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the thoughts of a coward

[someonesthrowawayblog]

Here are my hazbin ships!

I am a hugeeeeeee Saint Peter fan. I think he's so cute and silly. No, I do not care that he had less than 5 minutes of screen time, I'll love him anyways.

(Also, yes it does hurt me whenever he gets left out in heaven merch. Justice for Saint Peter)

I'm a Saint Peter multishipper! Here are my favs In no particular order~

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Radiogates (Alastor x Saint Peter)

- I feel like Saint Peter would be really scared around Alastor and he'd try to be as polite as he can be. Alastor is amused by him, and he does like that he's polite. Saint Peter may like sexual innuendos but he doesn't make any towards Alastor because he's both scared and probably clocked that Alastor is asexual. In fact, I'd like to think that Saint Peter knows a lot about sexualities and if Alastor told him why he felt weird around sexual stuff Saint Peter would probably be like "oh, like asexuality?" And Alastor would just be dumbfounded like "THAT HAS A NAME???"

Ranchgates (Striker x Saint Peter)

- I got this from a comic I saw on tiktok (made by @randythenokia but I believe it was reuploded to @healedpark. And also healedpark has a Saint Peters hell AU that u should defo check out!) and I LOVED it. Soft Choir boy x Rough Farm Boy is PEAK. Striker would meet Saint Peter and go "what's a pretty thing like you doing down here?" HSKFHEOHWS (Also I have an AU where Saint Peter falls down with one of the gates at the end of season 2 and goes to travel all the rings in hell and meets demons from Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. Let me know if ya'll wanna see that!!)

Mediagates (Alastor x Vox x Saint Peter)

- Honestly this is just really funny to me. (And it also follows my AU) Alastor wants to have Saint Peter on his side because having an angel would make him really powerful, and Vox wants Saint Peter for that same reason. They're both playing cat and mouse over who should get him. Vox is like "sorry I blew up your job, let me give you this AMAZING opportunity—" and Alastor would butt in like "I hardly doubt an angelic being like you would even consider partnering up with some.. Picture book." And of course Saint Peter is stuck in the middle of this like ".. I think they wanna fuck eachother?"

Tvgates (Vox x Saint Peter)

- same reason for Mediagates, Vox wants to team up with Saint Peter—maybe to try to look good to the public again like "SEE?? VOXTECH (technically Valtech now) LOVESSS ANGELS!!! #PROGRESSIVE!"

Mothgates (Valentino x Saint Peter)

- I have an HC that Saint Peter is kinda freaky. Like he's been on the internet for a while. So when he sees Val and what he makes he's just.. Kinda unimpressed. And I've always thought of this interaction.

SP- "So.. What genres do you guys have?"

Val - "We have anal, double penetration, bad guy sex—we've got it ALL!"

SP - "so.. Do you guys have like.. Tentacles or.. Watersports or oviposition or something?"

Val (a little surprised) - "ah—well—we have.. Waterboarding..?"

SP (nodding. Intrigued) - "Have you ever considered opening up an animation department?"

Markgates (Cain x Saint Peter)

- so.. Abel got confirmed as straight (not that that stops me from shipping Holygates by the way). But that got me thinking about alternatives.. It would be REALLY funny if Saint Peter started dating Cain instead. Like the overly dramatic "but he LOVES me!" Kind of dating. Where Abel is mostly just scared and Sera's concerned. This also works with Holygates angst where Cain comforts Peter after being rejected by Abel.

Speargates (Lute x Saint Peter)

- probably the only one close to being canon. Saint Peter blushed in that one scene where Lute was pointing her sword at him. Saint Peter loves strong women and Lute wouldn't mind her man being a little feminine. She would also peg him, and I think that's beautiful.

Guitargates (Adam x Saint Peter)

- I know that Adam was confirmed as straight too but.. That isn't stopping me. He knew who Angel Dust was, and I feel like the merch is propaganda that wants you to believe that Adam doesn't watch gay porn. But he does, he just says that it's a totally macho thing to do. Honestly I sort of imagined it like that one scene in class of 09 ("Peter.. My dad wants to fuck you!" "I know.") And Adam's like "the twink is basically a girl anyways. Look at him. So I'm still straight."

Applegates (Lucifer x Saint Peter)

- I headcanon them as homo homies and Lucifer's like "I'd die for you bro.." And Saint Peter's like "no way bro.. Me too.." Or the alternative, which follows my AU of Saint Peter falling. He becomes part of the Hazbin Hotel staff and Lucifer's so happy there's an angel that isn't completely shitty to him. I headcanon them as being pretty good friends before Lucy's fall, too.

Holygates (Abel x Saint Peter)

- the classic. The one that got crushed in the latest pride merch. But that isn't stopping me. They're homo homies to the nth degree. The way Abel looks at Peter???? The way Peter is completely unbothered???? That is spouse behaviour.

Holyhalogates (Abel x Emily x Saint Peter)

- also a classic. They're also known as the Holy Trinity. They singing together and it'd just be really cute.

Wildcard!!!

Gatecest (Holo Peter x Saint Peter)

- so, there's this belief going around that Peter isn't a good guardian of the gates because he's seen away from the gates for a while. Which I call BULLSHIT because there's no way my son would even think about forsaking his duties, he's too good for that. Lord forbid a boy gets some free time. So I headcanon (also part of my "Peter's Fall AU) him to have a "Holo Peter" for every time he needs to do regular things like eat, sleep, hang out with Emily and Abel, etc. And then when he needs to work he snaps Holo Peter away and does his shift until he needs to bring Holo Peter back when he's done. I imagine Holo Peter being like Alastor's shadow. And in this ship, Holo Peter just loves Peter so much!

Wow, this was a long one. Let me know if maybe you wanna see my AU 👀👀 lol, not that I expect any of this to get much traction since its about SAINT PETER of all characters. But for the 5 other Saint Peter fans on here, let me know what you think!

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I've never seen the boys but all I can guess is that everything would've worked out fine if Homelander got either a Dom or a caretaker. Just like, based on no evidence whatsoever

[picaresquecadence]

Relevant fic rec: Of Broken Toys by CaptainDoofus

Summary: Homelander goes on the prowl for a new caregiver; a hunt which proves more difficult than he expected when he killed Stillwell.

This is really spectacularly written. I’m pretty sure it’s what got me into age regression hcs in the first place. Fantastic stuff.

[someonesthrowawayblog]

Damnit. Now I actually have to watch the boys to truly appreciate this fic

[22psyduck]

whenever he gets that glassy eyed puppy look

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I just saw this post and despite never having watched The Boys this fuels my belief that everything would've worked fine out if Homelander got railed or something

[someonesthrowawayblog]

Edgeworths big naturals are canon and I feel like that should be celebrated. In every single one of his sprites I feel like he's breasting boobily and that's beautiful.

[physicallyrobbiementallygod]

i know everyones raving about trans fem jax but i still headcanon him as transmasc cause like he did not want to wear that dress then decided to own it like the femboy he secretly is

[someonesthrowawayblog]

this is one very good example of "all headcanons are valid doesn't apply when it's blatant erasure"

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I feel like "all headcanons are valid" shouldn't apply when it's very blatantly erasure.

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I never knew that Flaky was so popular..

The people yearn for the scared gnc critter...

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I've never seen the boys but all I can guess is that everything would've worked out fine if Homelander got either a Dom or a caretaker. Just like, based on no evidence whatsoever

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I turn into the worst version of myself when it comes to Flaky from Happy Tree Friends. Particularly when it comes to Flaky x Flippy.

Yes, yes. I understand that as a character Flaky is written off to be "the scared one" but I do find it interesting when people ship them and Flippy. Because the idea of someone so anxious still pursuing a relationship with someone who has the capacity to be very dangerous is so interesting to me. Even if Flaky is scared, they love him.

And they know that Flippy loves them too. They know that Flippy genuinely doesn't mean to harm anyone. And they know what it's like being so fearful of everything. So they help however they can. And Flippy helps them whenever he can, too. And that's just such a cute dynamic <3

But also yes I do enjoy it when Flaky is a comically small little creature and Flippy is big strong military man because Flaky deserves to have a big strong boyfriend because they've done nothing wrong in their entire life and maybe I like the idea of them being a little spoon, okay? Is that so wrong?? /silly

Yeah, I can love them on a deeper level. I love the dynamic of them helping eachother with their anxiety in their own little ways. I also just kinda do like the surface reading though, sue me <333

[someonesthrowawayblog]

Hot TADC take:

I don't think Ragatha is as hated as ya'll make it seem like she is. Whenever someone talks about people hating on Ragatha I'm always like.. Where? Literally where is the Ragatha hate?? There's like multiple posts I see defending Ragatha from invisible haters.

[someonesthrowawayblog]

When I go to the tedschlatt tag and get jumpscared by straight people instead of very serious discussions about Schlatt's princess-ness and Ted pounding the brat out of him

[someonesthrowawayblog]

I love Jimmy from mouthwashing. Both in the analytical way and also the "this is MY pathetic princess and I love him" way.

But now unfortunately that means that whenever someone asks me who my favorite mouthwashing character is I always have to either:

A: Lie and say it's Daisuke. (My second favorite. If I had to choose one)

Or B, try to justify myself when I say that Jimmy is my favorite. Like yeah sure, I'll say that he's an interesting character that deserves to be explored more than "comically evil bad villain guy."

But I mostly just think that he's a pathetic little cockroach man and Curly should stuff him like a turkey. His sobbing wet ugly cat energy deeply compelled me.