Soulbonding is a connection to a person from another world/place that often resembles a fictional character. This is a blog to offer help with soulbonding.
Revisiting this blog now that we have had time to grow and heal
Hey guys, I am the host for the people who used to post on here and I have recently decided to revisit this blog since I have seen some people talking about it again in a positive light. After reading through all of the posts on here, I have come to the realization that a lot of us (including and especially me) were kind of being assholes when we made this blog, even if our intentions were to help people and we did some small amount of good at the time with collecting resources and advice.
The bottom line is, we were judgemental dicks who tried to tell people how they should or shouldn’t handle their spirituality, something very important and close to the heart. Our impulsiveness and misguided desire to help others I feel like did a lot more harm than good. And the only thing to do about that is to apologize and promise to be better people as we try to move forward with our lives. I suffer from paranoia due to PTSD and when we are not on our meds I am an insufferably horrible person to be around.
I was constantly fighting and seeking drama without even realizing it because I thought it was normal. When every single day you get fifteen phonecalls that have people screaming at you/gaslighting you and you also grew up surrounded by family who would do similar things, fighting and lashing out becomes the norm because it’s all that you really know. In these situations, nothing can help you but yourself and taking the drastic actions you’re too scared to do in order to finally take your life back. I was an idiot and I thought that I was fine because I had a therapist and I was “getting help” when in reality, I wasn’t really being helped at all and I was just spiraling and spiraling into more denial because my therapist couldn’t really keep my abuser away from me and any progress I made in therapy was pretty much instantly undone the second my abuser tried to call me or sometimes break into my house uninvited. And it was a catch 22 because no one wanted to be around us for very long when we weren’t medicated and it was hard to find real support or connections for very long since we kept fucking it up in some way and none of the experimental “system rules” we came up with ever seemed to do any good with preventing it.
But that isn’t normal. And I shouldn’t have let myself or anyone in our system become this kind of person. I honestly kind of hate my past self even reading some of the things I wrote on here and typing out this post lol.
Also, I felt like we constantly had some invisible bar we had to reach to ever be accepted by anyone which is part of why we had such a unreasonably strict approach to this blog. When everyone leaves you because you are a toxic person to be around and you are aware that something is wrong but you don’t know what it is, it makes you try to people please in the desperate hope that it can make you less of a broken person.
So again, I want to apologize to everyone we hurt with this blog. We can act like adults now and we are in a much better place. We have mostly retired from the internet lately and I think this trend is probably going to continue since it is just better for our mental health when we don’t post things that thousands of strangers can see and be hurt by if we fuck it up. We have finally managed to cut our abuser out of our lives for good in a way where we can finally feel safe and not feel like someone is going to come after us at any time or stalk us even if it took years to do.
But I’m done with fighting people all the time because the truth is, it doesn’t help anyone in the end, especially not with online discourse. All it does it make things worse and get people hurt. Hell, I’m even done with the community itself because I can’t trust myself not to fall back into the same patterns and fuck it up again. From now on, we are going to put all of our newly found energy and time into becoming the best people we can be and just existing away from the online soulbonding community and most online communities in general.
No more people pleasing. No more being on edge all the time. No more blogs. No more telling people what they should or shouldn’t do or what is or isn’t going on. This is soulbonding. No one even knows wtf we are really dealing with or a lot of the hard gritty things behind why soulbonds are a thing in the first place. All we have is theories and our theories aren’t better or worse than other people’s theories. Even if people don’t see soulbonding the way we do, in the end that is no longer our business because soulbonding should be a personal thing that people should explore themselves.
So while reading through this blog, please take everything here with a grain of salt. Yes, there are bits of good or helpful information here, but some of us were assholes and I 100% admit that and want to not be one anymore.
Hey guys, so you might have noticed that this blog has not been very active lately. This is because there have been a lot of things going on in our lives and we have had to deal with them as they come.
To everyone who sent in asks, we apologize that they have not been answered, but as of writing this we are not able to continue running this blog because of more personal reasons. As such, we will be going on a break until further notice. We are not sure when or if we will decide to pick this blog up again, but for now it does not seem to be possible for us to continue running it while everything else is going on.
However, since the discord server we promote here is it’s own thing that is separate but connected to this blog, you are still free to jump on there if you have any soulbonding questions or needs. Honestly, the server is probably going to be more effective at meeting them anyway because you can get advice from a bunch of soulbonds and soulbonders that go beyond just us.
If you have any desire to join the discord, please contact this blog and we will send you a link.
If you can soulbond to a physical person, do they know? Is it the same as having a headmate?
I’m just curious is all
Hope you’re having a good day!
No. If this is happening it is not a soulbond by the definition referred to on this blog and there is something else going on. A soulbond by the definition we use is a connection of some kind with someone from another place. If it's a connection between two physical people with no other entities involved, that is not soulbonding in the sense that we use the word.
Something that might cause this confusion though is the common fanfiction trope and concept of a bond (often romantic) between two physical people with the same name. This is sometimes referred to as soulbonding, but it is not the kind of soulbonding this blog is really about and you should probably look elsewhere for information about what might be happening since this blog is for the kind of soulbonding that involves entities from other places and we do not have very much knowledge of the other use of the word aside from seeing a few things that pop up in searches accidentally.
Hey last anon, the difference between humans and angels is that humans have an inborn tendency to sin while angels do not. If they sin it is deliberate, they fall away and become demons and can't be restored to God while humans can be forgiven through Jesus's death if they repent from their sin and believe it covers it. I think she just doesn't want you to hold her to an impossible standard. Also if she was claiming to be another god that would be a sin too. Hope this helps. Also see 1 John 4.
Hey anon, this is probably good advice for recognizing some Christianity based angels (although, we do have a lack of experience dealing with this kind of thing admittedly because we are not Christian ourselves and never have been).
However, it's important to keep in mind when soulbonding that this will not always be the case. When it comes to beings that call themselves angels or demons or fall into those categories, it is also very important to keep in mind that there can be major differences when you are dealing with them to the ones recorded in our religions and such here. This is because, like any other soulbond, they can fall under any number of infinite possibilities and be any possible "version".
Therefore, in the context of soulbonding these terms should definitely be taken more loosely and seen from a more general perspective instead of a Christian focused one unless it is relevant.
I hope this helps and again, the advice would likely be helpful in a case that there is a need to focus on the Christian aspect of this kind of thing.
We are unsure just what kind of angel the previous anon was dealing with, but hopefully they have gotten some information that might help them either way.
Hello, since Jan 2020, i've been "soulbonded" and my I have been thinking my soulbond is an angel or deity of some sorts. They claim to be my spiritual protector and guardian, however she claims that she isn't an angel and is simply just a regular person, like me. But from what she tells me, she is in touch with angels and can call upon them to help her, and is very religious (she's a Christian). She is amazing and I love her, but do you think she is actually an angel? Or is she just saying that
If she says she isn't an angel, there is a good chance she is not one unless she has a very good reason to lie to you. I would take her at her word on that.
Hey, Newbie Anon here again! Any tips to start with meditating? I've meditated once or twice, but it wasn't a fun experience for me due to the circumstances (was sleep deprived, hadn't eaten in a while, and was in the midst of a mental breakdown) so I'm a bit afraid to try and meditate again.
I would do what you did before to start with, but under better circumstances since it might change how things go. There are also a lot of good meditation guides out there on places like youtube that can get you started with the basics if that would be helpful. You also might want to consider meditations that help open yourself up as they likely would also be good.
If anyone else wants to add to this and share your meditation methods that might help this anon, feel free to.
i've been so busy lately, and had an extremely transformative experience in my life that was very, very wonderful, but i feel like... ever since then, my connection with my soulbond (who is a permanent resident) has grown weaker. he's been with me for, god, maybe five or six years now? and he's always told me he'll be around as long as i need him.
but i think he's getting ready to move on - he's lonely, and i do the best i can to keep him company but where i'm at in my life, my mental health is hardly well enough for just me to handle, and i don't have the energy to be With my soulbond at the same time. my brain can only handle my presence, these days. i love him dearly and i feel terrible that i can't be there with him how i used to. he isn't leaving yet - we don't know for sure when that will be - but i think when he does, it will be permanent. and i've been with him for so long that i am terrified of losing him. he's happy to stay here for now, i know that much. but a part of that happiness is in knowing he can leave when he needs to.
i guess my question is - i feel like i'm already grieving him, but he's still here. just... muted. and i think that's my fault. i want to connect with him again, and i feel like i've forgotten how. do you have any advice for this kind of situation, like at all?
You could possibly try to forge some kind of long distance bond if he does need to leave. That way it will be more passive and probably take a lot less energy but you might be able to stay in touch.
Some ways to connect with him would be just doing things that remind you of him or do things with him that you both enjoy. This should help with reconnecting.
could you please explain what is the purpose of soul bond?
If you are talking about unintentional soulbonds, this is really more of a philosophical question than anything else and can be applied to a lot of things. Does anything that isn't built by us intentionally really have a "purpose" or do they just have ones we make up? This is kind of like asking if salamanders have a purpose. They just kind of exist and are there, but do they have a purpose?
If you are specifically talking about intentional soulbonding, people are usually motivated by curiosity or a drive for friendship with that.
Hey! So, would it be possible to soulbond through reality shifting? Like, shifting to the character’s universe and asking if they’d like to soulbond? Or are those entirely separate?
We have not personally tried that, but it seems like it could be very possible to do. I would recommend explaining what is going on and asking before you do though and that part might be kind of difficult.
Okay, extremely weird question. Could a person soulbond a character from a certain source but from a different canon, when they have already soulbonded with a character of that source? I'll explain. There has been this day tripper in our system lately. His canon is VERY different from his source. Could it happen to soulbond another character from the same source, but from a canon more similar to what happened in the original source? Or maybe even the same character? I hope this makes sense.
Yes, this is not only possible but actually more common than you think. You can actually have infinite "versions" that you soulbond with potentially.
I've been trying to soulbond someone lately but I'm having difficulty with it. Everytime I feel like I even *might* be getting close to him, I get nervous and back out before I can get any more progress. He's really important to me, and that's probably part of why, but I don't know how to get around this issue
Maybe try to start out small. Like maybe connect with him in dreams if at all possible. It can sometimes be less stressful.
Hello I’m sorry English is not my first language. I’ve had a soulbond since the beginning of this year. I know he is but I’m raised as an atheist and there’s this tiny part of my brain that can’t be convinced of this. I’m actually not an atheist anymore but I struggle a lot with that part because it’s part of the foundation of my upbringing. I thought that he was a walk in tulpa at first but I’m sure he is a soulbond, I didn’t know what that was back then but he tried so hard to tell me he IS actually who he says he is and that he’s not from here and I didn’t understand because I didn’t know what a soulbond was. I learned what a soulbond is in April or March and he immediately told me that is what he is. There’s more to him that convinces me that he is a soulbond but I wanted to ask if you have any tips about this doubt? It’s actually not only about him being a soulbond but sometimes about him being real or not as wel. This doubt that keeps coming back to me is hard for him to deal with and I really don’t want to do that to him but it’s so hard to stop.
A lot of former atheists and skeptics that become soulbonders actually do struggle with this. The best advice I can give it so focus on your own experiences. What matters is what is happening with them and what you are perceiving. If you decide to label it as soulbonding then that is a choice you are making because it is a word that describes your experiences. The fact that you are interacting with an entity is real and the facts you have observed are real.
Also as a slightly off topic disclaimer for anyone else reading this, Atheism and soulbonding do not necessarily have to be at odds with eachother. Soulbonding as a concept does not have to do with any beliefs in any god, so there can also be soulbonder atheists and we have encountered them. Your beliefs outside of soulbonding are your choice and as long as they aren't hurting anyone they should be respected.
We can't find anything on how to help a 'bond that feels displaced. He just got here and we're Kinda Poor so we can't just get him his cloak/go eat something that he might at home/etc. so we're thinking more like thing to help him defocus himself*.
It doesn't help that today (when we sent this in) is Halloween, he probably could have adjusted okay-ish if he didn't see someone wearing his cloak as a costume but now he feels conflicted about that**. We're fine now, but he did stare for a bit too long and that person mistook us as a fan of some fandom we don't know much about***.
We can't let him go back/There's not really a place for him to go back to that would be any better than our system from what we can tell, and we're mostly asking for advice in case this happens again. We think he just feels displaced or like there's an element missing here that wasn't missing back home.
*He is focusing too much, it comes from the interplay between our autism, adhd, and his specific universe/"source"/home world. We aren't looking to dissociate or anything, we just need to stop people from psyching themselves out.
**Taking the compliment, but also just...not understanding why some rando is trying to look like him.
***We're going to sound insane, but somehow we have this 'bond and know some potential details about him before we've even seen him in his canon. We got his name (mostly) right, have a feeling over certain parts of canon that we have confirmed with a friend to have been mostly correct (although our 'bond may have interpreted the reasons a little differently) despite not...seeing...the arc(s) involved, etc.
This is a very tricky situation and is unfortunately a very common one. The majority of soulbonders tend to not have the financial means to give bonds with very lavish lifestyles what they are used to.
The best way to deal with it we have found is to go and do things here that said bond did not have back home but are free/cheap if this is possible. That way they can focus on what they are gaining instead of what they are missing out on. Things like taking a walk in a nice location outdoors, getting cheap junk food that tastes really good (don’t over do it with this but a little every now and then is ok), or consuming free/cheap media are good.
It can be a little more complicated though if they are from somewhere similar to here and they are used to a more lavish lifestyle. The above methods might not work as well in this case and the best thing to do when it’s like this seems to sadly just be to give it time. They will eventually adjust to it and be able to tolerate it even if they might still miss what they had.
In both cases, spending a lot of time with people that they get along with and making/hanging out with friends will help a lot, so make sure that this is happening if you can.
we absolutely love seeing people who are in loving, committed relationships with headmates, soulbonds, fictional characters, etc. whether you chose this path or this path chose you, you are super amazing and we’re rooting for you!
I’ve seen some stuff about soulbonding and I’m kinda interested in exploring it myself. Does anyone in that community have resources to recommend?
Also, I have a question: the character I want to soulbond with is a f/o of mine (not comfy sharing who on this blog ^_^) Would that be creepy/immoral to do? Or would the version of the character only be the one I write/draw who’s already into me? Assuming there’s multiple versions of them in the multiverse. I’m just kinda worried it might get awkward if the soulbond works but they don’t share my feelings.
It wouldn’t be immoral if you just want to interact with them, but I wouldn’t go into it with the expectation of getting into a relationship with them for many reasons. If you end up having a crush on them because they still strongly resemble your F/O and they end up liking you back and wanting to start something then that is fine, but when you run into them they will most likely not know who you are already unless certain circumstances apply and you will have to build something new with them. The reason why most soulbonders say you shouldn’t bond with people with the intention of getting into a relationship with the character is largely because you will end up seeing them as something they aren’t and this will often times cause problems for both of you. It’s important to remember that soulbonds are not characters in and of themselves and they are their own entities.
As far as which version you are talking about goes, you could run into just about any “version” that exists potentially. This is something you should be ready for.
It sounds like you might also want to try reality shifting though if you are looking to interact with a specific “version” that already knows who you are and likes you. Not because bonding with someone like that would be immoral or wrong, but because you might get something more along the lines of what you are looking for.
The choice is ultimately up to you though and if you are aware of what might happen if you soulbond and you still want to go for it feel free to!
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