argumentative, antithetical dream girl

getting tired, even for a phoenix

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

inside of me are two possums. one wants love and affection. one wants to scream and eat trash at two am they both scream constantly.

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

girls night but its scrolling through every picture i have and critiquing my posture

[mibl0g]

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

what i'm manifesting this year

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

getting VERY tired of all of this antiaging content, some of yall never sat next to your grandma and asked her questions while she smoked and it SHOWS

[loveridden1999]

in the end everything will always work out in my favour because i am a sweetheart

[montereybayaquarium]

Who’re you sitting next to?

You’ve got a 5-hour flight over the holidays with some fronds from the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Who’re you sitting next to?  🦦🦀🦈🪱

Let us know in the comments below!

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

sHARK SHARK HAMMERHEAD ALL THE WAY BABYYYYY THATS MY BABY SHES SO BABYGIRL SHES JUST A GIRL SHES JUST A HANDSOME LIL FELLA

got a lil excited there sorry i just oh god i love hammerhead sharks yall have no idea

[itsjustfish]

Day 8: Glow

For @montereybayaquarium ‘s Deep Sea December

[montereybayaquarium]

Simply radiant. 🌟

A giant siphonophore can grow up to 130 feet (40 m) long. That's longer than a blue whale, the largest animal on Earth! Though this siphonophore's body doesn't get much bigger around than a broomstick, they're still growing for gold. 🥇

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

i feel like a hammerhead shark would be my friend but a mako shark would kill me for 25 cents and a high five

[soggyyspoons]

2) Red

A quick giant squid for @montereybayaquarium’s Deep Sea December! No santa hat on this guy… I forgot….

[montereybayaquarium]

No need for a hat with such a magnificent mantle. ❤️🦑

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

my toxic girl trait is that one time a guy said "i know you can do it, but you don't need to. i can do it for you, if you want." and i was torn between ripping his clothes off and hitting him in the face

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

@montereybayaquarium is the simple absence of a fear of sharks enough to be a marine biologist? i seriously have no profitable skills except effective suitcase packing but i can state with the utmost confidence that sharks do not scare me

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

on a date and this guy full send said, "when i first saw you, i thought you were, like, one of those cool girls. but it turns out you aren't!" and i've never been quite so confused as to why someone decided to tell me something in my entire life.

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

my ancestry test came back positive. struggling to cope with this new diagnosis of ancestors. thoughts and prayers appreciated

[sophitz]

“the em dash is a ChatGPT indicator” actually it is a “read kotlc at a young age and took too many writing style choices from shannon messenger” indicator

[milo-igidk]

my favorite part of unraveled was when he said "its unraveling time" and unraveled all over the place

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

my favorite part of unraveled was when he picked the loose thread on his sweater instead of cutting it off and then his sweater became a pile of yarn instead of a sweater

[myfairkatiecat]

HELP

THE RITZ CRACKER JOKES ARE IN CANON

AND SO ARE THE EDITS I’M GONNA DIE

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

when i read this i started choking/crying/laughing so violently that i scared my cat

[somewhat-smart-cookie]

new plan, instead of feeling anything i'm just going to listen to a lot of sabrina carpenter's "espresso" and "juno" until i fall asleep