crazy that in the 1970s they were like, "fine, women can play sports. but because they're innately less athletic than men, only in a special ghettoized League For The Frail And Delicate where they get paid less 😊". And not only is that still the system in 2023, but viciously lashing out at the smallest challenges to that system gets framed as Feminist Praxis
even setting aside the fact that gendered bodytype averages aren't universals, and plenty of individual (cis) women and (cis) men could easily go to toe to toe. have we considered that the fact that all the most prominent and well-paid sports are ones that require things like Being Tall and Having Muscle Mass, as opposed to, ex, gymnastics...is itself an artifact of sexism
Reading reviews for havdalah candles written by unsuspecting Christian housewives who bought them to use for dinner candles is my new passion. I’ll be laughing for an eternity.
For my goyische followers: Havdalah is a service to mark the end of shabbat and the beginning of the week. The flame is big so that everyone at the service can see it. You also only have it lit for a few minutes before extinguishing it (traditionally in wine). They are not table candles. My guess is that these people bought them because they’re pretty and braided without knowing or caring what they’re used for.
For my Jewish followers: the goyim are at it again.
A short (actually very long) list of Call the Midwife characters who deserved better
Mains who 100% deserved better
- Lucille, she deserved a triumphant exit not one that nuked her character just to keep a man on the show. She also deserved to be written by more diverse writers.
- Joyce, she deserved a better ‘secret’ (a gf perhaps) and much better writing. She deserved better than be Rosalind’s black best friend. She also deserved better and more diverse writers.
- Rosalind, she deserved better than being Cyril’s wife replacement and to be rushed into marriage and motherhood before she is ready. She deserved more development and more time to be herself.
Mains who deserved somewhat better
- Trixie, she deserved better than useless Matthew. She should have been able to lead the show into the 70s using her outfits, politics and AA meetings. Any relationships should have boosted the character not dragged her down.
- Nancy, she deserved better than being rushed into a new marriage and a new baby with a man she didn’t know. She also deserved more depth around the Colette situation. If Heidi wasn’t a coward, she could have given Nancy as gf.
- Val deserved a happy exit, or at least a happy update but at least she was spared from being paired with a mediocre man.
- Cynthia deserved a happy update.
- Shelagh, she deserved more than her whole life being doccy mansplain and those kids. She deserved a hobby that was just for her.
Minor characters who deserved better
- Esther, she deserved more than being a baby machine for the Turners and being trapped with all those kids. Could she not have gotten a fairytale ending where she ended up in the UK to be close to Mei?
- Mei, deserved more than being the shows diversity points. There was so much that could have been explored being a transracial adopted in the 1960s/70s that wouldn’t have been too taxing for the child actress.
- Hari, deserved more depth. The 1970s were a difficult time for British Asians and he would have been a great way to explore it. A Joyce and Hari friendship (and strictly friendship) would have been interesting to explore.
- Mrs Wallace, deserved so much more than being Cyril’s emotional support church lady. She was sitting on so much unexplored depth. Where was Mr Wallace? Tell us about her being a Windrush immigrant in the early 50s? Give us an unexpected friendship between her and Joyce.
- Geoffrey, deserved more than being the gay best friend. I usually want less men, but there was so much going in the 1970s re gay liberation. He would have been a great way to explore that.
- Tim should have been Queer. A friendship between Tim and Geoffrey would have been good.
- Magda, deserved better writing about Hungry and communism. She also deserved more than a two ep arc to say ‘abortion being illegal is bad’ for the 10th time.
I dunno if this book is available everywhere but it’s such an interesting reflection on fandom. While it does pathologise the main character a bit (she suffers a traumatic event and then stalks an actor), some of the fandom interactions felt very familiar.
While, I usually stay away from the real life side of fandom because for me the joy of fandom is being like an over eager literature student and examining and reimagining the text, I know I can certainly get very parasocial.
I can also reflect in myself (and only myself) that when I am going through something in life, I retreat to fandom. Like the character in the book fandom is place where I can go hide to avoid dealing with emotions. Also as someone who does struggle with friendships, I enjoy the community aspect of it, even though I can dominate the conversation and quite frankly be absolutely unhinged.
This is not to pathologise anyone or say all people are like this. Many people have a healthy relationship with it all. I’m also mindful that sports fandom is generally more accepted because it’s a ‘masculine’ hobby, and there are literally people whose whole mood depends on whether their sports team won a game.
It’s just interesting to incoherently reflect.
Amanda Montell’s ‘The Age of Magical Overthinking’ also touches on this in the context of the fandom around a certain female pop star. The argument is that as many ‘privileged’ people don’t really have something fight against and also have limited places to just be, we’ve retreated behind a keyboard and into these fandom spaces which can be healthy, but also not be.
For me personally, I’ve always thought that the creative side of fandom, fills a space for people who have a little bit of talent in things like writing and art, but want to keep it a hobby or are shut out of a career in the arts because of their economic situation or disability or other factors. I know, that if money was no issue, I’d like to have a job that involves writing/critique and history. Alas, I have to pay my bills and there’s not really the option to explore that where I live, so I will write my silly little fanfics and critique tv shows.
I’m not hanging up my fandom hat, and will forever be annoying on here, but it’s interesting to reflect on the wider context of it all.
fandom etiquette as a whole died when people who didn’t grow up on fandoms became stans during lockdown, yes, but why am i seeing people openly mocking fics on twitter. why am i seeing screenshots of fics with captions like “bro what is this 😭.” why am i seeing people mock fic writers for not knowing how sports or theater or college or any other organization operates in the real world.
“college is absolutely nothing like this” “why are we writing four people on the team scoring a hat trick in one game” “so tech work is nothing like this, hope that helps!”
if you don’t like a fic, and if you can’t suspend your belief enough to enjoy a fic that exaggerates or ignores real-world orgs, you don’t have to read it. you don’t have to screenshot it and put it on blast for twitter. you don’t have to post a link to it in the replies. the back button is literally there on your phone. it’s not giving baby’s first fandom anymore, it’s giving entitled asshole and it isn’t as cute as you think it is.
Literally cannot believe I was ever scared of getting older like this is awesome. Learning so many new things about myself & reacting to things that used to get under my skin so differently. This is so sexy.
kaledo-art
ellievsbear
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
