Being A Person

Plz message to follow unless I'm following you already!!! ~~~ I'm Ellie, a real person who exists. I plan to document the fact of my existence here.I play bluegrass and read a lot about trauma and One Direction.

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I just realized this, now, at age 31: my right to feel and express pain is not predicated upon being morally superior, irreproachable, selfless, or even good.

[fkclou]

anonymously make an assumption about me and i'll confirm/deny it

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I got a tattoo about how it’s okay to eat enough food while I am exercising and getting stronger and losing weight, and I feel weird about that. But then I thought: this is to remind myself to stay healthy, that my worth is not tied to this weight loss. I might gain it all back, and more, and that would be okay.

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I did gain it all back and more, and it is okay!

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I’m doing this thing, with this bad news thing, where I have already started parceling up and packaging up and dividing up my sadness, spreading little bits of it to several people I trust, powering through it alone now sometimes in case it gets worse and I need help later, as if compassion from other people is a finite resource which I must ration to myself.

This is an old habit that got much much much worse after the revelation that my best friend thought I was a downer bitch for complaining about being raped so often. I can understand why my brain is doing this.

The thing is, I can feel myself doing it and I don’t know if I’m right. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing the correct thing or if I’m thinking unfair uncharitable thoughts about my friends or if I’m trying not to burden them or all of the above.

[oliveshark]

The writers have been sprinkling in hints throughout the season that Langdon isn't fully accepting responsibility for the harm he caused. Him getting upset and accusing Robby of punishing him when he was put in triage after not working for 10 months. Lying to Mel about "It never affected my work", despite him stealing and diluting medication necessary for patient care. The way he was told multiple times by two separate people that trying to talk to Robby would just upset him. Santos making it obvious that she doesn't want to interact with him, but he kept trying to force his way back into a teaching role. His sarcastic and condescending remarks during the teaching case. And then the half-lie he gave Al-Hashimi about "Well I was kinda an asshole to her once :(", instead of "She caught me stealing drugs and I tried to get her fired".

The writers were never going to get us the sickly sweet moment where Langdon thanks Santos for saving him from addiction.

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

That's a moment you have after months or years of sobriety, not straight out of rehab. Stuff like that doesn't get fixed in a day.

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I really thought we might have it 😭

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

What the actual fuck

[nymphoutofwater]

you’re invited to a *party* starting at 5:00pm. what time do you show up?

A little before 5:00

5:00-5:15

About 5:30

Around 6:00

6:30-7:00

Later than 7:00

Other/Bald/What’s a party?

Voting ended onSep 19, 2024

And why? Cultural norms? Personal schedule? “Cause I’m always late to everything”?

Bonus points: Region and/or ethnicity?

[nymphoutofwater]

To clarify: Assume it’s a house party hosted by someone you’re at least familiar with, but not like The Best Of Friends

[nymphoutofwater]

Tumblr, with much love, we may need to have a talk about etiquette

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

Showing up at 5 is actually Rude.

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I used to think “I can’t go back,” in despair, and now I think “I can’t go back. Thank god. Thank god. I can’t ever go back.”

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I would like to be just both fat and ok but I’m not sure yet if my brain or my fear or my family will allow it

[americachavez]

not enough people complaining about how you can only snooze tumblr live for 7 days at a time. why aren’t you haters haterating we gotta make sure this feature doesn’t last the next 72 hours let alone a whole WEEK

[americachavez]

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I do in fact hate it

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

Nobody:

Tumbl: let’s remove the search bar!

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I love the Magnus archives but I just listened to an episode that was 21 minutes long and seven of those minutes were ads and this is unacceptable

[iitsnotme-123]

Tumblr should make different colors of verified checkmark

[iitsnotme-123]

maybe even… give them as achievements…

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

10+ years should be rainbow and I deserve to have it immediately

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I gotta say, tumblr really nailed it w this one

[guildenstern]

people in the us if you haven't already ordered your 3 sets of covid rapid test kits to be sent through the mail yet, do it now because they're ending the program on September 2nd 2022

[guildenstern]

COVID Home Tests | USPS

https://special.usps.com/testkits

[guildenstern]

these are totally free btw and you can order all 3 sets of 8 tests by filling out the form 3 times in a row, it only takes a minute

[spellbertwhoishidingagain]

I’m fucken. Burndt out.