[neversarcastic]

When the bae thinks ur trying to cuddle but really you are just sapping their warmth to fuel your own reptilian body

[beyonslayed]

I’ll never forget that time when me and my professor were both late for class in line at a Starbucks

[marisatomay]

someone: it’s okay! you tried your best!!

me, with no idea of what my best even looks like anymore:

[falsedetective]

5 years ago i was a fucking mess & now i’m a fucking mess but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense

[silverhawk]

i was rly bummed out and then i saw this picture and im cured now

[silverhawk]

[infectiondefective]

*Kirby inhalation noise*

[spyadults]

the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads

[you-have-startled-the-witch]

*uses HTML to italicize a few words*

[boringangel-deactivated20161201]

me: ugh I’m gonna log out for a bit this is too stressful I’ll see you soon guys 

me in five minutes: 

[babyanimalgifs]

More dog snaps

[terpsikeraunos]

emily dickinson suggestion: be so reclusive that people in your town refer to you as “the myth”

[blunder]

I need a longer weekend because I need more time to do nothing.

[myrrhdotcom]

good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop.

[just-shower-thoughts]

The sun has never seen a shadow

[stillhereunfortunately]

if you’d stayed in the shower a bit longer you’d have realised the sun has never seen anything

[therubbleoroursins]

I’m fascinated by the fact that Phineas and Ferb is a show that actually exists Like I can understand how someone could have come up with the idea of an animated show about stepbrothers trying to find cool ways to spend their summer vacation And from there I can see how the characters of Candace, Isabella, Beauford, Baljeet, Jeremy, and Stacy came about But at what godforsaken point in the thought process did someone go, “Hey, what if there’s an ongoing subplot about their pet who’s a secret agent trying to stop a German guy from channeling his anger towards his abusive parents into conquering the tri-state area?” Just How

[honexjams]

hes not german hes drusselsteinian check your Facts

[kitty]

[ramblingcoyote]

meow-mory foam

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[amortizing]

“Don’t get attached to moments. Good or bad, they all pass.”

— Effy Stonem, Skins (via amargedom)