I don’t want to be harassed by Vinca and my memory is fuzzy but she used to identify as white/white passing and made/reblogged a lot of posts where it was clear she felt guilty for that. I’m glad shes been able to embrace her mixed heritage but it’s really weird to see her claiming that any criticism of her is anti-black. Like I’ve seen photos of her she is not ambiguously white passing she straight up just looks white so for her to use that as a way to get money and clout chase feels really gross especially since she seems to be integrating herself with other POC who actually face discrimination based on their looks.
Idk what to do I guess it’s just a matter of time until she deletes all her blogs again and starts anew in a fresh community like always.
Hey, thank you for your ask! A few others have come forward to me and mentioned seeing that information as well in the past.
Racial identity and the difficulties that come with being half of different races isn't something I can discuss myself because I'm neither half nor Black, but passing privilege also exists in the context of skin color and gender, the latter being something I can talk about.
My own lack of passing privilege in gender has net me years of transmisogyny from both cis people and now Vinca because my "fem-leaning" is apparently not fem enough, no matter if I identified as transfem or not in the past, and I therefore cannot reclaim the slurs and mention my experiences. It is gender essentialist truscum rhetoric and goalpost-shifting. If one is very much white-passing, they should understand the impact of privilege no matter the context.
Unfortunately, the main issues we have in the incident happening right now aren't the labels or passing privileges themselves, but the fact that they're used to dismiss other trans POC and farm emotional supply. This is a common tactic to garner sympathy and avoid all accountability of one's actions and the hurt they cause. No matter what they've done, people with self-serving and malicious intentions will dismiss everything with, "I'm marginalized, so you criticizing me is bigoted! If you're marginalized and have personally experienced it, no you didn't because you're not marginalized enough!" It's a surefire way to generate dishonest outrage, abuse victims, earn money, take advantage of the kindness of others, and play wounded gazelle all at once. Combined with virtue-signalling and grandstanding, it's just a mess of emotional vitriol.
That said, Vinca is not someone who responds to logic or reason, and assumes silencing her victims by slandering them as racists or transmisogynists, downplaying her own actions and privilege, and utilizing ad hominem and constant harassment can obscure the truth, even when it's corroborated from many people in the community who aren't even friends with each other. It's to protect her sense of self-perception and feel vindicated in lashing out at the perceived injustice in her life. But because this is a recurring cycle, it will only be a matter of time before she hurts someone else in her current community with her behavior, accuses them of bigotry to absolve herself of accountability, and moves on to escape, just as she did before. Nothing you can do about it.
Either way, I've already said my piece with all of the information listed in the reblogs of Z's and Robin's posts to clarify the pattern and exact nature of Vinca's actions. I can't force her to listen to logic and self-reflect if she fully believes she's morally right, no matter how many unhinged DMs she sends me. It's better to wash your hands of it, Anon, and support her victims.
I am making this post because as of late, I, my friends and loved ones have been harassed. Vinca @flor4zul / @iso7010 / 4Nil on Itch.io , a developer who I have spoken to in the past has been accusing me of transmisogyny and anti-blackness. She first sent me a message message in the middle of the night calling me out and telling me to rot over a scene found in my game, Mare.
What is it I can't remember?
Spoilers for Mare:
Trigger warning for Transphobia, Transmisogyny, use of a Transphobic slur, Bullying, Violence and attempted suicide
Document will contain text of wishing someone's death and harm to an individual.
Hello, I am making this post because as of late, I, my friends and loved ones have been harassed. Vinca @flor4zul / @iso7010 , a developer
Once more, I ask even with what I have provided here that you do not harass Vinca or their friends. While they have hurt me, I do not endorse hurting others in turn.
Please support Z and her loved ones. I've known Z for many, many years, and I've unfortunately known Vinca in the past as well. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Z, but my as well as others' experiences with Vinca have been unpleasant. This is not new behavior from her. It's been going on since 2018, and it seems Vinca is now intent on victimizing more people.
To elaborate on the abuse Vinca has downplayed, she has done the following.
In 2018:
• enabled a known stalker of several devs in their harassment against members and then defending said stalker with claims he didn't know any better;
• constantly belittled the art of other game developers and, when asked why, dismissed them as "jokes" when they clearly were not;
• accused several innocent members of the discussion Discord of breaking server rules and pinging them publicly when a completely unrelated individual was responsible instead, and then never apologized;
• when publicly called out by another dev (first victim) for her enabling of a stalker and her disruptive, rude behavior in general, proceeded to send anonymous hate through confession blogs and attempted to isolate them from the community by demanding others to stop supporting them;
• when sent a letter by yet another dev (second victim) wishing to stop the friendship and be left alone after Vinca had insulted their art numerous times, proceeded to stalk them and follow their blogs for weeks and then accuse them of doing it to her instead when she was already blocked by the victim;
In 2021:
• [Note: This incident has been redacted to ensure the safety of the third victim.]
In 2024:
• clearly ignored content warnings about scenes detailing transphobia in Z (fourth victim)'s game, became outraged at the usage of a slur (correctly used in the context it was provided in and added by fellow trans individuals themselves who wanted their experiences to be reflected accurately), sent anonymous hate and directed others to do the same, stalked Z and their friends in their own servers, and wished death upon Z;
• demanded everyone to "do their worst" in harassing Z and those who came to defend them; and
• subsequently denied all responsibility for her actions and then accusing every single victim of being transmisogynistic and racist for not agreeing with her, all the while insulting and dismissing other trans people who felt heard by Z's game.
Everything Vinca has done is abuse—stalking, isolation of victims, sending constant anonymous harassment, silencing other trans people's experiences and stories by weaponizing her own labels (one of which wasn't even relevant to the accusations in the first place), downplaying and denying said abusive actions, and so forth. These were not "personal disagreements/incidents" as she claimed, and this wasn't her "leaving the friend group." This was a constant pattern for six years, and she clearly has not grown as a person. We were the ones who had to distance ourselves from her. Even devs who only witnessed her behavior began to ice her out for her attention-seeking actions. None of us have forgotten any of it.
Now, she weaponizes her marginalization as a Black transfem individual as a battering ram and to stir outrage while hypocritically disregarding everyone else's gender or race. By silencing trans people and attempting to erase their stories because they did not cater to how she would tell her own experience, Vinca herself is engaging in transphobic behavior on top of her abuse of others. She is not the only trans POC in this world, and to refuse to acknowledge everyone else's experience of abuse is downright hypocritical and narcissistic.
I've never forgotten the pain Vinca has caused in the community because she wanted attention and lashed out at what she perceived as personal slights. Many of us in the RPG Maker dev community stay clear of Vinca because she has done nothing but hurt every single person they come into contact with. I will never forgive her for what she's done to the sweetest, most compassionate and kind people in the community. I will never forget or forgive how she manipulated so many of us.
If you insist on blindly believing Vinca, the abuser, understand this: she does not care about you. The second she perceives a personal slight, your marginalized identity will not protect you from the abuse she will send your way. She will gladly call trans people "transphobic" and POC "racist" if it nets her any pity, money or glee, and your experiences are inferior to her discomfort. She is only using you as her personal army and emotional supply. Four victims have already shared their stories. Vinca is only making that number bigger.
I was not going to say anything, but the person in question has proceeded to continue to make sock puppet accounts and send others to harass my sister.
A follow-up to my earlier post.
This pride month, here is a reminder to the younger queer people out there or anyone who apparently needs the refresher:
Games that depict
As they have blocked me, after I called them out, I will post here as I can not message them.
@flor4zul told my sister to die for portraying transphobia in a horror game about trauma.
A game I, a nonbinary individual, and other trans individuals, co-authored the scene for and vetted.
This scene is five hours into a game, after multiple, ample content warnings and disclaimers about the subject matter, and a pivotal moment to show the pain that abuse can cause.
Notably: this bit of text is OPTIONAL.
The character in question remarks she does not want to look at her PC. Choosing to force her to do so forces her to look at the abuse she is dealing with.
It is not required to continue the game.
Last night, the blogger in question decided to send messages to all of my sister's social media.
This was a screenshot sent last night to my sister from their alt account @iso7010 :
They then had the absolute nerve to post that they had just suffered "transmisogony" and asked for donations on their account @flor4zul.
I am beyond disgusted, as one member of the trans community, to see someone not only acting like this, but having the nerve to turn around and ask for money after telling my baby sister to kill herself.
It shouldn't matter that @zmakesgames is also LGBT, but she is, and her games have always been inclusive.
Part of Mare's plot was inspired by what she had heard myself and her friends deal with and that was reflected in the character's struggles.
I explained this to them last night politely and they have instead tripled down, ignoring the facts.
And now, when a friend defended Z, they have accused her of sending people after them and used it to bed for money again.
Well, no.
I make games for a living. I make horror games for a living and each has and will deal with sensitive content and this stops now.
And if you wanna see the game that brought up the fuss? Well, for some reason, she wanted to get pissed about a four year old title:
What is it I can't remember?
I don't want anyone to harass her and neither would Z ever want that. That is why to this point we had not said anything and had only responded to things politely, but now Mare's comments had to be locked because she seems to have started a harassment campaign.
I am posting this to keep the record out and plain to the public.
But also, given her track record thus far, I have a feeling that she will respond and with that in mind, I am washing my hands of the topic.
We have said our piece. I am happy to post our responses on the itch.io page.
Full disclosure: when I played Mare for the first time, it really touched me to see my own experience being bullied laid out. The slur is something that hit home to me because I've had that slung at me for a decade, and not once did I think it was a transphobic gesture by Z, the developer of Mare. Instead, it felt like Z was listening to all of our experiences and sharing our story.
And now, someone is angry because it happened in a fictional story... showcasing the effects of bullying by a transphobic bully and the scene clearly labels it as such. Over a slur that was reclaimed by trans people who added to the scene during development. I'm baffled, furious even, because crying discrimination over a game that clearly displays transphobia as wrong has to be the most delusional thing I've ever seen in my life. Not only that, this same person is attempting to profit off the harassment campaign she started with lies while weaponizing her race, which had nothing to do with Mare in the first place. Attempting to silence our experiences with claims of, "It's transmisogynistic to use the slur because it's not yours to reclaim!" is ridiculous and transphobic in itself. How absolutely fucking disrespectful of this accuser to silence other trans POC because she feels she's the only marginalized person on this planet.
I'm a non-binary, fem-leaning POC game developer myself. Z has done nothing wrong, and is the one of the only developers I would ever trust with the topic of discrimination and its effects. You know why? Because she has always, always treated everyone and their experiences with respect. I myself could tell Z struggled with writing the bullying scene because she's always been compassionate, but it had to be done for the story. To truthfully convey the impact of the scene, which is something that happened to me and so many others. The wave of hate toward Z is not only unwarranted, it is disgusting, abhorrent, and egged on by someone who blatantly wants to act like a victim. Vinca gone so far as to twist contexts, send anonymous hate, and stalk Z and other players and devs in other servers for speaking up against the lies.
These are tactics of a manipulative abuser. These are attempts to isolate, gaslight and wear down Z, one of her victims. This is not the first time this has been done by the person accusing her. This is a recurring pattern that has been happening since 2018 in the RPG Maker community. She has done the same exact thing to others and has downplayed it as personal incidents, her "not knowing any better" and "asserting boundaries." Vinca did, in fact, know better after having been told several times when it first happened that her behavior was unacceptable, and we were the ones who had to distance ourselves from her.
Piss off with this manipulative attempt at stirring outrage. Z is a thousand times better of a person than the lowlife who started all of this.
Who's the most attractive non main character in NTY!!! for you? ( Is it Narimiya? My intuition has to be right! )
Y-You can't expose me like this, Anon! 😱
I actually have two answers here. The first is Narimiya. Honestly, he's a really handsome character and I'm weak to glasses I love the implicit storytelling of his behavior in Ryu's route. I'm about to go on a Narimiya tangent, but he's an immensely complex side character. Although he wasn't with Haru for most of his life, Narimiya actually had a huge impact on his mindset. Based on his story in the setting sourcebook and the hints given to us through the taxi scenes in-game, Narimiya's the one example of kindness and compassion Haru had in his formative toddler years and is the one who Haru learned the "you have two choices: do it or don't" way of thinking from. Personally, I think he's the reason Haru didn't turn out to be like Suemori. Knowing all of this, what's not to love about Narimiya? 🥺 He's just as good of an onii-chan as Ryu is.
My second answer is Kaori. She's very attractive in the physical sense (God, I'm not gonna lie, when Kouichi took a peek down her blouse, I was internally going, "It should have been me in his place!") and also in terms of personality. Even after everything she's been through in her backstory, she remains so sweet and supportive. She welcomed Ren with open arms without hesitation and made him her little brother. She brought out the good in him when everyone else looks at Ren and thinks he's a loose cannon. Not only that, but Ryu, Mr. 3-Seconds-to-a-Breakdown (TM), trusts her enough to shelter Yufumi, a vulnerable and abused little girl. That says a lot about Kaori. Me being super weak to sexy big-sister characters is just the cherry on top.
Main illustration for my (dead dove and very NSFL) HaruRyu Other End 2 fic on AO3, "Where I End and Where You Begin."
It’s been months since Haru returned from his summer vacation, unable to find the procedure to create Melt for the organization. Unfortunately for Haru, connections don’t break easily, and what's pulled into his hell at his father’s command is a remnant of his precious summer—Kurosawa Ryu.
Hello Somnimouse! We all know you're favourite route ( HaruRyu is a beautifully written ship, ofc it would be your favourite! ) But what's your least favourite?
I guess you all saw my favorite route and ship from a mile away, huh? 👀💦
That said... I'm going to preface my answer with this because I've gotten the stink-eye in the past for shipping HaruRyu and being a big fan of Ryu, and I don't want to scare anyone off or feel unwelcome because of what they or I ship. I value all routes equally for a number of reasons because they show different aspects of Haru's character. On an objective level, there's something to be gleaned from the impact the love interests have on Haru, and each route is a different flavor for everyone.
Putting a cut here because I don't want to flood anyone's feed with subjective opinions.
With that out of the way, my least favorite route is Hiroyuki's route. I'm not going to go into detail about the literary stuff I'm unsatisfied with because it's just a personal preference, but:
Yufumi Balcony Day is not a holiday that should ever be established and I want the tiny daughter to have a happy, loving future with two dads and a cat. Child neglect and abuse are topics that hit way too close to home, and the conclusion to Yufumi's chapter in Hiroyuki's route doesn't sit well with me.
The stink-eye I've gotten was exclusively from HaruHiro fans. It's ruined the route and the ship for me, and I can't even retweet MangaGamer's promotions of NTY!!! because they always use a HaruHiro CG. While that's extremely petty of me, I refuse to make people who do ship it uncomfortable by complaining about it. The ship's not for me, but I appreciate what the route provides to the game and how happy it makes others!
I originally posted this to Twitter as a thread, but I’m going to post it as a whole analysis here.
For a lot of NTY!!! players, Ryu is a difficult character to understand. “Does he even feel anything for Haru?” many people ask. “There is no chemistry!"
There is actually a lot of it! Ryu feels quite a lot for Haru, too, but because of the nature of his character, his love is shown implicitly through careful actions in his route. For those who are confused, I’ve got an analysis that breaks down Ryu’s backstory and personality, his route themes, and his significance to Haru’s overall character and the game as a whole.
Warning: If you haven’t played Ryu’s route, this contains spoilers. The analysis also has references to CSA.
I would really like to know Haru's section! I've been obsessed with this game since 2018 and when I got my laptop the first thing I did was get Nty. Thank you!
No problem! Haru's section is the most thorough section in the NTY!!! setting sourcebook, but it's also probably the saddest. The content of it is along the lines of parade/CLOCKUP's nightmare fuel!
Due to the necessity of it, I will be combining Narimiya's section with Haru's so certain information doesn't get lost. There is also the full introduction of an important character who plays a heavy role in both of their sections--Haru's father, Suemori Yasutaka, the creator and head of the organization.
Warning: Contains references including but not limited to human trafficking, severe CSA, incest, cannibalism, torture, murder, drug use, coprophagy, amputation, etc. This is very NSFL!
To start, I will be splitting this huge post into several sections: the organization, Narimiya Takashi, and Haru.
I. The Organization
The organization is a company that dabbles in human and drug trafficking and caters to rich sadists. It has no name and its headquarters is located somewhere in the Hokuriku region (according to Amemiya). Staff members live in apartments close by and hold all sorts of occupations. They could be health professionals, law enforcement, taxi drivers, shopkeepers, etc. Staff members will go to their "main jobs" as ordinary people do, but when the organization calls them, they have to do their job. Even whole businesses that have ordinary workers have specialized torture rooms, but those not in the know have no idea what goes on.
It didn't just come out of nowhere, though. The organization started with one man named Suemori Yasutaka.
Suemori was a man born a little after World War I. He is a complete sociopath, feeling nothing in terms of emotion and sentiment, and went down a dark path. He wanted to see what made humans so different from him and see what made them tick. Had he not gone down this road, he probably would have become a neurosurgeon or some kind of medical professional, but alas.
Suemori first experimented on animals like birds and small prey before moving on to his own family. Nothing was off-limits to him. He gave off the impression of a simple old man and went undetected. Suemori eventually started up his own businesses and companies, and is currently the owner and CEO of various hotels in Japan. Soon, clients began to pour in from all over the country. These rich sadists were more than happy to pay for Suemori's services and would often request special property to act as their playthings. It didn't matter where they came from. If they wanted anyone in Japan, the organization could snatch them up without a trace. They could even go outside the country and into places like Southeast Asia if they wanted to. However, the organization's policy is to go after people who would not be missed by society, and they do not cause too much trouble. That way, it wouldn't be discovered.
Soon, the organization had a collection of "property," victims who were kidnapped for torture of all kinds and had no rights. They lost their names and were instead referred to by numbers, and are treated just like livestock and refuse. Women are abused far, far worse than men. They're generally forced to take contraceptives to prevent pregnancy, but if one of them were to get pregnant and give birth, the baby would just be killed and tossed away.
Human trafficking is a very, very lucrative business, and Suemori lives in a mansion, pretending to be a normal businessman. As someone who could feel no love, he never married. However, he sired fifty-five children in the course of his life and gave them special serial numbers. All fifty-five of those children died as a result of his experimentation. He did not come any closer to figuring out what made others so different from him, but he never stopped.
"Surely, there would be whistleblowers," you might say. Unfortunately, Suemori loathes betrayal, and all who defected from the organization were swiftly dealt with. They were tortured in ways that made them beg for death, and the end results were not pretty. Once you're in, you'll never come back out.
And one such incident happened in the late 1970's.
II. Narimiya Takashi
Once upon a time, there was a 23-year-old male staff member and a 17-year-old female piece of property. They fell in love with each other and wanted to seek freedom together. The staff member released her, and they both made their escape from the organization. At some point, they got married and had a baby, who they named Takashi.
Takashi grew up to be a kind and intelligent boy, and his parents loved him very much. He knew something was off about his family, though, as they moved homes too often to be considered normal, but he never asked them about it.
Takashi's parents were on the run for a total of twelve or so years before the organization finally caught them. They and Takashi were subsequently taken to headquarters and tortured severely. Suemori forced the parents to have sex with Takashi, both receiving and giving, and brutally mutilated and raped each and every one of them. He used a katana to severe Takashi's left arm and stuff it down the throat of his father, who suffocated and perished as a result. Takashi was turned into property, and subsequently had to watch his mother's slow mutilation. The organization cut off her limbs, her nose, her tongue, her eyes, everything. They turned her into a lump of flesh for sexual use by clients, and Suemori raped her constantly.
Nine months later, Takashi's mother was finally murdered and put out of her misery. Her stomach was swollen with Suemori's offspring. Thirteen-year-old Takashi, who had broken and was severely malnourished, was forced to cut open her belly in search of food... and pulled out a baby boy. The baby's head was a bit damaged from Takashi's removal attempt, and it would become a bald spot on its head in the future.
Takashi looked at the baby. "What should I do with this?" he asked Suemori, who was watching him.
"Eat him, rape him--do whatever you want, Narimiya," was Suemori's reply.
But Takashi looked at this baby--his mother's baby, his little brother. Whether it was out of love, pity or a selfish desire to have something left of his family, Takashi kept the infant and never hurt it.
He and the baby were put under the care of two staff members who played the roles of parents. Takashi was trained to be a staff member himself, but spent what free time he had with his little brother. He taught the little boy his first set of kanji, how to read, how to eat corn on the cob, and held his hand and took him to the pool.
His little brother asked him, "What do I call you?"
Takashi said, "Call me Narimiya."
The little boy grew up rather normal. He said weird things and spoke very slowly, but seemed like a happy child regardless and went to school. For five years, Narimiya and his little brother knew some semblance of peace and normalcy.
And then, one day, Suemori came by and took Narimiya's brother away.
For the next twelve years, Narimiya worked in the organization as a staff member, never knowing if he would see that boy ever again.
III. Haru
The name of Narimiya's brother is never listed in the setting sourcebook, and he probably doesn't know it himself. He first met Suemori around the age of five. He was brought into a room and shown a video of a woman being tortured physically, psychologically and sexually, culminating in her stomach being cut open and a baby being removed. Suemori explained to him that the woman was the boy's mother, and he was the boy's father.
Most children would have been traumatized by that and sobbed. However, this boy looked at him and said, "So what?"
With that, Suemori brought him to headquarters. The boy was given a serial number and was referred to as No. 56. He was to be property and Suemori's personal plaything. Suemori wanted to know if No. 56 was just like him, and spent more than a decade conducting experiments on him.
Around the age of 6-7, No. 56 met another boy his age. His name was Inui Hiroki. Hiroki never lost the hope that his father would come and rescue him, and told No. 56 all about him. It planted a seed of curiosity into No. 56, and he wanted to know what Hiroki's dad, Inui Kouichi, was like, too.
Although he was exempted from disposal events, No. 56 underwent the same torture as other property. He lost his front virginity at age 6 and the back at 7. He was raped by Suemori and others and raped others himself. He was forced to murder, eat human flesh, eat human feces, take drugs, be buried alive, be starved, and so much more. He had a dragon carved into his left shoulder and another tattooed on his right hip and leg. No. 56 was given a dog to take care of and was forced to kill it 3-4 years later. His brain was already abnormal to begin with, but he soon developed PTSD and hypersexuality from all of the trauma he went through.
Something about him stood out from the others, though. Even after going through so much torture, No. 56 never once cried out of sadness. He could feel compassion, but he wouldn't hesitate to put his own life first. He shrugged off hardship and kept moving forward despite it all. No. 56 wanted to live more than anything, even though he held no hope for himself. He knew he would be discarded after Suemori got bored of him or passed away, and only wanted to experience his first and last summer.
At the age of 17, No. 56 participated in the Death Games, a major disposal event in which the winner will be promoted from property to staff and have one wish granted. Hiroki was under the impression they would both walk out the winners and find freedom, but he didn't fully understand the stipulations. They killed the other property until just the two of them were left. And when Hiroki least expected it, No. 56 murdered him to win the Death Games. He was subsequently promoted, and he was now on the giving end of torture toward property. He was also reunited with Narimiya at this point, and lived in Suemori's mansion in the lap of luxury.
But that kind of life was boring. All No. 56 could do was eat, train, watch TV, read books, cook, sleep, and repeat. He learned more about the outside world through TV shows and books, and was fed five-star Western dishes made by top chefs. But he was never allowed outside except for the occasions Suemori sent him out on missions with Narimiya to supervise him, and even then, he'd only be out for three days at most. He played the role of a pampered grandson, but No. 56 wanted to live the life normal people lived.
Then, at the age of 22, No. 56 heard about an investigation into someone who had the procedure to make Melt, a drug that was circulating through the organization. After hearing they would play informant and make contact with Kouichi, No. 56 used his wish from the Death Games. He would take the place of the informant, but instead of the operation lasting three days, he'd take the entire summer. Suemori allowed this, and No. 56 and Narimiya were dispatched to Toshima. Narimiya bought him new clothes, and No. 56 was to wear a dog tag that tracked his coordinates and sent them to headquarters.
No. 56 was set to make contact with Kouichi. However, a car driving straight at his target threw his entire plan off-course, and No. 56 pushed him out of the way and got hit instead. Feigning memory loss, he was taken in by Kouichi and brought to sótano, where he got a job and was given the name "Haru" by Kurosawa Ryu. This leads into the events of "NO, THANK YOU!!!".
There's a lot of trivia regarding both Haru and Narimiya, so here's a bit of it:
Haru
Haru's armpit and leg hair have been removed permanently.
His birthday is December 19th, 1990, making him 22 years old at the start of NO, THANK YOU!!!.
He doesn't have an "actual" name. The organization refers to him as No. 56, but Narimiya only does it around other staff members. Outside of that, Narimiya refers to him as "that boy." Hiroki refers to him as "No. 56-kun," which, in Japanese, is 六十五番くん. Yes, the entire thing.
Haru's dick size is 16cm when erect. For comparison, Hiroyuki's is 14cm, Ryu's is 15cm, Kouichi's is 19cm, and Maki's is a whopping 21cm. Haru's penis is also circumcised.
Haru is ambidextrous but favors his right hand.
He doesn't masturbate.
To Haru, sex is a form of affection and bonding, and he'll have it with men and women. His strike zone is anyone between the ages of 20-60, and he tends to look at boobs and ass first before the rest of their body. The sourcebook notes that, if he absolutely has to for work at the organization or at Suemori's request, he'll do it with children or the elderly, too, but he won't like it.
His memory issue is pretty bad due to the PTSD, and he has a lot of trouble remembering names longer than three syllables. The only exception to this is Narimiya's name.
He's bisexual. Amemiya, the game's director, notes that once he loves someone, he'll never cheat.
He has very limited intensity of emotions. It's noted he only feels about 10% of what normal people feel due to his PTSD.
Haru's favorite fruit is pineapple, and his favorite food is a homecooked Japanese meal because all he eats in the organization is fancy Western food that lacks any sort of love.
Haru is very bad with spicy food and carbonated drinks.
Haru sleeps on his side most of the time, and he'll sometimes curl up.
Of the main cast, Haru is the fastest in terms of speed. The next fastest character is Ryu.
Haru has heavy alcohol tolerance.
Haru has an 80% chance of dying after he goes back to the organization at the end of NO, THANK YOU!!!. However, Amemiya says he's also a very lucky person, so his fate is unknown.
Haru's fighting ability is listed as 9/10 ("assassin" level, which is shared with Maki), and is particularly skilled with knives.
Haru is very appreciative of food and is nice about it even when it tastes horrible. All he'll say is, "Hmm... Something is missing...?"
If need be, Haru can drive a car... with emphasis on the "can." Because he often relies on instinct, it's dangerous, and it's better if someone else handles the driving instead.
He has average singing ability.
Narimiya Takashi
His birthday is October 29th, 1977, making him 35 years old at the start of NO, THANK YOU!!!.
Narimiya is not related to Suemori, and is Haru's older half-brother through their mother. There is zero chance is Haru's father.
He masturbates once a month.
Narimiya's prosthesis is an advanced one and acts much like a regular arm. Amemiya specifically notes in the Q&A section that it cannot shoot rockets.
He is allergic to alcohol and cannot drink, but he also has a sugar addiction. Narimiya can also cook, but Haru is much better than him at it.
He's a surprisingly good singer.
Suemori has a good amount of trust in Narimiya's capabilities, citing his intelligence and craftiness.
Narimiya keeps Haru at arm's length and won't go out of his way to help him with unnecessary tasks, but it's noted there are risks he will take for him. It just depends.
Narimiya's fighting ability is rated 8/10 ("professional" level, which is shared with Kouichi), and is particularly skilled with guns.
The part of a woman that turns him on most is her hair.
Like Haru, he does not feel intensely as other people do in terms of emotions. However, he still feels sentimentality.
AAAAHHH !! YOU ANSWERED !! i literally squeaked when i checked your tumblr to see that you did !!! such a shame that the setting sourebook doesn't cone in english, but i definitely will be buying!!
oh! and, i appreciate you being willing to tell me about ryu and haru! but can i instead learn about ren? ever since i read your ryu route analysis, i've wanted to learn more about the younger mochizuki :]
sorry about the big ask, and thanks in advance!!!
No worries about the ask! I'm always more than happy to talk about NTY!!! because aaaa I love this game so much. ;_;
Going to put this under a cut because Ren's section has a little bit of heavy stuff, but it's not as bad as Haru's section (which is incredibly NSFL). Ren's section also talks a little bit about Kaori as well, and their dynamic is really, really sweet!
Warning: Contains references to CSA, child abuse, sexual assault and rape. Taken straight from the sourcebook.
To start off, Ren was raised by just his mother, who was a prostitute and wasn't exactly the best example of a loving mother. Ren was bullied in school a lot for this. Other students would insult his mother and insinuate that, because she has sex with a lot of men, Ren, too, must be sleeping with them. He got into fights all the time because of that, and his experience with these bullies was the foundation for his very distasteful feelings toward men.
Unfortunately, his mother eventually got a boyfriend who was also not a very good person. One night, when Ren was in his late-teenage years, this boyfriend snuck into his bed and molested him. Ren took a beer bottle and smashed it over his head to stop the assault, but his mother was enraged and kicked him out.
Ren eventually wandered off and found himself in a hostess club. There was a very kind, beautiful woman there with big breasts who welcomed him. After Ren had spent quite a bit of time drinking, he opened up to her about his life and cried. Much to his surprise, the woman cried as well, and immediately told him, "I will be your family, then!"
... Of course, this creeped Ren out and he thought she was kind of crazy, so he ditched her immediately and resolved never to go back. Who in their right mind would even say something like that to a guy they just met?
At some point, Ren got into a fight with a bunch of guys and lost terribly. They held him down, and a different young woman ended up raping him that night. However, Ren refused to fight back. He thought that, if he refused, he would be seen as gay. He developed a severe defensive response to being assumed gay because of his experience with bullies and his mother's boyfriend. And so, he let it happen.
(Amemiya, the director of NTY!!!, notes that Ren isn't really affected by his rape by the woman and has just brushed it aside. This contrasts with Ryu and Sorato, who have significant trauma and gynophobia because of their experience. It should also be noted that Ren is actually heterosexual, but while his defensiveness at being assumed gay is somewhat understandable, his volatile response is moreso linked to his issues.)
Ren, defeated, eventually returned to the hostess club. The hostess he ran away from never held it against him and welcomed him into her life with open arms, adopting him as her little brother.
This hostess' name? Mochizuki Kaori.
Unbeknownst to Ren, Kaori had a similar childhood. She was molested by her stepfather in the past and ran away from home at the age of 16. She ended up with a boyfriend who was into some shady business, and, one day, she and that boyfriend were targeted and shot by criminals who had it out for the guy. She was saved by Inui Kouichi, and they became good friends. Kaori eventually left her boyfriend and met her future husband, Hagiwara, who loves her dearly and would do anything for her.
It was initially awkward living with Kaori. Ren would turn red and get a boner every time she hugged him because her breasts would push up against him, but after some amount of time, these feelings subsided when he began to truly see her as family. Kaori basically saved him, and that's why he's protective of her.
Kaori eventually introduced Ren to Kouichi, who hired him at sótano as a bartender and a private investigator. Ren has some respect for the old man because of his connection to Kaori, but he ultimately views Kouichi as "too soft." That said, he still obeys his orders.
However, he was immediately awestruck by Kurosawa Ryu, who he views as the only competent man at the bar. He's everything Ren wants to be—cold, composed, ruthless and intelligent. Of everyone at sótano, Ren respects him the most and would follow him without question. He trusts Ryu so much, he even opened up to him about his past. Ryu, seeing himself and his sister in Ren and Kaori, also told him about what happened to Ai. Ryu has a particular soft spot for Ren, but he's also more strict with him than Hiroyuki because Ren keeps getting into trouble with the police by fighting with other guys.
(Funnily enough, after Haru had him drugged and shot him in the arm in the climax of Ryu's route, Ren woke up in the hospital with no memory of what happened. He said to Ryu, "Something complicated must have happened." Ryu vaguely agreed and didn't even mention who shot him or tell him the events that transpired. Thanks a lot, Mr. Kurosawa.)
It should be noted that, due to his childhood, Ren is particularly knowledgeable about the poverty industry and how society preys on the weak and the poor. Despite his harsh, cynical and unfriendly attitude, he's a good guy deep down who also doesn't like injustice. In a sense, you could say he's very much like Hiroyuki in his direct, headstrong approach to issues, and it's why Ryu worries about him just as much.
Some minor trivia about Ren and Kaori that I found interesting:
He really likes rock and visual kei music. Amemiya notes that he tends to really get into the music and "sing with aggressive arm movements" at karaoke bars. Kaori, on the other hand, likes pop music. Her singing prowess is on par with Ryu, who is described as a very good singer, while Ren is just average.
Ren is trying to make himself healthier meals. In the past, he used to survive on things like burgers and spaghetti, but he's learning how to cook.
In Ryu's route, after Kaori's pregnancy announcement, she quits her job as a hostess and becomes a dedicated housewife.
It's noted that Kaori is the only woman Ryu trusts, and this is shown in-game when he rescues Yufumi from the orphanage and hands the little girl over to her.
Ren and Kaori have tried smoking at some point in their lives, but they quit because it was too gross.
hello somni !! i'm a big fan of your works, but i have a question. does the sorcebook come in english if you purchase it using the "for overseas costumers" method ?
Aaaa thank you so much for this ask! I'm so happy to hear you're a fan of the stuff I make! ;;;
Sadly, the NTY!!! setting sourcebook is in Japanese and there's no English version, even if you notify parade you live overseas. However, the information in the book is completely worth the cost and language barrier.
I cannot fully translate it into English because I think it's important to support parade, but I would be more than happy to tell you what's in Haru's and Ryu's sections if there's anything specific you want to know!
I read your analysis of Ryu's route in NTY!!! and was amazed by the depth that exists in their relationship that you helped me appreciate more - thank you so much for writing that and posting it!!
I noticed your analysis mentioned the source book a few times. I was wondering if there are details about other characters in it that would add similar depth to their routes, or other details that stood out that you wouldn't mind sharing. This feels like a big ask, so I understand if you would rather not!
I actually tried to buy a copy on the Parade website earlier this year, but I didn't hear back from them about completing the process for overseas customers 😅 I still want to try again to get a copy because I love NTY and Parade's other works so much!! NYT's characters feel so fleshed out that the game leaves me wanting to know so much more about them, and I feel like there are still so many things about their world to learn!
First off, I'm so sorry for the late reply! I haven't checked Tumblr in a while and only noticed this ask today. ;;; I'm so happy to hear the Ryu Route analysis helped you appreciate his relationship with Haru more! I found his route to be so, so poignant and beautifully written, and I was heartbroken Ryu doesn't have a lot of fans on the EN side of the fandom. In my opinion, he's the character best suited as Haru's love interest.
The sourcebook contains similar in-depth detail for the other characters! I absolutely recommend getting it because it also details Haru's childhood and backstory, which are NSFL. I'm not going to lie, reading the sourcebook will take a few years off your life and it sheds so much light on Haru's actions in NTY!!!. The book also explores the side characters, too, especially Ren and Narimiya! It's definitely worth it.
As for the overseas purchases, Parade actually has a guide in their shop that can help you bypass the required fields in Japanese and then add your actual information in the notes box afterward. You should be able to access it by checking the left sidebar and picking "Information for Overseas Customers."
Thank you so much again for this ask, and I hope you'll get your hands on the setting sourcebook soon!
I originally posted this to Twitter as a thread, but I’m going to post it as a whole analysis here.
For a lot of NTY!!! players, Ryu is a difficult character to understand. "Does he even feel anything for Haru?" many people ask. "There is no chemistry!"
There is actually a lot of it! Ryu feels quite a lot for Haru, too, but because of the nature of his character, his love is shown implicitly through careful actions in his route. For those who are confused, I’ve got an analysis that breaks down Ryu’s backstory and personality, his route themes, and his significance to Haru’s overall character and the game as a whole.
Warning: If you haven’t played Ryu’s route, this contains spoilers. The analysis also has references to CSA.
I. Backstory and Personality
There are a number of very important aspects to consider when understanding Ryu. The main one is that this man has Extreme Trust Issues(TM) and is this damn close to imploding from all of the misfortune in his life.
According to the sourcebook and implied in his POV flashback in-game, at the age of 13, Ryu was groomed and manipulated by his older female cousin, and he witnessed his uncle perving on his little sister, who was only 8 at that time. His trust in the world was shattered and his personality subsequently suffered. He developed an obsession with cleanliness and a mild form of gynophobia.
After he moved out with his sister at 15, Ryu then had to experience losing Ai at 21. He went to the police and they didn't even file a missing persons report. Who the hell can this man trust? Nobody, he's learned. He’s lost all his loved ones and he’s alone under the world’s foot. Ryu's been through so much hurt, it's no wonder he's a bit of an asshole.
His entire life was dedicated to protecting his sister, and she was his reason for living. Hell, Ai is his reason for living. The only reason he works under Kouichi in the first place is to figure out where she is.
The sad thing is, Ryu only trusts Kouichi to a degree. He believes that the world operates on “fuck yours, got mine” philosophy.
That is more than a decade’s worth of trauma for him. To survive in an awful world like this, Ryu has to put up walls around his heart and won’t let anyone in his world.
But that's not all there is to him. When Haru says, "Ryu might even be kinder than Hiroshi," he's right. Deep down, Ryu is a very compassionate individual who does everything he can to help those who are vulnerable, especially children and CSA victims. While he won't jump in head-first without knowing the full story, he'll always find a way to do something.
Case in point: the Igarashi siblings' case. Ryu, as a CSA victim himself, is quick to correct Kouichi and say it's "sexual abuse" and not "Sorato having a relationship with his mother," and is the only love interest to actually help Rikuto and Sorato successfully.
While I'll be mentioning Yufumi later, you can especially see Ryu's soft side with Hiroyuki and Ren. Both men are still green around the gills and wear their hearts on their sleeves, but Hiroyuki is naive while Ren is incredibly jaded from his own sexual and physical trauma (mentioned in the sourcebook). Ryu has gone as far as to house Hiroyuki back when the guy was 19 and teach him everything from cooking and house upkeep, and will always make sure Hiroyuki's okay at work. He is just as nurturing with Ren, who idolizes him for his competence and coldness.
Hiroyuki, who sees the good in others, views Ryu as a strict but kind man who's much like a mom. Ren, who distrusts everyone, sees Ryu's ruthlessness and cunning intelligence. Ryu's route showcases both of their viewpoints, but whose interpretation of Ryu is right?
As it turns out, neither of them are correct. Haru is the only person who sees Ryu for who he is: incredibly stubborn, reactive, petty, thoughtful, sweet and in a lot of pain. He learns this by doing what no one's ever dared to do: worm his way into Ryu's heart.
If you compare everyone's routes, you'll notice that Haru treats Ryu differently compared to how he treats Hiroyuki, Maki and Kouichi. Haru is much gentler in Ryu's route, (almost) always asks for his vocal consent, never uses his killer face on him, and always has him in mind during their interactions.
Now, Ryu's been suspicious of Haru since the very beginning, and it doesn't help that he hates stupid people. However, Haru's heart is undeniably in the right place, and Ryu is not blind. As the route progresses, he begins to care for Haru and eventually falls in love with him.
“But wait!” you might say. “How do you know he even loves Haru?”
And to that, I say, “Look closely!”
There are three main themes that are present in Ryu's route that showcase how Ryu's feelings change toward Haru from dislike to love:
a place to call home;
freedom;
the dichotomy of love and trust.
I will be splitting the next section into these three themes Haru and Ryu connect emotionally on.
IIA. A Place to Call Home, and a Child of Love
From the day he was born, the "amnesiac" who came to sótano was simply a broken toy of his father's, and has nothing to his name. No family, no home, nothing. He doesn't even have a name... until Ryu gives him one: "Haru."
By the time Chapter 3 rolls around, Haru has sótano as his newfound family, but he finds another one in Ryu's apartment. That is where he eats the Japanese home-cooked meals he's always wished to eat (via sourcebook), does the chores he's always wanted to do, and gets a slice of a normal life.
Ryu knows what a happy home looks like. Although he mentions that his mother "wasn't perfect," she was kind. Both his mother and father, according to the setting sourcebook, were very much in love and raised both Ryu and Ai with utmost love and care.
He no longer has this. Now, he's content with being alone because he can no longer trust anyone, but, while watching Haru react with joy over doing ordinary things like washing dishes, cutting burdock root and eating his food, Ryu gains a bit of insight into what Haru grew up without.
Enter Yufumi, the neglected and abused child who lives next door to Haru. She, too, does not truly have a place to call home because her mother views her as a burden. She's never had a home-cooked meal from a mother, been praised, or given any clothes.
Furthermore, Eyebrows, too, never had a home. He was a stray kitten who was about to become crow food had Haru not saved him. Two people (and one cat) who have never known what a stable, loving home felt like. And they all found home with Ryu.
So they form a somewhat patchwork family of a husband (Haru), a wife (Ryu, according to Haru's own words), and two children (Yufumi and Eyebrows). But what does is the significance of this to Ryu?
I'd like to take your attention to the matsuri scene for this one. Prior to them going to the festival, Ryu watches Haru and Yufumi tinker around on the piano. The soft gaze Haru catches from him makes it clear Ryu is thinking back to the days when it was just him and his sister, Ai.
However, the matsuri scene also shows something else.
Recall Ryu's POV prior to the Bad End/Good End branch. Ryu was taken to a jazz restaurant by his parents and fell in love with the piano there at the age of 5. The sourcebook elaborates on this and explains that his parents did it on their anniversary date. Ryu, as a child, hand-in-hand inside the restaurant with his parents, and immediately being taken in by the sights and sounds. Does this sound familiar?
This is a parallel to the matsuri scene with Haru, Ryu and Yufumi. It's six-year-old Yufumi's first time seeing fireworks, and she gets to see them on a “date” between Haru and Ryu, who first met in a jazz bar. She is not only symbolic of Ryu’s happy childhood with his parents, but also of the foundation of love and care Haru and Ryu build together. Yufumi grows out of her shell and comfortably voices what she wants, and is visibly excited and happy under their parenting. In other words, the route pushes her solidly as their love child.
Now, when Ryu gently scolds Haru about being more excited than the children, Haru tells him to enjoy himself while he's here. The matsuri scene is also important because that is when Haru starts to plant the seed of doubt in Ryu's head and really, really tries to convince him to adopt Yufumi for both of their sakes. He knows how lonely Ryu is and how safe Yufumi would be with him, so why not raise her?
And what does Ryu do by the end of the route, thanks to Haru? Adopts Yufumi and Eyebrows because the cat is also a part of the family. I should point out that, without Haru’s influence, Ryu doesn't adopt Yufumi or Eyebrows, and the latter two are separated in other routes.
The thing is... in the epilogue, it's revealed that Ryu extends that offer of being a family to Haru, too, in the form of keeping the last coupon. That coupon represents the promise to bind them together, the one that will make Haru come home to him in the future because he never breaks his promises. The reason Ryu is willing to do that for Haru, of all people, is because Haru did what no one else could: set him free and show him unconditional love in spite of everything.
IIB. Freedom
Freedom is a major theme of Ryu's route and character, and it's one of the aspects that fosters the romance between him and Haru as well. Ryu, by nature, is tightly wound and controlled in every way you can think of: physically, sexually, emotionally, verbally, etc.
Ryu does not enjoy life because he's shackled himself to his goals. He takes things for granted because nothing in the world is worth more to him than his sister. He does not know what he has until he loses it, and it takes Haru's presence in his life for him to understand that. Haru saving Ryu and freeing him from his shackles is represented by foreshadowing in a physical example: Haru unlocking Ryu's zip-ties in the garage scene in Chapter 2.
"What are we going to do?"
"Beats me."
"Um... I have a proposal."
This humorous scene actually mirrors the reveal in the final chapter, after Ryu finally sees what happened to his sister.
Ryu, who's broken down and cries in anguish, does not know what to do and begs Haru to kill everyone. He's at his weakest and he has no way out. It's clear he's given up on life and wants the world to burn, knowing that his sister is in that state and would be better off dead.
Haru refuses. With gentle but honest coaxing, he shows Ryu that there is a way out of the darkness and that he still has something to live for: Yufumi. He gives Ryu a reason to stay alive and start all over again, and to stop clinging to the past that will never return. With that, Haru frees Ryu from 17 years' worth of self-sacrifice. He's free to play piano as much as he want again. He can take care of Yufumi like he's always wanted to. Ryu can't get any of the time he lost back... but Haru gives him a miracle.
(This is a direct nod to the conversation Ryu has with Ren, too, about how lost time cannot be brought back in any way.)
To Ryu, who's been single-mindedly pursuing the impossible, this is essentially giving him a second chance at life. It's not only Ryu who's given freedom, either. Yufumi, as well, is given a second chance at life when Haru gives her a similar talk about whether or not she wants to wait for her mom or move on. Thanks to him, Yufumi lets go and is able to move on, just like Ryu, and is able to walk toward goals she wants the most. The fact that Haru is able to do that for them solidifies Ryu's love for him, and that is why he holds onto that last coupon. Because Haru never breaks his promises, he's certain he'll come home. In true tsundere fashion, Ryu frames it as, "I'll allow you to come back to me."
"But Somni!” you interject. “Are you sure Ryu loves Haru? What if he just respects him?"
There are certain things Ryu does for Haru that he does for absolutely no one else, not even his own flesh and blood. Remember that he has his heart encased in an icy prison and lets no one see who he really is. Not only is Haru the only person who gets to see Ryu's foul temper and lack of composure, he's also the only one who gets to see Ryu's playful side.
There are various times throughout the route in which Ryu pranks and toys with Haru, but the cutest one involves the dustcloth. The dustcloth represents Ryu's affection, much like one would see from a noblewoman when she gives it to a knight vying for her hand. Ryu could have simply made the phone holder and be done with it, but he went the extra mile to make a gag gift. And that was done to poke fun at Haru and have him go from excited to dismayed. Unfortunately, Haru is dense as hell, so the prank flies over his head and Ryu has to give him his real gift.
Make no mistake, though—the important thing is not the phone case, but the dustcloth, the proof of Ryu’s affection.
The thing is, Haru also receives the phone case in the Ballad of a Killer ending, but he does not receive the dustcloth. The major difference in this branch is whether or not Haru proves that Ryu was right to fall in love with him.
IIC. The Dichotomy of Love and Trust
Love and trust are not mutually inclusive in Ryu's route. There is a huge difference between loving someone and trusting them, and while his own feelings can’t be controlled, earning Ryu's trust is how he allows himself to fall in love with Haru in the first place.
The key to Ryu's Good Ending is ensuring that Haru never, ever goes back on his word. Not getting handsy with Ryu in the shower shows Ryu that he was never serious about the coupons, so he has no reason to trust him. Refusing to go home when Ryu uses a coupon seals it completely and Haru has to pay for his betrayal with his life. You cannot toy with the feelings of a man with Extreme Trust Issues(TM) and expect to get away with it.
Ryu was already falling for Haru, showing concern when Haru put himself in danger and musing about the fun Haru must have had while laying out the yukata set he bought for Yufumi. He was beginning to trust Haru, too... until, in the Ballad End, the fucker broke his promise and did not obey the coupon. By doing that, Haru unintentionally reinforces Ryu's view of the world: trust no one. He was a fool for loving him in the first place. So Ryu ends up using Haru's feelings again him and tricks him into killing Mimasaka and being fatally injured in the process.
Even then, Ryu can't bring himself to shoot Haru. He still loves him even though Haru screams out the most vile things about his sister to enrage him and drop his guard. It's an incredibly heartbreaking ending because Ryu takes what he has for granted again and will never get that love back.
Here's the kicker: Ryu set that trap for Haru in advance. Whether or not he decides to utilize it depends entirely on Haru's choice to obey or disobey. In the Good Ending’s path, Haru realizes the Mimasaka thing was probably a trap and isn't even disappointed, and Ryu does not pursue it.
Slowly, Haru begins to earn more of Ryu's trust, even though there's a limit. The tipping point happens prior to their last H-scene together, when Ryu sees Haru napping and tucks him in, and lets him hear what his true feelings sound like through the piano.
In the OST, the song Ryu plays is titled "Passion," which shows how much fire and life he's keeping inside of him. This is something he doesn't allow anyone to listen to or touch because that can be easily taken away from him like everything else. He doesn’t even play this kind of jazz for patrons in the bar. The sourcebook notes that Ryu plays with all his might like this once or twice a month, when everyone else has gone home. However, he doesn't wake Haru or kick him out, but lets him sleep and listen. Haru understands the significance immediately and sees him for who he truly is.
Now, a lot of people would say their second-last H-scene is one that holds the most emotional value, but I'd actually argue that their last H-scene, the one after this piano scene, showcases all of Ryu's feelings for Haru out in the open. For this H-scene, I want to point to Lee's VA comments for Ryu. He mentions that Ryu's true feelings show themselves a little in this H-scene, which made recording for the route climax a lot easier. I also want to mention that Ryu's CSA experience is also vital here.
Ryu is a person who needs to be in control to feel safe because he can't trust anyone else to take the lead. The sourcebook reveals he doesn't even masturbate because, to him, that's a moral failing signifying a lack of control, which nods to his past.
The last H-scene he has with Haru is the first in which he has control over what happens (at least, for now). Haru pulls back at the lack of reciprocity, pouts, and whines about his feelings being hurt, which actually makes Ryu pause.
"If you want to have sex with me, make me want it."
Ryu does not want sex, ever. He's a traumatized, sex-negative asexual, has no interest in anyone, and would rather go through life without any of that dirty shit. Plus, we've learned from the second-last H-scene that sex acts without emotion actually bore Haru. Even so, Ryu wants to do it with him, who he loves and trusts. But how does he show it?
He gives Haru something he's never, ever given anyone in his life: his first kiss.
And not just any kiss—he practically eats Haru's face (although he absolutely sucks at it) and it makes Haru so happy, it gets him raring to go right away.
"But Somni,” you say. “It's just a kiss! It’s not that big of a deal!"
The thing is, this is coming from someone who won't even masturbate. Ryu shows major resistance when Haru asks him to touch himself. The kiss he gives him is something within his control but also comes from a place he allows no one to look. Ryu has never done this to anyone in his life because he's never felt anything this deeply before until Haru came along in his life. This kiss holds major, major significance in that he's showing how much he wants Haru and love him.
Allowing Ryu to initiate the first move during sex is cathartic. He gets to move things on his terms without being forced against his will, and, as the scene progresses, Ryu begins to want more of Haru and actively voices it. Major trust is required for that.
However, that's the limit for Ryu's because, above all else, he has one goal in mind: to find his sister. He's more than willing to aim a gun at Haru, the man he loves, to get what he wants. The power of compartmentalization is really something.
III. True Love
But then Haru fulfills his promise and shows him the truth. And then Ryu loses it. He crumbles. He's lost everything and is at his most vulnerable, with his broken heart out in the open. There's no point in anything anymore. But, when Ryu is at his weakest, Haru saves his heart. Haru protects him and sets him free with the coupons and the reminder that Yufumi is waiting for him. He was there when Ryu needed him most.
Everyone else in Ryu's life broke his trust and abandoned him, but Haru didn't. And that finally proves to Ryu that, yes, he trusts Haru and was right to fall in love with him and let him into his life. That is why Ryu, seeing the last coupon flutter before his eyes, holds onto it. He wants to see Haru again and have him come home to him.
I want to draw attention to the fact that the very last CG is Haru through Ryu's eyes. His gentle, happy smile is shown through both that and described through Ryu's inner dialogue. Haru never breaks his promises, and the coupon becomes a chain that binds them together forever.
Ryu's lost so much over the years. He lost his parents when he was 10. He lost his innocence at 13. He lost his sister at 21. He lost her all over again at 27. But he also got a family and his life back, thanks to Haru, and Ryu doesn't want to lose him, either. For so many years, Ryu's suffered alone in silence, and in just two months, Haru, that wonderful windstorm of a man, barged into his heart and changed him for the better. Ryu gave him everything he ever wanted, too.
While Ryu's love isn't traditionally flirty like Hiroyuki's, tension-charged as Maki's, or exciting like Kouichi's, it's romantic all the same, and it comes from deep down in the soul. Their love reflects the quiet, everyday love between two people who have been married for many years. He and Haru changed each other's lives for the better, and it's not just their lives, either.
Remember Yufumi and Eyebrows. Because of that love between Haru and Ryu, both Yufumi and Eyebrows have a home and will no longer be mistreated, hungry, filthy and neglected. Haru's and Ryu's love creates a nurturing environment that allows their children to grow and flourish.
Haru himself also gains the most in Ryu's route compared to the other routes. He gets not only an identity, but the milestones he believes he’ll never have are achieved, too: what it's like to be married (with Ryu), being a father (of Yufumi and Eyebrows), having his first home-cooked Japanese meal made with love, etc.. Ryu, so vibrant and full of life underneath that coldness, is a joy for Haru to unwrap over and over again, and how he manages to surprise him one last time by being willing to wait for him to come home solidifies Haru's love for him, too. Haru's so in love with Ryu physically, mentally, sexually and emotionally, he literally does not think about him without simping at some point, and when he finally sees the fire inside him, Haru's all too happy to be consumed by it and even shows jealousy toward his own dick because it gets to be inside Ryu.
Their love is slow-burning and full of meaning and significance, and the impact it has on them and everyone around them is undeniable. The writing in Ryu’s route is so full of clues, metaphors and foreshadowing, it's the gift that keeps giving.
Love does not have to be showy. Love does not have to be explicit. Love is a choice, a conscious effort one makes to the person they care about the most, and when it comes from a jaded individual who keeps their emotions under lock and key, it means the world. Ryu’s love for Haru is clearly showcased in his actions and the route’s intertwining of their themes, and their chemistry together is solid.
