Man must surely be man's worst enemy. It's not normal for us to be so polarized is it? OF COURSE IT IS. We are pack animals, I suppose it makes sense, old tribes from the days before what we call "civility" most definitely were this polarized. Along came the internet, and we were somehow more and less united than we have ever been. So many ways the world is supposed to be.
There are needles in my mouth.
There is spit in my eye.
Oh yeah, I was spit on for being gay. The whole story was this kid, two years younger than me was bothering me, calling me gay, asking me if I was, then asking me to lick him, and suck him off. Things all the cool kids are doing now a days. He was calling me gay, and asking me to "lick his penis" I can't make this shit up. Who even says it like that "Lick penis" he should go choke on one. Hell he probably secretly likes it. However, I digress. He was hitting me with this reflex band, it didn't hurt of course, but he it was most definitely bothering me. I was dressed as Jesus and taking pictures with my other friends, as this was Halloween and my school had a costume contest. When all of a sudden, this group of boys start harassing us, filming me, walking along side me, hell the guy even tried panting me. They were about to throw a rock, or possibly rocks, at me until I made the joke "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"
There are no depths too low, that these people won't stoop down to, just to what? To harass little old me? A tiny little gay, such as I? I started walking home, as why wouldn't I? I have no interest in staying, and being harassed. So i kept walking, and he caught up to us, did a stupid little run back, he was so disproportionately out of breath to the distance he was running. He ran maybe 20-30 yards and was out of breath when he came close to us. There was a lot of back and forth, my friend, this giant guy who does Taekwando, one of my best friends since forever, stepped in and restrained him. Just pushed him back, or held him back so that he wouldn't charge at me. I thank him, oh I am oh so grateful for what he has done for me over the years. I'm quite tiny, and skinny, which makes me a bully's wet dream. So a guy, about my height (although maybe a little shorter), two years younger than me, 20 lbs heavier, wanted to fight me. Why?
Who knows? He's been calling me a homosexual, he's been taunting me, and when I ask why. He says it's cuz I'm gay. I ask if it's because of some religion, he just says, It's because you're gay.
I'm going crazy, these scenarios in my head, god, I usually have a knife on me. Didn't today thank god. I wonder what would have happened if I was carrying the knife I use for crafts today. What monstrosity would I commit? Would I commit any at all?
One day, I'll break, one more cycle of this back and forth with different bullies with the same damn faces. I've been spit at, stepped on, pants-ed, hit, choked. I'll survive. I always will, until I don't.
Yoga.
I need my peace, after having reached my phone after this whole ordeal, I went home, put out my yoga mat, and I felt like I could breathe again for the first time since that moment in school. Doing yoga is like learning to breathe again. I could finally breathe. Me, myself, and some herbal tea.
