Chapter 5: Ilya's Order Order and Chaos on AO3 by songsaremylife
You give me Shane's hazel oceans of Ilya Rozanov, and I raise you Ilya's freckled skies of Shane Hollander.
First half is Ilya POV, then we switch to Shane (it is indicated so no confusion)
We may cry at first, but then we will relish in that well-deserved deliciousness of happiness. The sun does feel amazing on our skin, I think, don't you think?
Just wait for Chapter 6: Shane and Ilya's Home, you might get sunburn from how much we will bathe in that happiness.
In this chapter we will get Ilya's mind and intimate moments they had shared in the previous chapters that we didn't get to see from Shane's pov (esp from 1-2 and 3) hehe (new (old) moments) (Ilya's soul/moments/how much he wants shane/fears/first meeting with shane/that first (almost) kiss at the halloween party they talked about in chp3/ and of course the wanting that rules over Ilya's world)
I believe the timeline is pretty straightforward and clear but since we go back and forth with Ilya's flashbacks I also wanted to include a step by step timeline to avoid any confusions should they arise. It's also good, I think, if you want to refresh your memory.
We get all the events that happened from Ilya's PoV, sometimes as direct memories we didn't get from Shane, or sometimes in the form of emotional paragraphs talking about the events.
All the metaphors I drew, especially at the beginning of Chapter 1, come into full circle here, oceans/staying grounded like how Shane thinks an artist should live vs Ilya high up in the clouds in his freckled sky.
(It might be really fun to go back to Chapter 1's first paragraphs for the parallels and a better enjoyment of the full circle of all the emotions.)
Like:
***...before the freckles became a force in Ilya's life, he was just high up in his head, looking around aimlessly...
The way Shane was grounded to Earth, as if he was one with the world, as if he was part of an ocean swimming deeply, gave Ilya a reason to stay in Earth's soil.
He was so impressed and awed by him that Ilya realized what he was feeling had been the closest thing he had done to worshipping. His religion laid in brown eyes and freckles with Ilya as the most devoted saint. Adoration leaked from his eyes in the shape of salty waters, begging to be a part of that ocean Shane was swimming in so blissfully. His heart also cried to show Shane, his own soul; the king of wanting llya served burned to take Shane high up in the sky he was flying made up of his freckles in the form of stars.
But where his body physically resided was an ugly place, forcing him to text Shane those ugly words.****
Scroll through Ilya's texts!
I tried another workskin this time, and I love it! I use the same one in my texting/email/social media story that is coming up in a few days as a sweet treat hebe THERE ARE GOOGLE SEARCHES ARTICLES TWEETS NOTIFICATIONS TEXTS EMAILS PLAYLISTS YOUTUBE THUMBNAILS YOU NAME IT (i have soo many things cooking, check out my tumblr for the details) So much fun stuff is coming especially with rich!brat!shane and rich!walkedlikeadog!ilya story that is cooking along with others!
There is a scene with a toy bunny, Andrei and Ilya, which made me highly emotional. I had a lot of painful things to write about that scene but I stopped myself; it was becoming too much. (Let me add TW: mention of suicide and suicide ideation, not too heavily, but still if that's something that triggers you, please proceed with caution.)
!!!We have a Hayden finds out moment hehehehheh!!!!
It's been a journey discovering how my writing changes or how it reflects differently based on certain stuff, and I loved how challenging it got at some points because I truly want to be good at this.
With Ilya I went throughhhhhh it maybe because I relate a little too much. A lot of hours spent on self-doubting, deleting painful stuff, being scared of being too much or not enough for you guys, comparing it to my other writings which I adored and thinking everything I wrote for this chapter sucked but,,
I also loved the challenge and seeing what I could achieve, even when I hated or loved what I wrote, with words.
So yeah, I am super lucky to have you here and I hope you enjoy this chapter, WE ARE FINALLY OUT OF THE ANGST HELL.
(but me being unfortunately me, angst will scream at your face in my future stories too (maybe not in all/and not always) before sunlight will burn you)
Also, I know I write long author notes but I just love sharing my thought process about the chapters with you, sorry if its annoying for the next chapters i will keep them short and sweet (mostly about how i adored having you in this journey with me)
So excited for the new chapters and the new stories I am cooking hehe
Let me know what you think, please! Engage with me! I worship every word I receive from you.
Order and Chaos Chapter 5: Ilya's Order
