Horology, Carcinization, and Pseudohistory

A sideblog to contain my fan stuff about Transformers, including the worldbuilding and plot development of my own continuity of Transformers (leaning a little more into grounded sci-fi than the typical almost-mythical content we all know and love). Unashamedly a More Than Meets the Eye/Lost Light fan.

[geartrain-prime]

Happy Pride.

Bonus one with more text from the comic panel, giving it a funnier connotation below the line

Keep reading

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[chilewithcarnage]

transformers fans: name a woman challenge. who is your favorite canon femme bot.

chromia

air razor

nickel

velocity

black arachnia/airachnid

windblade

nautica

strika

strongarm

slipstream

Voting ended onFeb 23

1. Purposefully did not put Arcee & Elita on here because there the most well known tf femmes and the ones people default to when you ask them to name a female cybertronian.

2. I know Black Arachnia and Airachnid are not the same character, I ran out of choices.

3. Any mention of a male character with the 'hes like a woman to me excuse' ya blocked!

[geartrain-prime]

Heartbroken that my girl Stardrive was not included in this poll. She was the protagonist for the Rom crossover and is genuinely a fascinating character that should be appreciated more

...she just also happens to be a sad, wet kitten of a giant shapeshifting robot.

[steelthroat]

Everyone shut the fuck.up i will go back to reading skybound if there's opsound crumbs.

Okay i am THAT desperate. FUCK.

[quetzalpapalotl]

I'm just gonna remove all context and dangle this is front of you like a carrot

[steelthroat]

Oh my god

Oh

My god

Oh lord

Oh sweet baby primus

Please

Please don't do this to me don't give me hope for a better writing or a toxic yaoi oh my god

Oh my god what do i do with myself this is everything i wanted but at what cost

[quetzalpapalotl]

Hey

[coalballbaby]

Inviting more discussion on Stardrive because she is an unfathomably interesting character and I need more people talking about what her experience just. living must be like. IDW in itself is already a story that talks so much about how Earth and humans affected the Cybertronians’ perception of living and life, with many standout cases of TFs describing how the process of getting to know organics/humans was the most important and memorable part of their lives (Stakeout, Thundercracker, Jazz, the list goes on) despite having lived millions of years already. A part of this I think can be chalked up to how differently humans live and value their lives, short as they must be to a Transformer, and that sort of love for life affecting how they live each day invigorating beings otherwise desensitized to loss and death.

But when you think about it from Stardrive's position, who was raised by organics and lived her developmental years completely surrounded by this sort of mindset it brings up this really interesting question of. how the fuck does she transition out of that mindset with the reintegration into Cybertronian society? I mean, she would've probably internalized an organic sense of urgency when it comes to living, but this is more or less a foreign concept to Cybertronians (generally speaking), as the core goal of living under technical immortality is more to endure, and morality is a lot more abstract, tied to ideology, faction, or survival. Would her reaction to loss be surprising to Cybertronians around her? Would there be such a thing as an unsettling amount of empathy, socially? Would people who befriend her find a difference in their friendship compared to other Cybertronians in the way human-Transformer friendships feel different? class discussion

[geartrain-prime]

This is one of several things about Stardrive that continues to haunt me, and the only explanation I can think of is that "she doesn't adapt to Cybertronian perspectives on mortality, society adapts under her feet and she's left feeling even more lost."

Stardrive, from a Cybertronian cultural perspective, would be a "live fast die young" type of behavior, but 1) everyone else, due to the war and post-war disasters, is "dying young", 2) Stardrive has enough bullshit keeping her alive that she isn't dying, and 3) I don't think she's interested in adapting to Cybertronian culture. I think, from her perspective, she has more in common with humans, an alien species she's never met before now, than with Cybertronians. She no longer thinks her species is incredibly evil thanks to her life experience, but she doesn't feel welcome, and doesn't want to feel welcome without something else pushing her into that position.

[geartrain-prime]

Made this using this website, I've previously mentioned how I like the idea of previous Primes expressing themselves via the same structure as Disco Elysium, this time I stumbled through some editing software to add music. Said music was picked due to the feeling of being... very appropriate in name: Sealed Fate, from the Transformers One soundtrack.

[withered-tears]

Transformers MTMTE quotes and or dialogues I just love 1/?

(From MTMTE 1 to 7)

"You've earned the right to see the universe without a gun in your hand."

"Rodimus? It's me, the ship's genius. What? no, not Perceptor."

"Times like this, I'm glad i have a camera bolted to my head."

"could you put his brain back in his head? with corpses, I prefer to go through the eye sockets" "I cannot begging to tell you what's wrong with that sentence."

"My nickname at the academy was "shut the hell up""

"Don't say I'm irritable. It really- It really irritates me."

"It might even be fff-It might even be fff-I can't-my mouth just wont-I cant say it." "fun...?" "that's the one!"

"Dramatic escapes are worthless without witnesses."

"I'm listening. I'm also thinking of a way to purge the virus from my system, grab a blunt object, and beat the smug smile off your smug, traitorous face. Just so we're clear."

"If you must know, I can't shoot you because my trigger finger isn't working."

(ok basically every single Ratchet line in MTMTE 5)

"excuse me- is this a good place to sit down and die?"

"the thing bout me-my big thing-is this: I'm really not keen on dying. Now survival-oh wow, huge fan, put me down for some of that."

"If he seems distracted by his own fingers it's because-and I present this as an empirical truth-he is truly the stupidest person in the entire universe."

"I heard you opened it (brainstorm's suitcase) in on Hydrus 4 and the sun went out " "Lies. Filthy stinking lies. It was Hydrus 5."

"I'm thinking magnets, but I'm hoping magic powers."

part two coming one of these days

[withered-tears]

hey ten months later lets go

"Fighting the DJD is just Certain death with more letters!"

"We're scavengers- we're going to do what we do best... we're going to make use of what's been left behind"

"You told Swerve, right? so assume everyone on board knows. In fact, assume everyone on cybertron knows. In fact, assume that distant alien races otherwise untouched by civilization-""okay, okay. Point taken"

"HRRK!" ((honorable mention, the sound Tarn makes when Grimlock punches him on the dick))

"I don't believe it- you're running!" "No tarn- I'm jumping!"

"You're witnessing a sophisticated form of military parley. It's called a time out. It means no fighty-fighty."

"you're telling me those eyebrows aren't secret recording devices? that guy screams government plant" "No, quark, that guy screams lonely."

"Imagine Ultra Magnus without the warmth and people skills." ((Swerve, describing Prowl))

"Is that an accurate quote?" "..." "It should be. I think about it often enough." "me too, kid"

"pfft" "how do you even make that sound?"

"I found him paranoid, jittery, delusional and appalling at his job. I liked him. I liked him for his flaws."

"I want my hands back."

"I want to be remembered by my brains and my beauty."

"pfft" "Someone teach me how to make that sound."

"... we have to steal the matrix"

"Remember me as i was."

[decepticonsensual]

Writing Transformers fic like:

did I accidentally describe this character with a faceplate as doing things with their mouth

what are we calling it? blood? energon? spilt fuel? robot juice?

where about your person do you keep your badge sir

someday I will come up with a decent alternate swear word so I don't have to use 'fragging' all the time but it is not today

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THE TIMELINE OF THIS GODDAMN WAR

gods of TFWiki please bless me with a decent picture of this character's back

hello naughty Autobots it's try to write electromagnetism time

Decepticon military org chart (derogatory)

did Simanzi happen yet

[geartrain-prime]

Just finished Disco Elysium, and the idea that this would be a novel way to express Optimus Prime experiencing the wisdom of previous Primes struck me as something to explore, so I found This Website and pulled something together.

[starscream-is-my-wife]

I post one non shitpost art and I come back with this

[breakdownsbuttlights]

It's Ratchet loving hours tonight

[breakdownsbuttlights]

Never forget that he sets up his secret Dead End clinic -- not because he has a burning need to help the poor, not because he wants to Fight The System -- but because he's BORED AT HIS DAY JOB.

That's right. Ratchet is just so incredible and awesome as a doctor that being chief medical officer to the Primes isn't challenging enough. He needs a side hustle that's exciting because it's forbidden and maybe a little dangerous. It's actually Orion Pax who suggests starting the clinic.

I think a lot of people miscast Ratchet as a bit of a rebel because he famously almost flunks out of med school, and then he runs this clinic. He's also in Prowl's bad books as a loose cannon known for "breaking rank." But it's a mistake to think he does these things because he wants to piss off people in power or challenge an overly rigid system. He does them because he's arrogant. He is so confident in his skill and value that he believes he can do what he wants and the universe will give him a pass. (He's actually a lot like Prowl, in this respect. I wonder if the commonality ever occurs to them.)

His saving grace is a good heart and sound moral compass, which generally direct his overweening ego to do the right thing. But that is literally why he runs that clinic. He's making challenges for himself because he's confident in his own exceptionalism. He's the best asshole you can hope to meet.

[breakdownsbuttlights]

To be clear, I am not dunking on Ratchet. I love him! And it's because I love him that I feel the need to remind people not to shade him in pastels! He is not Drift's submissive wifey and he is not some starchy freedom fighter out to take down a corrupt system. He's a cocky, privileged, arrogant bastard. Who is very gentle and thoughtful and genuinely kind to his patients.

[geartrain-prime]

I love that he's like this, and that he's kinda never forced to compromise his morals, so he's got this faintly holier-than-thou attitude during the war which is... Partially deserved? Like, I don't think I ever see him put in a position where he has to compromise his position or his work to protest, say, Prowl using it to build a biological weapon, but we know what he'd do in that eventuality.

He is genuinely a good person, and maybe that makes him a little insufferable to everyone else, because he is that good and he is that noble, but he's also been more than a little lucky in where he's ended up.

[hanamiyama-basketball-club]

cyclonus is nursing political and religious beefs that nobody else alive has even been aware of in millions of years and that's very sexy of him

[decepti-thots]

cyclonus has really strong political opinions but exclusively in relation to having personal beef with political figures who died before 90% of the lost light were even born. however most of them don't pay a lot of attention to that stuff anyway, so they just assume it's that which means they never know what the fuck he's ranting about when drunk, not the fact that everything he's talking about as though it happened two weeks ago was in fact the equivalent of someone complaining about renaissance-era local politicians

[hanamiyama-basketball-club]

cyclonus got in a fistfight at the cybertronian equivalent of the first council of nicea over what kind of substance primus is fundamentally made of and he yearns to punch that guy again but he died nine million years ago

[tossawary]

None of the Transformers cartoons that I've seen so far (G1, Beast Wars, TFA, most of TFP, some of the live-action movies years ago) have brought up the fact that the Cybertronians have to be offering humans the English translations of their original names / designations. (I assume one of the comics has explored something like this at some point?) I have generally assumed that Cybertronian languages are probably utterly unpronounceable by human vocal chords and possibly also going at at least 10x speed or something.

I think it would be fun to write a fic for pretty much any continuity in which the Autobots begin their time on Earth choosing their "Earth names". Some Cybertronians may have VERY different designations and designation styles in their own languages, depending on their origins, AND THEN based on their individual personalities, they may choose a very literal translation of their original designation, a more artistic interpretation of their designation, a translation of a nickname, or they might straight-up take the opportunity to choose something entirely new. Or have their new human friends choose for them!

Which is all very cute and has the potential to be heartfelt and bittersweet! And then I started thinking about Earth names for Decepticons, which is VERY FUNNY to me, in part because I don't think every version of Megatron would care to introduce himself to Earth. Humans aren't worth talking to. In which case, when the humans ask for information on which Decepticon is which, the AUTOBOTS are probably the ones who first have to come up with Earth names for the Decepticons.

Like, can you imagine Starscream, 1-3 months or so into being on Earth, turning towards the humans to gloat about how he's going to rule this planet, going into a long introduction with an extremely lengthy and flowery interpretation of what he thinks humans should call him? ("Your Glorious Celestial Majesty" or something at the shortest.) Only for Optimus Prime or someone to say semi-apologetically: "We've already told them that an acceptable translation of your name is 'Starscream'."

Starscream: "WHAT."

Optimus Prime: "YOU weren't talking to them before. We had to call you something besides 'the red and blue plane'."

[pricklythepear]

I’ve always headcanoned their names as how they define themselves to each other, and that said names change/evolve as they grow. I mean, so many of their names are such great fits for the character, and I don’t really believe someone just looked at a sparkling and said “You will be great enough to deserve the title Ultra Magnus.”

However, Cybertronians can absolutely mistranslate these names in silly or mean ways.

For example, a take I’ve heard and put my own spin on for Starscream’s name is something about him defying death cause of how—for all that a lot of people write him as kinda wimpy—he is pretty resilient and hard to kill; my headcanon is that the stars/space symbolize death or the afterlife to Vos, so his real name is like “They who cry/scream in defiance of death”.

When translating however, who wants to tell the humans that the enemy screechy plane is called Death Defier? ‘Starscream’ isn’t wrong per se, it’s just translated very literally and takes away the meaning/nuance. It’s funny.

[geartrain-prime]

So, who was responsible for telling everyone that this one guy's name was "Swindle"?

[keferon]

Imagine you got turned into a mech and teleported to the middle of the Quintesson attack on Cybertron. But the catch is - all the characters whose Transformers toys/figures you own are in your squad and they are on your side.

If you have two Megatrons or like three Ratchets you can have all of them. Can't wait to see if someone's squad is just them and their 200 Bumblebees

On a scale. How fucked are you?

I'm fucking dead/Quintesson's slave

Kind of miserable and suffering

Eh It could've been worse

You know what. I have a pretty solid team!

I'll need like 5 minutes to save the entire Cybertron

Voting ended onNov 8, 2024

[polyhexian]

Non transformers fans; do you know who prowl is?

yes

no

I like transformers

Voting ended onNov 2, 2024

[geartrain-prime]

Which Prowl?

[clementine-kesh]

the thing is some fictional relationships simply do not work without that third guy there. it doesn’t even have to be romantic but they have to be there

[quetzalpapalotl]

One of the many layers of Cybertronian's hatred of Arcee as a crazy ultra-violent murder lady is that at this point they have all been shaped by the war and desensitized to violence and capable of terrible acts, but they can all reassure themselves that hey, at least they're not as bad as that freak.

Which is why Aileron's perspective as a Caminen removed from all this conflict is so important. She thinks are the veterans are equally messed up, but hey, Arcee is actually trying to change herself.