My life is a neverendign nightmare @spageddytoenail - Tumblr Blog

Having your own personal blog is honestly quite a nice change of pace compared to Reddit. I could put a funny GIF of George Bush getting hit by a shoe on here and the worse case scenario is that no one even notices.

You put that on a big subreddit and you get your eyes gouged out and a heap of political discourse underneath your post.

cyber-corp

YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE??? I’M A LIL GECKO BOY

angelsaxis

I haven't seen this version anywhere so I made one!

angelsaxis

This flag is pissing off TERFs of course but i am seeing so much colorful JOY from trans lesbians and other lesbians in the notes like I've never seen a set of tags so happy before omg

#lesbian #lesbian pride #dyke

Princess Diana is alive and she’s making asmr YouTube videos

#my conspiracy theory #princess diana

biggaybunny

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

taf-art

How to Blow Up Two Heads at Once (Ladies) (2006). Yinka Shonibare.

evayna

Violet Beauregarde should‘ve won Wonka’s chocolate factory

Have I watched the movie in the last decade or more? No. Do I have iron clad evidence to support my argument? Yes.

1. She’s the most knowledgeable about candy. She’s committed to it, and knows her stuff. When Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the room, she recognizes it immediately. She was able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the contest, so we know she has personal discipline and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course-meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum) and the neverending gobstopper (longevity).

2. She’s the most fit to run a business. Violet is competitive, determined, hard working, and willing to take risks. Her father is a small town car salesman and politician, so she could easily pick up knowledge and support from him. (Veruca’s dad is also a business man, and in a compatible market (nuts), but it’s made very clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of business practices or hard work.)

3. She’s the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that ‘always goes wrong’ on Oompa Loompas while he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to put herself on the front line, instead of treating the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would therefore be a better boss.

4. Her personality ‘flaw’ is the most fitting for the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa song, they just say ‘gum is pretty cool, but it’s not socially acceptable to chew it all day‘. The thing is, we already know that she can stop if she wants, because she already did that to win the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby (like when her mother tries to shame her about her habit during a televised interview) but the obsession with candy and neglect of social norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about. This is on brand.

5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable. Wonka shows everyone a candy he’s very proud of. Violet is like “oh sick, that’s gum, my special interest.” Wonka then pulls a “WRONG! It’s amazing gum!” In the very moments before she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just to belittle her. So when he’s like “I wouldn’t do that” why should she give a shit what he has to say? She’s not like Charlie over here who’s all “Sure Gramps, let’s stay behind while the tour leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I just saw what happened to Violet so I actually KNOW what this stuff can be capable of” Also, Violet is not selfish about her experience, she tells everyone what she’s tasting and feeling, and everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet is Prometheus: fact.

So Augustus contaminates the chocolate river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will happen to him and transports/shrinks himself deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum could potentially do to her, and caused no harm to anyone or anything but herself.

Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka’s shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is already basically Wonka. She’s passionate, sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a total firecracker. She’s even better than Wonka, because she doesn’t endanger others.

Violet should’ve been picked to inherit the chocolate factory.

gil-estel

how did your parents come up with your name

family name

baby name list (liked the meaning/sounds nice)

band/music/song

celebrity/public figure/historical figure

book/tv show/movie

made it up

portmanteau (à la renesmee)

cultural heritage/tradition

combination/other (say in the tags)

your parents told you how they chose your name?!!

Voting ended onMay 11, 2023

#literally named after a 1960s tv witch character #bewitched #Samantha bewitched

maarigolds

vampire media go brrrr

yassifiedautism

I’m surprised Renfield isn’t constantly trending here. The movie was made with Tumblrinas in mind. Nicholas Hoult as Robert Montague Renfield is a sopping wet cat, absolutely pathetic little man, hasn’t showered in 50 years, morally ambiguous, I want install a kangaroo pouch on me just just to carry him around and feed him skittles.

dunderbread

pro tip: if you're ever drawing your ocs in drag, you need to use the Queen metric to make sure you're getting it right. optimal success happens when two of your characters are obviously doing it for a joke, one is clearly in drag but still looks amazing, and one is indistinguishable from the average beautiful woman/man

dunderbread

it needs to look like this.

I have thrown up 7 times today. I am coping through memes.

#tw vomit #i feel sick #food poisoning

mrmeriwether

I love the generational gap between emoji usage. Anyone over 50 sees 🙃 and thinks "silly time! whee 🙃", whereas the rest of us immediately hear, verbatim, "they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would ne--"

mangonetics

Flying the flag upside down is a distress signal

ruffboi-mags

do gen z and really young millenials realize that the most popular screensavers of the 1990s had SOUND?

I feel like it's important that y'all know that the After Dark screensavers, which were basically the most popular not-automatically-provided-with-Mac-or-Windows screensavers around, had sound. And were a thing. DO THE GEN Z BABIES KNOW SCREENSAVERS????? I SEE SO FEW THESE DAYS

ruffboi-mags

#i thought they were still images? #i think I’ve actually misunderstood what a screensaver does

Okayokay, no judgement, but yeah you have. Or at least the original point of screensavers. Because nowadays afaik you're not at risk of getting burnt in images or dead pixels if the screen stays on one image too long.

But back in the 90s, if a CRT monitor was turned on, and had the same exact display for too long, you could literally damage the pixels and cause them to be discolored, permanently turned to one color, or burnt out so they just didn't work at all. So screensavers existed for when your computer was idle, it would have a moving image on the screen to keep your monitor from developing dead pixels or image burn (where you could faintly see the shape of whatever the screen had been displaying for so long, no matter what else was being displayed, because of the pixels being slightly discolored.)

Do not ask me how the pixels did that, I don't know, I just know they did. Also you could seriously fuck them up by putting a magnet near them.

So you'd get shit like this:

animated images that would help keep your monitor from getting image burn or developing dead pixels. And iirc the default windows ones (which all the above are) did not have sound.

But the After Dark CD-ROM that had a bunch of really fancy and amusing screensavers? Those screensavers had sound. And frankly I assume the point was to be like "hey, if you're not using your computer, just wanted to let you it's STILL ON!" because many people would probably have been like "oh shit right, I should turn that off."

Behold this treasure from my childhood:

(Next stream maybe I'll sing it for y'all)

But yeah. Screensavers were meant to explicitly NOT be a still image, because the point of screensavers was to prevent image burn and dead pixels, which you would get from a still image. Thus why they're screensavers. They were there to save your screen.

prismatic-bell

Ah, the maze. I still remember customizing that one to have like trippy kaleidoscope top, walls, AND BOTTOM. It was great.

alexseanchai

somebody in my house growing up—I'm betting my brother but I don't actually know, I'm oldest of Several and Dad got as much life out of that machine as he possibly could, that's why it was in the playroom until like 2009 to begin with, so I can't even rule out youngest sister for being too young to have done it—somebody thought it was funny to customize the maze to have sand ceiling, sand walls, and sand floor. and no map, so unless something else in the maze happened to come into view, all one could see was that fuzzy yellow-brown.

ruffboi-mags