The Present Past
gist: You are part of the resistance you grew up with kylo or well in better words in love with him…before he switched over to the dark side. You are sent on a mission thats ends up being intercepted by the dark side, what happens when you get injured and kylo sees you again after some years.
You knew better than to break the rules the Resistance had given you, especially since Princess Leia had been the one who specifically provided them to you. Leia had always been like a mother figure, considering you had lost your mother at a young age. Sure, you had your father, and he loved you and spoiled you, but a mother’s role in a young girl’s life is important. There were just topics you could not speak about with your father, or moments in a growing woman’s life that a father could not fully understand, and Leia took it upon herself to take you under her wing not just to help you grow, but to train you and help you become a Jedi.
“Sweetie…” you heard Leia’s voice call out from the ship’s radio. You stayed quiet, knowing what she was going to say. You were on a mission to save hostages on a Sith base, and Leia was worried for your safety like she always was especially after what happened with her son… Ben, or rather now Kylo. After his departure, she became overprotective of you. You basically became the object of all her affection and attention.
“Leia, I’ll be fine. This isn’t my first mission… I’m always careful. You know that,” you said softly, trying to ease her nerves.
“I—… I know you are. I know how capable you are, but… Y/N, we just got intel. He might be there too.” Her voice wavered through the radio, and it made you flinch at the mention of him.
You hadn’t seen him in years.
And just like that, your mind betrayed you pulling you back to softer moments, to quiet laughs and lingering looks… to the helpless crush you had tried so hard to forget.
“Ben…” you whispered, the name slipping off your tongue before you could stop it.
On the other end, Leia let out a quiet hum soft, knowing, and heavy with everything neither of you needed to say.
“I’ll be fine, Leia. I can handle it. Right now, you need to focus on planning and overseeing the attack,” you said, trying to shake the image of Ben that refused to leave your mind.
“Y/N… I want him back.” It was the last thing Leia said before the line went dead, leaving you alone with nothing but the low hum of the ship and the distant whoosh of space outside your hull.
“Me too…” you whispered.
A faint, aching warmth spread behind your eyes. Ben had been everything to you. Growing up together does that. You remembered watching him pick up a lightsaber for the first time, clumsy at first, then stronger, faster until he was beating the other trainees while you cheered from the sidelines. You remembered the two of you causing chaos, pulling pranks on Leia, running through the ships and base like you owned them.
Those memories felt so close… and impossibly far away.
Your thoughts were cut short as the ship dropped out of hyperspace, the planet coming into view ahead of you.
The doors behind you slid open, leading into the cockpit.
“Get ready to land, Y/N. Try to find somewhere discreet to hide the ship,” Poe said as he dropped into the co-pilot’s seat, buckling in as he prepared for landing.
You nodded, your focus sharpening as the ship began its descent, the planet’s surface coming into clearer view. You maneuvered through the dense forest, weaving between towering trees until you spotted a small clearing just big enough to land.
Carefully, you brought the ship down. The moment it touched the ground, you powered down the console and unbuckled, pushing yourself out of your seat.
Just as you turned to leave, Poe reached out and grabbed your wrist.
You paused, glancing back at him.
“Look…” he said softly, his eyes searching yours with quiet understanding. “I know he’s here. But you need to remember no matter what the mission comes first.” He stepped a little closer, his voice steady but firm.
“Poe, look—” you started, but he cut you off.
“No, listen to me, Y/N… He’s not Ben anymore. Not the Ben you knew. He’s Kylo now. It’s been years.” He hesitated for a second, then added more quietly, “I’m sorry, but he might try to use what you had… that connection. To distract you. To trap us. Don’t let him.”
You swallowed hard, the tension settling heavy in your chest.
“I know…” you said softly, your gaze dropping, unable to meet his.
His expression softened. “Hey… we’re gonna get in and out. Quick and easy, okay?”
Before you could respond, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your temple, then gave your back a reassuring pat. Without another word, he turned and headed out of the cockpit, grabbing his gear as he went.
You were left standing there, alone with your thoughts and everything he had just said.
And you knew Poe was right. Your memories were just that memories. Echoes of broken promises, and a lingering, haunting feeling that you had somehow failed Ben.
You couldn’t afford to hold onto that now.
The mission came first. Poe was right.
Taking a steady breath, you pushed those thoughts aside and walked out of the cockpit toward the back of the ship, where Poe was already lowering the ramp.
You reached for your lightsaber, securing it at your waist before stepping up beside him. “Stay close. They’ve set up a small camp near the east side of the forest about three miles out. There are three hostages… a mother and her two children, all from this planet. From what we know, they’re being used for some kind of experiment something a Sith Lord ordered.” Poe glanced down at his tablet, the map glowing faintly against his face.
“Our plan is simple,” he continued, his voice steady. “We get in, grab them quietly, and get off this planet before anyone realizes they’re gone. Okay?”
“Got it,” you replied.
Together, you stepped down the ramp and into the dense forest. An hour had passed of you and Poe cautiously making your way through the forest before the sounds started to change voices, machinery, the distant clank of equipment. You both slowed immediately.
“We’re here,” you whispered.
Poe nodded once and moved ahead carefully, with you close behind him. Soon, the base camp came into view.
You both dropped into a crouch behind a thick line of bushes.
“Look over there,” you murmured, leaning slightly closer to Poe. “That open tent… where that trooper is standing. I think that’s where they’ve got them.”
You pointed subtly through the leaves.
Poe shifted to get a better look, stretching just enough to see without exposing you.
“Yeah… I see it,” he said quietly, already calculating, his mind clearly running through possible scenarios. “I’ll knock out a trooper who’s on his own. They’ve got comms built into their helmets, so I’ll use that to send him off somewhere else. Once the trooper guarding the tent moves, you slip in and get the hostages out quickly before they realize it’s a setup. Okay?” Poe explained, keeping his voice low.
“Yeah… got it. Be careful, Poe,” you said, your eyes lingering on him a little longer than you meant to, concern slipping through your tone.
He gave you a cocky little smile in return.
“Sweetheart, I’ll be fine. It’s gonna take more than a few shiny marshmallow looking troopers to take me down,” he joked.
A quiet laugh slipped out of you despite yourself.
Without another word, he stood and moved carefully toward another tree, positioning himself behind a trooper standing near the edge of the tree line just a few feet away. Poe drew his blaster and stepped in behind the trooper, pressing it close as he grabbed him from behind. Before the trooper could react, he stunned him The trooper staggered and went limp a moment later.
Poe kept a firm hold, lowering him carefully to the ground so there was no noise. Once he was sure he was unconscious, he reached up and removed the stormtrooper helmet, glancing around briefly to make sure nobody had noticed. You walked over carefully.
“Remember what I said, sweetheart quick and easy. Get them to the ship once they’re out. I’ll meet you there. Don’t worry about me,” Poe said as he started putting on the trooper’s gear.
“It’s kind of hard not to worry about you when you always come up with these… slightly stupid plans,” you joked, a smug edge to your voice.
You watched as he finished adjusting the armor and looked up at you with an unimpressed expression. That made you laugh.
“I’m kidding… kind of,” you added, still smiling as you turned away.
You moved into position, crouching behind the tent a few feet away and settling into place, waiting for his signal. You watched as he picked up the blaster and walked out from the tree line, stepping into position where the trooper had been standing before. After a few moments, he walked over to another tent where a couple of stormtroopers were standing around a table, observing God knows what. The trooper by the open tent hesitated, glancing back inside and then around at his surroundings before finally making his way over to the tent where Poe and the other stormtroopers were.
You glanced around, then moved along the edge of the tent until you reached the flaps and slipped inside.
“Hey, hey…calm down. I’m not here to hurt you. My name’s Y/N. I’m with the Resistance, and we’re here to get you to safety,” you said, crouching down to be at eye level with her.
You watched as she let out a shaky breath of relief.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes. “I’m Charlotte… these are my two boys.”
She stood, and you followed her lead, rising as she picked up one child and held the other’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Charlotte. Sorry it has to be under these circumstances, but we need to go now. We can’t risk staying here any longer,” you said quietly, moving toward the tent flaps and carefully peeking out. No one was nearby yet. You looked back, realizing you wouldn’t be able to move quickly if Charlotte had to hold one boy and carry the other. You crouched down to be eye level with the young boy Charlotte was holding onto.
“Hi there… what’s your name?” you asked softly, your voice lifting a little as you spoke to him.
He looked shy, glancing up at his mom. She gently nudged him with her hip.
“Manuel,” he said quietly, finally looking back at you.
“Manuel… is it okay if I carry you?” you asked gently. “We’re gonna have to move really fast, and it’ll be easier if I carry you while your mom holds your brother.”
The boy hesitated for a second, then nodded slowly. He let go of his mom’s hand and reached up for you, and you carefully picked him up. You adjusted him on your hip and made your way back to the tent flaps, peeking out to make sure the coast was clear. It was.
You guided Charlotte out quickly and followed close behind, keeping yourself pressed to the side of the tent before slipping back into the dense forest. From there, you kept moving, jogging in the direction of the ship.
You couldn’t help it you glanced back at the base camp.
Your thoughts drifted to Ben. To where he could be.
You knew you shouldn’t be thinking about him, not right now but something in you burned with curiosity, almost desperate, wanting to see who he had become. You’d heard the stories what he had done, the lives he had taken, the villages he had burned and wiped out like they had never existed. The corruption, the destruction he had become a part of.
You knew it was horrible.
And yet, part of you naively never wanted to believe it. You kept searching for an excuse, an explanation… anything that could ease the dull ache in your chest. After close to an hour of walking and jogging, you made it back to the ship, ushering Charlotte and the two boys up the ramp and inside. You handed them water bottles and small food packets, which they accepted hungrily as they sat down and started eating.
You walked back to the top of the ramp, peering out into the forest, waiting for Poe to arrive. You waited anxiously for about thirty minutes before you heard rustling in the trees, making you snap your head up and look out into the forest, expecting Poe to step into the clearing.
what you didn’t expect was to see a tall figure dressed in all black dark robes layered over a fitted tunic, heavy boots, and gloves, with a long cloak draped over his shoulders step out into the clearing. his lightsaber was in hand, but not ignited, and the sight of it alone made you take a small step back.
“Wtf?” you thought, trying to figure out who it could be.
“Don’t tell me Poe did another outfit change…” you added in your head, but that idea faded almost immediately.
It couldn’t be him.
This figure was taller, broader more muscular, even.
Yet even knowing it wasn’t him, you spoke anyway.
“Poe?” your voice came out uncertain, confused, as the figure stepped closer to the bottom of the ramp, looking up at you.
“This is the second time this man Poe has been mentioned to me today… and it’s never under good circumstances.”
The voice that came through the mask was deep, muffled, distorted.
It made you flinch.
There was something about it cold, mechanical that sent a chill down your spine. Realization hit you hard.
Poe.
If he wasn’t here… then…
Your chest tightened at the thought of what they could be doing to him.
“Where is he? What did you do to him?” you demanded, your voice rising with anger.
“Don’t worry,” the figure said calmly. “You’ll be reunited soon.”
He stepped further up the ramp.
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” you shot back, stepping away as he advanced, your hand instinctively going to your lightsaber.
He noticed.
A quiet tsk echoed from behind the mask.
“Don’t make this harder on yourself, Y/N.”
You froze.
Your breath caught as you stared at him.
How does he know my name?
“Put your hand down,” he said, his gaze fixed on the way your fingers hovered over your lightsaber.
You didn’t move.
You just stared back at him, your mind racing, unsure what to do.
A quiet sigh left him.
Then he raised his hand.
Instantly, a crushing force slammed into your chest. It knocked the air from your lungs, freezing your body in place. You couldn’t move couldn’t fight it as an invisible grip lifted you a few inches off the ground.
Then everything went black.
PHEW—oh my gosh… I have not written in literally a year, I think. College has been crazy, and so has life and work. Your girl can barely breathe, but I missed you guys and wanted to say I’m still alive 😭 and I’m finally getting back into writing since I’m turning this into a series!
It’s going to be an angsty slow burn, and I really hope you guys like it. Kylo Ren doesn’t really get many fanfics anymore, and we can’t let them die, so I decided I’d make a series.
I’ll hopefully be updating soon, but I also wanted to add I always love imagining the outfit I’m wearing when I read x reader fics, so I have an image in mind for the outfit I thought of while writing this. Obviously, you can choose your own since it’s an x reader fic, but for those who want to picture it, feel free to use this as inspiration 🖤