guide to making your system a nicer/more functional place
(disclaimer: this is what works for us, but everyone is different and as such may have different needs)
⭐️ Punishments, isolation, and jailing do not work. Do not use them.
⭐️ Try to understand why your headmates do the things they do. Research where that behavior comes from, try to note triggers.
⭐️ Be conscientious of each others' triggers (front triggers and other triggers). Try to learn what they are. Never share them with outsiders.
⭐️ Don't try to internalize singlet-style relationship types. You will not fit neatly into boxes of siblings, friends, partners, coworkers, roommates, or lovers. You are headmates.
⭐️ Have individual headspaces AND a collective headspace if you can. You can have houses, doorways, statues, fucking trees, whatever, in a circle in your collective headspace representing your individual headspaces. This way you are all connected, but have your own spaces. Have a collective meeting space in the middle.
⭐️ Try to make sure everyone has a name. Even if it's just "The Blue One". Unless a headmate specifically requests not to have a name, of course.
⭐️ Headmates can communicate in all sorts of ways. Not just words, but images, emotions, internal and external body language. Be open to listen.
⭐️ When looking for a headmate's "age", you are really looking for: emotional maturity, ability to understand complex topics, ability to consent to sex, ability to cope with an adult life, food preferences, communication style, and headspace appearance. It is most often not a literal age.
⭐️ If roles aren't natural, don't seek them.
⭐️ Put clear, honest communication + understanding above rules and everything else.
❤️ Regarding romance: It is a societal construct. Highly likely not to fit your collective needs. Take from it what you want. If it doesn't serve you, let it go.
[This list is likely to be edited for updates]
