you may have noticed that i have been absent for a while now. i’ve been lurking on my social media but not posting/writing anything new. that is because i will be announcing my retirement from fandom life.
i’ve been involved in fandom for over 10 years now, and 3 of those lovely years were spent actively in the haikyuu fandom. they were my favorite time on the internet, and the haikyuu fandom has led me to make lovely friends that i hope to keep for a long time.
over the course of these years, my life has progressed in a positive way, and i do not have the same time, energy, and dedication to fandom as i used to. this isn’t to say that i will never write fanfic again, but rather that as of right now, i cannot guarantee that i will be back.
as for “a study in tenderness”— it will remain unfinished. i may still return to it someday (there is an unfinished draft of the next chapter sitting in my computer), but frankly, i left it in a good enough place for me to be content with leaving it as is.
i plan to delete my fandom social medias over the next few days, except for my tumblr. if i return or have something to say, it will be here (@spadebrigade). thank you all for the fun times and support on my writing. <3
I'm going to preface this by saying that i am not an expert in ANY form of poetry, just an enthusiast. Also, this post is... really long. Too long? Definitely too long. Whoops! I love poetry.
If you ask most English-speaking people (or haiku-bot) what a haiku is, they would probably say that it's a form of poetry that has 3 lines, with 5, and then 7, and then 5 syllables in them. That's certainly what I was taught in school when we did our scant poetry unit, but since... idk elementary school when I learned that, I've learned that that's actually a pretty inaccurate definition of haiku. And I think that inaccurate definition is a big part of why most people (myself included until relatively recently!) think that haiku are kind of... dumb? unimpressive? simple and boring? I mean, if you can just put any words with the right number of syllables into 3 lines, what makes it special?
Well, let me get into why the 5-7-5 understanding of haiku is wrong, and also what makes haiku so special (with examples)!
First of all, Japanese doesn't have syllables! There's a few different names for what phonetic units actually make up the language- In Japanese, they're called "On" (音), which translates to "sound", although English-language linguists often call it a "mora" (μ), which (quoting from Wikipedia here) "is a basic timing unit in the phonology of some spoken languages, equal to or shorter than a syllable." (x) "Oh" is one syllable, and also one mora, whereas "Oi" has one syllable, but two moras. "Ba" has one mora, "Baa" has two moras, etc. In English, we would say that a haiku is made up of three lines, with 5-7-5 syllables in them, 17 syllables total. In Japanese, that would be 17 sounds.
For an example of the difference, the word "haiku", in English, has 2 syllables (hai-ku), but in Japanese, はいく has 3 sounds (ha-i-ku). "Christmas" has 2 syllables, but in Japanese, "クリスマス" (ku-ri-su-ma-su) is 5 sounds! that's a while line on its own! Sometimes the syllables are the same as the sounds ("sushi" is two syllables, and すし is two sounds), but sometimes they're very different.
In addition, words in Japanese are frequently longer than their English equivalents. For example, the word "cuckoo" in Japanese is "ほととぎす" (hototogisu).
Now, I'm sure you're all very impressed at how I can use an English to Japanese dictionary (thank you, my mother is proud), but what does any of this matter? So two languages are different. How does that impact our understanding of haiku?
Well, if you think about the fact that Japanese words are frequently longer than English words, AND that Japanese counts sounds and not syllables, you can see how, "based purely on a 17-syllable counting method, a poet writing in English could easily slip in enough words for two haiku in Japanese” (quote from Grit, Grace, and Gold: Haiku Celebrating the Sports of Summer by Kit Pancoast Nagamura). If you're writing a poem using 17 English syllables, you are writing significantly more content than is in an authentic Japanese haiku.
(Also not all Japanese haiku are 17 sounds at all. It's really more of a guideline.)
Focusing on the 5-7-5 form leads to ignoring other strategies/common conventions of haiku, which personally, I think are more interesting! Two of the big ones are kigo, a season word, and kireji, a cutting word.
Kigo are words/phrases/images associated with a particular season, like snow for winter, or cherry blossoms for spring. In Japan, they actually publish reference books of kigo called saijiki, which is basically like a dictionary or almanac of kigo, describing the meaning, providing a list of related words, and some haiku that use that kigo. Using a a particular kigo both grounds the haiku in a particular time, but also alludes to other haiku that have used the same one.
Kireji is a thing that doesn't easily translate to English, but it's almost like a spoken piece of punctuation, separating the haiku into two parts/images that resonate with and add depth to each other. Some examples of kireji would be "ya", "keri", and "kana." Here's kireji in action in one of the most famous haiku:
古池や 蛙飛び込む 水の音
(Furu ike ya kawazu tobikomu mizu no oto)
(The old pond —
A frog jumps in
The sound of the water.)
You can see the kireji at the end of the first line- 古池や literally translates to "old pond ya". The "ya" doesn't have linguistic meaning, but it denotes the separation between the two focuses of the haiku. First, we are picturing a pond. It's old, mature. The water is still. And then there's a frog! It's spring and he's fresh and new to the world! He jumps into the pond and goes "splash"! Wowie! When I say "cutting word", instead of say, a knife cutting, I like to imagine a film cut. The camera shows the pond, and then it cuts to the frog who jumps in.
English doesn't really have a version of this, at least not one that's spoken, but in English language haiku, people will frequently use a dash or an ellipses to fill the same role.
Format aside, there are also some conventions of the actual content, too. They frequently focus on nature, and are generally use direct language without metaphor. They use concrete images without judgement or analysis, inviting the reader to step into their shoes and imagine how they'd feel in the situation. It's not about describing how you feel, so much as it's about describing what made you feel.
Now, let's put it all together, looking at a haiku written Yosa Buson around 1760 (translated by Harold G. Henderson)
The piercing chill I feel:
my dead wife's comb, in our bedroom,
under my heel
We've got our kigo with "the piercing chill." We read that, and we imagine it's probably winter. It's cold, and the kind of cold wind that cuts through you. There's our kireji- this translation uses a colon to differentiate our two images: the piercing chill, and the poet stepping on his dead wife's comb. There's no descriptions of what the poet is feeling, but you can imagine stepping into his shoes. You can imagine the pain he's experiencing in that moment on your own.
"But tumblr user corvidcall!" I hear you say, "All the examples you've used so far are Japanese haiku that have been translated! Are you implying that it's impossible for a good haiku to be written in English?" NO!!!!! I love English haiku! Here's a good example, which won first place in the 2000 Henderson haiku contest, sponsored by the Haiku Society of America:
When you read this one, can you imagine being in the poet's place? Do you feel the surprise as the tide comes in? Do you feel the summer-ness of the moment? Haiku are about describing things with the senses, and how you take in the world around you. In a way, it's like the poet is only setting a scene, which you inhabit and fill with meaning based on your own experiences. You and I are imagining different beaches, different waves, different people that make up the "our" it mentioned.
"Do I HAVE to include all these things when I write haiku? If I include all these things, does that mean my haiku will be good?" I mean, I don't know. What colors make up a good painting? What scenes make up a good play? It's a creative medium, and nobody can really tell you you can't experiment with form. Certainly not me! But I think it's important to know what the conventions of the form are, so you can appreciate good examples of it, and so you can know what you're actually experimenting with. And I mean... I'm not the poetry cops. But if you're not interested in engaging with the actual conventions and limitations of the form, then why are you even using that form?
I'll leave you with one more English language haiku, which is probably my favorite haiku ever. It was written by Tom Bierovic, and won first place at the 2021 Haiku Society of America Haiku Awards
a year at most . . .
we pretend to watch
the hummingbirds
Sources: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)
Further reading:
Forms in English Haiku by Keiko Imaoka
Haiku: A Whole Lot More Than 5-7-5 by Jack
How to Write a Bad Haiku by KrisL
Haiku Are Not a Joke: A Plea from a Poet Who Has Had It Up to Here by Sandra Simpson
Haiku Checklist by Katherine Raine
90% of tsukishima’s issues are honestly rooted in how bad he is with stepping outside his comfort zone. He has like this “safe zone” (aka a set of rules and regulation and regulations on how to live his life without getting hurt) and he sticks to it. He likes to play it safe and likes outcomes that are predictable.
He continued to play volleyball partially because it was familiar and safe and just a thing he did, but refused to get too attached because that was decidedly not safe. Getting too wrapped up in volleyball had proven to be harmful so he wouldn’t do it. It was a sport and that’s all it was. Tsukishima decided he’d play, he’d even play well, but he wouldn’t get too into it. It took two seasons to get him to step outside that comfort zone. And akiteru. Why has he never confronted his brother? He’s not mad now, but he was for a bit I imagine. Well, same reason tsukishima never confronts anyone about anything serious. He doesn’t know how they’ll react or how things will go and therefore it’s way outside his zone. And you’ll notice how he’s more comfortable confronting kageyama because kageyama reacts predictably. Whenever he doesn’t, tsukishima immediately backs off. Tsukishima likes safe and predictable. If he can’t rationalize a reaction in his head, he leaves it alone. So kageyama yelling and glaring? Normal. Kageyama going quiet and introspective? Woah there.
Similarly, most of his other social problems also stem from his cautious nature. Approaching others first, asking for help–way out of his comfort zone. I mean, it’s not like he actually hates everyone and he’s not rude to strangers so why does he sit in a corner in most group settings? Why does he have such a difficult time making new friends, even as a kid? He’s got a bit of a personality but baby yamaguchi, kuroo, noya, and plenty others just started talking to him and he was fine with it. So why? Well, have you ever seen tsukishima approach anyone first without looking like the most uncomfortable beanpole in the world? Any time he’s had to he’ll fiddle with his thumbs, hunch his shoulders, look down, and speak softly. He doesn’t like approaching people. People (who aren’t the duo) can approach him and he’ll usually be okay with it, but he needs to really, really need something before approaching anyone else.
Tsukishima also has a tendency to judge relatively quickly; not in the sense that he’ll judge clothes or lifestyle or anything like that. It’s more like he’s very quick to judge what a person is to him personally and how he ought to interact with them; he judges whether or not he’s comfortable with them and how he should react to them almost immediately after taking in a general overview of their personality. Like with the kageyama example earlier, tsukishima quickly delegates who’s safe to interact with and in what way. Upperclassmen are upperclassmen and there is no calling them by their first name or speaking impolitely. Third years are a definite no, show them respect. Second years are a little iffy but they’re still more seniors than friends. He’s only just now starting to loosen up around them and talk to them in the manga. We are 250 chapters in. Hinata was too loud and too passionate and tsukishima immediately decided he couldn’t handle that. It took him halfway into the tokyo arc to get more comfortable with interacting with hinata. And that’s only because hinata forced the issue. Kageyama is pushy and bossy and he’s private and doesn’t like to be ordered around so he decided to keep his distance. On the flip side, people like yamaguchi and yachi were decidedly safe and ok to talk to almost right off the bat. Oddly enough, people like bokuto, kuroo, lev, nishinoya, and tanaka were also deemed safe for interaction. It’s not like there’s always a particular rhyme or reason to who tsukishima decides to interact with, but once he establishes a rapport with someone he’s super hesitant to say or do anything outside of it.
It’s the same with his lifestyle choices. He judges what’s safest, most appropriate, and will cause the least conflictions and sticks to it. Using polite speech as a default. Studying because he’s a student. Going to every practice and participating because he signed up for this club. Even stubbornly read blocking and never just trusting his instincts because that’s not what he learned. And it’s worth mentioning that his reason for read blocking is because he’s least likely to get totally screwed using it and because it’s steady. Tsukishima likes things that are safe and predictable, remember? If he read blocks well, he’ll at least touch the ball every time. If he studies well, he’ll get good grades. Safe and predictable outcomes.
Essentially, he’s really awkward and really cautious. He has a “comfort zone” and he’s sticking to it until that is absolutely no longer a viable option. Safe and predictable. Things he knows won’t hurt him. Guarantees. That’s why karasuno was such an adjustment for him. They don’t act predictably and there’s no guarantee. Their chances of winning were almost zero, but they kept trying for it and getting so attached. And that’s why him loosening up around the rest of the team and trying out new skills that he hasn’t exactly had time to polish is such great improvement. This kid has lived his entire life in a self imposed “safety bubble” and is just starting to step out of it.
Okay, not to be overdramatic but this is one of those things that makes me feel so in awe and in love with people. OP spent their time making this?? And it's delightful?? And full of compassion and curiosity about strangers on a hellsite. Take what you need, take a breath, enjoy this shared moment of human experience. I did. 💜
