ηιηєту ρєrcєηт crαρ

indie & selective đeαи ωıи¢ħešтeя rp blog. i track sonuvabitch.

[sonuva--bitch]

i wonder if any of my old partners are still active.... 

[fromsalvation]

DEAN.

For a good long minute, Dean doubts that Cas will even sit beside him. Hell - if he doesn’t, Dean can’t hold it against him. After all the shit that’s gone down? They’re probably both a little shellshocked. There’s a gnawing fear in the pit of Dean’s chest that Cas will at any second just up & disappear - he keeps his eyes locked on him as if that will keep the angel grounded here.

It relieves Dean infinitely to watch Cas settle down beside him, especially after a second of Cas  straightening himself up (through which Dean had held his breath anxiously). Cas seems to sit down carefully, as if he’s scared to put all of his weight on the bed. He keeps both his hands and eyes off of Dean, but Dean isn’t as shy or offput - he refuses to look anywhere but Cas. Cas’ expression is about as forlorn as they come & Dean’s guilt is building by the second.

              ❝ I’m not mad at you, man. ❞

Dean mumbles reassuringly, because he knows Cas must think so. He looks all sorts of ashamed.

              ❝ I mean, yeah - the storm                thing was a little dramatic. ❞

Dean shrugs, managing that stupid half smile - typical of an insecure Winchester. He licks his lips & looks down at the floor, where their bare feet nearly touch. Carefully, he snakes his arm under Cas’ and pries his knitted hands apart to hold one. He gives it a firm squeeze. I’m still alive, says the grip of his calloused fingers.

               ❝ Look at me. ❞

He whispers, ducking his head a little with the hopes of catching Cas’ averted eyes.

Dean’s eyes are trained on him —- Castiel can feel it. Part of him wants so badly to meet his gaze; as if he needs visual confirmation that he’s still there. Yet he continues to watch the candlelight dance across his hands, knowing fully that if he were to look, it’d be too much. 

Castiel has something of a reputation to uphold. He is strong, he is resolute. He can destroy with a snap of his fingers, and he can heal with a mere touch. He is a hurricane, bottled up and confined to a human body. He has, of course, shown vulnerability in the past —- such a thing is what brought him to where he is now. But the act of crying, that is something else entirely. 

When he hears Dean say those words, however, he comes pretty damn close. He should be angry with him. He has every right to be —- and yet, he isn’t. Castiel is surprised, and a little bit doubtful; but also relieved, above all else. He allows Dean to separate his fingers, allows him to hold his hand. Castiel revels in the touch, the warmth of Dean’s skin against his own. He clings to him as if he’ll disappear if he dares to let go.

Dean’s murmur is genuine, and Castiel can’t help but oblige. He tears his gaze away from his lap ( not with out a moment’s hesitation ), looking straight into Dean’s eyes. The glow from the candles highlights Dean’s face, while also creating sharp shadows. He looks….beautiful. Ethereal. 

                ❝ I’m…I’m not angry with you, either. ❞

His voice is soft, and raw.  He knows that if he speaks any louder, his words will tremble. Castiel swallows thickly, closing his eyes. There’s a pause in which he gathers himself. 

               ❝ Dean I —— I’m afraid. The mere thought                   of losing you like this…hurts. It hurts. ❞ 

Just like that, the Shield of God crumbles. A lone tear slips down his cheek, and he ducks his head as though it’ll be enough to keep Dean from noticing. His grip on Dean’s hand grows a little bit tighter.

[sonuva--bitch]

Castiel’s expression is pitiful; Dean can tell as much from his profile alone. His eyes are locked on the carpet, his mouth drawn into a tight grimace. Dean’s heart pulls in his chest. His shoulders were heavy with guilt minutes ago, but now his whole body is weighed down by the mistake he’s made.

And yet, he still can’t quite classify what he did as a mistake. He loves Cas with his entire being... but Sam means even more to him. It’s not favoritism either, it’s just… Sam’s his brother and all. Sometimes he thinks he was born with the sole purpose of one day having a little brother to devote himself to. He’d do anything to keep Sam safe, regardless of the consequences it wreaked on the rest of his life - or in this case, his other relationships.

Cas is looking back at him now. His eyes are glossy. The lament of his expression is tear-jerking, but Dean wills the emotion back with a tight swallow. Castiel’s stare stirs a pressure within him, like he’s in the middle of a stage blinded by the spotlight. Even so, it’s hard not to admire the handsome structure of Cas’ facial features - the pull of his brow, the soft slope of his nose. He’s a work of art, the primary feature of a renaissance painting.

The relief that Cas isn’t mad runs down his spine like a shiver, but it isn’t enough to quell the ache in his chest. He’s truly hurt Cas. The angel breaks down not a minute later, and Dean responds by averting his gaze to the weapons hung on his wall. He can’t look at him when he’s like this, so open and vulnerable. Cas is a force of unbelievable capability, he wasn’t built to act like this. He’s been reduced to a sniveling mess of very human emotion - somehow Dean thinks this makes their situation intensely intimate.

              “ I know. ”

Dean says, and again he thinks of his brother. He’s very familiar with that fear.

                 “ But it’s gonna take more                      than some pills to get rid                      o’ me, you know that. ”

Again this is a poor attempt at calming the tension. Dean uncurls his fingers from Castiel’s and instead wraps his arm around the other’s shoulders. He draws him close & presses his lips to his hair.

                        “ I’m like a cockroach. ”

He whispers, and he means this in more ways than one. He’s a pest that’s impossible to get rid of. Worthless & yet an incorrigible survivor. 

[sonuva--bitch]

whats up motherfuckers

[legendarymemes]

Concern Meme

‘I’ve not seen you eat a vegetable in a week. How about I make you a proper dinner?’

‘That does not look like a flesh wound, dude.’

'Do you actually ever leave your office and sleep?’

'Sleeping on your desk totally doesn’t count.’

'I’ve seen healthier looking corpses. You should head to bed.’

'Keep hydrated! I’m concerned about you in that heat!’

'Have you practised any self-care today?’

'Do you want me to run a warm bath for you? We can use your favourite bubble bar.’

'I’ll hold your hair. Just take deep breaths.’

'I know there was a story about a girl who lived on nothing but pizza, but I really don’t think you’ll manage to do the same!’

'You look terrible. I mean, you look beautiful as ever, but also super sick.’

'Please go and rest? I’m so worried about you!’

'You need to sit for a while. Please? You’re always on your feet.’

'All this stress isn’t good for you.’

'Would you like a back-rub?’

'C'mon, look at me! Don’t close your eyes, okay?’

'Wake up! Come on, please! Come back to me!’

'You’re having a nightmare! It’s not real, I’m here!’

'What do you normally do to help your anxiety? We can do that.’

'Would you like me to sit with you while you go through this?’

'Are you okay for me to touch you? You can nod or shake your head.’

'Breathe, that’s it. Nice and steady.’

'I’m right here, I promise. I’m not going anywhere.’

'You can cry if you need to, it’s alright. No one would think badly of you.’

'Do you want a hug?’

'I’ll stay right with you until you fall asleep.’

'You went really dizzy there for a second. Can you hear me now?’

'I’ve got you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Just stay with me, please…’

'Where does it hurt? Can you show me?’

'I have a first aid kit, I can fix you up.' 

[hisflaws-a]

The Walking Dead S6 Finale prompts

***THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR LAST DAY ON EARTH.       ↳ CAUTION: DARK THEMES PRESENT

❛ You are alive. ❜

❛ I said NO! ❜

❛ If you were worried about an attack you wouldn’t be leaving! ❜

❛ Those Saviors are out there! ❜

❛ That’s not happening to you! I’m not gonna let it. ❜

❛ They’re out there, so I’m gonna be there with you. ❜

❛ You WANT to run into them, right? You HOPE they show up. ❜

❛ SCREW YOU, I’m going! ❜

❛ Why the face? ❜

❛ You broke the rules, so folks had to die. ❜

❛ This is how it has to be. ❜

❛ What happens if you don’t come back? How am I supposed to live with that?! ❜

❛ Just survive somehow. ❜

❛ You’re just gonna have to punch me in the face and tie me up again. ❜

❛ I will not fail you. ❜

❛ I told you not to come! ❜

❛ Everything we’ve done, we’ve done together. ❜

❛ You need stitches. ❜

❛ What the bitch?? ❜

❛ We can make a deal right here, right now. ❜

❛ You wanna make today your last day on earth? ❜

❛ Do you really think you can just come here and tell me to come back?! ❜

❛ I care about them. That’s why I can’t be there! ❜

❛ Out here on your own, you’ll die. ❜

❛ I said GO! Please just go… ❜

❛ BITCH NUTS! ❜

❛ Each breath is getting harder. ❜

❛ You’re gonna lie there and I’m gonna watch you die. ❜

❛ I believe in you. ❜

❛ What the hell’s wrong with you?! ❜

❛ The world doesn’t decide, YOU decide! ❜

❛ You don’t get to walk away and get what you want! ❜

❛ You can survive this! ❜

❛ We are neck deep up shit creek with our mouths wide open! ❜

❛ They’re probably waiting for us right now. ❜

❛ You’re a survivor, you always were. ❜

❛ I’m not gonna let anybody die like that again. ❜

❛ We’re done talking– time to listen! ❜

❛ I’m gonna need you on your knees. ❜

❛ Pissin’ our pants yet? ❜

❛ Gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon! ❜

❛ I do not appreciate you killing my men. ❜

❛ You are SO gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes. ❜

❛ You don’t mess with the new world order. ❜

❛ Give me your shit or I will kill you. ❜

❛ You work for me now. ❜

❛ You have shit, you give it to me. ❜

❛ You are not safe, not even close. ❜

❛ The more you fight back, the harder it will be. ❜

❛ I want you to work for me. You can’t do that if you’re dead now, can you? ❜

❛ You’re gonna pay! ❜

❛ I gotta shave this shit. ❜

❛ Lighten up— at least cry a little! ❜

❛ You look shitty. Let’s just put you outta your misery right now… ❜

❛ Sucks, don’t it- the moment you realize you don’t know shit? ❜

❛ Don’t make it easy on me! ❜

❛ You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry… ❜

❛ Look at that, takin’ it like a champ! ❜

[octomoosey]

SPN Reverse Graphics Challenge | octomoosey ↳ prompt: samulet

[sonuva--bitch]

cas.

                  ❝ Dean, stop this! ❞

He’s all but snapped, shielding himself from his fear with anger. Anger is easier. Simpler. It empowers him, builds him up —- whereas fear is belittling. Fear is a liability. It is a weakness that he cannot allow, not in this moment. So he bottles it, and pretends that he’s more enraged than terrified. 

                ❝ I am not giving up. I’m doing this to                         protect you. I don’t want you to die,                         Dean. I can’t let you die —- I won’t.  ❞

Lips curl with the traces of a snarl as he speaks, taking the steps forward that will place him in Dean’s personal space. His breaths are heavy, eyes ablaze  with the very fury that courses through his veins. 

If he had his way, this would be simple. They would exchange their goodbyes, have one last moment together, and that would be it; but the world never seems to work in favor of Castiel, and this has become far more difficult than it has to be. 

                 ❝ I am asking you —- I am begging you —- to                     stow your stubbornness and your self-                      sacrificial tendencies. Just this once! ❞

The excitement of the angels increases in frequency, deafening him from the inside out. His panic begins to spike. They’re running out of time. 

                ❝ … Just let me do this! ❞

Castiel steps into his bubble - as he’s always been apt to - and suddenly, it’s difficult to stay angry with him. Dean’s heart drops & he holds his breath. Is this the last time Cas will disregard his personal space? Will he ever get to stand this close to him again? This is the perfect distance at which to admire the color of Cas’ eyes & the perfect length of his eyelashes & the sharp shape of his nose. Cas smells like rain - how the hell do you get over someone who smells like rain? He’ll be grieving over every thunderstorm if Cas gets what he wants.

Castiel is nearing the end of his heroic monologue & Dean isn’t buying it. When he gets into Cas’ face, he does so aggressively - he’s the force to be reckoned with here, no angel has anything on him.

        ❝ I said no! ❞

Dean shouts, overlapping the final bit of Cas’ just let me do this. His explosive frustration is gonna get them caught - what’s the point in hiding if you aren’t gonna keep quiet? But he’s got a point to make & he’s gonna get it across. Whereas Cas had stepped into his personal space, Dean has barged into Cas’ - he’s begging him to try & walk out that door without him, just so he can pull exactly what Cas doesn’t want him to. Cas could procure a lock of every kind to keep Dean holed up in here & he’d still find a way to be with him through this because that’s exactly what this is about - being with him. Sticking together. The two of them against the world - or at least, an entire garrison of angels… Dean’s not sure which would go down easier.

Dean’s so close he can feel Cas’ breath on his lips. He looks between Cas’ eyes, searching for any hint of a chink in his exterior. When he doesn’t find one, Dean’s expression only hardens.

         ❝ I’m sick of it always            comin’ down to this. ❞

He mutters, sounding a little more devastated than anything. He’s doing everything he can to keep his guard up & his walls sturdy, but he can hear banging upstairs - their clock is ticking. Dean’s eyes are glassy, his frown drawn tight. He shakes his head. He’s crumbling.

          ❝ - I love you. ❞

It’s the first time he’s said it. He swallows hard & he exhales sharply & he builds himself back up again. As he regains his bullheaded composure, he demands - no, he pleads:

         ❝ Don’t do this to me. ❞

[perditionsflames]

Castiel - Season 8

[bilosan]

5.15 | requested by anon

[roleplaymmemes]

Anonymously or not, tell me what you've noticed that is different about my portrayal of my muse than other roleplayers you've seen play the same muse

[outofthewood]

How’s Dean, by the way? I hear he did good, took Abaddon down.

[sam-and-dean-winchesters]

[frozen-delight]

4x19 | Jump the Shark

[sonuva--bitch]

sam.

Sam made a movement with his mouth, like he’d tsked at Deanbut no noise had come out. “What kind of test would it be if I told you?” Hecrooned, ignoring the nervousness he could scent thick on the air and the wayDean’s clenching his jaw to keep himself steady. He could be a passably niceAlpha when he wasn’t tested.

Unfortunately, Dean had a fascination with toeing the line.

“You’d have time to prepare.” He inched his hold on theother’s hair back, just a little, just enough to be on the razor edge ofpainful, teetering nearly into sting. “Anything to say?” He asked. Dean wouldknow what he meant. That question was his last chance to bow and apologize inan attempt to avoid whatever he had in mind.

Whether or not it worked depended on how well Dean did it.

Anything to say?

Damn straight he's got something to say - don't fucking kill me. Sam's got a hold so tight on his hair Dean's surprised it isn't tearing out in tufts. He closes his eyes & exhales curtly in hopes of stabilizing himself. He doesn't know what his brother has in store for him, but he knows it isn't good. This test will be his punishment.

Dean knows what his brother wants to hear is an apology, and he knows giving him one will likely lessen the severity of the ‘’endurance test’’... but he's come too far to back down now. Whatever Sam's got planned for him, he'll suck it up & endure it - that's the point of it, right?

Dean opens his eyes & he glowers at Sam. His tea green eyes harbor all the disgust & hate he'd never dare put into words. It's times like this, when Sam's got the upperhand, that Dean wishes the old Sammy would come to his senses. ----He never does.

The time slot for apology ticks away, and Dean makes a point not to speak.

[sonuva--bitch]

really in the mood for some brother lovin’

[winchesterenthusiast]

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, everyone.

[sammit-janet]

[some-people-call-it-tragic]