that we started going out before my ban was up. So whatâs his problem?â
Jeongin pulled you against him. âI donât know, but letâs just do as he said. I donât wanna think about what could happen if something goes wrongâ. You eventually agreed, still grudging.
âItâs still unfair that we have to hide when weâre so happyâ.
The memory raged in your mind, nearly as loud as the screams of shock that wracked the studio at Jeonginâs words. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes, as he smiled calmly. Jeongin, what are you going??!!!!
âTheyâre dedicated to someone special in my lifeâ. He had to raise his voice to make himself heard. âWhom Iâve not met yetâ. There was a collective gasp at the strange turn in his statement. âOne day, I want to be able to say those things to the love of my life, on a walk at one in the morningâ.
Everyone aah-ed in understanding, and you let out a breath you didnât know youâd been holding. You werenât sure if you wanted to smack him or kiss him, but at least no one suspected anything anymore. And heâd very secretly hinted at the walk when he shared the lyrics with you, in the dead of night. Your heart swelled with warmth and love for the boy.
âLook at y/n, theyâre blushing!â, yelled the MC. You were so shocked that you yelled out as everyone shouted teasingly. The MC started laughing. âAre you thinking of anyone in particular, y/n? Anyone youâd like to take a midnight walk with?â Electricity filled the air.
None of your damn business, you thought hotly. But of course it was. Your entire life was not yours to control, but the publicâs. You made a face as if youâd swallowed a particularly sour lemon, which incidentally seemed to be a pretty good answer for the public.
âApparently, y/n isnât at all interested in a relationshipâ, chuckled the MC. He quickly continued with a bunch of other standard questions, and you imagined the different ways you could smack him and still get away with it. Maybe I should throw a bucket of water at him, then he wouldnât be so obnoxiously happy, you thought, in your own world.
You werre making eye-contact with Jeongin, and realized with a start that youâd been staring at him this entire time. You checked that no one had remarked, but the cameras were strained on Changbin as he complained about being woken up too harshly by Woojin, to the amusement of most. You quickly stole another look at your boyfriend but, almost too subtle to notice, he shook his head, looking a bit panicky. You immediately understood and glanced elsewhere, trying to act interested in some tangled cables by a stage light.
When the questions had dragged on long enough to make your feet go numb, it was finally time for a game before the show came to an end. You stood up gratefully, hobbling a bit to get to stage right. You craned your neck to see what game you were meant to play against Stray Kids, and with a crashing wave of horror, you realized that Pocky Stick packets were sitting on the tiny stool near the stage wings. You saw from the corner of your eye that Jeongin was looking as displeased about the idea as you, even though everyone else seemed almost thrilled.
This is nuts, you kept repeating to yourself. Either Iâll have to play with one of SKZ, WHO KNOW JEONGIN AND I ARE DATING, or I play against Jeongin and people realize that we seem too comfortable. Itâs a lose lose situation oh shit oh shit oh sh-
âHow about the desert-fox-maknae and y/n, who seems so keen to avoid a little kiss!â, yelled the MC, who was tantalizingly close enough for you to punch. You faced Jeongin, who had become unusually pale, and you fought back your own panic as you were passed a Pocky Stick.
Your stomach churned as you both stared at each other, sweat beading at the hairline. Someone gave your shoulder a push --you didnât know who, and you couldnât force yourself to care-- and you bit into you end of the stick. Jeongin bit the other end and cheers rose in the crowd, deafening you and making your eyes water.
You werenât sure how long you both kept staring at each other, but in the seconds --it couldâve been hours-- that Jeonginâs eyes bore into yours, something seemed to click in his mind, and he clenched his jaw with determination. You nibbled a bit of the Pocky Stick and noise in the room went up. Slowly the gap between your lips became smaller and smaller until you were close enough for you to hear his heartbeat, or maybe it was yours, pounding in your ears.
You squeezed your eyes shut, your senses completely abandoning you. We must be less than a centimeter apart! And then you felt a firm hand clasp your wrist. Before you could understand what was happening, Jeonginâs lips smacked against yours. But not by accident. This was with decision, the Pocky Stick forgotten. From habit, you kissed him back, your ears ringing. As you pulled away, you realized it had been him who had grabbed your wrist, and heâd put a the other hand on your waist to pull you closer. The ringing in your ears was from the screams that came from the audience.
Panic rose up in you again as what had happened sank in. We kissed... on live TV!! Your heart was in your throat. Whatâs going to happen to us? Jeongin said something that never made it to your ears, but looked something like âtrust meâ. He turned to everyone watching, now in a confused frenzy at what theyâd witnessed. âY/n and I are datingâ, he stated simply, which was followed by an enormous uproar. He continued in a yell. âWe werenât meant to say anything, but I think itâs unfair that we have to keep our happiness a secret, just for the satisfaction of the public. So now you know!!!â His last words were drowned out by more screams of shock and confusion as you were both pulled off and away from stage.
You had become light-headed, everything becoming an incoherent blur as your receded into your own chaotic thoughts. Whatâs gonna happen what will JYP do to us will we be kicked out of the company oh god what if I become the reason for Jeongin leaving Stray Kids I couldnât live with myself--
In your daze, you were pushed into a small waiting room. âWait hereâ, said a gruff voice. Iâm going to pass out! The world is tilting to the left! And now the right... Left.... Right.... You leaned against a wall and looked at Jeongin, who stared back at you, expressionless. After a few seconds, you started violently trembling.
âWhat are we going to doâ, you breathed, more to yourself than to your boyfriend. âTheyâll hate us, theyâll kick us out of the company! Why did you do that?â You had no anger in your voice as you stared at Jeongin, just helplessness. He walked over and wrapped his arms around you tightly but with a little tremor.
âI donât knowâ, he confessed, and you sniffled slightly. âBut I thought of what youâd said when we were told to stay quiet. We shouldnât have to hide, especially because weâre so happy. I think if JYP wants to kick us out, let himâ.
âNo, no, Jeongin!â You let out a panicked sob. âWhat about the other boys? You canât leave them, not just for me! What ever happens, you canât leave Stray Kids!â
You both stood there, holding onto each other tightly, for a long time. After what felt like hours, you both sat down on the shiny floor of the tiny room, still not letting go of each otherâs hands. You had calmed down now, and just sat quietly. Suddenly, Jeongin sat up and grabbed his phone. âWhat are you doingâ, you asked, your voice slurred and muffled from exhaustion.
âThe show was a live broadcast wasnât itâ, asked Jeongin. âAnd because itâs the evening, most of the world will have been awake. Which means...â He tapped the Twitter icon and the app came to life. He immediately went to the Trending page, and with a gasp, you saw #JeonginAndY/nDating on the second most popular tag.
âOh my Godâ, you breathed. You didnât think the effect would be so big. Before you could stop him, Jeongin tapped on the tag. You yelped and looked away, not wanting to see any of the awful comments people had made.
âY/n...â Jeonginâs voice was laced with shock.
âI know, I know, you donât have to tell me itâs badâ, you say in despair.
âItâs... Everyoneâs congratulating us!â Your eyes snapped open, and you swung your head around to glare at the bright screen. Thousands upon thousands of tweets had the trending hashtag, with people voicing their wishes of happiness for you as a couple, in English, Korean, you saw Spanish and french and Japanese. Message after message flashed by as Jeongin scrolled downwards. He started laughing; softly at first, then loudly, like a child how had received a special gift for Christmas. âTheyâre happy for us! Y/n theyâre happy for us!!â He hugged you tightly as you laughed with him, more out of relief and exhaustion than anything else.
After a few more minutes, spent with you both bent over the phone and reading all the happy tweets, one of the staff came in to let you know that JYP was on his way to talk. âHe didnât sound as angry as we expected though, if that makes you feel a little betterâ, he said sympathetically. You thanked him as he wished you both luck and closed the door. And you turned back to Jeongin.
âYou know... I donât want to jinx it but... maybe this wasnât as bad as I thoughtâ, you said apprehensively.
The boy hugged you tightly. âWell, no matter what happens, weâll always be there for each other. Right?â
You smiled, thinking of âMidnight Walkâ and âWinged Loveâ. âRightâ. You felt warm, think about the lyrics youâd both written, saying youâd never leave the love of your life.
im sorry idek what the ending is anymore but eh this was the third draft soooo...
