Journaling Tips for Survivors of Abuse and Trauma
By Michelle, loveisrespect Advocate
If you talk with one of our advocates, they may recommend keeping a journal as part of your emotional safety plan, since journaling can help you clarify your thoughts and feelings, gain perspective on a situation, and solve problems more effectively. But what exactly is journaling? The truth is that journaling can look different for everyone, and with so many options, it can seem really overwhelming to even know where to start. There’s really no right or wrong way to go about keeping a journal, but here are a few strategies you can try if you need some ideas to get you going!
When many people think of journaling, they envision keeping a daily log of events, like a diary. This simple style of journaling can be effective for survivors who are trying to remember their version of events to combat gaslighting, or those trying to document their abuse or custody case. Writing about your day can help you keep a dated record of your experiences, so you can keep events straight and remember the details in case you need them later. Always keep your safety in mind when deciding whether or how to keep your journal. See the last section of this article for more tips on safer journaling.
Journaling can also be a safe way to process traumatic elements of your abuse that you aren’t yet ready to share with anyone else or even say out loud. While it can be tempting to bury and ignore painful memories, that is not a successful long-term strategy for most survivors. Translating thoughts into words changes how our brains think about things, so putting those memories to paper can be a safe way to begin working through them. Research shows that writing for 15 minutes a day for four consecutive days can have beneficial effects on our immune system, sleep patterns, anxiety and depression, and even arthritis! Try taking some time to write about what happened and how you’re feeling about everything. Don’t worry about it making sense or being grammatically correct, just commit to writing for a certain amount of time every day, and see where your thoughts take you.
We often hear from survivors that there is something they wish they could say to someone that they can’t—confronting their abuser, telling a loved one about the abuse, letting their ex know how they’re feeling after a breakup—and a journal can be a safe way to do that. Try writing a letter to that person in your journal, saying everything you wish you could tell them. You don’t need to send the letter or even show it to anyone, and sometimes destroying it by ripping it up into small pieces or safely burning it can feel cathartic.
Your journal can also be a helpful tool when planning for your physical safety, either while staying with your partner or in preparation for leaving. In what ways are you currently unsafe? What obstacles are there to being safe? How can you plan around those challenges? If you are preparing to leave your partner, a journal can help you keep track of what steps are necessary to be able to leave safely, and how you are progressing with your preparation. Although a journal can be a helpful way to gather all of this information in one place, it also makes it easy for your partner to know your plans if they find your journal, so it will be essential for you to find a way to keep your journal safe and private if you utilize this method.
Keep reading for more tips on safer journaling.
