𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅 𝒂𝒔𝒔

[sorry-sucker]

what if everything works out what if it's all worth it in the end

[i-am-a-freg]

I think a giant 7ft scythe would greatly benefit my appearance

[sorry-sucker]

felt depressed as fuck so I went shopping and tried some Indian food and ice cream. I'm moving like Anthony Bourdain and I can't say it didn't help

[sorry-sucker]

it's actually so fucked that wounds are inevitable and take time to heal

[sorry-sucker]

yess girl let's all get skinnier and skinnier haha this is completely normal slaayy

[evilscheme]

A belly can be a "slut waist" too. If you're not a fearful little freak

[cykelops]

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

[imatmywormrightnow]

I seem to be living a very expensive lifestyle called eating food regularly

[glitterypopcorn]

that? oh thats the mysterious bruise i got thursday , #mybruise

[ot3]

its awesome that neither mind reading nor god are real and all of the thoughts inside of your head are completely private and consequenceless forever #myprivacy

[puppyoid]

sitting in the cuck chair in full plate mail long sword resting on my knees one foot propped up on a skull

[11thsense]

Yasss who else is a kinda lame aimless adult in they mid to late 20s

[probuccalfat]

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

[the-apocrypha]

other assorted roles may include

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

announcing "Horses!" when there are horses

[lynx-girl]

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

[help-my-ocs-breached-containmen]

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[djbodyhorror]

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

[starofhisheart]

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude