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I just use this blog as an archive now, so follow @binah-lance (fandom blog) or @spaceprincesswrites (my writing/fanfic blog) if you want to keep up with me!  

[pastel-plague-doctor]

“Just some growing pains.” 

[pastel-plague-doctor]

makeup inspired by one of my favorite paintings, “death and life” by gustav kilmt

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I made a blog post about how I did this look, if anyone is interested! 

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why i stopped buying clothes on amazon (and where i buy them instead)

read on wordpress if you prefer!

I love online shopping. I am extremely introverted, so I’m thrilled any time I can get something done without leaving my house. I buy pretty much everything, from food to books to school supplies, on Amazon.

I also really like clothes. I especially like cute, unique clothes that I know won’t look like what everyone else is wearing. I would describe my personal style as something along the lines of “vintage femme meets storybook witch,” so as you can imagine it’s rare for me to find clothes I would actually wear in my local TJ Max. Online shopping is amazing for finding that perfect piece to complete your outfit, especially if you have a more “eccentric” style. For several years now, I’ve been getting almost all of my clothes from Amazon or other online retailers (but mostly Amazon).

… And then, a few months ago, I read an article about the 2013 Savar Building Collapse. A clothing factory in Bangladesh collapsed and killed over 1,000 people, including children who were employed there. 

Keep reading

[pastel-plague-doctor]

attempting to channel the art of dante gabriel rossetti with my makeup and outfit today lol

[pastel-plague-doctor]

full offense, but if you have to say “this thing isn’t technically pedophilia” then that thing is close enough that you should definitely not be defending it

[sunfortune]

this week on buzzfeed unsolved, we’re investigating how the Fuck people find kylo better looking than Finn or Poe!!! it doesnt make sense!!!!

[vietzuko]

[pastel-plague-doctor]

some things more people should know about the norse because their culture and religion was really interesting but I feel like they get overlooked a lot???

the norse people (a.k.a. vikings) never wrote any actual religious texts, so there’s a lot of gaps in what we know about their religion and mythology. historians have tried to fill in the gaps with educated guesses, but a lot of it is still a mystery. 

while norse women had it better than a lot of women in other parts of europe at the time, norse society was still very sexist. in fact, masculine honor was their culture’s most valued personality trait, and for a man to look or act feminine was considered shameful and dishonorable.

norse women did participate in raids and battle, though! in fact, there are several legends about female warriors, and recent evidence suggests that many viking raiders were female. 

magic was considered feminine, and because of this it was shameful for a man to practice it. (men actually had a lot more restrictions on what was and wasn’t “honorable” for them to do than women did.) 

knowledge and wisdom were thought to be VERY closely tied to magic, so women were traditionally the keepers of knowledge (because It Wasn’t Manly To Know Shit). 

they practiced human sacrifice (mostly to odin).

they didn’t actually worship all of their “gods.” thor had the most devotees, and odin, freya/frigg, and frey were also popular. no one actually worshipped loki because He Was The Actual Worst. 

odin was the king of asgard but the norse actually didn’t like him much because he was associated with magic and wisdom (again, not manly). the other gods didn’t always like him either – he actually got kicked out of asgard on at least one occasion for being weird, essentially. 

loki once transformed himself into a female horse so that he (she?) could have sex with this really powerful stallion (don’t ask) and then later gave birth to a baby horse. which he gave to odin as a gift. whenever you see odin depicted riding a big grey stallion, just know that it’s his friend’s son. 

on a different occasion, loki spent several years shacked up with this lady giant and they had three children together: a giant wolf, a giant venomous snake, and a zombie child who grew up to be the queen of the underworld. 

freya/frigg was the goddess of love and fertility – but also of sex (and promiscuity), magic, war, gold, and death. she was temperamental and greedy and slept around, and she was formidable enough in battle that odin, the god of war, decided to marry her. she was not at all a “soft” goddess.

thor is the closest thing norse mythology has to a “good guy” but he’s a good guy by viking standards, which means that he’s really strong, really reckless, and really good at (and enthusiastic about) killing people. 

when christianity and christian-influenced philosophy was spreading through norse society, some people genuinely believed that it was the beginning of ragnarok. they took one look at the christian missionaries and were fully ready to believe that the world was ending.

there’s a god who was literally created from animated saliva.

did I mention the time loki had sex with a horse? 

[pastel-plague-doctor]

as much as I hate and disagree with the radfem “all men are evil/toxic” sentiment on this website, with all of the media attention that sexual assault as an issue has been getting lately I think we do need to all sit down and think about how the way our culture socializes boys (and girls!) contributes to the prevalence of rape and sexual abuse in our society:

when little boys grow up learning that men are the predators in romantic relationships and women are their prey, it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

when boys are taught that “real men go after what they want!” even if the woman initially says no, it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

when boys are taught that a girl who acts uninterested is “just playing hard to get,” it creates a culture of sexual abuse. 

when teenaged boys are told that “girls think it’s sexy when guys take control,” it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

when teenagers are exposed to a porn industry where 83% of videos depict some kind of violence against women, and “rape porn” is a popular search term, it creates a culture of sexual abuse. 

when young men and women are never taught about the importance of verbal consent and just assume that “it isn’t rape if they never say no,” it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

when drunk hookups are not only normalized, but are considered “just part of college life,” (even though someone who is drunk can’t consent) it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

when men are told that “men can’t get raped,” and/or that they’re always supposed to want sex, it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

when people who were sexually abused by someone of the same gender are ignored, talked over, and not taken seriously, it creates a culture of sexual abuse.

rapists deserve to be held accountable for their actions, and I am definitely not trying to make excuses for anyone, but we need to stop asking why so many celebrities are “suddenly” being accused of rape and start asking what we as a society are doing to enable those kinds of abuses. 

[pastel-plague-doctor]

what people think being a ravenclaw is like: top student with a 4.0 gpa; always reading classic literature; “book smart” in the traditional sense; has a strict study schedule; little bit of know-it-all

what being a ravenclaw is actually like: studying sporadically and usually at the last minute; spending so much time making a list of all the books u want to read that u forget to actually read them; forgetting to do ur homework because u were on a wikipedia binge; could write a 500 page book about ur Obscure Special Interest™ but barely passed ur last chem exam

[pastel-plague-doctor]

a concept: it’s a fall morning. the leaves are just starting to change color, and there’s a slight chill in the air. I am sitting on the front porch with my significant other, drinking coffee and reading books in comfortable silence. we’re sharing a blanket to keep warm. neither of us have anywhere to be or anything we have to do today. whenever one of us finds a line in our book that we really like, we read it aloud to the other. everything is peaceful and calm. 

[binah-lance]

yaoi is not good lgbt representation.

erotica is not good lgbt representation.

slashfic is not good lgbt representation. 

abusive pairings (canon or fanon) are not good lgbt representation. 

stop fetishizing and demonizing queer people and then trying to pass it off as if you’re somehow doing us a favor. 

[pastel-plague-doctor]

friendly reminder that being unapologetically feminine in a society that devalues femininity is an act of rebellion and that femme girls are badass and beautiful 

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another, equally friendly reminder that choosing to reject society’s ideals for feminine beauty is also an act of rebellion and that butch girls are also badass and beautiful 

[pastel-plague-doctor]

to the people reblogging this post saying things like, “but presenting as feminine just reaffirms traditional gender roles!!1!!” and “but the beauty industry is a means for the patriarchy to oppress women!!!1!” (I wish I was exaggerating but those are almost word for word quotes), y’all are missing the point so I guess I really do have to spell it out for you:

society tells women that we should be feminine, yes, but only on men’s terms. we’re told that we should be feminine, but not too feminine (”makeup/fashion isn’t a REAL hobby,” anyone?). we’re encouraged to be sexy, but not to take control of our own sexualities (see: slut shaming). we’re told we should care about how we look, but that we shouldn’t take pride in our physical appearance (or risk being written off as “vain” or “self-obsessed”). basically, the message girls grow up with is “be _____, but not too much.” 

that’s where the “unapologetic” part comes in. the moment you stop thinking about your femininity in regards to men, that’s when it becomes an act of rebellion. when you’re dressing the way you want to dress, doing the things you want to do, and exploring your interests (whatever those things mean for you, personally) because it makes you happy, regardless of what other people expect from you, you’re rebelling against society’s expectations for women. 

this is most obvious in femme lesbians (and that’s actually who I was talking about in my original post), who obviously aren’t concerned with whether men find them attractive or not, but it can also apply to bi/pan or even straight women, as long as they’re doing it for themselves. enjoying feminine things ≠ trying to appeal to men.

you’re also forgetting that not all women are socialized to be traditionally feminine. there are a lot of woc who are expected to be more masculine than their white counterparts – for them, femininity can be an act of rebellion against racial stereotypes. disabled women are stereotyped as being sexless/unattractive – for them, femininity can be an act of rebellion against ableism. trans women are often criticized for how they present, no matter how feminine/masculine they are – for some trans women, femininity can be an act of rebellion against transphobia. y’all need to realize that different women come from different backgrounds and that we don’t all experience misogyny the same way. 

also while we’re at it, “feminine” doesn’t necessarily mean “likes makeup and hair products.” there are feminine girls who don’t wear makeup, feminine girls who are generally low maintenance, feminine girls who roll out of bed every morning and throw on a sundress before heading out. “femininity” is a big umbrella with room for lots of different individual identities under it. 

honestly this new trend of hating on feminine girls and calling them stupid, brainwashed, shallow, ect. in the name of “feminism” is just the next level of “not like other girls” culture. that kind of superiority complex comes from your own internalized misogyny. girls need to stop hating on other girls and start supporting each other. 

in conclusion: there is no wrong way to be a woman, and different women find empowerment in different places. it’s not your place to police how other women express themselves. 

[binah-lance]

um hi so I've read one of your posts about how having a gay otp doesn't make you a lgbt+ supporter bc you are still homophobic but if I genuinely love m/m relationships and I know I'm not homophobic since I have lesbian friends and I don't care about them being too close to me or touching me etc. does that still mean I'm fetishising m/m relationships? I'm not in any way trying to offend you, this is just a doubt I've had for a long time :)

don’t worry, you aren’t offending me babe! the fact that you asked tells me that you’re genuinely interested in trying to improve, and that’s great! but if you’re having doubts about whether your consumption of m/m media is healthy, then I think you have your answer right there tbh.

and I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: having a gay friend or family member DOES NOT mean that you are automatically 100% Not Homophobic. homophobia can take different forms, and there’s a lot of stuff that straight people do without even realizing that it’s harmful (including sexualizing gay relationships). I’m not saying that straight people should live their lives constantly trying to avoid hurting queer people’s feelings, but I am saying that y’all need to take a closer look at the way you interact with and think about queer people before you declare yourselves allies. 

as for whether or not you’re fetishizing m/m relationships, let me ask you a question: is every single piece of m/m media you consume explicitly sexual? if the answer is yes, then yeah, you’re fetishizing gay men, and yes, that’s a form of homophobia. gay men are not sexual objects for straight women to get off on.

but if the m/m media you’re reading is actual romance, focused on growth and character development and healthy relationships, then I think you’re in the clear. it all comes down to why you “love” mlm relationships. if you “love” them because you think the idea of two men getting it on is hot, then that’s fetishization. but if you love them because you love relationships, and because you recognize that queer couples are vastly underrepresented in the media, then that’s a healthy consumption of m/m media. 

[binah-lance]

I think the people who defend fan works featuring abuse/incest/rape/ect., by crying “there’s a difference between fiction and reality!!1!! no one who reads/writes/draws those things condones them in real life!1!!” are forgetting that a huge chunk of fandom culture (especially on websites like tumblr) is made up of young teens who are using fan works as a form of escapism, and that people that age are still growing and developing, and that the themes and ideas they internalize from the media they consume will affect that development process. 

while an adult most likely has the ability to take a step back and think “hey, this relationship I’m reading about is really toxic and abusive,” a fourteen year old might not necessarily have reached that level of critical thinking yet. while an adult most likely knows enough about sex and sexual health to know when the smut they’re reading is unrealistic or is promoting unsafe sex habits, a fourteen year old who doesn’t have that same level of sexual experience is probably going to assume that sex is supposed to be like what they read in fan fic. while an adult is probably old enough and mature enough to understand why an adult/minor relationship is inherently abusive because of an imbalance of power, a fourteen year old is likely to accept said relationship as healthy or even ideal if it’s presented to them in a romanticized light. 

real life example: I was in middle school when paranormal romances were dominating the young adult literature scene. I spent most of my early teens reading series like twilight, hush hush, the mortal instruments, ect. and a common theme in all of those series was “bad boy” love interests who were literally just a collection of red flags and abusive tendencies (including multiple cases where the dreamy monster boy literally wanted to kill and/or eat his female love interest), but are highly romanticized by authors and fans anyway. before I was old enough to have any romantic experiences of my own, I was reading these books that were portraying extremely unhealthy relationships as positive, even ideal romances. and I internalized that, because I was A KID and because fiction does affect our perception of reality. this lead to me getting into some really bad relationships with some really abusive people when I was in my early-to-mid teens, because that was what the romances I’d been reading had taught me to look for. that’s what I thought was normal. it took YEARS for me to sort out the way I think about relationships and to learn to recognize red flags. 

as an adult in fandom spaces, it is your responsibility to be aware of how any content you create affects your younger followers. this isn’t to say that you can never create content that contains abusive relationships, but you need to be careful about how you’re presenting that content – even a simple note saying something like, “hey this fic is me working through some issues and I realize that the romance in here is abusive and want my readers to realize that too” can often be sufficient. (and using content tags, of course!) the problem isn’t that people are writing/drawing these things – it’s that they’re writing/drawing them in a positive light.

[binah-lance]

the exception to this is child porn, obviously. that shit is disgusting and also literally illegal. don’t create it, don’t reblog it, and report and block blogs that do support it.

[pastel-plague-doctor]

trying to get used to taking selfies with short hair lol

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

not to be a bitter asshole but the overwhelming “my gf is perfect and relationships between women are are all pure and perfect” culture on here is annoying. there are a lot of us out here being used, cheated on, dumped, abused, having communication issues and shitty breakups, and lesbian culture is not a binary of “im alone and pining after an imaginary perfect gf” or “i have a perfect gf”. it does baby lesbians and bi women a disservice. don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you if you have bad dates or weird dates or women treat you like shit or trespass your boundaries and in general don’t act like perfect magical moon princesses and your relationship isn’t a magical dream of cat ownership and cuddling. women are people too, and that means women are flawed too. there are wonderful women out there and you will find one someday to build your life with but there are a lot of assholes out there too, you’re not failing at anything if you date one of them. and you have the capability of being a shitty asshole too!

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

Boy there’s a lot of defensive creeps on this post!

[invertprivileges]

“I’m a lesbian in a perfect relationship and I would never downplay that so that other lesbians aren’t jealous that’s ridiculous“

jesus, yeah this is definitely about jealousy not lesbians and bi women in toxic or straight up abusive relationships feeling isolated and wanting to change that!

A key reason why some believe LGBTQ IPV to be rare may be due to an assumption that LGBTQ people are inherently nonviolent. This may be particularly the case for sexual minority women. In contrast to the aggression often associated with culturally prominent masculinity norms, many lesbian women are socialized to perceive relationships involving two women as a peaceful and ideal “lesbian utopia.” Unfortunately, this powerful stereotype can impede lesbian female victims’ ability to recognize that a partner’s behavior is in fact abusive rather than normal.26 For example, in reflecting on her same-gender IPV victimization back in the 1990s, Julie describes the ubiquity of the lesbian utopia ideal in the United Kingdom that prevented her from discussing the abuse with anyone: “Well it was during a period where everyone was just raving about erm how brilliant woman-to-woman relationships were and also I don’t think anyone believed that one woman could do that to another woman—there was just no, no sense of reality around that at all. There was sort of a political euphoria about lesbianism at the time; well not even lesbianism, just woman-to-woman relationships.”27 Echoing these sentiments, a victim of female same-gender IPV in the United States explains the powerful influence the lesbian utopia ideal had on her ability to recognize the abuse: “No—I thought, well, I just thought that it was fine because we were girls, like, and girls don’t hurt each other like that. So I just thought that it was the way it was supposed to be.”28

- LGBTQ Intimate Partner Violence: Lessons for Policy, Practice, and Research by Adam M. Messinger

[binah-lance]

look, I don’t care what your opinion on the us military is. I don’t care if you absolutely despise the us military and think that it is the most evil force on this planet. because we all know that this isn’t really about the military. this is about the trump administration denying rights to trans people. large-scale oppression always starts with the little things. this is the beginning of a deliberate attempt to oppress and dehumanize trans people. that’s why it’s a big deal. 

[ironicallyscrxming]

but wait wasn’t this law already in place during the Obama administration?

[binah-lance]

definitely not! military policy is actually very pro-trans right now! not only are there over 15,000 active duty transgender servicemen serving in various branches of the military right now, but in some branches (at least the army, possibly others), military insurance will actually cover 100% of the cost for gender reassignment surgeries, not to mention hormones and other medical treatments associated with transitioning! that’s why trump’s tweets are such a big deal, because it’s almost a complete 180 from current military policy.