에리스

21 || i write once every 84 years || mdni

[classycookiexo]

[capricorn-born]

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

[weaselle]

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[vmohlere]

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[rowarn]

okay everyone twisted my arm. here is my first attempt!!!

tw: watersports !!! pee kink !!! piss !!!!!! don't look at this if u don't like it !!!!!! UNEDITED !!! wrote this with my dick tbh

for @sgtgarricks and @solilo-queeer and grace <3

you should have noticed something was off when simon was shoving water after water into your hands. but you didn't think anything of -- just assumed it was simon being his same old nuturing self. it was hot lately and he must have been worried about your hydration levels. that's what you told yourself.

it wasn't until you got home that he made his nasty little scheme known. you set your things down and toed your shoes off, stretching your arms over your head as you finally relaxed in the comfort of your own home.

when you moved to go down the hall towards the bathroom, your boyfriend's big, hulking form intercepted you. you frowned, trying to sidestep him only to be blocked again.

"si, what are you doing?" you giggled, playfully trying to push him aside but he didn't budge, "i gotta pee, move."

"did i tell you how pretty you looked tonight?" he suddenly asks, reaching out to paw at your hips.

you bite your lip at his rough touch, sighing happily when he pulls you into his chest. you reach up, wrapping your arms around his neck. you tug his mask down so you can peck his lips.

"thank you," you coo, "now move before i piss my pants."

but he still hadn't let you go. instead, those big, brutish hands continued to paw at you. the slipped under your shirt, easily cupping your tits. you let out a pleasurable sigh when he pinches and rolls your nipples between his fingers.

there's a familiar, hot tingling between your thighs already. your full bladder from all the water only making the sensation stronger. you stand there, letting simon squeeze and play with your tits.

"s-si, i'm serious...i gotta go..." you whimper, sounding less resolute than you did a moment ago, "y-you gotta let me go pee if you wanna do this."

simon doesn't bother with a response. instead, he yanks your shirt up over your head. you yelp at his harsh handling of you but it's nothing new, really. he's never known how to really control his strength.

you whine his name again, that heavy, full feeling in your bladder starting to grown painful with the growing arousal slicking your cunt up in your panties. simon ushers you towards him, towards the couch where he sits and pulls you to stand between his thighs.

his warm lips find your tits, mouthing at your nipples as he makes quick work of your jeans. he flips the button out of the hole and shoves them down your hips. your panties go along with them, not a care in the world that you're completely naked while he remains clothed in jeans and a hoodie.

once you step out of them, you realize there's no way he's letting you go pee. it suddenly dawns on you, the entire night leading to this.

"y-you planned this," you whine, shuddering when his fingers find your folds.

he laughs softly at your realization. your cheeks burn when you can hear how wet you are as he slips his fingers between your labia to find your clit.

you jolt, the need to pee making the bud feel even more sensitive. you gasp, widening your stance to he can have better access but instead he works you open on his fingers.

one finger finds itself snug in the hot clutch of your walls. then two and then three. you're moaning, grinding your hips in time to the fluid movements of his fingers as he prods them at that gooey little spot inside you. that really makes you drip down his wrist. he can play your body like a fiddle.

he doesn't waste too much time on foreplay, just enough to stretch you open. the loss of his fingers makes you whine, pussy clenching pathetically around nothing.

he pulls you forward, sitting you prettily right on his lap where you belong. with a few quick movements, he's got his jeans unbuttoned and his cock pulled out. its flushed and leaking, twitching with his arousal.

"y-you're a pervert," you whimper, letting him position you on your knees over his weeping cockslit.

"says the one who's about to be creamin' all over me," he quips back, supporting your hips when you sink down on him.

and fuck, it feels even better than it even has. your bladder is so full and achy. he's so deep that it only makes the need to go even worse. your cheeks flush when you think about how you might not be able to hold it -- you really have to pee.

when you whine and tell him that, how much you gotta pee, he only laughs. it makes tears prick your eyes. he's so fucking mean, forcing you to bounce on his cock like this.

drool dribbles down your chin from how good it feels. your claw at his arms, listening to the wet squealing sound of your gooey cunt being fucked open.

you swear your feel a little pee dribbling out whenever your pussy involuntarily clenches around him. your clit is pulsing, hard and sensitive from the urge to pee.

"o-oh god, simon," you sputter, moaning and squealing while he spears you on his fat cock/

"what's wrong? thought you had to piss, love?" he teases, a nasty smile growing on his handsome face.

you wail, "f-fuck you!"

he laughs, "that's what i'm doin' lovie. got this pretty cunt creamin' don't i?"

you wail, eyes rolling back in your head. he reaches down, thumb finding the hard, swollen bud of your clit. he presses down on it, meanly squishing it and rolling it under the pad of his digit.

your entire body meanly twitches, "w-wait. s-si, i'm really gonna pee!"

he curses, "yeah? go ahead, sweetheart. make a mess for me."

you choke on your gasp as your orgasm washes over you. simon groans, leaning back to get a full view of your pretty body as you cum real hard for him.

your pretty cunt squeezes and spasms around him, your full bladder unable to handle your orgasm and releasing. tears trickle down your cheeks as he continues to fuck you, your cum and piss splattering all over the both of you.

he whimpers at the sight, feeling his clothes hot and wet as they stick to him from your pee. he reaches his own end, snapping his hips up one last time, cumming right against your service with a full-body shudder. every muscle in his body tenses from how strong the orgasm is, his hips lifting off the couch as his full, heavy balls spit out every drop of cum they hold.

"y-you're so mean," you whimper, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.

he only laughs, sagging against the couch, panting and still twitching. but his cocks still fucking hard.

[rowarn]

kyle's the kind of best friend you "practice kissing" with i will not be taking criticism at this time

[rowarn]

you've got a date coming up. ur nervous. you've never been on a date. you've never had a boyfriend or anything. so you go to your best friend kyle garrick, nerves completely fried as you think of your date.

"what if he wants to kiss me and i don't know how?" you ask him. he's cool calm and collected just assuring you that it's not that hard !!!

just follow your dates lead!!! but you're not satisfied with that. you're a hands on learner, you tell him.

so he offers to let you practice with him!!! it doesn't have to mean anything (: you're just two friends practicing !!!

and he really takes your breath away. he kisses so good. he smells amazing and there's a taste of mint on his tongue. you feel dazed and hazy after the kiss, wanting even more.

"one more time," you tell him, "can you show me once more?"

and who is he to deny you!! he leans in and kisses you all over again and you have to stifle a whimper. he makes it deeper this time, sloppier. there's a string of spit connected your lips to his when you part ways. your hearts pounding in your chest.

the next day, you cancel your date completely (-: but you don't tell him. after all, you need continued lessons in case you forget everything he taught you!!!

[rowarn]

bff!kyle decides that the best way to reach you how to suck cock is to have you use your dildo. it's a silicon toy, transparent, with just a little give - not one of those hard plastic ones.

your cheeks burn and you avoid his gaze when you present the toy to him.

he gives you instructions, taking the toy in his hand as he brings it to your lips. you're so shy as you open your mouth and he encourages you, telling you how good you're doing.

"that's it, love," he coos, "just relax your throat."

you do your best but once the tip of the toy touches the back of your throat, you sputter and reach up to grab his wrist. he pulls it out and watches you cough, tears and drool making a mess of your face.

his cock is painfully hard against his thigh, twitching and spitting precum all over his skin. it's so hot watching you struggle to swallow a fake cock. he wishes he could be teaching you on his cock but he can't. he's just your best friend!!

so he continues to teach you how to take it down your throat. you're clumsy and intimidated and it's the cutest thing ever to him ):

after a while, he notices the way you're clenching your thighs, shifting uncomfortably where you're sat. he knows well enough that you're wet - pretty panties probably sticking to your chubby little cunt.

he imagines what it would be like to slip his hand under the fabric and make you sit on his fingers while he fucks your throat with this silly pink dildo.

he pulls the toy away and puts it down, heart racing and cheeks burning.

"i think you can practice in your free time now, yeah?" he asks, wiping a tear off your cheek.

you nod your head, a haze over your eyes, "y-yeah. thanks, kyle."

fuck, you just thanked him for stuffing your throat with a fake cock while you drooled into your panties.

he was fucked.

[rowarn]

courtesy of @solilo-queeer in the disc server hehe

bff!kyle who, when you tell him u wanna practice actual sex now, tries to think of any way he can teach you. of course, he could fuck u himself - teach u how it's supposed to feel and if anyone doesn't make it feel like how he makes it feel... kick em to the curb!!!

but he's still trying to maintain that 'best friend' status and not ruin it. so he comes up with a rather unique idea.

has you on your back, situates himself between your legs. has you hold, between your legs, a cute translucent pocket pussy.

"now you can get used to how it feel to be under someone like this," he tells you, "it's not quite the same but it's close enough!"

you're positively trembling when you feel his cock stretch the toy open. the material is so thin and soft you can feel every movement inside it when he pulls his hips back and pushes forward. it's overwhelming, being underneath him like this while he fucks the stupid toy you hold between your legs ):

you wish it was your pussy he was fucking. but you can't say that. you're supposed to be practicing! it wouldn't be practicing if you actually did it. that's what you tell yourself. but the truth is, if he said the word you'd strip yourself now and let him fuck you stupid on his pretty cock.

but he doesn't, he presses himself on top of you, kisses you so sweetly and moans in your ear abt how good your little cunt feels around him. it makes you whine out loud, cheeks burning when he laughs at you.

"you've got a free hand, sweetheart," he tells you, taking your wrist and leading it to the hem of your pants, "if you touch yourself we can make it feel even more real. great practice."

"yeah..." you whisper, following his advice, "practice."

[rowarn]

kyle's the kind of best friend you "practice kissing" with i will not be taking criticism at this time

[solilo-queeer]

soft cock price blurb

based off of a post @rowarn made that i literally cannot find *cries* theirs was abt simon tho!!

Tags ig: nsfw, age gap (you don’t really need to squint), uncut price because foreskin for the win

__________________________________________

Price was up there in years. Ever a dog of the military, he was in his late fortiesーnearing that dreaded fifty. His joints ache, knees popping everytime he crouches down. He swears he’s got a crick in his neck that he can’t ever seem to get rid of, no matter how many chiropractors he hurls money at. 

But the worst of it all was his dick. Couldn’t get the damn thing up anymore. His libido was still good, sure, but his cock never got the memo. It used to work fine, satisfied some real lucky souls. But now…well now it just sits all soft. And he refuses to go to the doctor about it, doesn’t want to hear those two words.

It’s all fine and good, though. He’s got a sweet little thing hanging off his arm now, one that doesn’t mind if he can’t really compensate down thereーyou. Oh, you were an angel. Fresh from heaven, he’s sure of it. So tiny compared to him, and so good. He usually had to train his pups, but you came that way. You treated him like he deserved, serviced him right.

Each day after he came home, he’d sit on the edge of your shared bed, spread his legs nice and wide. Wouldn’t even take off his uniformーjust let you unzip his trousers, unbuckle his belt. Fish his soft cock out of his boxers and feed it through your plump lips, suckling on it as you gazed up at him through dewy, long lashes. He’d come his fingers through your hair and sigh, smile down at you in that way he does. He half thinks he prefers it this wayーunable to get it up. It’s the first time someone’s been able to fit all of him down their throat, after all. 

His vision grows hazy as he watches your eyes flutter shut, and you lay your head against his inner thigh in a way that makes your cheek squish. You look peaceful, as if this was a relaxing activity. His leg twitches. He licks his lips.

“...You wet?” He rasps, already knowing the answer from the way your hips canted against his boot. You nod, inadvertently bobbing your head on his length. Your tongue laves at the underside, and his eyes roll back briefly. 

“Easy...” He whispers, pulling your head back off of him. It’s a warning. You take the hint, letting your jaw go slack just seconds before he spills on your tongue. He uses his other hand to roll his foreskin back, letting his tip sit against your lips until he finishes cumming. You lap at it to clean it up. “Shit.”

He’s a generous man, of courseーhe’d never let you do something without returning the favor. So he makes a point to eat you out until you’re crying, two thick fingers shoved in your cunt sopping cunt.

[rowarn]

any opinions on what cod characters would give the most divine backshots?

i think there's 2 genres of back shots.

rlly mean rough back shots that leave u drooling and aching from the way his hits ur cervix and makes you arch your back

and the kind of back shots that have your eyes rolling back and get u cumming over and over from how deep he is

mean aching back shots: simon, price, nikto, krueger <3

deep euphoric back shots: kyle, soap, könig <3

[solilo-queeer]

It’s porn.

_____________________________________________________

It’s a good position. It’s got your toes curling.

Actually, noーhe’s got your toes curling. Kyle. He’s always been good with his hips. His stupid fat cock. 

He’s fucking you so good you think you might tear your optic nerve from how far your eyes are rolled back. Your mouth’s open in some silent cry, the only sounds in the room being the echo of his old ass box springs, the steady thump of the bed’s headboard against the wall, and the squish of your wet, lubed up cunt as it stretches around him.

Your cheek is squished against the pillow, face down and ass up high for him. He’s got a grip in your hair close to your scalp, making you bounce your ass back to meet his pumps. You let out an inhuman groan, and he chuckles.

“You alright, sweet thing?” He coos, and you melt. Poor cunt gets even more drippy for the devil of a man. “C’mon, lemme see.”

He spreads your asscheeks apart, watching how you grip onto his cock as he pulls back, listens to you squeal as he pushes in. He spits slowly, letting it fall down onto his length, making the slide even wetter, dirtier. He huffs a dry laugh when you whisper that you’re cumming, and he watches as you make him nice and gooey with slick release.

“Fuck, that’s good.” He curses, eyelashes fluttering as his vision grows hazy. Your pussy’s just so perfect, squeezing so tight before going nice and pliant for him, almost like a little sleeve. He watches, amused, as you go limp in the sheets. He places his free hand on your hip, his own jerking as he tries to restrain himself. He promised he was gonna be good to you tonight, real good.

When the fuck was he not good? Always makin’ you cum ‘til you passed out, poor little cunt ruined from all his fun.

He was too sidetracked, not even realizing how close he wasーhow deep he wasーuntil he noticed you reaching back, pushing on his hip bone as you drooled on the pillow. He inhaled sharply, slipping his length out and quickly fisting it until he was shooting hot ropes over your lower back. You whimpered softly, and he shushed you, reaching his hand down so he could rub his middle finger over your twitchy clit.

[denkisauce]

best genre of photo actually