What Hermitcraft can teach us about internalized ableism and how not to talk to people with disabilities.
[timestamp for the quote is 2:16:00 if the link doesn't work]
Skizz made this comment 3 months ago, and it was so appalling I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since.
CW: ableist attitudes and brief implications of hypothetical su*cide
Context: Skizz and Scar were having a chat about taking care of your health. Scar was giving advice like "You gotta have a good sleep schedule, a clean diet, some kind of physical activity, something to stimulate your mind, and companionship with loved ones."
Expanding on that, Scar added, "You gotta have something to stimulate your brain otherwise you end up just staring at a wall for hours at a time."
Skizz then remarked about how Scar is especially qualified to talk about this sort of thing, "Because... let's call it what it is, dude, if anyone has had a reason to, uh- stare at a wall and... I'm not trying to get dark but... 'swim down,' y'know? It's you. And that's why I've always associated you with strength because you are legitimately one of the strongest people I've ever met."
(I feel like you can visibly see how much this offends Scar.)
I'd like to take an educational approach to this post, so we can all hopefully learn from Skizz' disrespectful comment.
It's impossible for any of us to fully understand what it's like to live with Scar's numerous disabilities and complex health conditions. We will (hopefully) never know what we would do if we were in his position, but our inability to grasp that reality often leads to the conclusion that we wouldn't be able to "overcome" everything he's been through.
This is often the case when hearing the stories and experiences of people with disabilities, and it typically results in them being reduced to a source of "inspiration" for able-bodied people. In the sense of: "If they can get through all those hardships, I can get through whatever struggles I'm going through!"
This is called "inspiration p*rn" or "disability p*rn" and it's unfortunately very pervasive in our culture today, especially on social media.
[source: bezzymigrane.com]
Our struggles serve as lessons in resilience, reducing us to simplified “inspiration” for those who will never live our reality. People gawk at our hardships with solicited sympathy, saying, “I’m glad that isn’t me.”
“Stella Young described inspiration p*rn as the way society turns disabled people into motivational stories just for existing,” explains Ehab Youssef, a licensed clinical psychologist at Mentalyc. “It’s when someone says, ‘If they can do it, what’s your excuse?’ or shares a feel-good video of a disabled person doing something ‘normal’ as if that alone is extraordinary."
Scar has responded to "compliments" about being "strong" or "inspirational" before by expressing that, "A lot of people don't know know what they're fully capable of until they're in that kind of situation," and "The human spirit is a powerful thing when pushed to its limits." (paraphrasing based on quotes I remember) Which is the most polite and tactful way to dismiss ableist remarks that I've ever seen.
Some people reading this may think, "But Scar is inspirational for having such positive attitude about his disabilities! He's so optimistic despite going through so many awful things, and that's admirable!" But that's another harmful idea rooted in internalized ableism.
[source: bezzymigrane.com]
“Inspiration p*rn sometimes promotes the idea that disabled people can, and should, always have a positive attitude and outlook about their situation or communicate things in an uplifting way," adds psychotherapist and clinical consultant Steph Fowler.
...This mindset pressures disabled people to always be exceptional. “People in the disabled person’s life may not recognize inspiration p*rn as harmful, and may perpetuate these ideas by suggesting the person needs to try harder, practice gratitude, or have a better attitude about their experience,” Fowler says.
We can be inspiring and sick or disabled, but dehumanizing us by suggesting that we are somehow more worthy if we have a positive attitude that inspires nondisabled people holds us all back.
I believe Skizz' statement about Scar's "strength" is rooted in this ideology.
Which brings me back to his quote- where he implies that if anyone has had a reason to sink into depression and end their own life, it's Scar.
I cannot express how inappropriate and outright disrespectful this assertion is. Scar has mentioned once or twice before that when he initially got sick, he struggled with depression for a long time, but that's all he's said on the subject. Skizz is assuming a lot about what Scar went through (and what Scar is comfortable sharing about himself publicly) by making such a bold, careless remark like this.
Implying that anyone would "have a reason to" end their own life is beyond disrespectful in any context, but it's far worse when said to a person with disabilities... and on a live stream at that.
[source: goodmenproject.com]
People with disabilities are just like everybody else. They’re complex and sometimes flawed. They hide insecurities and struggles and inner demons that they might not want the outside world to see.
We are not perfect, angelic human beings by virtue of having a disability. Life just doesn’t work that way, and you can’t pigeonhole us as brave or permanently optimistic or whatever innocuous stereotype helps you process our disabilities better.
Scar is not strong for wanting to live despite the challenges his health and disabilities bring. Scar is not inspirational because of how much he's gone through and how he's remained optimistic throughout it all.
Scar is inspirational because he's an incredible artist, a delightful entertainer, and a wonderful human being.
He's always teaching others about his building and design methods and encouraging people to step out of their comfort zone and try new things.
Multiple hermits have said that Scar is wonderful to work with, and the only hermit they've never once had any conflict with personally or professionally.
You don't need to look to Scar's disabilities to find "inspiration," Scar is an awe-inspiring person just by nature of who he is at heart.
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I'd like to conclude with some advice on how to recognize and prevent the spread of disability p*rn, so hopefully we can come away from this post having learned something valuable.
[source: bezzymigrane.com]
“The biggest shift has to be seeing disabled people as people, not symbols of perseverance, not life lessons, just people living their lives,” says Youssef. “Instead of focusing on how someone “overcomes” their disability, we should be asking: Are we making the world accessible enough so they don’t have to overcome so much?”
...When someone calls a disabled person “inspiring,” I ask them why. I encourage them to think about whether that’s because the person is actually inspiring or if they just happen to have a disability.
Take a moment to question the content you’re being served and the things you’re sharing to limit the spread. Instead, focus on stories that celebrate the person as a whole, not just as a representation of disability.
empires season two fwhip is so important to me. the design style he chose for this empire, the location, the whole theme, the environmental storytelling, the color palette, the random lore of rock spawning goblins, gosh, its just so special. also love how as the series goes on he starts talking about how his mass industrialization is going to be severely detrimental to the future of goblinkind, big fan of environmentalism and how industry degrades the earth.
having free control over our endrocrine systems and the ability to change our genitals is currently inextricably tied to trans rights, and for good reason, but frankly i don't think it even needs to be. it should just be a matter of bodily autonomy, and that should be universal. if a cis dude wants tits and a pussy i think that would be fine. if cis women want a dick or nothing at all that should be allowed i think. people shouldn't need to be transgender to be allowed to change their bodies. free the nipple, enlarge the nipple, remove the nipple. whatever the fuck you want. i dont know if there's a term for this belief but i hold it very strongly. everybody biohack yourselves NOW
