I have exactly one (1) lifehack for every adult thing and that is âadmit your ignorance to customer service peopleâ
no, seriously! I know how nothing in adult life works, but I have learned it by calling up the customer service division of whatever agency I am having a problem with and then just asking about whatever the problem is, emphasizing my complete lack of knowledge about the thing.
my actual literal script for these interactions:Â âHi, my name is [name]. This is my problem: [problem]. I donât know how [adult thing] works. could you explain how [adult thing] works?â it fucking works every time.
me:Â I keep getting conflicting information as to whether my therapist is covered by my health insurance. I donât know anything about health insurance, so this is very confusing to me. could you explain why this might be happening?
health insurance customer service:Â itâs because your normal health insurance is X company but your mental healthcare is subcontracted out to Y company, and Y covers your therapist but X doesnât. just always bill Y when you go to your therapist and youâll be fine.
me:Â I accidentally put the wrong date to pay my credit card off and Iâm afraid it will post before I get paid. this is my first credit card so I donât know what Iâm doing. could you tell me when it will post?
customer service person:Â it will send a message to your bank today, but your bank wonât respond to it until tomorrow when you get paid, so youâre fine. and even if it does bounce, the fee is only $25 and you qualify for a waiver.
me: I went to an urgent care place that said theyâd take my health insurance, but now i have a big bill. I donât know how billing works: can you explain why the amount is so much for such a routine trip?
customer service person: itâs because you were out of network at the time. however, since your insurance hasnât covered the cost of care, the urgent care people should refund you for the cost of the services you paid for.
me:Â [gets actual check in mail for the $200 I spent on testing my pee]
I would not recommend this method for retail (for the love of god, do not tell a sleazy car dealer that you donât know how cars work), and sure, sometimes you have to speak to the manager or threaten a credit card chargeback or whatever you need to do. but 99% of the time, speaking nicely and admitting to needing help has worked wonders for me, and means I donât have to stew in terror over doing some adult thing Wrong.
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