TAKE OFF. FLY. DON'T LAND.

Unfinished rants most of the time.

[sonderandsetsunai]

“She’s the kind of girl you never see coming. It starts off simple and two months later you’re saying, you are my world. She told me ‘I want a kiss’ and I knew I was in trouble. I want to spend every night tucked up in the mystery that is her mind. What is she thinking? What does she want? Is this enough for her? Am I enough for her? Some people you can read; she’s a novel written in another language. Things like this are never easily understood. It was unexpected. It gives me hope that the world is a good place. She gives me hope that I am good. I look into her eyes and I’m in her soul, completely transfixed. She wraps her arms around me and I swear no one has ever felt safer in this world. Fingers intertwined with mine and I’m sure we can take on the world. Lying next to her I feel her magic, the kind you can only find in a girl who finds humor in everything. She kisses me and I sprout wings that take me to a place where we’re together. Sometimes she laughs and I swear it’s the cure for any disease. It healed me. She feels like home. No better than that; she feels like where I belong, where I was always supposed to be. I wasn’t looking for anyone; she’s it. She’s the kind of girl that can do that, change your life.”

— (via bewwbs)

[writingsforwinter]

Reasons to Make it to Tomorrow

Birthdays. Setting fires. Holding hands. Making stew on cold nights. Mountain climbing. Sleep. First dates. Vacation. Spending the day in bed. Buying wedding rings. Exploring a forest. Playing peekaboo with a baby. Watching someone smile genuinely. Camping. Stargazing. Counting rings on a tree. Realizing that someone loves you. Returning that love. Getting drunk for the first time. Smell of old books. Looking through black & white photos. Learning your ancestors’ names. Laughter. Hot chocolate. The feeling of getting back up after falling down. First day of college. Last day of college. Acing a job interview. Screwing one up and realizing it’s not the end of the world. Collecting shells. Sunbathing. Listening to someone’s heartbeat. Sound of waves crashing against shore. Rain hitting a tin roof. Heartbreak that turns into heart-healing. Your own house. Decorating that house. Coming home to someone you love. Hearing the sound of their footsteps on the stairs. Honesty of fall leaves. Their colors. Fresh snowfall. Singing favorite songs off-key. Seeing love come into someone’s eyes. Watching your parents look at each other like the very first time. Sunrise. Sunset. The way fire burns into ash. Smell of a campire. Waking up with light spilling over the sheets. Breakfast in bed. Living long enough to watch wounds heal over. Change. Wilderness. Forgiveness. Change some more. More change. Spring. Flowers blooming, opening up like you can. Good memories. Learning how to forget bad ones. Warm feet in a cold bed. Sleeping with the only person you care about. Waking up to their mouth and arms. Smiles that reach all the way to the eyes. Letting go of balloons like dead weight. Floating in water on your back. Skydiving. Risk. Adventure. First C on a test. First A. Favorite teacher. First poem. Last poem. Holidays with family. Roadtrips. Changing the sheets. Your father’s gnarled hands when he grows old. Grandchildren. Children of your own. Their first day of college. Their graduation. Their wedding. Anniversaries. Making daisy chains. Smell of freshly-cut grass. Pride. Feeling good about yourself. Loving what’s in the mirror. Not being afraid anymore. No more heaviness. No more grief. Survival. Picking berries til your fingers are stained dark. Frost on windows. Holding someone without sex. Sex with love. The joy of swearing. Counting the years you’ve lived. Another candle on the birthday cake. Another mark of victory. That bellyache laugh that hurts all over. But hurts so good. Breath freezing in winter. Feeling that breath on your skin. Someone’s eyelashes blinking into your palm. Accomplishment. Self-worth. Love. Triumph. Sitting under willow trees without weeping. Apologies that get accepted. Understanding that comes from forgiveness. First fight. First makeup afterward. Less hurt. More good.

Everything.

[sonderandsetsunai]

If all these mentally and emotionally excruciating events didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have met that version of you. I wouldn’t have discovered the empathic, matured, deep, compassionate, understanding, and the amazing person that you are. We’ll probably be stuck in a mid-deep level of fship, which is equally good naman, but this version? I live for this kind of people in my life. If only I can have more version of you around me, life will definitely be way easier.

As someone who’s so passionate about deep conversations, who had endless nights of talking to a lot of people, and when I say a looooot as in sobrang dami ko nang nakausap talaga. I must say, yours is my current favorite.😊

People are drawn to me because of the way I perceive things — how my mind works, the way I react, the way I absorb their stories, how delicate my approaches are, how I never judge them, how I respect them, how I give advices, how beautiful my words are, how naturally sweet I am, how I always got the right timing when to say it, how I was always there for them, how I hear and listen to them, and see them and of course ang sarap sarap ko raw kausap — the thing is I also crave for these kind of detailed attention and conversation wherein they would listen to what I have to share and they will give the same comfort as what I’m giving them. More often than not, I didn’t receive it. Puro bato lang ako, konti ang bumabalik. I’m not complaining, I’m very much willing naman lagi. Siguro kasi I’m aware rin that not everyone has that capacity to do whatever I’m doing. Why am I saying all these? Because for the first time in a really long while, I found that in you. I’m being heard, listened to. The conversation comes naturally w/o stop. I can be vulnerable. I can literally say whatever’s on my mind be it good or bad and you won’t even flip. No calculations or whatsoever on my end. I’m not even afraid that you might think differently. That is the level of comfort that I don’t always find with anyone else.

You know the saying that we should always seize the moment? I have this version which I think is far better than that. It’s when the moment seizes you. I only experienced that once when I went to Batanes. I even wrote a beautiful description of how I felt that moment. It has been more than two years and I haven’t felt it again until THAT Friday night when we had the most raw, honest, unfiltered conversation for 7hours. We often say we should seize the moment but that night, the moment seizes us.

I’m not saying that I’m thankful that all these mentally and emotionally draining events happened to us. Of course not... di naman din natin deserve na pagdaanan lahat ng ‘yon... what I’m saying is I’m thankful that you’re there during those times. That a different version of you emerged. Something surprising and welcoming. Something I’ll treasure in the years to come. 2020 gave us a hell life but I’ll always go back to this year and be thankful because of you. My world is better because you’re in it. ♥️

[sonderandsetsunai]

What to do with a close straight friend whom I think I’m starting to have feelings who recently confessed to me that she was too close to killing herself just this month and who likes and consistently talking to a guy. My feelings for her is getting in the way. But what do I do. I wanted to be there for her and help her but I’m fcking hurting as well. It frustrates me.

I developed this feelings because at the start of lockdown last March until now, we’ve been talking everyday. A lot has happened eversince including the retrenchment from work in which she was part of. I didn’t give any meaning to this until one time at the last day when we went out in group to drink and she was so cozy. I think a lot about that night eversince.

We became closer right after that. The conversations became deeper. I managed to open up few of my personal stories as well. We were there for each other. All the while the guy is always there as well. I have no idea how often they talk, how deep was the connection all I know is that she likes him and he likes her. And it’s stupid of me to even hope that she’ll like me more than friends.

It’s a struggle to be a friend and be in love and hurt in the process.

Ok I’m rumbling and this is a free flow post.

[artmania-feed]

ART PRINTS BY LOVEPAPERPLANE

More by the Artist Here

[wnq-writers]

You won’t find sad people crying in public , blurting their story out over alcohol, sometimes you find them laughing around others, sometimes you will find them protecting you from their own sadness and it’s a sad fact how sometimes we have to be both brave and sad at the same time.

Kriti.G, Find and save them (via wnq-writers)

[nasa-official]

Just so you know, you can always watch the Earth live from the ISS. Its really relaxing to me (the music they play is soothing too)

[benxalves-deactivated20180122]

accord

We gazed into the night sky’s beauty, counting stars as if we could steal from Heaven. As water crept along the shore and our feet embedded in the sand, eyes closed and breaths calm, the sun began to rise painting the skies with white and gold, climbed up the pines till we’re high up above, till we reached each other’s arms and embraced as if nothing would tear us apart. These simple, little things.

Now I’m dreaming of ghosts and waking beside them, incapable of touching a vision carried by a warm breeze. The day disappears like the moon does at dawn, the clock has run out of hours and the clouds have finally wept. Life is a passing circumstance. And we’re just a distant memory to be kept.

Love is a sweet poison, intoxicating and repulsive I let it flow through my veins; the more I take, the more I die.

I know I don’t miss you I know I don’t need you I know I don’t love you but somehow, I still do.

[sonderandsetsunai]

Dear You,

Six years ago, I was held up at gun point. The guy took my bag along with my wallet and cellphone. You were the person I ran to after the incident. You held me like a baby as I was shaking and crying hysterically. You never left my side. You hugged me tight. You let me fall asleep first. You watched me sleep. I had nightmares. I woke up from time to time then you’re there to hug me tighter. That night was one of the longest nights of my life and believe me when I say that your arms are the safest place there is.

The guy could’ve pulled the trigger anytime he wanted to. I could’ve died in an instant. Just thought of it is enough to give me chills. I was traumatized. But your presence, your assurance that I’m safe in your arms calmed me down.

I wasn’t able to report for work for three days. When I finally had to, you were still there. You made sure that I’ll be home safe. You insisted to fetch me from my normal bus ride and to accompany me on my new jeepney route. You did that everyday for some time. You were so patient. The assurance and safety you gave me is more than what I asked for. You were there in every step I made. You helped me get over it.

I’m not sure if you still remember any of this. This is one of the very few memories with you that I can remember and treasured the most.

Grateful,

Me

(You might be wondering why I addressed this person in past tense. It’s because she’s no longer in my present. We were together for almost a year when that incident happened. Our relationship ended after almost 4 years. We broke up 3 years ago. It was a good one until it’s not anymore. Sad reality.)

[sonderandsetsunai]

BLACK.

[wnq-writers]

Romanticism. The world in utter chaos still, your eyes save me.

Nicholas Browne, Haiku 14 of 365 (via wnq-writers)

[photography-cnl]

Photographer Magda Wasiczek Captures the Macro Fairy World of Nature

Polish photographer Magda Wasiczek has one important aim in her artistry, to capture the vast and tiny beauty of nature. Wasiczek brings attention to the small details, we can’t detect with our naked eye. She captures the unusual and ethereal wonder, which seems to exist only in a fairy tale book.

[sonderandsetsunai]

[benxalves-deactivated20180122]

let us dance, you and me hopelessly and endlessly chasing through your melody of music notes and chords, a voice like a hundred angels whispering “i love you” to the void

you fear, from love before press my lips on open scars often scorned yet nevermore fear not the night of dark and cold i am no knight, no shield nor shine yet willingly your wars are mine

your smile my love, you fill my wings feel the clouds of love beginning wishing like an April’s fool i find my treasure: hidden jewel let us go, anytime and anywhere let us love without end nor care.

[benxalves-deactivated20180122]

i wanna leave too but where can i go to get away from the memories of you?

[sonderandsetsunai]

1:00 PM – You notice that he’s old. He is weak. He is trying to be strong.

1:05 PM – He is smiling. He has the most beautiful smile. At his age he still looks handsome.

1:08 PM – He looks at you, there’s something in his eyes. You can’t explain but you know that there’s something and you just can’t figure it out.

1:12 PM – You hold his hand. You trace the wrinkles. This man has been through a lot in his lifetime you said to yourself. You hold it tighter.

1:16 PM – You look around, a different ambience. It’s cold, hot and heavy all at the same time. Your heart beats more than it should. You start to panic. You wonder what’s happening.

1:18 PM – You look at him again. You pray that he will get well soon. You can’t wait for that. You know that he will. Soon, he can get out of the bed, can roam the house, can laugh with you.

1:20 PM – Oh yes. His laugh. You realize that it’s been a long time since the last time you heard it. You want to hear it. What you would do to hear it again.

1:23 PM – Noise. What’s that noise? You can no longer filter it. It’s coming from every corner of the room.

1:26 PM – His grasp to your hand loosened. You held him tighter. You stared at him. His eyes… His eyes…

1:27 PM – He is barely there. He is holding on. He can’t sustain it any longer. Screams. Tears. Shattered.

1:28 PM – Waves. 5-storey waves. Crashing. Destroying everything. You’re drowning… In your own emotions.

1:29 PM – Chaos. Inside the room. Inside of you. You don’t know which to deal first. You still hold his hand.

1:33 PM - He let go of your hand.

1:31 PM - …

1:35 PM - …

1:43 PM - …

1:44 PM – You look at him again.

1:45 PM – His Smile. Gone. His most beautiful smile. Gone.

1:48 PM – Gone.

[acutelesbian]

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

[fat-thin-skinny]

this fucks me up every single time

[acutelesbian]

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

[conceitedtrash]

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now