Good Morning, Late Night

"I am not young enough to know everything." Oscar Wilde

[sparkingafire-blog]

So I have this absolutely irrational fear of the dark. I have always had this fear since childhood. I just happen to still be a 5 year old in a 19 year olds body. So when my room mate is gone it is just me at the apartment and I cater to an odd sleep schedule. I will get super tired and take a nap from 9-11 0r 12 and then stay up till sometimes 3 in the morning and sleep again till probably 9. It is just odd. So after nap number one my room mate is usually asleep. 

Now that back story is done on to the actual story. So I was alone one night because my roommate did not come home and I woke up at 2 after meaning to get up around 10. So I did the normal set of activities. Checked things, cleaned, got stuff ready for tomorrow so I could sleep till 9 the norm. But when I wanted to go smoke a cigarette at 3 in the morning it was terrifying. I am super into the supernatural mainly because I watch too much sci-fi but because of tumblr and my upbringing and shit like that. And being scared of the dark it makes it crazy scary. So sitting smoking a cigarette I find myself thinking of the things in the dark and then all of the sudden I decided that this is my home that I am sitting at my home doing this, That there are people doing the same thing all around me. People just like me. People doing this the world over. People in the light. Then I decided that since we are all so similar that there is always sunlight. 

It is just a nice take on me trying not to be scared of the dark. Obviously I still I am but I will sleep better tonight. 

[sparkingafire-blog]

Whilst sitting in my living room just chilling with my friends i happened upon the hand sanitizer I bought over the break. Upon putting the one labeled Pumpkin Caramel Latte I was over taken with the memories of my childhood. Tennessee. The long drives, getting snowed in at hotels, eating at pancake places(That is what the hand sanitizer smells like, really good maple syrup.) and just general happy memories. But my point was that before I even thought of the name of the scent those memories swam into my mind. I am a firm believer in the power of things that don't include words. For instance the power of colors to communicate and art and pictures and all forms of communications without words. It hadn't occurred to me that scents could do the same thing but the memories are strong with this hand sanitizer. 

[sparkingafire-blog]

Spongebob The Begining

So I just got my first apartment. We as of current have a tv, a bearded dragon, three couch cushions, a small Christmas tree, and a coffee table in our living room. Its pathetic but its freedom. So we obviously don't have cable and therefor we have been watching DVDs. Well my room mate found that she had the first 100 episodes of spongebob. This was great since I mean spongebob. We started the series and quickly started analyzing the show past the point it was ever meant to be analyzed. We decided that spongebob was mentally retarded but not the the point that he couldn't function just to the point that he was a bit…well like spongebob. So then we started relating things to drugs and how it was secretly sending a message about how going to work high was bad. Anyway, it was a long night. Much chocolate was consumed that night…So much. SInce then we have analyzed some of them but not often. They are super fun to analyze though. So this is the beginning on a series in which i will just ramble about how spongebob speaks about humanity and how we all relate and the world today and shit like that. 

[sparkingafire-blog]

So I have had this theory as of late that our lives could be something like what is shown in the film the matrix. When I say that I mean that we each live in our own realities and no one around us is real. It is all part of a reality created for us by those who use us in experiments about and on humanity. 

When I say 'those who' I am referring to simply those in the higher power. Those who have harnessed us for their use in experiments. I theorize that maybe these people could be other humans and we are simply living in the world they created for us for their benefit. That in the actual world technology has advanced far enough that they are experimenting on humans but we don't know that living in our reality. In actuality if my theory was correct this whole text would be for naught because I am the only one in my reality and no one else would read this because my whole reality would already know because it would become part of the collecting reality the moment I thought it. 

Going into more depth on the subject of the realities and how we all coincide but do not-    I theorize that in this world that there are multiple humans in rooms, or warehouses, or underground facilities, etc. and we are all facilitated together but we live in completely different realities apart from one another. We live apart in our minds yet live together in the flesh. (This takes me on a rambling for another time but the thought of our bodies being simply our bodies and that we are what is inside. Our skin is a costume to be hung up while we are the true person on the inside. But, I digress.) Our realities would never touch or slip into one another but we would have each our own reality. The world is created for us to facilitate what the higher power wishes to do with us. This takes me onto the point of the experimentation. We are all put into this matrix type world for a reason- we are being experimented on. Each reality is geared towards a certain experiment and different parameters are put into place to ensure an outcome to the experiment. 

Lets take a break from that because after a while it can start to sound crazy. Plus I am done explaining the back story and we are going to move onto the actual story I envisioned. But, before that, I wanted to say that I do not actual believe this. I simply thought about it one late night and it stuck. I can see where it lines up in many points to society(such as no one seeing one another anymore because maybe my real body is getting old and I can't make everything as sharp as before or maybe because it is part of the experiment or maybe many things but that is for another time.) and I just think it is an interesting idea.

Onward is the only way to go so now onto what I thought of as being the original reality. I have just started college and I have gained a life. Well things don't seem to effect me in the way that I feel that they should I could say I dunno drink- not that I would ever do that being under age, nope. No, sir. But it didn't seem to effect me as much till I had more than my tolerance should allow. That goes for many things which you could consume…*cough* and also when I have added 3 new works of art to my body in the past year. One of them covering my entire left side above my heart and rib cage. It didn't hurt. It just didn't. Hurt like a bitch to have it touched up but that was the pain I had expected when I was getting it in the first place. None of my tattoos hurt. I am actually about to go get another one. But my point is that I feel that my tolerance is higher than it should be on all levels. I can handle things very well even when not completely coherent. I theorize that it could be because in my reality the higher beings are experimenting to see how much a person can handle. And they start the experiment over and over so while I am living now and have a high tolerance for that of someone so new to this I feel that I have done this over and over and over again. That this is just once of many times I have started the process over again. And that maybe my real body is getting old or maybe I am realizing it is real but I can feel the effects of the past experiments.

As I said earlier each person that the higher beings were experimenting on would have their own reality and own experiment exclusive to their reality. They could be tested for anything but I would think that it would all have to do with understanding humanity better. Understanding how the human mind works. I feel that once we could get to the point of experimenting in that way we would be to the point that we would want to know the bigger questions. Or, at least I would hope so.

Anyway, as I said. This was just an idea for a story that developed over the span of a couple of weeks. Not saying it is true or that I believe it is true. It is pure imagination, man.