To face unafraid

writes, draws, wears stuff, eats food, has cat all pronouns are cool | queer nb filipina | twin cities @somonastic on insta + twitter  Threadless shop | Wardrogue style blog | Leave me a tip!

[somonastic]

Me? About to read 270 Miles and More from the beginning again just so I can drown myself in your beautiful writing? YOU BET! Obsessed. Thank you for sharing. 😭

Omggg you are the sweetest thank you and bless you!! :’] Haha I gotta read it all again myself so I can remember what the heck I’m writing as I pick it back up for Ch 6 writin’. Wish me luck! 

[somonastic]

Just doppin’ by to say I am loving 270 Miles and More so much! Such a bright spot!!! Stay safe!

Hey, thank you so much! So happy to hear you like the fic, I appreciate you reading and reachin out. Take care!! :] 

[somonastic]

270 Miles and More

Hey! I’m gay, it’s Christmas, I’m writing gay Christmas fic. Working on cranking out a fic for Happiest Season that was going to be a long oneshot, then a nice little 2 chapter, and has settled on becoming an 8 chapter fic.

If you enjoy a little slow burn, a lot of emotional processing, and were interested in the possibility of a story you thought was about a couple trying to survive one terrible Christmas actually being the story of how a different couple falls together well, perhaps I can interest you in my lil fic.  

Read the fic here on AO3!

Summary:

A: It really was maybe the only redeeming point, getting to kick it with you. Thanks for helping me out.

A: I would like to point out though that we are in fact...talking right now. Oh shit, the wonders of technology! We don’t actually have to miss talking to each other if we don't feel like it, do we?”

Right away, she gets a response message agreeing: No, we don’t.

//

Abby walks out on Christmas Eve and rides with John back to Pittsburgh, but the things that happened this wild past handful of days don't disappear. If anything, they stay with her weeks, months, a year and more later. But they soften, grow, change shape; they shift her life in more ways than she could have anticipated.

Texts from Riley are waiting on her phone when she and John walk back into her and Harper's apartment. She texts Riley back and then they just never stop texting.

[somonastic]

Aisle 6 Remix

|| One overthinking gay’s remix of the best queer spy vs spy romance on film, if bits of Season 1 were smushed with bits of Season 2 and it all started with a meetcute in a grocery aisle.

Chapter 04: Shapeless butt jiggling

|| Villanelle is nosy, judgmental, and incapable of ever just catching a break.

Click here or on the header above to give it a read!

Hello from me, the writer:

[Spoiler warning: come back here after you’ve read the chap, I’m gonna talk about it]

This chapter ended up being my longest so far. I hope you enjoyed it! I don’t expect the word count to keep growing higher and higher every chapter. I kind of try to keep them on the shorter side really, so I know I’ve given the chapter a point, but I plan to just kind of feel out what seems right on a case by case basis. This chapter had a lot of beats, a lot of things I wanted to accomplish, and then they all expanded as I fleshed things out with the actual writing.

I don’t really know if I’d say the writing in this fic is ~my writing style~ because I’m comfortable writing so many different things - a million papers in college for my English degree, cover letters for jobs, internships, projects, instructional writing on a hundred completely different types of industries for work, editing anything other people write, working on my and my partner’s original stories. 

But this is my first time writing any fanfiction at all. And this is how it started out, and this is the cadence, tone, stacks on stacks of clauses, etc that I’m just rolling with I guess. I hope it’s working for you.

In this chapter, we’re back in Villanelle’s head. I’m still exploring what my characterization of her will be like, but I’m trying for some balance so far. It’s so strange to me writing an AU for Killing Eve. It’s done so much good in canon, there’s so much there, that it seems almost a waste, almost silly, to drag these two to an alternate universe. When I try to do it, I mean. I read and enjoy lots of Killing Eve AUs, but can get self conscious about mine.

It’s an interesting exercise trying to build the connection, the dynamic between these two up from scratch. I selectively work a lot from canon into A6R, but I shift it, stick it under a different lens, prod at it with “well, what if this time…” There’s not that excellent, incredibly rich established trajectory for me to build from. I have to earn it some other way, which I’m still figuring it out. 

It’s fun though, moving them along steps at a time. This chapter tries to move us several steps on several different tracts at once and hopefully future me will make good on it lol. There’s a lot at play. Villanelle is focused on herself still, but Eve sort of interests her. But this Eve doesn’t know her, isn’t heading a task force just to seek out her. She didn’t see Eve in a bathroom and ruin her life over it.

They’ve gone straight to co-habiting, without any of the obsession, pain, conviction, doubt, chase we love them for. So we’re along for their little adventure of learning each other, watching them each be surprisingly correct and incredibly wrong about the other. While also doing dumb domestic shit like eating bad eggs. If you want good scrambled eggs by the way, try Gordon Ramsey’s technique; it’s on Youtube.

If you read these behind-the-scenes rambles of mine, you’re the real star here. Thank you and Queer Jesus bless you. Please talk to me, love me some talkin bout stuff. And if you like the fic, share it with a buddy :]

Previous chapters:

Ch 01 | Knife me, rob me, creep up in my sleep

Ch 02 | Carefully practiced vulnerability

Ch 03 | More of a tectonic movement

[somonastic]

Aisle 6 Remix

Fic summary:

I feel like….someone’s watching me. Eve looks up from the two flimsy boxes in her hands (microwave stroganoff and frozen gluten-free shepherd’s pie) to see that someone was indeed looking intensely her way. A woman stands a few feet away, cart halted, staring right at her. Young, sickly pale, hair in disarray, clung sweaty to her forehead.

Eve figures she should probably address this situation.

|| One overthinking gay’s remix of the best queer spy vs spy romance on film, if bits of Season 1 were smushed with bits of Season 2 and it all started with a meetcute in a grocery aisle.

Chapter 03: More of a tectonic movement

|| Be patient when getting to know someone new: sometimes people won’t be so comfortable sharing certain things with you until you’ve earned their trust.

Click here or on the header above to give it a read!

Hello from me, the writer:

[Spoiler warning: come back here after you’ve read the chap, I’m gonna talk about it]

Find it kinda weird but fun writing interactions where nobody fully knows what anybody else’s deal is and you’re always stuck trying to figure it out through one character’s lens at a time.There’s what Villanelle knows about herself (which we don’t know all of yet). There’s what Eve knows about herself  (which we don’t know all of yet either). There’s what Villanelle knows about Eve (little) and what Eve knows about Villanelle (even less). Who even knows what’s going on here.

Hope you’re looking forward to seeing two little curious clever reckless punks try to be roommates, and also they will constantly be eating because food is all I care about on this earth. 

Previous chapters:

Ch 01 | Knife me, rob me, creep up in my sleep

Ch 02 | Carefully practiced vulnerability

[somonastic]

I’m enjoying aisle 6 remix.

Thank you so much anon! I'm enjoying writing it so far :]

[somonastic]

Aisle 6 Remix

Fic summary:

I feel like….someone’s watching me. Eve looks up from the two flimsy boxes in her hands (microwave stroganoff and frozen gluten-free shepherd’s pie) to see that someone was indeed looking intensely her way. A woman stands a few feet away, cart halted, staring right at her. Young, sickly pale, hair in disarray, clung sweaty to her forehead.

Eve figures she should probably address this situation.

|| One overthinking gay’s remix of the best queer spy vs spy romance on film, if bits of Season 1 were smushed with bits of Season 2 and it all started with a meetcute in a grocery aisle.

Chapter 02: Carefully practiced vulnerability

|| Tips for making a new friend: try having a light conversation to get to know each other over a shared snack.

Click here or on the header above to give it a read!

Hello from me, the writer:

Hellooo who else is gay and horny for weird?? [Spoiler warning: come back here after you’ve read the chap, I’m gonna talk about it]

Eve Polastri understands you, because she’s thirsty for a stranger’s stab hole. And Villanelle also understands you because is thirsty for Eve being thirsty for stabs. Their brain cell truly is away on holiday.

I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot since these Eve, V, and all the rest of us get to chill for one second and a indulge in some conversation. Also I like switching around the POV between two unreliable narrators. I’m always interested in what characterization you can pick up on through someone’s narrative perspective. 

Lasagna-for-one man from the grocery aisle is Julian, yeah. Oksana and Eve’s ships in the night moment in Nice and Neat was a perfect beautiful gut-punch. I wouldn’t trade away that so-tired lingering stare at Eve striding savior-like, fucking near godly, fucking dream-esque slow-motion towards the hell house Oksana just escaped, just ONE moment too late for them to be together again. In that moment at least she knows clever, determined, mutually obsessed Eve came for her after all.

But yea I’m not beholden to writing what’s good for the show so fuck it! This one episode and this one moment are what I latched onto and what made me decide to explore “hey, what if it wasn’t Julian who Villanelle saw in that store, what if it was Eve? What if it was Eve, who she saw for the first time in that aisle?” I’m not even close to above daydreaming about Eve and V getting to hang out domestically in Eve’s house, not even a little. I’m so gay for domesticity and slice-of-life and my being yearns for it.

Had kind of a dickens of a time trying to problem solve the issue of V’s false backstory here. She told Eve she couldn’t involve authorities, she showed up with an obvious wound, she doesn’t have friends or anyone around to turn to. Maybe the lies she gives here still wouldn’t convince someone with a better sense of self-preservation, but we’ll see how Eve feels about it. Hopefully you all find her made up story acceptable for the fic at least.

Previous chapters:

Ch 01 | Knife me, rob me, creep up in my sleep

[somonastic]

Aisle 6 Remix 

Fic summary:

I feel like….someone’s watching me. Eve looks up from the two flimsy boxes in her hands (microwave stroganoff and frozen gluten-free shepherd’s pie) to see that someone was indeed looking intensely her way. A woman stands a few feet away, cart halted, staring right at her. Young, sickly pale, hair in disarray, clung sweaty to her forehead.

Eve figures she should probably address this situation.

|| One overthinking gay's remix of the best queer spy vs spy romance on film, if bits of Season 1 were smushed with bits of Season 2 and it all started with a meetcute in a grocery aisle.

Chapter 01: Knife me, rob me, creep up in my sleep

|| In this universe, here's where it begins. It's a good thing Eve's a terrible cook.

Click here or on the header above to give it a read! 

Hello from me, the writer:

Hey! It’s 2k19 and fuck it I’m finally writing fanfic. It’s bananas I haven’t before but I feel good that a show as completely slick, smart, sexy, and super fucking gay as Killing Eve was the one to pull me in finally. 

Here’s Fic #1, Ch 1 for me. I had this thought after 2.02 dropped, kept thinking about it, thought it had potential and eventually decided to think it into existence.

And yeah, I’m a very extra gay who enjoys making little graphics so I did decide on a whim to make chapter graphics. I hope someone enjoys this but if not who am I kidding I did it for me. The plan’s to hopefully do it every chapter.

The feedback I’ve received so far has been so positive and kind, I’m super happy about it?? Thank you to everyone who gives it a read! Please feel free to hit me up here or in the comments if you’ve got anything you’d like to say or ask.

Plenty chapters ahead, the next to come Monday <3 

[somonastic]

Note: @azaraih and I now share joint custody of a buffalo check jacket, aka we're gay. | Had a very nice friend energy boost last weekend. Socializing can tucker me out, but if I'm interacting with good friends, it gives me back a kind of uplifting energy in exchange. I like connection, and there's something about being around friends in person that brings me contentment. Last weekend we got to have friend brunch, Friendsgiving, and monthly Art Jam with buddies. I hope I can increasingly pour into and draw upon my friendship well. It's like a vitamin, I gotta get that sweet buddy spiritual nutrition. In other news, Minnesota is winter ❄️🧥🧤🧣 . . . #queerstyle #queer #nonbinary #nbfashion #nbstyle #enby #plaid #buffalocheck #jacket #winterwear #winterfashion #breakfasthat #ultralightdown #fashion #style #minnesota #mnfashion #mnstyle #winterstyle #outerwear #layering #filipina #filipinx https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqc1Kg-h5fg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=maldwaxlml4z

[somonastic]

World’s Okayest Gay | What an honor! You should be proud, always. New design in honor of Pride month 🏳️‍🌈 I love this month. I love the feeling of community, self-reflection, gratitude, and joy I have during this month. The struggles we face don’t disappear. But to me, Pride’s a chance for us all to put celebration that we’re here, fighting, loving, living, at the forefront for a bit. It’s a release, an exhale, a delighted shout. I do feel proud. I’m a queer nonbinary Filipina and I wouldn’t trade any of it. To all my trans, nonbinary, bi, pan, ace, aro, poly, genderqueer, genderfluid, lesbian, gay, queer friends: I love being together in this life with you ♥️💛💚💙💜

If you like this design and are interested in getting this on some stuff, find my @threadless Artist Shop at somonastic.threadless.com. Thanks for your support as always! Happy pride 🏳️‍🌈✨💞

[azaraih]

Here’s a few screenshots to show what the cooking game is like! You click and drag ingredients while the chef robot tells you what to do. The background in these is a color test version I did so it’s not quite final, and I’ll be updating the font and adding a robot sprite, but otherwise this is what it’ll look like.

Might not finish by the end of March, but we’ll see! If not, then I’ll keep working on it into April and get it done as soon as I can.

[somonastic]

Been enjoying making food art for these games! Will make a post collecting the sandwich art soon, including some fun dancing sandwich gifs. If there's a way to incorporate food into any game, I'll always take it.

[somonastic]

Fixin’ up some refreshments for a tea party

I’ve been drawing a bunch of fruits and herbs while @azaraih programs them with magic so you can drag & drop ingredients to the carafe and assemble these infused waters in our game. More kitchen fun to come!

[azaraih]

making a robot game!

I decided to do NaNoReno this year since I’ve been getting back into working on Ren’Py games recently and thought it would help push me to finish a project. I’ve decided to work on a cute little scifi game called Grandma June’s Robot House since I love robots haha. So here’s a little info about my project so far. Good luck to everyone else who’s working on NaNoReno games!

Synopsis June is an old lady who has always loved robots and has collected many of them over the years to help her around the house. You play as the Artificial Intelligence in charge of running the household and wrangling the other robots. The game takes place one day when June tells you she’s expecting a special guest and wants you to prepare everything so the evening will be perfect. But a lot can go wrong when you have to manage a whole house of robots with a wide range of ages, talents, and personalities. Team I’ll be working on art/writing/programming, @somonasticwill be helping with some things too, but I’m not sure yet how we’ll divide things up. I haven’t done much with music/sound so I’d probably find some free stuff to use.

I’ll update once I make some progress on this!

[somonastic]

K is great at making cute games! Stay tuned for our pleasant robo game

[somonastic]

@azaraih and I are back on our bullshit, and by bullshit I mean having a good time making games together again. Been a while since we’ve posted about game making! 

Currently, we’re trying to make the smallest possible VN that still feels personally interesting for us to work on, and basically it’s turned into Awkward Lunch Conversations: The Game. Here are some sprites I’ve been making for one of the characters you can interact with in the game. Unnamed at the moment, but non-binary with they/them pronouns.

I’ll talk about the game more soon, but pretty much my thought process was “What are VNs great at? Character interactions like conversations. What’s a super small, limited character interaction you could do? Having lunch with one other person. How can I make this more interesting for me? What if you don’t actually remember who you’re meeting for lunch, and why.” And that’s pretty much how our game started. Current title is Lunch with J. 

Thanks for reading!

[somonastic]

At last night's Glitch Immersion workshop, we each rolled a D20 to generate a game pitch for us to sketch quick concepts for. I rolled: fast + dark + Street Fighter. Went for literal dark w/cave stages that darken over time during a round. Attacks landing briefly light up the cave. If the round times out and there's no victor, the stage goes black and the weird beast lurking in the background emerges to chomp ya.

[somonastic]

bento doodles 🍱

[somonastic]

Mostly been drawing skeleton friends for anatomy studies lately but keeping sane with colorful messy sketches of my characters. Noodling around with this fella's floppy hair.