grgrrgrgrhgjj

✦cookie/soli✦ they/them✦ creature artist and inescapable vilething✦

[4e3076]

hmm... this highly personal vent post seems like the perfect place to lay my roleplay egg...

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[voicesbyzane]

Visit Original Link

original post by @captchacomics​

[escuerzoresucitado]

[viralfrog]

[death-420]

pls god where is the fourth of julie goodbye 2007 hello 2008

[sillysayaka]

dear dire

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[tazzymcclazzy]

the next few seconds WRAPPED

You clicked 1 readmore

[anishenanigans]

shit man, this artfight is fucked. I just saw a guy upload his art and say "ten characters mass attack" or some similar shit, and everyone around him got attacked, had their battle ratio lowered, and then disappeared. My ass is casting headshot and minimal shading. I think I just heard "power word: frame-by-frame animation" two teams over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[g4yr4t]

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

[g4yr4t]

all I'm saying is that no one has ever seen them in the same room together

[most-likely-human-indeed]

Fuck I have tomorrow tomorrow

[relelvance]

At night before bed let's all brush our teeth it will be epic

[aflo]

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[teashoesandhair]

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

[7irkedisopods]

Title: Expanding Universe silly andy weir drawing from a few months ago. i started it back in december and finished it before the movie came out, so everything is from my brain, the world wide web, and the books alone.

details below the cut ↓

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

I don't need the chatgpt random algorithm to write emails for me because I already have a custom and 100% flawless algorithm called "writing the exact same three emails with the names changed"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

#1: "hi [landlord], hope you're doing well! [apartment thing] is [broken/a problem]. we need it [fixed/replaced/handled] by [date]. let us know when you'll send someone over so we can be here to let them in. thanks so much, [op]"

#2: "hi [professor], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, I'm [sick/stuck at work/dead] and won't be able to submit [assignment] by [due date]. could I please have an extension? if not, is there anything else I could do to make up this credit? thanks so much, [op]"

#3: "hi [customer service person], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, [product] [didn't arrive/is broken/wrong color/gave me a rash/poisoned my crops] and I'd like to receive a [refund/replacement]. here is the documentation of the order and photos of [broken thing/wrong thing/my rash/dead crops]. thanks so much, [op]"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

"but op I work in an office I have to write way more emails than you" well that's your fault for working in an office i got nothing to do with that

[perpetualsarcasmmachine]

Writing an email is so easy and I will tell you how it's done. This is the advice is for everyone with an email job, but you can apply it to normal human interaction.

The FIRST SENTENCE is the thing you want the recipient to do. Do not make them guess.

I want to let you know about ... (This email is to inform someone of something not to ask them to do anything)

Could you please do ... (This is a request. You want them to do something).

I'm looking into x and wondering if you can help me (this is also a request but for information instead of an action).

People do not want to read an email and even if they do read it, most people are skimming and not interested. Tell them what you want first, then provide context or other information (when you need a thing is often key). If the email is informational, you can even add "you don't need to do anything, this is just to keep you informed!" People will appreciate not having to figure out what you want from them.

If you can't articulate what you want the recipient to do with the message, you are not ready to email them. I read too many emails where I have no idea what the person wants from me.

Put the most important thing first and everyone will be impressed! AI cannot do this for you because it can't tell what's important! Only you know that, which is why you must write your own emails.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

to everyone who wants help with emails: go through the notes of this post. there are ideas I've never thought of and plenty of scripts for all kinds of situations/jobs