Surprised again by Anna’s sudden outburst, Hans froze. He couldn’t answer her as quickly as she wanted him to. He thought back to the first night he met Anna. Did he dislike her? Not at all. He didn’t want to kill her at first. He actually rather liked the princess the first day he met her. He was so used to having people shut him out and treat him like dirt. She didn’t do that. She ran around Arendelle with him on some sort of a fling. Hans knew Anna wasn’t a bad person. He, however, was. He just didn’t know how to stop being one.
Finally, he thought of an answer. “I…I don’t know,” he sighed. “At first I didn’t hate you. I know that. But…Anna, I’m not so sure what love even is.”
Anna sighed heavily and rested her chin her hands. She tried to subtly wipe the tears away from her face, but she knew they were noticeable by now. Surely by now her eyes had become red and puffy.
The princess thought back to when Hans and she had just met. She had felt so in love.. like nothing could ever harm her. Of course, she was wrong. Now she knew for a fact that she was never truly aware of what love was. What she had with Hans was.. excitement, maybe even a hint of puppy love. But never anything more than that.
She snapped back to reality at his words, a sudden anger rising inside of her. Anna pointed a freckled finger to her own chest, “And you think I do? I haven’t the slightest idea of what love is! I mean, yeah okay an act of true love thawed my heart and all,” The princess was staring him down now, “But that was sisterly love. And sisterly love doesn’t teach you a damn thing about romantic love.”
Her face reddened as she became more worked up on the subject, “I thought I could have that with you! I wanted to have that with you!.. I.. We.. We could’ve figured out this whole love thing together..” She reached out to place a hand on his, but promptly stopped herself, and retracted it to her own lap immediately, “There was something there, Hans. I felt it.”
More conflicting feelings struck the prince as he listened to Anna’s words. Was there really something between them…? Hans had gone about two years thinking that everything he had with Anna was false. She had just met him that day. How could she have possibly loved him so much?
Hans went back to reviewing how he’d felt about her. He didn’t see her as more than a tool that night, yet it still felt right to be with her. It was as if he knew he didn’t love her but wanted to pretend that he did. Upon this conversation with Anna, he’d finally started to realize just why he wanted to live in that fantasy world for so long. Perhaps it wasn’t the position of king he longed for so badly. Maybe he just wanted someone to love him.
He had finally received love with Anna. At last someone didn’t think he was a screw-up or pretend not to see him. Yet…he had thrown all of that away…
Maybe he didn’t deserve good things. He’d always put on this act his whole life. He portrayed himself as a hero, perfection, handsome, charming, flawless. He was so much better than everyone else. However…that was only one of his many lies. Hans didn’t think he was a hero at all. He just acted like he was to make him feel better about himself. The words of his past were branded into his mind: a mistake, worthless, horrible, messed up…his existence was pointless. Of course, he’d never let anyone know that he felt that way about himself. He had to keep up his act but…god it was so hard sometimes.
"Anna…" he searched for the right words to say to her, not wanting to give away too much about how he really felt. "O-Of course you know what love is! What about Kristoff? You found him, right? You’re happy with him…"
A sudden pang of jealousy made it’s way through Hans’ heart somehow, but he ignored it. He had no reason to be jealous of Kristoff…well except for the fact that he’d found someone who truly loved him. But it seemed like everyone but Hans had that in their life.
