♡ ♡ ♡

I'm alijah i'm 16 now and I still like cats, boys, and pretty clothes I cannot afford.

[afroxvx]

Kayla Phillips Deconstruct pt.1 // Deconstruct pt.2 Watercolor on paper 14.8cm x 21cm

[shadesofblackness]

[macdemarcoerotica]

“Mac, I don’t wanna go anywhere tonight, let’s just stay home and cuddle and watch movies?” “Im hungry though” “Well, let’s order in” Mac rummages through a nearby drawer in a desk and finds a phonebook and orders food from the weirdest place he can find, the food comes and you two settle down on the bed and begin to eat it. “Oh my god, this is gross but weirdly delicious?” You say to him smiling, as you look over to him with his mouth half full of the food you two just ordered “Yeah babe, it’s delicious as fuck” You can’t help but to laugh at that.

[macdemarcoerotica]

It’s been a long day, no month for Mac.  He’s just gotten home from playing a show in the basement of a local record store.  You think that all he wants to do is sleep for the next thousand years, as he passes out on the couch, you start to get ready to go upstairs to your bedroom but instead you hear a low groan kind of noise, almost a whimper coming from the couch, you turn around and see Mac with a cigarette in hand, arm outstretched toward you “Baaaabe, come lay with me” he says before he quickly falls asleep again, this time with you in his arms.

[macdemarcoerotica]

It’s three o'clock in the morning, and Mac has decided to go on a late night/early morning search for the best 24 hour pizza joint this town has to offer.  You two are walking through the streets, passing closed store after store, and then you find it, neon lights in all it’s glory an open restaurant that is specifically a pizza place, you start to go inside, but then you take a look and Mac looks mesmerized by the prospects of steamy hot homemade fresh pizza and stands in front of the window while his mouth salivates. 

[macdemarcoerotica]

It’s early in the morning, around 6 o'clock, before even the sun wakes up. After your night of intense love-making you were exhausted, you even thought that as you opened your eyes, you were dreaming. You opened up your eyes to see Mac concentrating heavily on something, you tried to speak but your words were slurred, due to your exhausted state. “Mac, what are you doing?” You tried to mumble. “Ah, babe that was the best fuck of my life and i tried to sleep but I couldn’t because I had to document that, get it out, this tune just came to me… heh heh get it? came, and i came a lot as in the past tense of cum because you made me cum hella hard” You roll your eyes and laugh as you roll over and fall back asleep. 

[macdemarcoerotica]

You and Mac have been hanging out at a music festival all weekend together, but it’s the last day and he wanted it to go out with a bang.  Mac set up a tent with tables and a couple of drinks, and a few board games, at first you’ve got no clue what he’s talking about until you notice the sly look in his eye.  You begin to undress and sit on the table in front of him, once he undresses and you two begin to play a game of naked Chutes and Ladders.

[macdemarcoerotica]

You’re out shopping, just getting things for the house and for dinner, paper towels, toilet paper, wine, pasta, tomatoes… that kind of thing when you hear that *ring* that specific ring you have for texts from Mac.  You pull your phone out of your jacket pocket and see you have three unread texts from him, it looks like they were all sent at about the same time… Mac was excited about something, but the messages were all vague. “Can’t wait ‘til you come home!!!!.” “You gotta see this” “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”  You laugh to yourself and finish shopping, you start to grab the paper bags and leave the store.  As soon as you get outside you see Mac against the side of the building with his arm up against the wall as if he was trying to make a sexual pose. “Hello darkness, my old friend” He whispers seductively while making constant eye contact with you. You laugh so hard you drop the bags.

[macdemarcoerotica]

“I got a room key for tonight” Mac said with an obvious nervous tone to his voice as you got into the car his car let him borrow for the night. You both were genuinely nervous, neither you hadn’t really been with anybody before.  Completely new and ready to experiment with your budding sexualities, fresh 18 year olds.  Mac’s your boyfriend and prom date, after you two arrive at the prom a little past 8:30, while you’re there everything feels magical, like there’s nothing wrong in the world and all your cares seem to melt away.  You dance closely, with your head against the space between his neck and his shoulder blade, you two sway with the sounds of the songs the DJ has selected.  After the dance is over, he leads you out behind the high school.  He’s set up a picnic on the lawn with whine, chocolate, strawberries and candles.  You can’t help but to smile at the amazing guy you chose to be yours.  After your picnic on the grass he takes you to the hotel as mentioned before, you two have awkward yet charming sex on the bed of the hotel and spend the night wrapped in each other’s arms… nine months later you’re pregnant and about to burst because Mac forgot the condoms :-( …

PSA: ALWAYS BE SAFE AND WEAR A CONDOM NO MATTER HOW MUCH THIS GUY PAID FOR THE HOTEL ROOM AND NO MATTER HOW AWESOME YOU THINK HE IS, TEEN PREGNANCY IS 100 PERCENT PREVENTABLE, DON’T HAVE SEX WITH A PERSON IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT THE RISK OF DISEASE, PREGNANCY, AND SOME OTHER BAD THING. 

thanks bless ya’ll

[macdemarcoerotica]

It was the last week of summer vacation, before it got muggy and disgusting outside.  Mac wanted to get away for the weekend, before things got hard, with school and all, so he grabbed his keys, and he just came to pick me up without saying anything beforehand, but it was him… so I left with nothing but the clothes i was wearing and my phone.  I got into the car with him, a little confused but ultimately excited… I mean this was the boy I’d shared my first everything with, first kiss, first zit, first F, first virgin-mary pregnancy scare… everything important.  I was honestly ready to take on the entire world with him if the chance was given to us.  It was extremely late at night when we got to wherever he wanted us to be, I honestly had no idea where we were but at the same time I was ultimately content in my state of blissful confusion, as long as it was with him, I remember every detail of that night, the summer air was cool and crisp and the patch of grass we were lying on was dry and soft while his arms were warm and his shirt was sweet smelling, I remember having my head against his chest with my ear to his heart, and falling asleep to the patterns of him breathing, we woke up early the next morning to watch the sunrise, and as the sun was full and beautiful, he agreed to let me snap a picture, as long as he could have a cigarette, and I told him, “as long as you let me have the first drag”, and then I lit his cigarette.

PSA: MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS STAMP OUT YOUR BUTTS, AND PICK THEM UP, DON’T LEAVE THEM IN THE FOREST FOR ANIMALS TO GET AND EAT(THEY ATTRACT CATS FOR SOME REASON) AND ALSO YOU DON’T WANT TO START A FOREST FIRE, BE CAREFUL KIDS.

[macdemarcoerotica]

“Damn” I said as I stepped inside of the large, comfortably full house.  There were people everywhere, some of whom I knew pretty well, and some I had never seen a day in my life, but I wasn’t scared or freaked out, because I had Mac by my side. It’s amazing because no matter where we go I’ll always know that we’ll still be together.  It’s honestly just easy love… He and I fit like a glove together.  I’d never really gone to parties, wasn’t the type to be invited to a lot of them, but Mac was a people person and loved by all, he had so many friends and everyone he met fell in love with him even if it was only a little bit.  But that specific party, was my first, and it was a night I won’t ever forget, as we sifted through the people, Mac and I found ourselves in a large crowd of brooding teenagers half-drunkedly playing a game of Sins, acting as if they had no cares in the world, which was partially true, the game was fun… really fun. I’d never done anything like that before, and before I knew it I was drunk, honest to goodness drunk, more drunk than I’d ever been before, and Mac noticed.  He got me away from the crowded room and walked with me to a nearby park so he wouldn’t have to drive drunk, there, while at the park, we fell asleep, with him sitting on a park bench and my head in his lap.

PSA: While at parties, always make sure that you have a designated driver if you’re planning on drinking, and NEVER EVER EVER get inside of a car with someone who has been drinking, even if you do respect, love and trust this person very much.  If they love you, they’ll value your life and theirs and will not try to drink and drive. 

thank y’all, stay blessed.

[macdemarcoerotica]

*beep*“Hey baby, I’m a little high… wondering where you are.. you should come over” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and smile at the voicemail, Peter was such a weirdo, but in a very endearing way.  He was just really into getting high and making music on his bedroom floor.  I couldn’t help being into him, he had the cutest smile, it was something you can’t not fall in love with, you know the kind the kind of smile that’s like “I might look a little weird, but I’m genuinely a sweetheart”… Okay, it doesn’t say that but it might as well.  I grabbed my keys and headed over to his place, I was happy to see him, it’s not like we don’t see each other a lot or anything it’s just nice having someone who will call you up at 3am, know you’re awake, and be alright with you coming over just to hang out with them.  It’s a really great feeling knowing that you’ve got somebody in your life who really doesn’t care if you’re a wreck, and they’ll still genuinely enjoy your company and kiss you anyway, that’s the type of thing Peter and i had going on.  Before I got into my car, I put my phone on silent and tossed it in the passenger side seat along with a granola bar and some water, I proceeded to meet up with Peter.  We had vigorous sex on his bedroom floor… You can say we made beautiful music together. It was awesome.

PSA: DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE. IT’S ALWAYS A BAD IDEA.  IF YOU’RE AWAKE AT 3AM AND YOU WANT TO GO FOR A JOY RIDE TO YOUR BOYFRIEND’S HOUSE AND YOU THINK “OH HEY” NOBODY’S ON THE ROAD, MIGHT AS WELL WHIP OUT MY CELLULAR. NO NO NOPE NAH NO TEXTING AND DRIVING IS BAD, DON’T DO IT. IT CAN CAUSE ACCIDENTS AND ENDANGER YOUR LIFE AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU.

thank ya’ll be blessed <3

[macdemarcoerotica]

“maybe she’s best in dreams… she’s still the best I’ve seen” I overhear Mac say on the phone, I assume, to Peter.  Mac and Peter are friends, but Peter actually kind of resents Mac… only because Peter thinks Mac’s a dumbass. Which is an extremely valid point, because Mac seriously is a dumbass… But a cute dumbass, a very cute one.  What can I say? He’s charmed me with his meticulous apathy, his greasy hair, and his use of slide guitar.

PSA: Be respectful of other people’s personal space, no matter how much you’re into your greasy haired teen dream of a guy.  It’s super important to mind other people and not play tongue hockey in the hallway in front of people’s lockers… 

[macdemarcoerotica]

It was around 4am on Sunday Morning and I had been drinking alone.  Mac and I were in a pretty big fight earlier, which normally doesn’t happen, we don’t normally argue, and when we do, if it’s serious it’s like the world itself has ended.  I was already pretty sad and mopey and a little too drunk for my own good, I was debating on whether or not I should just throw in the towel and forget about all of it already, so I grabbed my phone, about to tell Mac off completely, and saw that I had received a photo and a few texts.  This picture popped up with “I found your lipstick in my car on the way to the bar, I’m sorry and I miss you…oh brother… sweetheart, i’m feeling so tired, really falling apart… and it just don’t make sense to me, I really don’t know why you stick right next to me wherever I go but you’re mine.”  I  smiled instantly, ordered a pizza, and then texted Pierce asking him to give Mac a ride to my place.

PSA: Sharing lipstick probably isn’t a good idea, it cannot give you STDs but it can give you a higher risk of catching the common cold, the true blue blues-inducing illness.  Watch out.

[macdemarcoerotica]

“If I was an eloquent speaker, I’d perform a brilliant sonnet confessing my love to you.  If I was a talented artist, I’d make art expressing how I deeply feel but I am not and I cannot and I honestly hope my simple I love you can suffice.”, Mac said while he was staring over at me.  I smiled and told him that his I love you was perfect and that it was more than enough, it was beautiful and mine.  His love was sweet and real…  He loved me as a human being not as an object or an idea, he loved me throughout all of my faults and all of my mistakes.  He genuinely loved me, and I loved him.  I was filled with happiness and love because of him, and I told him that.  I told him that he was the reason for my happiness, but then I realized that it wasn’t true… there was a person who made me happy, don’t get me wrong, he made me happy, but not as much as this other person, my best friend, Aaron, who recently just came back into my life, I was in love with him three years ago and I thought those feelings had faded completely and our friendship would just be platonic… but the feelings I had buried down deep and thought died years ago came back, and I didn’t know what to do.  I was in love with him.  Things were weird for a day or so, I think Mac secretly knew there must be another one I loved, I hadn’t lost his trust and I still did love him… Mac was so good for me, he was wonderful, but Aaron is my best friend and we’ve been through so much together.  I’m in love with them both.  They both are such great people, but I have to choose Aaron.  He’s the one I choose.  “I’m sorry Mac, I still love and care about you and I hope we can still be best friends because I don’t want to lose you, I still want you in my life.”

feelin’ so confused

i don’t know what to do

afraid she might not love me anymore

although she says she does

and hasn’t lost my trust

must be another one

must be another one she loves

[macdemarcoerotica]

“hey baby i’ll come pick you up in five” he says in his sultry sexy voice on the cellular phone.  “ahh, mac! all of this spontaneity what in the heck are we doing?!”  i said excitedly.  “oh baby we’re just gonna surf” “the net” “what? shit! good one babe but no! we’re going to the beach!” “the beach?” “yeah” “cool” “okay, i’ll pick you up soon, be ready” “okay babe” “SMELL YA LATER” “bye mac…..”

he came and picked me up 5 minutes later, just like he said!! we fucked on the beach.  i got some sand in some crevices where no sand should ever be… i’m talkin about places where the sun don’t shine… long story short I got a yeast infection. 

PSA: if you’re planning on beach sex, bring a towel, or a blanket… yeast infections are real and one hundred percent preventable.  If you do become unfavored by the gods and you get an infection of the yeast, please call a doctor.  For mild to moderate symptoms and infrequent episodes of yeast infection, your doctor might recommend:  Short-course vaginal therapy. A one-time application or one-to-three-day regimen of an antifungal cream, ointment, tablet or suppository effectively clears a yeast infection in most cases. …Single-dose oral medication.  Stay safe, kids!

[macdemarcoerotica]

“oh baby i feel so down and I don’t know why”  god dammit, martha, why are you quoting the strokes at me?  mac says in an exasperated tone.  “mac, my name isn’t martha, and i do feel down” you say softly.  “why do you feel down, love?” mac says, getting slightly more serious.  “i don’t love you any more.  i’m in love with someone else, i’m sorry mac… it’s not you, it’s me.  this was inevitable, i was always meant to fall in love with him, he’s my best friend and i honestly didn’t see it coming, i’m sorry i did this to you, mac.  I hope we can still be friends”  you say.  

mac stands there looking hurt and dumbfounded, as if his entire world had just been shattered around him.