I really liked the last prompt of Okikagu Week this year, but couldnât get off my lazy butt to do something about it in time. Here it is, better late than never. I used the song by The Script to explore what Sougo might have internally gone through during the two years he couldnât see Kagura.
You think the worst is a broken heart
 She says goodbye. She says it with a sweet smile as if she realized something sheâs on the verge of sharing. But she doesnât share it. She just walks away.
 Maybe he should have said it instead.
 Whatâs gonna kill you is the second part
 He loves her. Thatâs the first thing. It might as well be the only thing. There isnât much that can hold him together the way she does. Now, he only has the memory of all the laughs and silly fights they used to share. Running around in the heart of summer, falling again and again in the winter.
 And the third is when the world splits down the middle
 And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself
 He never meant for his feelings to get this far. The third thing. And maybe thatâs the most important thing too, even more important than the fact that he loves her. How could he, someone who couldnât forgive even himself for the littlest mistakes, dare to love someone who forgives even the biggest mistakes. Maybe it was inevitable.
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
 He doesnât want to stay here. She must have visited a hundred places out in the universe by now. Met a hundred more people, maybe someone who was replacing him at that moment. He prefers to be right next to her. Even knowing how wide her world has gotten, Edo still feels bigger than he remembered. Maybe itâs all the new skyscrapers or maybe when once all he had to was look up to see her, now he sees her in every flash of red in the distance but itâs never her.
And the sixth is when you admit you may have messed up a little
 Would it take an eternity to get over her? He isnât sure. But he doesnât get the chance to try because when he sees the flash of red at the harbor, he knows â he hopes â itâs her.
His skin prickles whenever sheâs near. How could it not be her?
His heart tugs like a stone in his chest when the dust settles. He has one hand raised to meet her angry fist. Skin on skin. Sheâs warm and feels like a summer memory, a spell pulling him under again.
âWelcome back,â he says. She holds his stare and he holds her glare. Heâs almost breathless with excitement at her return. Her head creeps closer and his whole world shakes.
 He tells her she messed up the endgame after she knocks him down. He isnât surprised, because neither of them has changed after two years apparently. But when itâs time to enter the true endgame, he hopes they will have both changed enough to not botch it. Â
Theyâve already settled into a pleasant routine soon after the wedding. The bedrooms are on the second floor, one for them and the other for their future children. After breakfast in the kitchen downstairs, they take a walk in the park and then go to their respective jobs. They meet for lunch and then, depending on the weather, they revisit the park and practice. Her with a litheness too quick for the eye, and him with a pressure that doesnât let up. They like keeping their skills sharp. Their fights are familiar, but now interlaced with a tenderness that jars against the ones they remember having in their younger days. They keep discovering new openings and weaknesses. Sometimes they crash down, and Sougo would break their fall so that Kagura lands almost softly, cocooned inside his arms. He holds her much longer than necessary. This is how they love, not letting go. After dinner, they relax for a while on the back porch. They talk about their day and what missions they will be taking in the future. They offer each other suggestions. Tonight he tells her about a party he has to infiltrate at a big fancy hotel, and he needs a partner for his cover. Kagura wonders if this is his way of asking her on a date. Theyâre married now, why does he need to be so roundabout. But she knows he has a sensitive heart that jumps to conclusions and breaks easily.
She agrees, excited for the fancy hotel food. Sougo inwardly sighs in relief. It isnât a real mission, he wouldnât put her in danger like that. He knows that she knows. He smiles a bit, a little embarrassed. She smiles back and it lights up his whole heart. Itâs their routine to see through each other.
Sougo found her sitting on the stairs in the midsummer heat when he came back to the compound. Even from half a block away, she stood out against the building entrance. She sat, hugging her knees, in black cotton pants, her long vibrant hair tied up in pigtails. The sleeves of her unseasonable cheongsam were rolled up just below her elbows. A large purple umbrella sat next to her, blocking the entrance. Through the afternoon heat everything shimmered uncertainly, and for a second Sougo wondered if she wasnât an apparition. The insistent buzz of cicadas created a kind of thick silence, numbing his senses.
Upon noticing him, the girl looked up with such scorn that it made Sougo feel frustrated. Suddenly he could smell his own body. He had come from making rounds and hadnât bothered to take off his black uniform coat beforehand. With his eyes straight ahead, he proceeded to kick the obstructive umbrella away.
âSadist.â Kagura stood up. Her tone sounded almost accusatory.
For a moment, they stood awkwardly together in the entranceway. A mixture of soap and sweat wafted from her. Up close, Sougo couldnât help but be reminded that her skin was unnaturally pale, and her disdainful eyes were a distracting blue. He was slow to realize that he was staring too long. But then he felt his heart skip a beat.
âWhat?â he said.
âHello.â With obvious reluctance, she stuck out her hand, and Sougo shook it automatically. Her fingers were longer now at sixteen years old but still felt dainty in his palm. âI like you.â
âNo, you donât.â
âWell, not as much as Soyo or Sadaharu, Gin, ShinpachiâŠâ she went on, listing the names of almost everyone she knew. âToshi, and even the gorilla. But I do like you.â
Immediately, Sougo had realized that she didnât mean that kind of like. Wait, Iâm ranked below a dog and a gorilla. After a moment of thought, he decided, understandable.
âWhy the handshake?â he asked after she stopped talking.
âOtae says that the best way to start a new relationship is with a handshake.â
âAre we starting something new?â
âWeâre going to be friends.â She always talked like she was on the offensive around him.
âPeople donât just decide that theyâll be friends one day. They just are before they realize it.â He said this once, a long time ago, to her boss.
âOh, were we friends before this?â
Sougo could feel a familiar ache forming in his chest.
âI apologize that I didnât realize this earlier.â
âNo, I donât think I could ever see you as just a friend,â Sougo said.
They held each otherâs gaze, the word âjustâ hovering in the humid air between them. Sougo thought he saw a flicker of understanding in her eyes, but it was lost before he could grasp it. Then he remembered that this was Kagura. She always left him unable to distinguish between reality and his imagination. Sure, he could interpret her actions better than anyone else. But that was a double-edged sword. When he thought too much about her, his mind ran wild.
Kagura laughed out loud, âYouâre right. âFriendâ doesnât fit. Youâre thinking of frenemies, arenât you?â Â
Sougo, feeling weary, put his hands on her shoulders. âSure, to commemorate our new frenemy relationship, you should let me smack you.â
 Kagura said okay and felt Sougoâs grip on her shoulders tighten. She wasnât giving in to his sadistic tendencies. The moment she felt a hint of aggression, she was going to send him flying into the summer sky. He didnât need to know that though. She closed her eyes as if accepting her fate at his hands. One of those said hands had moved behind her head, was tugging her closer. And before she could react, something just touched her lips. Curiously, she could smell cinnamon, the scent now a faint taste in her mouth. Her eyes popped open, but by then, Sougo was already walking into the compound so all she could see was a receding flash of his dark coat.
Kagura wiped a finger over her lips, and muttered, âHow annoying. Weâre not in a romantic comedy.â
 Sougo was driving at a robust seventy miles per hour when he spotted her, a feminine mirage in red that forced him to stop. Even before the engine had died down he began to laugh and shout, âWhat are you doing up there?â Kagura was stuck to the top of a chainlink fence seven feet high, trying to reach the dirt road. Sougo rarely saw anyone pass by the area. Edo was a budding metropolis, but when one got to the outer roads, there was nothing to see and thus no people. The resulting emptiness reminded Sougo of the countryside he grew up in, an unencumbered past. He liked to drive out there whenever he wasnât in a hurry and take in the sights. On this certain day, he was lucky enough to spot a lithe young woman in need, attached to the top of a fence.
        The barrier in question sealed off the public from a construction site, just one of many that consistently popped up in an ever-mushrooming city. A broken strand of the fence had hooked Kaguraâs black pants: like a steel finger, it seemed to be pulling her down as she tried to free herself.
        âI could arrest you for trespassing,â Sougo said.
        She was eighteen years old now but her lips still twisted in anger the same way as they did since he first met her four years ago. A thick layer of clouds had blanketed the sky, plastering strands of her hair to her face with its slight drizzle.
        âI was actually visiting,â she said.
        âSteel fences arenât usually set up at places that welcome visitors.â
        ââIâm stuck.â
        In the moment it took Sougo to debate between helping her or watching her struggle a bit more, she freed herself and leapt off. Her hair rose in a cloud of vermillion strands and she landed on her feet with a soft thump as she bounded onto the road. With a few quick swipes of her hands, she brushed some leaves and brick debris from her cheongsam.
        âThanks for the help,â she said.
        She took a small box of sukonbu from her pants pocket, and Sougo suddenly ceased to exist for her as she walked away, munching on the snack. He watched her for a bit and wondered where she could be heading away from the city.
        âHey,â Sougo said, insisting, because their interaction was too short after so long and he felt a need to know why she had been stuck on a fence and where she was going now without her umbrella in such weather. âWhat are you doing out here?â
        âI donât like walking home in the rain.â
        As soon as she said ârainâ he heard the blanket of clouds rip open and for just a moment Kagura seemed to vanish in the downpour as raindrops quickly beaded at the ends of his hair and dripped into his eyes. Managing to blink his vision clear, he looked at her again. She was standing still with a faraway look in her eyes that disturbed him: he sensed that she would stand there for as long as the rain fell if he left her alone.
        âThe rain never stops where I come from,â Kagura said this quietly, as if she was speaking to herself. She holds on to her past the way I do, he thought. He still froze for a full minute whenever he accidentally ate anything spicy. Looking at her, face pale and drawn from the cold and wetness, he was experiencing something similar. She looked molded of wax and if he touched her with even the little warmth left in his body, she would melt, flow under his feet into the ground and away from him forever. Which was a ridiculous thing for him to imagine. She would always be infinitely stronger than that and he wasnât going to let a combination of bad weather and their respective dark thoughts moving through the air like oxygen molecules convince him otherwise. He let those molecules sink and took her hand, pulling her towards his car.
        As if his touch was offensive to her, he felt Kaguraâs hand tense in his grip.
        âYou donât like walking home in the rain, right? Iâm driving you home, brat,â he said.
        âBite me. I was going somewhere.â
        âThen Iâll take you there.â Evening was fast approaching, and his nights were usually free. He would take her wherever she needed to go to keep that spark in her voice. They had reached his car by now, and awkwardly, he opened the passenger side door for her. Instantly, he knew that this was the right thing to do, because she rewarded him with an amused smile, as if in disbelief at his uncharacteristic action.
        âOkay, but eventually weâll have to ditch the car, because weâre going somewhere a car canât reach.â
        As Sougo drove, Kagura directed him down a gently curving road, her hand gesturing now and then when he had to make a turn.
âWant to tell me why you were trespassing?â he finally asked, and the question caused her to pause in her movements. âI might let you off with a warning depending on how lame your excuse is.â
âMy umbrella flew away from a strong wind when I loosened my grip on it for a moment,â Kagura said. âI managed to chase it to that construction site but couldnât find it anywhere so I decided to give up. Since I was already outside of the city, and the clouds were getting thicker, I decided to head somewhere to watch the sunrise.â
        Sougo glanced at her. âYou were going to stay out all night because of the rain? People usually go home as quickly as possible to avoid it.â
        âItâs my way of avoiding it.â
        A few miles later, they had reached a dead end made of a tangle of branches and bushes. The rain had dwindled to a light mist. Without a word, Kagura climbed out of the car and shoved the tangle aside enough to form an opening that she then slipped through. Sougo wasnât sure he wanted to follow her until she popped her head back out a minute later, shielding her eyes from the carâs headlights.
        âAre you going to leave a young woman in a dark forest all alone? Thatâs not what a competent policeman would do.â
        Sougo snorted and climbed out of his car. âI think I should come along to protect anything that would dare attack you from you.â
        Kagura huffed and disappeared into the tangle again. When Sougo managed to create an opening big enough for him to slip through, he saw Kagura marching down a narrow path and pushing aside branches with such force that it only solidified the impression that she certainly would be a danger to anyone that dared confront her.  Where is she taking me, he wondered. After a few paces, he got his answer as they entered an open space that seemed to glow under the suddenly cloudless sky. The space was a kind of meadow, ringed all around with thick trees.
âThe sunrise wonât be coming for a while, so I look at the stars,â Kagura said and she lied down on the grass, her arms spread wide. âTheyâre especially bright after the rain.â
He joined her, sitting on a nearby rock. âReally, you just look at them for hours.â
She nodded with a gentle, wordless insistence. The forest was silent here, though as he allowed his mind to drift while looking up, he imagined that the stars were on the verge of making a subtle ringing sound.
After ten minutes, Kagura murmured, âI like to pretend.â
When she didnât continue, he looked down at her. Her eyes were closed. Was she talking in her sleep? As he waited to see if she would continue doing so, he studied the way her hair flickered as a very faint breeze drifted over her face, casting thin shadows on her pale cheek when stray strands fluttered at a certain angle.
âI like to pretend,â she continued suddenly, keeping her eyes closed, âthat my mami is in one of those stars and if I fall asleep and dream, a part of me will fly up there and find her.â
âAnd bring her to Earth?â Sougo asked.
Kagura opened her eyes then, still looking up. She shook her head, âJust to visit her and talk to her. I want to believe sheâs happier up there. As long as sheâs happy up there, Iâll be happy down here.â
Sougo didnât know what to say to this. If he could find his sister in the stars, heâd bring her back to Earth. He could talk to her much longer than what a dream would allow. But he couldnât say any of this out loud, because then heâd desperately want it to happen and the desperation would only defeat him. Â
âIâm taking a nap,â Kagura declared, finally. âI set an alarm for the sunrise. You should take a nap too, or I fear youâll be extra sadistic on your men tomorrow due to lack of sleep.â
âIâll just sleep on the job,â Sougo said.
âOh right. Itâs always the Yorozuyaâs job to protect the city, because the policemen are so useless.â
âThatâs right.â
Before Sougo drifted off to sleep to the sound of Kaguraâs slow breathing, he filled his mind up with the image of the stars above him and wondered if he really could find his sister in that timelessness.
Are you happy, Sis?
Mitsuba was sitting next to him on the front porch of his childhood residence. Sougo didnât find this strange. Her warm and soothing presence felt like it had never disappeared even after her death. Her death? She was aliveâŠ
Of course, her familiar voice interrupted his thoughts. Knowing that youâre living each day happily with the friends youâve made over the years, I have no space in me to be sad.
Seeing her gentle smile, he felt the confusion of his earlier thoughts fade. Whatever kind of life he had without her in it seemed far away.
Iâve made friends too, you know, Mitsuba continued. I met this delightful red-headed woman who tells me exciting adventures of when she used to guard a distant planet. She tells me stories of her daughter too. Here Mitsuba giggled at a memory. She said she used to make paper boats with her daughter and they would sail them at a nearby park fountain even though the rain would sink them too fast. But theyâd just make them all over again. Her daughter tried to shield a few with her umbrella, and she reached out too far once when the boats were sailing away and she fell in. Do you remember, Sougo? When we used to make paper boats too? Youâd attack them as if they were enemy ships. But when they sank, youâd cry because they didnât look like boats anymore.
Sougo blushed at his childhood naivety and asked, you didnât tell her this, did you?
We trade stories, Sou-chan. It wouldnât be fair to always receive. Didnât I teach you that?
Mitsuba continued talking and Sougo was content to just listen to her until another voice punctured his dreaming so cleanly that he was able to hold the shape of the dream before it vanished, and the shape was that of Kagura.
âSadist, time to see the sunrise.â
His eyes flicked open and he stared blankly into the wide, transparent blue sky. He realized it was Kaguraâs eyes and that the real sky was still dark and bursting with stars. A calm slid over him as he stretched and stood, ready to undertake this mission of exploration to new, undiscovered lands. He was being absurdly dramatic, he realized, as he followed Kagura silently. She led him to a cliff that Sougo would have surely fallen off of in the dark if she wasnât there to tell him to stop and sit.
âIs this where youâll finally off me?â
âQuit yapping, chihuahua. Just look.â She pointed into the distance where for now all he saw was a subtle swaying of a blanket of stars. As his eyes adjusted, he saw that it was the undulating ocean. A moment later, morning came as the sun suddenly rose from the horizon, momentarily washing the expanse of forest and ocean below in red and gold.
âPretty, isnât it?â Kagura said.
Sougo looked over at her, just as a wind blew in from the ocean, ruffling her bangs and lifting her long pigtails in a stream of red flames.
âYes, pretty,â Sougo replied.
She caught his eye and raised the corners of her lips in what might have been a smirk. Or maybe just a smile. He reached out to help her climb to her feet, and she was definitely smirking now, amused again by his uncharacteristic behavior.
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