After Kaveh's death, Alhaitham didn't know why things seemed odd all of a sudden. The house he used to share with him felt a lot larger, or he could not have realized how big it was because of Kaveh's papers piling up everywhere.
The room Kaveh used to live in only stayed in the house with the door locked. He didn't want to be reminded of Kaveh. He didn't want to mourn after his death when he wasn't able to save him.
But, over the months, he found himself in front of the door with the door's key, slowly unlocking the door and sitting on his bed. Smelling into the sheets and his clothing left behind. They carried his scent, the scent of padisarahs, wine and paper. It always made him think of the memories between them: the memories they shared only crumpled one day, the day he passed away to the afterlife. Alhaitham didn't want him to, he wanted to stay with him forever. If only forever was true.
His eyes wandered around Kaveh’s room. Everything still was the same as if he was living. Scattered pencils on the desk with piles of paper underneath.
Maybe if he looked again, he would find something missing.
He would find the paint that Kaveh illustrated his masterpieces with appeared to be duller as if the colors in his world had faded into grayscale.
The red hairpins Kaveh used to wear, stuck in his blond, golden locks, weren't in his hair anymore. They were lying on the nightstand, left by their owner.
The paintings Kaveh hung around the room didn’t fascinate him anymore. He wanted them off the walls yet he couldn’t even look at them.
Maybe he wouldn't see Kaveh if he gained enough sleep every night. He wouldn’t hear his voice, his laughter. He wouldn’t see them huddled together in the sheets, enjoying each other’s warmth on his bed. He wouldn’t see him sitting at his desk, finishing his projects and starving himself to death. He wouldn’t hear Kaveh hammering away the night every time he tried to sleep.
But, every time he heard a familiar voice calling his name, he would reply with a “Yes, Kaveh?”.
He knew Kaveh was dead, but his heart couldn’t accept the fact.
So every time he got a chance, he would go to the graveyard and lay on Kaveh’s tombstone. Whispering the words he never could have said while tears dripped down his face. He had never been this emotional. He didn’t cry at his grandma’s funeral nor when he figure out his parents both died.
“I love you,” he closed his eyes.
So, things changed after his death after all.
this is my first fanfic posted so i'm sorry if it is so short and terrible :)
tangentwithtanner
baratheonpilled
titsay
amandla
germansingergirl
snowghoul
gracieabrams