I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU
Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs
IN A SCARY WAY
Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!
I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION
$LAYYYTER

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★
🪼

pixel skylines
YOU ARE THE REASON
almost home
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
h
i don't do bad sauce passes
One Nice Bug Per Day
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie
sheepfilms

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

blake kathryn

if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@n3rdybird
I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU
Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs
IN A SCARY WAY
Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!
I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION
Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr
this is my house?
I am deeply offended by this! I was reading thoughts on what D&D classes the characters of The Mummy (1999) would be, and there was a comment that Jonathan was obviously a rogue, but either a badly built one or one with shit dice rolls. And! Excuse you? Jonathan is a perfectly acceptable rogue! He rolls fine when he’s actually attempting to do something!
In the first movie alone, some of his greatest hits:
Successfully pickpocketed Rick on their first meeting, without Rick so much as joining the dots until later.
Survives a pitched battle on a burning ship without a scratch, and somehow gets the key from a burning hook-handed enemy mook in the process. (“And did I panic? I think not!”)
Survives a pitched battle in the Hamunaptra ruins while drunk, through liberal use of cover and picking off targets at range.
Rolls a Nat 20 on his deception check to avoid being massacred by a large group of hynotised enemies in the museum.
Survives the final pitched battle with the undead (again, through liberal use of cover, hiding and running).
Successfully makes his intelligence roll to translate the Book of Amun Ra (with the Help action from Evie).
Successfully uses the resulting control over the undead mooks to even out the battlefield, including the genius brain move of sending them after Ankh-Su-Namun to both save Evie and distract Imhotep.
Successfully pickpockets a lich while being strangled by him to regain the key and enable Evie to use the book to banish Imhotep altogether.
Yes, he’s fairly flimsy in direct battle, and if at all possible refuses to get to melee range with anybody. So he’s a ranged rogue, and has a tendency to use the environment to his advantage. But he’s clearly designed around Sleight of Hand, Charisma, and a decent sprinkling of Intelligence, and prefers to use object interactions and battlefield control to even out his odds. For all that, though, he fully will stay in melee range if he has no other choice, and take the opportunity to pickpocket the BBEG while he’s at it.
He's a perfectly serviceable rogue, he’s just not optimised for straight combat. And even there, as the second movie shows, he’s excellent at ranged combat. He just doesn’t like getting up close and personal.
Actually, going back and rewatching that final battle again ... I don't think that Jonathan stayed in range of Imhotep because he had no choice. He stayed in range specifically to pickpocket him.
I didn't realise before, but this whole battle starts with Evie telling Jonathan that the only way to kill Imhotep is to open the book and read the spell to banish him. Jonathan says it's locked, they need the key, and Evie then tells him it's in Imhotep's robes.
When Jonathan sends the priest mummies after Ankh-Su-Namun with the spell on the cover (saving both Rick and Evie in the process), Imhotep is coming right for him. However, Imhotep is then briefly disabled by watching the brutal murder of his lover all over again, and Jonathan ... could have run. There's a beat there where Imhotep is completely focused on something else, and Jonathan absolutely has the presence of mind to use that, but he doesn't. Imhotep, now incensed that Jonathan has murdered his lover, promptly spins back around and goes to murder him back, and is only stopped because Rick returns the favour from earlier and saves him.
At which point a lightly-strangled Jonathan stands back up and tells Evie he got the key.
He fucking stayed put on purpose because he knew they needed the key, that Imhotep had the key, and that he was the only person who could fucking pickpocket the BBEG mid-strangulation and get away with it, so long as someone could swoop in before the undead wizard actually killed him. Imhotep is immortal and immune to damage if they don't do something about that. This is a fight of attrition they cannot win. And his sister told him what they needed to stop it, so Jonathan went and got it.
He cheerfully calls himself a coward, and then he goes and fatally pisses off a lich as a distraction, and then stands still to be murdered for it in order to get close enough to pickpocket the immortal pissed off undead. It wasn't that he took the opportunity while being strangled, he set up being strangled in order to have the opportunity.
Say whatever the hell you like about that man, but he has never once failed to do something his family actually needed him to do.
Given the movie's release date, it's not that he's a 5e rogue but not one optimized for melee combat, he's a 2nd-edition thief.
i think i would be dead without fanfic. thanks fanfic. love u
Masterlist
Animal Kingdom
Series
Holdfast (Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x F!Reader)
Requests
Blurbs
The Pitt
Series
Lemon Drop (Dennis Whittaker x F!Reader x Jack Abbott)
Requests
Blurbs
Omg, both of these just *chef's kiss*
This is awesome on so many levels.
Ladies and Gentlemen i present to you John Carpenter’s The Thing, as performed by the claymated, Antarctic cast of the hit children’s animation Pingu. Directed by Lee Hardcastle, in under 3 minutes. Noot, Noot.
Oh my fucking god.
JESUS CHRIST
I’m still amazed at how they got a “noot noot” to sound so much like a “fuck you”
i call this phenomenon "god hates me"
Call me out why don't you.
i hate verona and more broadly i hate 90% of verona likers by default
toy box masterlist COMPLETED
pairing: jack abbot x reader
summary: handling your marriage with a really great doctor, and a really bad husband.
warnings tagged per each chapter :)
Jesus christ this wrecked me... so good, so damn sad. A+ would feel hurt again.
Writing fanfiction is so easy
Bahahaha
hello mtv, this is my series called "accidental horny"
Well... if you insist.
thing every whump writer can relate to
being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider
It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait
The pitt knew what they were doing when they cast Noah wyle and Shawn hatosy.
Praying on our daddy issues. Like we're gonna watch their show.
Well good for them it worked.
Writing fanfiction is so weird. You get an idea in your head, start fleshing out details and all of a sudden you are researching how people did laundry before washing machines, even though its a small throwaway part of the story, but. YOU. HAVE. TO. GET. IT. RIGHT.
i found this image to be quite inspirational, thus i wish to share it. you don't have to make something phenomenal much less rather something exceptional. you must first put it out there and tweak things later because you cannot build off of something you put nothing into. some day you'll regret never putting yourself out there.
create beautiful, wonderful things.
~ m.n.