And now, I present the greatest Castlevania Season 4 YouTube Comment String Ever (SPOILER ALERT)
Trevor: (thinking) What did I fuck myself into?!!
Oh hey! It’s me! Cool!

Andulka
Three Goblin Art
Xuebing Du
i don't do bad sauce passes

tannertan36
No title available
AnasAbdin

@theartofmadeline

Love Begins

Janaina Medeiros
Mike Driver
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n

Discoholic 🪩
Show & Tell

JVL
Keni
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
seen from United States

seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Spain
seen from Romania

seen from United States

seen from Spain
seen from Colombia
seen from Sweden
seen from Romania
seen from Malaysia
@someguynamedstevewrites
And now, I present the greatest Castlevania Season 4 YouTube Comment String Ever (SPOILER ALERT)
Trevor: (thinking) What did I fuck myself into?!!
Oh hey! It’s me! Cool!
Submitted for your approval...
The year is 2020.
For the people residing in the United States of America, it was a year so awful and so complex that it felt like a decade condensed into a single calendar.
A Global Pandemic
An Election
Protests in the Streets
And multiple other crises.
Yet despite all the mania and madness that swept across the nation like a bitter cold wind, mankind has survived to see another year.
Starting today, people around the United States are tuning in for an annual tradition that has existed since some of them were but wee children.
In the comfort of their homes, they turn on their television sets and tune to the channel that used to be the much more properly named Sci-Fi Channel.
There they are comfortably disturbed by the dulcet monotonous voice of Rod Serling as he leads everything on a marathon through...
...The Twilight Zone.
https://youtu.be/8fpxhQgmqy0
By the time they are finished running through this marathon, it will be a brand new year. A year that hopefully will no longer be in...
...The Twilight Zone
I understand that you need time with UHG, however what happened to chapter 27 of the main series? Did it get deleted?
Deleted? Hmm... I’ll look into that; see if I can compile a list of links to the stories.
Is Unwanted House Guest still being made? Or did you guys stop it, I don’t know if you already said it but I’m just curious
It’s still being made. I have the ending all planned out and have already started gotten a start on it. Problem is I’m an adult and can’t devote as much time to writing as I’d like to. On top of that, I was in a car accident at the start of August and got two broken bones and a sprained ankle. And if that wasn’t enough, one of the bones is my fifth right metacarpal which puts my hand in a cast which means I can’t type on a computer. I can type on a phone okay, like I’m doing now, but to really format it right, I need my PC. Rest assured, I do plan to finish it. I don’t want to leave it incomplete.
My Roommate is an Apparition: WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A DAD - Part 2
Based on characters created by @reddpenn
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Oh man, am I late on posting this. So many things going on. Not to mention figuring out how to follow up the first part.
It seems people really like the first-person narration from “A-Pink-Ciation of Culture”, so I went with that again with this piece.
Almost DAILY, I get likes or re-blogs and the occasional follower despite not having posted anything since March. I’m very curious and would like to hear from you readers about what you like about my writing and what appeals to you. Eventually, I want to make a living off of writing, but until that time, I definitely could use any and all feedback.
Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, on with the story!
2020 gothic
- you join a zoom call. everyone’s mic is muted, but no one is talking anyway. you stare at the squares with faces in them. which is your face? you can’t be sure.
- the news is full of numbers. you try to learn what they mean, but the articles are full of jargon from fields you have no experience in, and you swear the numbers change when you blink.
- you wake up. you sleep. you wake up. you sleep. how many days was that? you have no idea.
- you go for a walk. a shadow follows you down the street, moving when you move, stopping when you stop. always the recommended six feet away.
- every day you get several emails from corporations you’ve never heard of. each company name sounds fake, too vague, too optimistic. “Stay healthy! :)” they say. “We’re committed to keeping you safe! You must stay healthy! We love you very much! We learned everything about you so we can keep you safe! Please believe us we love you so much we’ r e , s 0Rry:):)):))” You try to unsubscribe, but the link just takes you to a blank black webpage. Suddenly, you can make out your reflection in the screen. What’s that over your shoulder?
- you’ve been wearing the same clothes for days, but somehow there is laundry.
- You work from home, and have been for the last six years. You still have a job, still get a paycheck (meager as it may be), and still get benefits. For many, the pandemic has chaotically disrupted their lives. For you, it’s just Tuesday.
- The Internet stops working at your home. You call your Internet Service Provider to try and get it repaired. The phone tells you that there is a five hour wait time. Sunova…
- The streets are mostly empty. Storefront parking lots are practically deserted save for a few stores that remain open. You drive looking for signs of- WHAT THE F@!* BUDDY!? DID THE PANDEMIC CAUSE EVERYONE TO FORGET HOW TO F@!*$%# DRIVE!? USE YOUR DAMN TURN SIGNALS, STUPID!
- You’ve had a backlog of video games to play for the longest time. But now, the impossible is happening: it’s shrinking.
- You live in an apartment building with seven floors and several families. Many days, you could hear kids outside cheerfully talking and playing with each other. You still hear them, but now the noise of laughing children is coming from the hallways. And at all hours throughout the day and night. You really wish they’d shut up so you can sleep.
My Roommate is an Apparition: WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A DAD - Part 1
Based on characters created by @reddpenn
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Want write castlevainia one shot fics but don’t know what kinda prompt to do 😔
Let’s try this:
In a small cottage out on the outskirts of a forest in Wallachia, a rather gruff looking man with brown hair is sitting on a tree stump holding a large, leather bound book in one arm, and a small infant cradled comfortably in the other. He turns the page and points to something in the book.
“Here we go. Do you know what this is?” the man playfully asks the baby.
The baby responds with a few coos and other general baby noises.
“That’s an Ukoback! See the little spoon holding the fire there?”
The baby giggles.
“Yes! It is silly isn’t it! Burns pretty badly, but still silly.”
“Trevor!” a woman’s voice calls out from a small distance away, “Where are you!?”
“Over here Sypha!” Trevor calls out, calling out to the blonde haired woman behind him. She’s dressed in her blue Speaker’s robe to keep warm against the autumn winds as she walks towards her husband. He’s wearing the same fur cloak he had when Sypha first met him. As she suspected, she sees their son being held in Trevor’s arms.
“What are you doing out here?” she asks.
“Watching the baby, just like you asked me to,” he responds back.
“Yes, I can see that,” Sypha retorted, “I meant what are you reading there?” Sypha leans over his shoulder to try and see what he’s holding.
“Just a little something my father read to me when I was a babe. It’s somewhat of a Belmont family tradition.”
Sypha snatches the book from Trevor’s hand and looks at the cover. Her eyes grow to the size of dinner plates as she snaps at him, “THE BELMONT FAMILY BESTIARY!?”
“Of course! My grandfather read that to my father, and my great-grandfather read it to my grandfather... figured I might as well continue the tradition,” Trevor casually replies.
Sypha flips through the book and finds several illustrations of terrifying demons, hideous monsters, and abominations against God. Each page has detailed information on the specific creature’s weaknesses, strengths, and how to use them to one’s advantage in battle. Sypha’s eye begins to twitch as she glares at Trevor.
“Do you SERIOUSLY think anything in here is appropriate to share with a BABY! He’s not even 6 months old yet!” Sypha harped, “You’re going to give him nightmares showing him this!”
“Don’t worry. We already covered Nightmares on Page 83. They really aren’t that difficult to deal with,” Trevor said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT YOU-” Sypha practically hisses before taking a deep exasperated sigh, “Aren’t there any other books you could read to him?”
Trevor looks mildly annoyed at his wife who is clearly upset with him. “Sypha, you know I still haven’t gotten the hang of the whole ‘reading thing’ yet. I mean, don’t get me wrong, your lessons have been a godsend, but I needed something simple to share with Ralph here.”
Sypha continued to glare at her bonehead of a husband, “You call THIS simple?!”
“It had more pictures in it than any of the other books!” Trevor protested.
Sypha began to question the wisdom in asking Alucard to send over some books from the Belmont family estate, and made a mental note to ask him to see if he could find any normal children’s books to send next time.
Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 5
Believe it or not, this story is based on characters created by @tamarinfrog , @searching-for-bananaflies , @cafe-cardamari , @bottledupcomic , etc.
And based on the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.
Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 4
Should probably mention that this is based on characters created by @tamarinfrog , @searching-for-bananaflies , @cafe-cardamari , @bottledupcomic , etc.
And based on the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.
My Roommate is an Apparition: An Apparition A-Pink-ciation of Culture
Based on characters created by @reddpenn
Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 3
Based on the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.
And includes a cameo of a character created by @tamarinfrog , @searching-for-bananaflies , @cafe-cardamari , @bottledupcomic , and more!
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Twenty minutes earlier, in the Salmon Run Ladies Changing Rooms, a slightly older Octoling girl had just finished styling a younger Octoling’s tentacles into a ponytail.
<There you go,> said the older of the two girls, <All done.>
<Thanks, Nalini,> the younger Octoling said with a smile to her older sister.
<Ready for your first Salmon Run?> Nalini asked.
<Well...> the younger Octoling hesitated. <...kind of. I’m a little nervous, though.>
<Don’t you worry, Lajni,> Nalini said with a smile, <I’ll keep you safe.>
Lajni gave a warm smile back to her older sister just as another Octoling with an Afro barged in with a self-assured grin on his face. <Not to worry, sis!> the boy boasted, <I’ll take care of those Salmonids so fast, you won’t even know they’re there!>
The two girls’ faces blushed a crimson red as they rushed towards the Octoling boy. <AADI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? THIS IS THE LADIES ROOM!> Nalini shouted as she began to drag the boy out.
<YEAH! You can’t be in here!> Lajni said as she pushed against her older brother.
<Okay! Okay! I get it! You can get your hands off me!> Aadi complained.
The door to the Ladies Changing Room opened with a shove as Nalini dragged Aadi out by his shirt collar. The three were now all dressed and ready to go, but Nalini still had a few words to say.
<You’re lucky no one else was in there, otherwise you would have been in even more trouble!> Nalini scolded, <Don’t you know it’s rude to enter places you aren’t supposed to be in!?>
<I’M SORRY ALREADY!> Aadi whined, <How else was I supposed to check on you!? You two we’re taking forever in there!>
<You could have texted us from your OctoPod!> pointed out Nalini.
Aadi looked like he had just been hit over the head with an epiphany, <Oh... right! I forgot about that!>
Nalini sighed and looked at her two younger siblings. While Lajni was fourteen, and Aadi was fifteen, the two of them still acted like little kids. A smile spread over Nalini’s face as she remembered what brought them all here today.
At seventeen, Nalini was the oldest of the three siblings and had taken it upon herself to look after her beloved little brother and sister. After the first failed attempt to capture the Great Zapfish, and after escaping from his snow globe prison, D.J. Octavio began recruiting Octarians left and right. Nalini signed up for training to become an Octoling soldier in hopes of supporting Lajni and Aadi and keeping them from having to serve in the Octarian Army.
Before Nalini completed her training to enter active combat, D.J. Octavio’s plans were thwarted and he was defeated a second time. Soon after, the influence of the Squid Sisters and their music spread throughout Octarian society; moving the hearts of many. Even though D.J. Octavio had kidnapped and brainwashed Callie, one of the Squid Sisters, she bore no ill will towards the Octarians and made great efforts to foster peace between them after her rescue. Finally, the Tartar Sauce incident brought Inklings and Octolings together against a common enemy; forging a new era of peace and prosperity for both species.
Nalini never completed her training, and deep down, she was glad that she didn’t. She could now spend more time with her family and take comfort knowing that Lajni and Aadi would never have to fight in a Great Turf War like their ancestors did. The three Octoling siblings even began making trips to Inkopolis to make new friends and try new things. It was a good time to be alive.
Unfortunately, taking care of two younger siblings required money. While the Turf War League was the best way for kids and young adults to make money in Inkopolis Square, Nalini wasn’t comfortable with it since she couldn’t stand the thought of slinging ink against fellow Octolings, or even Inklings. The Grizzco Salmon Runs, however, let Nalini put the training she received to good use, and make some money without raising a weapon against her people or the people that made up her new friends.
After four Salmon Runs, Nalini still hadn’t made much money, and her younger brother and sister were eager to help her in her work so that they could get by. Lajni just turned fourteen, and Aadi had been wanting to show off what he could do ever since he was twelve. This was going to be Nalini’s fifth Salmon Run, and the first for Aadi and Lajni.
The three Octolings stepped onto the Spawn Point that would launch them to the Grizzco boat that was off the shore of Marooner’s Bay. Lajni, feeling a little nervous, took Nalini’s hand in hers and held on to it with a little squeeze. Nalini squeezed back to let her sister know everything was going to be okay. A few seconds later, the spawn point powered on and launched the three Octolings to their destination.
In what seemed like no time at all, the three Octolings appeared on a different spawn pad several miles away from where they started. Lajni felt a little woozy and clutched her sister’s hand tighter than before to make sure she didn’t fall down. As she regained her bearings, she took a look at who her older brother and sister were staring at. In front of them was a tall, lanky Inkling with purple tentacles. He was wearing the exact same uniform they were wearing and had a no-nonsense expression. His eyes widened when he saw the three siblings and Lajni thought she saw the color drain from his face.
Lajni stepped behind her sister, feeling embarrassed that she didn’t know how to speak Inklish. Aadi did the same as Nalini was the only one who had studied it, and she wasn’t entirely fluent either. The eldest of the three Octolings swallowed hard as she extended a slightly nervous hand in greeting.
“Heh-“ Nalini stuttered. “Hello. I am Nalini. It is... pleasure to meet you.”
The tall Inkling reached out, firmly clasped Nalini’s hand in theirs, and gave it a hearty shake. His grip wasn’t too tight or too loose, and his shake could be measured as precisely in the middle of the two extremes: “trying to tear your arm off” and “I don’t even care enough about this greeting to move a muscle”. It was, for all accounts, a genuine handshake. Nalini would have felt more reassured by it if not for the Inkling’s slasher smile that was stretched across their face and the shrunken pupils.
“HI!” he said loudly with a hint of madness. “I’M SCREWED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY! PLEASED TO MEET YOU!”
...To Be Continued...
Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 2
Based on characters by @tamarinfrog , @cafe-cardamari , @bottledupcomic , @searching-for-bananaflies , and how many more blogs of theirs?
And the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.
———————————
About an hour later, at a spawn point on a small boat floating in a sea of dark green water, Arnick materialized out of seemingly thin air. Long distance transport was always a bit disorienting, but Arnick got his balance and sea legs in quick order. He’d done his fair share of salmon runs already (earning enough to keep Tetrox from eating him out of house and home), but it had been a few months since Arnick last took on a Salmon Run job.
“Hey! Welcome back, kid!” came the grizzled voice of Mr. Grizz. Arnick looked over to a small table where a little wooden bear statue with a radio antennae sticking out was sitting. Like everyone else, Arnick had never seen Mr. Grizz first hand, but his voice was unmistakable.
“Good evening, Mr. Grizz,” Arnick replied professionally and politely.
“Surprised to see you here,” said the voice coming from the bear statue, “Last I heard, you and your team just hit the big league! That not working out for you?”
“Hmph,” Arnick huffed but with a half-smile, “I had no idea you followed Turf Wars.”
“Only when some of my best employees are out there playing,” the statue complimented.
“I’m flattered!” Arnick responded with a smile. Mr. Grizz was being awfully nice today. Almost too nice. “But contrary to what you may be thinking, being in the highest echelon of the Professional Turf War League has been nothing short of a smashing success!”
“You don’t say?” questioned the bear (statue), “So what brings you by today?”
“As it so happens, I’m in need of some extra funds to cover some personal expenses,” Arnick explained honestly without going into too much detail, “and doing a few Salmon Runs should get me what I need by the time I need it.”
“I see,” the bear statue said as the person behind the statue thought to themselves. Mr. Grizz remembered the time when Arnick led a Salmon Run team to capture more than 100 Golden Eggs in a single wave. It was one of the most profitable days in the company’s history, so Mr. Grizz had a special task in mind for Arnick today. “In that case, I think I got just the thing!”
“Oh?” Asked Arnick.
“This is a special job that I’ve been saving for when someone...” Mr. Grizz paused briefly to find the right encouraging word, “...talented stopped by. And lucky for me, here you are!”
“You’re much too kind, sir,” Arnick thanked his employer. He knew Mr. Grizz was buttering him up for something, but wasn’t sure what the mysterious voice behind the bear had up its sleeve. Arnick then looked around and realized what was missing from the boat. “It seems my fellow team mates haven’t arrived yet. There wasn’t anything wrong with transmitting them here, was there?”
“Not at all,” said the voice coming from the wood carving, “They’re still back at the changing rooms getting their assigned uniforms.” Arnick was wearing the very same standard issue uniform. It consisted of green rain slick boots, orange overalls, a white T-shirt underneath, green rubber gloves, black suspenders, and a cap with the company logo on the front. But it was something Mr. Grizz said just then that gave Arnick a clue to what the person behind the bear was up to.
“Getting their assigned uniforms?” he asked with a very strong emphasis on the “getting” part. “You don’t mean...?”
A boisterous laugh came through the speaker on the statue. “Sharp as a tack as always! You got it! They’re new hires!”
Arnick felt his heart sink. There were few things in life more frustrating than dealing with rookies. Trying to manage a randomly assigned group that’s fresh on the boat was about as easy as herding Judds. Arnick spoke the first thing that came to his mind which was, “Mr. Grizz, did I do something wrong? Have I upset you in some way!?”
“What!? No!” the bear exclaimed then explained, “Remember that time you and your pals got me a hundred golden eggs?” asked Mr. Grizz, “Back then, you guys worked together like a well-oiled machine. I want to see if you can work that kind of magic again with some fresh faces.”
Arnick did remember, but he also remembered that he was partnered with everyone else in Team Toxic on that day. The only reason they worked so well together was because of all the training and combined experience they had. Arnick raised an eyebrow, “Is this a test?”
“More like a performance evaluation,” the bear (statue) emphasized, “You whip these kids into shape and there’s a nice big bonus in it for yah!”
“Hmm...” Arnick mused to himself with a frown. While working with new recruits would make things more difficult, the potential bonus could be worth the effort. But on the other hand, he only had until midnight to get the funds he needed. Then again, Mr. Grizz wouldn’t be pairing Arnick up with these new recruits unless he thought Arnick could handle it.
Then a small smile began to spread as Arnick’s eyes seemed to sparkle as it dawned on him: this was a LEADERSHIP position! No being bossed around by Belladonna! No mockery from Tetrox! No cold shoulders or dismissals from Cyanthia! Finally, Arnick would be working with people that actually respected him and acknowledged his capability as a leader!
“Alright,” Arnick said confidently after he made up his mind, “But don’t expect me to go easy on them.”
Behind Arnick, the spawn point powered on as the three newbies materialized. Arnick turned around and felt his heart sink even further, all the way to the toes of his feet. His pupils shrunk and a cold sweat broke out over his forehead. He knew being in charge of new recruits would be difficult, but these weren’t just any new recruits...
...they were all Octolings.
Mr. Grizz responded to Arnick over the radio, “I wouldn’t have it any other way!”
...To Be Continued
Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 1
Based on characters created by @tamarinfrog (a.k.a. @searching-for-bananaflies , a.k.a. @cafe-cardamari , a.k.a. @bottledupcomic , a.k.a. OH MY GOD Tammy, just how many more blogs do you have!? I mean, I’m not one to talk, but...)
And the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.
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A brief primer on Unwanted House Guest:
Began this Fanfiction series back in the Fall of 2015.
Multiple entries in the series were submitted to Tammy’s blogs for posting.
Feel free to search Tammy’s blogs for “Unwanted House Guest” for previous entries in the series.
Now on with the story!
——————————
“YOU WANT HOW MUCH!?”
Arnick shouted from nearly the top of his lungs. Every Inkling and Octoling in Inkopolis Square turned to look at the small bench near the lobby entrance for Turf Wars. There, everyone saw a tall, lanky, Inkling male with purple tentacles wearing a replica hero jacket and with a Legendary Cap on his head. It was an older cap with some sewn on patches and a hole to let the Inkling’s tentacles out through the top of the hat. Upon recognizing who it was, about a third of the people turned back to minding their own business because they were rather accustomed to the ear-splitting din that Arnick Stilton was known for.
“You heard me, chum,” Murch shot back, “100,000 G! Take it or leave it.”
Arnick was gritting his teeth, clenching his fists, and looking like his hat was going to pop off his head. The 21-year old Inkling had been searching for months for a very particular item. He regularly browsed through Annie’s Online Shop, checked every retail store daily since Squiddoween, and constantly asked about it from the local (shady) “gear specialist”: Murch. After going for so long without any luck, Arnick even went so far as to try and craft it himself, but couldn’t get the ability chunks necessary to finish it.
Now it was being held ransom by a puny little one-eyed street urchin.
“You have any idea how hard it was to find this thing, chum?” Murch continued with a small hint of indignity, “Spyke had to ask somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody whose cousin’s sister-in-law’s brother’s uncle happened to have one tucked away in a box at a garage sale out in Calamari County!”
“Yeah, right...” Arnick said in about a 50/50 split between disbelief and sarcasm. He grabbed his iSquid and opened up the app for his bank account. His winnings had increased since Team Toxic’s recent entrance into the highest level of professional Turf War. This was a great honor as they were now being matched up against the most experienced players; some of who had been engaging in Turf Wars for decades. But Arnick still had rent, utility bills, credit card payments, grocery expenses, and other debts that needed paying.
Doing a quick check of his bank balance, Arnick saw that he had exactly 567,902 G in the bank, but by Arnick’s calculations, only 50,000 G of that would be considered “available”. Sure, Arnick had the 100,000 G in his bank account, but if he spent it now, one or more of the payments Arnick had scheduled to go through could bounce. This would lead to a Non-Sufficient Fund (NSF) fee from the bank, and a whole new level of headache that Arnick did not want to deal with. (Especially since Tetrox gave him enough of a headache anyway. Arnick couldn’t count the number of times she’d swiped his credit cards to buy ridiculous things online).
“Hey,” Murch called up to the tall, penny-pinching grouch, “you want this or not?”
“Yes of course I want it, you pipsqueak!” Arnick said with frustration in his voice (which was nothing new), “Is there any way I can pick it up tomorrow?”
“No can do, chum,” Murch said with a shake of his head, “I’m a busy guy here and gear like this is hot stuff! If you don’t buy this, I’m going to have to trash it.”
“WHAT!? You said it yourself this thing was difficult to get, and you’re going to throw it away just like that!?” questioned Arnick.
“Look, chum, I only got so much inventory space here,” Murch said gesturing to his case sitting on the bench behind him, “I can hold this for you up until midnight tonight, but after that, this gear is gone.”
Murch then raised his solitary eyebrow as he took a peak at the precious gear in the case. “Still,” he said, “why would an uptight guy like you want this bo-“
“SSHHHHHHHHHUSH!”
Arnick hissed, almost shoving his hand over Murch’s mouth to keep him quiet. He then looked around him, cautiously, to see if anyone had seen or heard anything. Everyone in the Square was either staring at or side-eyeing Arnick, but mostly because his outbursts were giving them a scare. No matter how many times Arnick blew his top, the folks that inhabited Inkopolis Square would still jump from his outbursts. (Many of them were getting rather tired of it.)
“What was that for, chum!?” Asked an annoyed Murch.
“I don’t want anyone finding out I’m getting this, you dimwit!” Arnick pleaded.
“Why wouldn’t you-“ Murch’s single eye popped wide open as it hit him. He then slowly turned towards Arnick with a big, smug smile on his face. His eye now had a look to it as if it was saying “I see what you did there”. Arnick had seen that look before and dreaded what was coming.
“Ohhhhhh,” Murch said with a sneaky smile, “this is a gift for someone, isn’t it?”
“Your point?” Arnick snapped back, feeling rather annoyed.
“You sly sea dog!” Murch said while giving a small elbow jab to Arnick’s leg, “Don’t you worry about a thing! Your secret’s safe with me.” His gesture was meant to be a knowing jab to the ribs, but given Murch’s height, Arnick’s leg was the best he could reach.
Arnick looked left, then right, then left again. By now, the eyes of the square were no longer on him and Murch. Arnick guessed that everyone was likely thinking: “OH MY COD! WHAT WA- Oh it’s just Arnick! False Alarm!” before going back to whatever it was they were doing. (He was right too.) In a quiet voice, Arnick responded with, “It had better be safe, or so help me, if this gets out...”
“Relax, chum!” Murch said with a smile, “all I need is that 100,000 G and you won’t hear a peep out of me!”
Arnick growled to himself. He absolutely hated the idea of having an overdraft fee affecting his credit score. But at the same time, he had been searching for this gear for so long that he just couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. His mind raced through possible solutions when suddenly the hour changed and the new Turf War maps were announced by Inkopolis’ latest shining stars: Off the Hook. The volume on the large Jumbo-Tron size TV in the square cranked itself up for the news segment.
“Y’all check this out!” the energetic Pygmy Inkling named Pearl called out over the airwaves, “Our sponsor Grizzco is now hiring for Salmon Runs!” She then looked over to her co-host, the Octoling named Marina, who was looking into the camera with a big smile.
“Big Money? Big Prizes? I love it!” The cheerful Octoling expertly said after reading it from the teleprompter. Arnick was certain this was an obscure reference to something. He also wagered that line was written by his old nemesis: “that guy named Steve”. Arnick recalled Steve saying something about how he was taking on some additional work responsibilities at the Turf War League the two of them bickered (and it was always bickering). Arnick didn’t have the foggiest idea what the reference was to, but he didn’t care...
...he just got a brilliant idea.
Turning to Murch, Arnick smiled unusually wide. “100,000 G by midnight!? No problem!” Arnick said confidently, “Hang on to it and I’ll be back with your money in no time.”
“Alright,” Murch nodded, “But remember, when I say midnight, I mean Midnight! If you ain’t here by 12:00 on the dot, then this...” Murch hesitated when Arnick gave him the stink eye (while still smiling, no less) to remind him to keep this under wraps, “...gear goes bye-bye.”
Arnick gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up and a toothy grin that almost sparkled. “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!” Arnick said assuredly before spinning around and marching towards the Salmon Run Office.
Murch called out, “YOU DO KNOW IT WILL BE TOO LATE BY THEN, RIGHT!?”
Arnick turned around and hollered back, “IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!”
To Be Continued...
My Roommate is an Apparition: Saturday Morning Cartoon Complaints
Based on characters created by @reddpenn
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There once was a lonely apparition that haunted an apartment in an old building. No one knew where it came from, how it came to be, or why it was there. In fact, nobody knew the spooky specter actually existed since nobody could see it. Eventually, the apparition met someone who could see them, and they were no longer lonely. But before that, there were a few instances where the incorporeal creature made contact with human beings.
This is one of those stories.
It was September 20th, 1997, and Terrence “Terry” Vanderbrook was working as an operator for a local CBS Network Affiliate. He spent his days making sure that people calling into the station were directed to where they needed to go, and also screening out any unwanted calls. Regardless if they were folks calling in to speak to the news team about breaking news, people wanting to partner with the station for a special event, or for any other reason, Terry took care of them all.
One call, in specific, would go down as one Terry would remember for the rest of his years. (Mostly because he wasn’t sure if it actually happened or not).
“Thank you for calling your local CBS station, W.O.-“ Terry began to say before being cut off.
“Where...?” came a voice that sounded like breath on the wind.
“I’m sorry?” Terry asked.
“Where... are they...?” the raspy voice asked.
In the couple of years Terry had been a phone operator, he received more than his fair share of crank calls. Some were very obvious from the get go, while others were subtle and not quite as apparent. On occasion, a call might start off sounding like a prank, but actually turn out to be a legitimate call. Terry learned that the hard way after being berated by a 76- year old woman who was calling to complain about a breaking news report interrupting Diagnosis: Murder. On that day, Terry learned never to underestimate the appeal of Dick Van Dyke to seniors.
Still, uncertain if this was a prank or not, Terry did exactly what he was trained to do: proceed in a professional and courteous manner while trying to obtain more information to determine the needs of the caller. (At least until he was sure whether this call was genuine or not.)
“What can I help you find today?” Terry responded with a smile in his voice (as outlined in the Employee Handbook for Telephone Operators, page 12).
The raspy voice spoke a little louder to get its point across, “Car... TOONS!!!”
“Cartoons?”
“Where. Are. The. Car. Tooooons!?” the voice demanded.
Terry looked over at the small calendar on his desk. It was Saturday. “Oh! You mean the Saturday Morning Cartoons?”
“Yesssssss...” the voice said with a hiss.
“Give me one second,” Terry said as he began to type away at the keyboard to his Windows 95 work computer. Connecting to the network’s server, Terry began searching for and pulling up the schedule for the day’s channel listings. A memo had circulated around the office not too long ago about changes to the channel lineup this fall, but Terry hadn’t paid too much attention to it. He still hadn’t gotten the hang of the search function for his e-mail just yet.
“I’m... waaaaaaaaaiiiii... tiiiiiiiiinnnnngggg,” the voice said as nasally and obnoxious as possible.
“Hang on, kid, I almost got it,” Terry shot back. At this point, he figured the caller was some kid, probably sick in bed (which would explain the raspy voice), hoping to watch their Saturday Morning Cartoons and having trouble with it. (Terry was way off the mark, but he didn’t know that).
While the inter-network speeds within the CBS station’s computer network were much faster than the new 56 Kbps speeds Terry got on his dial-up modem back home, it still took a while to get to the shared network folder that contained the spreadsheet containing the day’s programming lineup. With a double-click, Terry opened up Excel 95 and saw...
“Oh...”
Terry bit his lip and breathed in through his teeth. He always hated calls like this; calls where he had to be the unfortunate bearer of bad news. The person on the other end of the line NEVER took it well. It would lead to lots of yelling, screaming, and demands to speak to his manager. And that was when Terry was speaking to full grown adults, so he was rightfully concerned about the kind of tantrum a sick child could produce.
“I’m sorry,” Terry said with regret, “but it looks like the CBS Kidz programming block has been replaced with CBS News Saturday Morning and a rerun of The Andy Griffith Show.”
————————————-
Due to the nature of the apparition’s existence, it was debatable whether or not it was actually “alive”. Considering the facts, it had been “born” a few years ago and hadn’t “lived” for very long by the time it made this phone call. Furthermore, during the time in between, it experienced emotions such as happiness, sadness, inquisitiveness, and many more.
But this was the first time the apparition became truly angry!
The apparition was frowning. It’s worth mentioning this, because before now, the apparition had never, ever frowned. Its face was no longer smiling, or expressionless like a confused child, like it had been for every day since the apparition began its existence. It was consciously moving the non-existent muscles on its face to move downward to express just how angry it was. Its sharp teeth were on full display like a snarling beast. To say it was not a pretty sight would have been an understatement.
The ethereal hand that had been twirling the coils of the telephone cord was now clutching the phone book as tightly as it could. Visions of cartoon characters expressing their anger whirled through the apparition’s head as it began to conjugate steam out of its non-existent ears. The apparition could not find the words to express the outrage it felt, so it did something else to vent its frustration.
It made a wooden chair suddenly fly through the air at one-hundred and twenty miles per hour into a wall.
*CRASH*
————————————-
The sound of wood smashing and splintering could be heard over the phone, and nearly made Terry jump out of his chair.
“WHOA! Kid, are you okay!?” Terry asked with genuine concern.
“BAAAAACK!!!” the apparition practically screamed. Its voice had distorted and sounded sinister; carrying a demonic reverb.
“...BRING! THEM! BAAAAAACK!!!”
“Poor kid,” Terry thought to himself, “they are definitely not taking this well.”
If it had been anyone else other than Terry taking that call, the horrific voice over the phone likely would have scared them out of their pants by now. But he was a veteran at handling the phone and this was not the first time someone used a voice distorter on a call. It was the first time a kid had used one (as far as he knew), but Terry had seen the toy commercials for “YakBak” on TV and knew that any kid with one could do funny things to their voice.
“Listen,” Terry said calmly, “I understand you’re disappointed, but that’s no reason to break things and throw a fit. You might hurt yourself or make yourself even sicker.”
————————————-
The frown had vanished from the apparition’s face. In its place was a look of sheer confusion. This was definitely not the reaction the apparition was expecting when they made this phone call.
The last time the apparition used its scary voice was back when the previous apartment tenants were talking about getting rid of their TV. To keep that from happening, the apparition practiced hard on finding the best voice it could mimic that would “persuade” the residents living there at the time to keep it. It even figured out how it could project its voice into any electronic device with a speaker to create an even more haunting effect (and to make sure the people there could actually hear its demands).
It worked, but it worked a little too well.
Shortly after the apparition began to actively haunt its oblivious roommates, the tenants packed up and moved out in a hurry, leaving their furniture and appliances behind. This included the 32” CRT TV that the apparition was fond of, and a landline telephone. The apparition didn’t care much for the phone line since they were happy just having the TV all to themselves twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. (Plus, they didn’t have anyone to call or talk on the phone to, anyway.)
At least they were happy until about a week ago, when the Saturday Morning Cartoons were a complete no show for the first time in years.
But the apparition had seen shows come and go, television programming blocks change for no apparent reason, occasional weather alert bulletins interrupting their cartoons, and some of their favorite cartoons canceled. They learned patience, understanding, and compromise from these experiences. Just because there were no cartoons that week didn’t mean that there wouldn’t be cartoons next week.
Two weeks without cartoons, however, simply would not do.
The apparition scoured the apartment for a phone book, concentrated on solidifying its fingertips to turn pages, located the phone number for the TV station, and dialed. It took a lot of effort for a ghostly being to make a phone call, and it was not about to let its efforts go to waste.
If the scary voice didn’t work, they’d have to take a different approach. It was time for Plan B.
————————————-
“...Sorry,” the apparition apologized, “...please... bring them... back?”
Terry sighed. He had kids of his own, and dealing with them could be a real challenge; especially when he couldn’t give them something they wanted. Once they realized throwing a tantrum fit wouldn’t work, they start trying to “bargain” just like the kid (who wasn’t actually a kid) that was on the phone.
“I’m sorry, kiddo, but it’s out of my hands,” Terry said using his “sympathetic Dad” voice, “I know it stinks, and if I could bring them back, I absolutely would.” After some frantic scrolling through his work e-mail inbox, he finally found the e-mail he was looking for. “But, thing is, we got to follow the rules from the FCC, so-“
“Eff... See... See?” the voice interrupted to ask.
“The Federal Communications Commission,” Terry explained, “You might not have learned about them in school yet, but they’re a part of the government. They make the rules we here at the TV stations got to follow, and one of those rules is to show three hours of educational programming, and the cartoons we had, well...” Terry tried to find a way to let the (not) kid down nicely, “...they just weren’t educational enough. That make sense?”
————————————-
It did not make sense. The Apparition had no idea what the heck the person on the other end of the phone line was talking about. All it knew was that they took away their cartoons and they weren’t going to give them back.
Taking a look at its transparent fingers, the apparition decided it was time to take matters into its own hands. They had tried scaring the person on the other end of the phone and they had tried asking nicely, but now it was time for plan C.
The apparition plunged its fingers into the tiny holes of the phone receiver. The phone was eventually engulfed in the apparition’s being and soon after that, the receiver began to slowly suck the apparition into it.
If someone walked into the room at that moment, and if that person could also see the apparition, they would see the lower half of a person’s body up to about their waist with the upper half crammed into a phone. It looked like a cartoon where someone had taken the receiver of a phone and hit someone over the head with it so hard that it jammed them inside.
Meanwhile, inside the phone, the apparition’s upper body stretched as it squeezed its way through the telephone cables. It wasn’t easy, and the apparition had never tried anything like this before, but it was filled with determination. Following the voice of the person on the other end of the phone, the apparition could feel itself getting closer and closer to its destination.
It smiled a sharp, toothy grin and created sharp claws on its hands in preparation for its arrival. Soon it would wreak havoc against those who had wronged it. They would rue the day they had taken away their source of Saturday Morning joy! It could see a light ahead of itself, and once it finally reached it, the apparition took its mangled, clawed hand and...
————————————-
*scritch*
“Ow,” Terry said as he pulled the phone away from his head. Something had just scratched him. Looking at the phone receiver, Terry blinked and then blinked again as he came to comprehend what he was looking at.
It was a very small, tiny hand with what looked like long fingernails poking out from one of the holes on the receiver. It flailed and strained as if it was trying to reach out but couldn’t get itself through. The closest thing Terry could liken it to was if a mouse or hamster had somehow gotten into the phone and was sticking its paw through the holes on the phone.
It was kind of adorable.
After a few seconds, the hand retracted into the phone. A second after that, Terry could have swore that he saw a tiny head poke out of one of the holes on the receiver. It had long hair, large eyes, no nose, and looked rather irritated. It struggled as it tried to pull itself out of the phone, but it just couldn’t budge.
Terry was quite sure he was seeing things. He wasn’t sure if it was because of something he ate, or from not getting enough sleep. The thought never entered his head that he was looking at a supernatural being that had shrunken its upper torso, shoved and stretched itself through the phone line, and was now trying to crawl its way out the other end. That would have been silly.
After a few more seconds of struggling, the apparition seemed to realize that this was not going to work and silently admitted defeat to itself. It looked up at the (relatively) gigantic face of Terry who was casually looking at the apparition without an ounce of fear, shock, or horror showing on his face. Without really thinking, Terry just looked at the tiny head poking out and just shrugged as though saying, “Sorry, can’t help yah there, bud”.
Dejectedly, the apparition pulled its head back inside the phone as Terry absentmindedly waved goodbye to it.
————————————-
Back in the apartment, the apparition pulled itself out from the phone and sighed. It held the phone up to its earless head to hear what the man on the other end had to say.
“So, uh...” the man said before a hesitant pause, “...I know this is going to sound crazy, but...” another pause as the man on the other end tried to put what just happened into words, “...did you just try and travel through the phones so you could claw at me?”
The apparition looked to the left, then looked to the right, and if it was capable of it, it would have broken out in a nervous sweat. Sheepishly, the apparition responded, “...yes,” with the same tone of voice a child would use if they had been caught eating cookies before dinner.
A slight pause before the man followed back with, “...didn’t really work out for you, did it?”
Again, sounding like a child that knew they were totally busted, the apparition responded, “...nooooo...”
There was another pause on the phone before the man on the other end eventually said, “Well... better luck next time.”
This call was starting to get extremely awkward as the apparition had no idea what was going to happen next.
After about a minute of silence (which is considered taboo among telephone operators) the man on the other end finally asked, “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
This was a battle the apparition had thoroughly lost, and it knew it. It was time to throw in the towel. With a depressed sigh, it responded back, “No... thank you”.
————————————-
Despite not being sure what exactly he just saw, Terry leaned forward in his chair and decided the very least he could do was offer some encouraging words. “I know you’re disappointed, and I get that. I really do. But other TV channels have cartoons too. You can always watch them there.”
“...yeah...” the voice responded.
“It’s not like all the cartoons in the world just suddenly vanished, right?”
“...I suppose...”
Terry was ready to wrap this call up and had his closing spiel all set to go. “We appreciate you caring enough to call in today and while I may not have been able to help you, I do hope you feel better soon. Okay?”
There was a moment of silence before the voice responded back, “...okay...”
“Thank you very much for calling CBS, and have a good rest of your day,” Terry said earnestly.
There was a click signaling the phone on the other end had disconnected. Terry hung up the phone on his end, leaned back in his office chair, and looked up to the ceiling.
At that exact same moment, the person they had been talking to just a minute ago thought the exact same thing as he did.
“Well... that was weird.”
Alternatives to "You meet in a tavern"... Reblog and add your own!
You all awaken, dazed and confused, locked in adjacent, subterranean prison cells.
You’ve been kidnapped and are currently on a ship to be sold as slaves.
You awaken in the back of a shaking horse drawn cart, your vision is blurry until you blink away the languid lingering fingers of unconsciousness. Then you hear a voice, it takes you a moment to process it through the thick fog of your recently awoken mind but you think you heard "Hey you. Youre finally awake."
You don’t remember what happened in the last 48 hours, and when you come to your senses, you’re sitting on a cold porcelain bowl in an unfamiliar bathroom stall. You feel relieved, but also at the same time have a sinking feeling you just shat so hard you gave yourself short term amnesia. Your only real comfort is that you made it to the bathroom okay.
What appears to be your coat is hanging off the hook on the backside of the stall door, and you’d like nothing more than to get up and start filling in this vacant gap in your memory. You reach out and discover that in whatever haze you were in, you made the big mistake of entering a bathroom stall with no toilet paper. Smooth move. Looks like you’re not going anywhere until you find some paper to clean yourself up.
You call out, “Hey, anyone got any toilet paper I can use?”
A voice comes from the stall next to you, “Wish I could help you, but I’m out too!”
You almost ask yourself “how could this situation be more awkward?” before stopping mid-sentence to prevent you from jinxing yourself.
“My Roommate is an Apparition” Christmas Special
Based on characters created by @reddpenn
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“It was a dark and cloudy evening on the twenty-ninth of November.
The end of a Black Friday the likes few would remember.
In an art supply store that can be found somewhere.
A person named Lily almost pulled out their hair.
With sale after sale, and all the price drops,
Poor Lily was tired. She wanted it to stop.
She dragged her feet one after another, with muscles so sore.
It felt like she walked a thousand miles to fall down at her door.
But now it was over, and at last she was free.
To veg out on her couch, and watch shows on TV.
But before she could indulge in being a couch potato,
There was still the matter of her roommate who...
...
Who...”
Lily tapped the pen against her chin as she tried to come up with a good word that rhymed with potato. Her head rested on a cushion against the arm rest of her couch as she slouched back; crossing one leg over the other. One of her spiral notebooks rested in her lap as she turned her head to look at her roommate.
The ghostly apparition stood motionless with a gaunt expression. Their eyes were wide with tiny pupils that somehow weren’t necessarily bloodshot, but at the same time, also bloodshot... but without the blood part. Their unkempt long hair fell down over their nearly non-existent shoulders and down their back, if you could call it that. Anyone who saw them standing next to them would likely jump out of their skin. If they could see them.
They were watching Spongebob Squarepants on Nickelodeon.
It was a rerun of the first episode, and the falsetto voice of Tiny Tim began to fill the apartment.
“Things that bother you Never bother me!
I feel happy and fine!
Living in the sunlight!
Loving in the moonlight!”
“Hav...ing... a... wonder... ful... time...”
Lily could tell the apparition was trying to sing along with its raspy voice. It sounded more like muttering under their breath, but it was clear what they were doing. It had to be difficult for it since they didn’t necessarily have lungs, vocal chords, or any other body parts usually involved with singing (as far as Lily knew). But despite that, it was still happy, bobbing their head slowly from side to side as they tried to keep up with the song.
Lily couldn’t help but think it was adorable; like a Pre-Schooler trying to sing along with their favorite cartoon.
It was the apparition’s scheduled cartoon time, and Lily had just come home after a very long morning, day, and night at work. As exhausting as working on Black Friday was, Lily was thankful to have a nice place to return to where she could unwind and relax. She was also thankful that the rent was surprisingly cheap too; what with the apartment being haunted and all.
She remembered the look on her landlord’s face when she signed the lease. It was a mixture of horror, surprise, and joy in response to finally finding someone willing to rent the apartment. Previous tenants would often report of strange things happening when they lived there. Their TV’s would turn on by themselves at random times. Sometimes the channels would change on their own, and whenever the tenant tried changing it back, they could hear an ethereal whisper demanding that they change the channel.
But Lily weren’t afraid of no ghosts, and took one of her first steps to independent living with dirt cheap rent.
A spooky chuckle came from her roommate as they watched Spongebob completely ruin Squidward’s day ...again. If not for the fact that Lily could see the pale, see-through entity that made that noise, she probably would have found the laughter rather creepy. But she didn’t, and in the spirit of the season, Lily mentally noted how she was thankful that she could see her specter of a roommate.
This train of thought led Lily back to one of the questions she had been asking herself for the past couple months: Why could she see the apparition when nobody else could?
Several possible answers ran through her head. Maybe she had secret powers that she wasn’t aware of? Maybe she was the “chosen” one, selected by the mysterious wraith to be the only person that could see them? Or maybe there was something about them that made them kindred spirits in a way? And if so, what tied them together?
Lily’s train of thought was derailed by the sudden commercial break on the TV, signaling that Spongebob had ended, and Lily knew what that meant. It was finally her turn to have the TV!
“Okay, show’s over. Now it’s my turn to watch something.”
Lily’s roommate gave a disappointed sigh as Lily snatched up the remote and changed the channel to CBS. It was prime time and time for some Hawaii Five-O. Sure it wasn’t the most mentally stimulating television program out there and one could argue it had the same level of intellect as Spongebob, but it was what Lily wanted to watch and watch it she would!
Or at least that would have been the case if not for a tiny spanner in the works. What greeted Lily after changing the channel was not Hawaii Five-O, but a familiar sight that Lily had not seen for a long, long time. Bongos could be heard as the word “Special” spun around colorfully on the screen before resting in place and showing “A CBS Special Presentation”.
A bright blue background with images of snowflakes falling appeared on the TV screen, accompanied by a calming, familiar, song.
“Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, bring your light
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome in the cold of night.”
“No kidding...” Lily said to herself in amazement. She hadn’t seen How The Grinch Stole Christmas in years. And it wasn’t the live action remake with Jim Carrey or the newer animated movie with Benedict Cumberbatch either. It was the genuine, original, Chuck Jones animated TV special with Boris Karloff narrating.
Lily remembered watching this on TV with her parents when she was little. It was one of the many Christmas specials that would air instead of the usual TV programming at night, and was just the thing for a 8-year old to enjoy before being tucked into bed for a 9 PM bedtime. Fond memories of the Christmas Tree in the living room, glowing with lights, and a stack of presents underneath it came flooding back to her in a wave of nostalgia.
It wasn’t Hawaii Five-O, but Lily wasn’t about to complain. In fact, she thought it was the perfect way to usher in the holiday season after the shopping turmoil of Black Friday. But as she kicked back to relax, she took a look at her roommate and couldn’t believe her eyes and ears.
“Every Who... down in Whoville... liked Christmas a lot.
But the Grinch... who lived just North of Whoville... did not!” said the apparition.
Its face was practically glowing with a warm smile that stretched almost from ear to non-existent ear on her face. Normally, Lily’s roommate was literally quite clear. Its transparent body made it easy to see right through them. But as it gazed at the Christmas Classic playing on the TV, Lily could have sworn that she saw a faint light beginning to emanate from her roommate.
The apparition’s pale, translucent skin looked like it was becoming opaque. A soft, warm glow radiated from its body as though it had just swallowed a night light. And all the while, the apparition spoke along with Boris Karloff’s narration word for word.
“The Grinch... hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas... season!
Now... please don't ask... why.
No one... quite knows the... reason,” the apparition quoted as it did its best to keep up with Boris Karloff’s pace.
“Wow! You’ve got the whole thing memorized, don’t yah?” Lily said with a smile.
The apparition turned around and smiled back at Lily, but this smile was different from before. Their smiles were usually filled with sharp, pointy teeth with an almost maniacal look to them. This smile, however, didn’t stretch across the whole of their face. Furthermore, while their teeth were still pointy, they looked somewhat smaller; almost human, even. It was a soft, warm, friendly smile.
It turned back around and continued to watch the TV classic, and as it did, Lily sat upright and scooted over to one side of the couch.
“Hey,” Lily called out, “care to join me?” She said while patting the seat next to her on the couch. Without taking its eyes off the television, the apparition walked backwards, somehow, onto the couch and then proceeded to sit next to Lily. “C’mere you,” Lily said as she took a throw blanket resting on the back of the couch and draped it around herself and her roommate.
Despite her roommate’s lack of substance, Lily felt warm and comfortable under the blanket. She could feel the faintest touch as the apparition’s head limped to the side and came to rest on her shoulder. It still quoted and sang along with the Christmas classic, but quietly so as not to disturb the viewing experience of their corporeal roommate.
It was peaceful, calm, and comforting. As they watched, Lily looked at her notebook that was now sitting on the floor. The movement of inviting her roommate to the couch had knocked it off. Looking at it, Lily figured out what to put down to finish her little post-Black Friday stress relief poem.
“... But before she could indulge in being a couch potato,
There was still the matter of her roommate who would not let go.
But as mysterious and weird as her roommate might be,
There was something about it that brought a warm smile to Lily.
And so the two sat on the couch in front of the TV,
Enjoying their time together as it was meant to be.”
Lily made a mental note to write that down once the show was over...
...but unfortunately forgot.