[solar-baby]

“And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness?”

-Charles Bukowski

[solar-baby]

If tomorrow I do not wake, please don’t be sad.

I have someone waiting up there for me.

This time on earth has been incredible, but without them here, there has been a perpetual haze that has blanketed every day since they’ve left.

Every day since then, I’ve looked for glimpses of them.

Hoping - praying - that they haven’t left me altogether.

And some days I’ve seen them - pieces of them really - but every day I’ve longed for them.

To be right back here with me.

I told them to wait for me once they got where they were going.

To watch over me until I get there.

And I think I’ve done a good job at making sure I don’t get there too soon.

Because I’ve still got a lot of life to live,

Now that I have to live for the both of us.

But if, for some reason, tomorrow I do not wake, please don’t weep for me.

For I will have gotten to where I was going,

and someone has been waiting for me.

[solar-baby]

If we were meant to be

We would have been by now

[solar-baby]

I should not have to

reach crisis

for you to believe

my distress

[solar-baby]

Take her to the moon for me

[hatin]

via weheartit

[kissedbythevoid]

[rllygay]

[sci-universe]

[eliminated]

[amortizing]

“What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.”

—

[thepersonalwords]

““Sometimes we get sad about things and we don’t like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don’t know why we are sad, so we say we aren’t sad but we really are.” - Mark Haddon”

—

[slfcare]

this pandemic will end and you’ll claim the window seat in your favorite cafe, stand in a crowd at a concert, visit a museum and make crappy art in the park. sometimes things feel like they’ll go on forever, sometimes bad things feel heavier than good things, sometimes life feels like it’s slowing down and all you’re doing is waiting for the full stop— but just because this hopelessness is all that you’re feeling right now, doesn’t mean that it’s all there is. there’s always more and you will experience that, and you will feel alive again.

[desnos]

[seraphimrot]

[compulsive]

[paintdeath]

Stefan Bruggemann