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Mourning in Vermilion

Posted this on AO3 figured might as well post it here too.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The camera turned on to an empty chair. Roy swallowed as he sat down. He took a deep breath and looked into the camera. His hair was tucked into his hat sticking out past the edges of it wildly, he had red sunglasses covering his eyes and a patchy beard that hadn't been shaved in about a week. "I'm Arsenal" He hesitated and looked down to his hands "Or... I go by Arsenal." He closed his eyes taking a deep breath slowly blowing it out "I am a superhero and an addict." He stared at his hands "So.. two things." He forced out an uncomfortable laugh then looked to the camera. "Uhhh Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman have this great idea." He let out another nervous sigh "Uh take the fuck ups like me. And you know everyone else who's having a hard time with all the mental pressure being a hero puts on you and toss them in the middle of nowhere to recover." He laughed quietly then winced a bit "Pops would say not to call myself that." He looked to the camera quietly and smiled a bit "Hey maybe it will get easier to see myself how he sees me as I stay here." He waved slightly then pulled his glasses off. He had bags under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping for a few days "Well. Uh Arsenal signing off." He smiled and winked "See you on the other side Pops. I'll definitely make you proud this time." He clicked the camera off.

The camera came on again a few days later. Roy sat down smiling at the camera, he didn't have his glasses on nor did he have the bags under his eyes. His hair was more visible not being as carefully tucked into his hat as before. He looked more lively than the previous recording. "Hey Pops!" He laughed softly and leaned back in the chair. "Uhh So I've got some friends here. Like Lagoon Boy, Hey! Wally is here too!" He smiled leaning back before he looked down frowning a bit "Uh Wally is having a hard time. He remembers his family." He sighed and rubbed his arms then looked to the camera smiling again "But. I think everything around here. I think it's really helping me." He hesitated thinking quietly "I've been going to the groups!" He hesitated again nervously looking down "I uh. Talking about my past. It was pretty hard at first. Bringing up 'H' Uh... It.." He frowned "I don't like bringing it up but... But it's been pretty helpful. Talking about it all." He rubbed his face then closed his eyes sighing gently "Pops. Having this time to think. It's been real good." He smiled and looked to the camera "I know you and Dinah are always there for me but. I dunno it's easier talking to someone who isn't my pops or his girlfriend.... Or.. Uh someone else." He raised a brow watching the camera before he laughed softly and shook his head looking down "Uh anyway. I think my time is almost up." He smiled and waved "Bye Pops. I'll see you soon." He clicked the camera off.

The camera came back at a different date. Roy sat in front of the camera looking more haggard and worn than before his hair stuck out at odd angles. His eyes had large dark rings under them. It looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks. He blinked hard and sighed softly looking at the camera "Uh. Arsenal" He raised a hand in greeting to the camera then dropped it back to his lap sighing quietly as he looked down to his lap "I.. I don't know what we are supposed to be sharing here anymore." He stared at his lap and sighed gently "I uh. I've certainly been clean since coming here." He frowned deeply staring at his hands "I also haven't felt this alone in years." He closed his eyes tightly clenching his hands closed staying silent for several minutes before he spoke in a soft voice "I.... I regret coming here. But not because I'm clean or anything." He sighed "I miss my friends. All my family." He looked up as a knock happened on the door. He frowned deeply then looked at the camera "uh.. See ya." He got up and walked off the screen.

Wally sat down watching towards the door "Hey Roy?" He held his hand out then dropped it frowning "And you're gone." He sighed softly then looked at the camera forcing a smile "You'll love this when you get your recovery journal back." He smiled leaning closer to the camera "I heard a certain ex-boy wonder has a huge crush on you." He laughed leaning back "Roy you're the best dude. and when you finally get out of here. I want you to know how proud I am of you man." He held up a thumb and grinned "Good job getting out of here!" He reached forward hesitating his face dropping for a moment before he whispered "I hope we get out of here." He clicked the video off.

The camera came back again a few days later. Roy slumped in the chair silently staring at the floor the bags under his eyes more pronounced. He slowly lifted his gaze to the camera before he spoke "Uh.. Hey... Pops?" He hesitated then frowned shaking his head "I know this computer isn't you. I know you're not actually here and probably won't actually see this." He dropped his gaze again staring at the floor "I uh... 'm still clean." He chewed his lip quietly "started getting some bad habits. Not.. Not drinking or anything like that. Just." He held his hands up to the camera "Been chewing my nails." He dropped them and sighed staring at the floor "my lip. Anything really. Just to distract myself" He looked at the camera again "I've been hearing things, I don't know if it's my imagination or not." He hesitated then looked down "I really want to make you proud so.. I haven't mentioned them to anyone. The noises I mean." He slumped over and sighed quietly "I need to make you proud. I have to do this. I have to make it through this... This... This" He waved his hands towards the door in frustration then dropped them to his lap sighing as he stared at the ground "Program? That doesn't sound right." He shook his head then looked to the camera forcing a sad smile "See ya soon pops. hopefully you'll be proud." He looked back to the ground "I'm going to do better pops... I am going to make you proud." He closed his eyes again then inhaled slowly, before he blew it out quietly. He looked to the camera and smiled again "I love you pops." He reached forward clicking the camera off.

The camera came back on a different date Roy looked much worse than before. His lip was split and he was looking increasingly paranoid. He stared at the door then spoke only glancing to the camera momentarily "Something is happening." He rubbed his mouth then looked at the door again keeping his voice in a whisper "Lagoon boy." He dropped his face into his hands his shoulders shook as he let out an almost silent broken sob "He... He was" He slowly curled in on himself then froze looking towards the door quickly staying silent as he moved himself away from the door. He whispered "They are dying. Everyone around us. Everyone here is dying. There's messages on the walls... The puddlers are all dead" He glanced to his hands then back to the door "I don't know who is killing us." He looked to the camera and whispered "Jaybird. I don't think I'm gonna make it out of here. I just... If this gets out of here. I want you to know." He froze looking at the door as it flung open "What the-" He was cut off by the camera going dark

Bruce sighed rewinding the footage of all of Roy's sessions hunting for clues. He ignored the footsteps behind him "I am looking for it."

Oliver stared at the screen "He looks so terrible towards the end." He put a hand on the screen staring at Roy quietly "Bruce... What could I have done differently to prevent him from going... Going there." He motioned at the screen then slowly looked to Bruce "What could I have done to save him."

Bruce frowned "Nothing you can change." He frowned "I can't access the A.I"

Oliver looked back to the screen staring at Roy "I should have known something was going on." He deflated then turned to Bruce "You should have told their families!"

Bruce looked to him silently

Oliver looked back to the screen "you should have told us. Dinah is a therapist. She should have been one of your first calls!"

Bruce sighed "I know that Oliver."

Oliver stared at the screen "Send these to me. Send me my son's logs." He turned and walked off pausing "We are having a funeral for him.." He looked to Bruce "Would be good if you and the boys would show up."

Bruce frowned "I will let them all know." He sighed "Jason will probably show up before the rest of us."

Oliver closed his eyes "He... He deserves to be remembered for what he accomplished as a hero. Not his past issues with drugs." He opened his eyes then continued walking out

Bruce nodded "I agree." He sighed going back through his clues before he got up and followed Oliver out.

~

A few hours later Bruce was walking into Vivi's diner after knocking a guy out with his own two fingers. He watched Jason for a moment "Jason."

Jason stared at him in surprise then stumbled back to the counter leaning against it "If you're here to fight. I need a sec"

Bruce shook his head "I'm not here to fight." He put his hand on Jason's shoulder and motioned to the stools "Sit"

Jason raised a brow but sat anyway keeping his eyes warily on Bruce

Bruce slid a cup of coffee to him slowly and sat next to him "Drink." He grabbed his own cup and looked at the counter

Jason sipped his coffee then frowned looking at Bruce "You don't think this is a little strange?" He turned to Bruce more "If this is about taking me back to Gotham. It's not going to happen. Shooting penguin wasn't a crime it was a public service."

Bruce held up a hand and shook his head "You're never coming back to Gotham. Not even to Arkham."

Jason deflated some and looked into his cup swirling the coffee with small movements of his wrist "Oh... Okay."

Bruce watched him frowning quietly "Cobblepot didn't die yet. So technically you didn't break our deal. But it wasn't for lack of trying."

Jason looked away from him scowling quietly "No, not for lack of trying." He sipped his coffee quietly then turned back to Bruce "So why Are you here Bruce?" He frowned "Why now?"

Bruce remained quiet as Jason's eyes remained on him expectantly. He sipped his coffee then set the cup down and put a hand on Jason's shoulder turning to fully face him "Roy Harper is dead." He hesitated for a brief moment "I'm sorry Jason."

Jason dropped his head in his hands and closed his eyes "I just... Last week" He went quiet for a few minutes "He..." He looked to Bruce through the corners of his eyes "How?"

Bruce frowned "It was in a place called Sanctuary."

Jason nodded slowly "Yeah 'Rehab for Capes' he said." He frowned quietly at his cup on the counter

Bruce sighed gently watching him "We don't know who, or why. But a lot of people were killed there." He paused quietly "Trust me when I say I won't rest until we find the person responsible."

Jason slowly dropped his hands to cradle his cup the warmth of the coffee seeping into his palms "That's a lot of people who will be out looking for revenge. No one needs me in the mix."

Bruce nodded in understanding keeping his eyes on his son "I.... Agree." He turned to the counter thinking quietly on what he should do to comfort his son. Words so often came from Alfred in times like this.... He turned back to Jason putting a hand on his shoulder again. "Alfred says it's important you let your feelings out."

Jason made an incredulous sound in the back of his throat as he looked to Bruce "Seriously? Grief counseling.. From the guy who dresses up as a bat?" He shook his head and watched him "Death isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person Bruce" He glanced back to his coffee "I know... Trust me." He sighed gently "You died. Damian died." He shrugged lightly staring into his mug again before he looked back to Bruce "Death is a revolving door in our business." He held up one hand "Am I going to miss him? Absolutely." He winced a bit then frowned "But everyone who has ever put on a mask is living on borrowed time. He'd be pissed if I spent the life I have left moping over him."

Bruce's frown deepened as he squeezed Jason's shoulder and stood up. He pulled his wallet out paying for both the damages from Jason's fight and their respective cups of coffee, before he turned and walked out through the gaping hole where once there were glass double doors. He stopped near his car and looked to him "Can I drop you somewhere?"

Jason slung his bag up his shoulder more and shook his head following him "No.. I'm fine." He tipped his head back letting the rain wash over his face "I need some fresh air." He paused as the car chirped. He dropped his bag and looked at Bruce "Bruce?"

Bruce look to him quickly

Jason closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly pressing his cheek to Bruce's shoulder "Thank you... For telling me yourself. I know... I know that wasn't easy for you." He frowned "Hating me and all."

Bruce looked at him in shock and held him out at arms length "Jason. I've never hated you. Not once. Not for a moment." He smiled sadly "Do I think you can be an insolent bonehead? A lot of times. Do I think you need an occasional kick in the ass? I don't deny it. But at the end of the day I've got your six. And I know you have mine." He pulled him back into a tight hug "You're my son Jason. I could never hate you."

Jason stared at the rain falling then closed his eyes leaning into the hug as he wrapped his arms around Bruce's shoulders. He slowly stepped back and watched him for a few moments more before he picked his bag up slinging it over his shoulder again. He gave him once last nod before he walked off down the street

Bruce watched him in the rearview mirror of his car as he drove off quietly before he focused on the road ahead of him.

~

Oliver stared at the gravestone silently hugging Dinah tighter to his side as he listened to Bird.

Bird stood next to Roy's coffin with his head bowed holding Roy's first bow. "In our culture, there are legends told of a raven who flies free with his fellow birds. The raven is smart and resourceful, but also full of mischief. The raven may seem to only care about himself and his own needs, but his actions usually benefit his tribe."

Bird hesitated before continuing "Roy Harper was part of our tribe... Our family." He paused for a moment "After my father Big Bow, rescued him from a forest fire.." He frowned "I stand here today, grateful that Roy honored our tribe by discovering who killed out father. Grateful we parted not as enemies, but as brothers." He hesitated as a few tears slipped past his eyes before he quickly blinked them away and spoke again "I know I'm not the only one who loved Roy, and I look forward to hearing Your stories celebrating Roy's memory, even as we mourn his loss and deliver him back to mother Earth."

Bird stayed quiet for a few moments letting the grief wash over him and everyone at the funeral out of respect for Roy. He offered up a small prayer that Roy's spirit would find peace wherever it roamed. He took a moment after opening his eyes to speak "It is Spokane tribal tradition to leave personal items to help Roy's spirit on it's journey... I'm giving Roy back his first bow." He stepped closer putting the bow on the coffin letting his hand rest as he spoke again "May it help you in the afterlife brother." He slowly pulled his hand away and stepped back from the coffin.

Diana stepped forward and held her hand out "Bird, you honor Roy today. My thoughts are with you and your tribe."

Bird held her wrist letting her grab his in return "Thank you, Ms. Prince." He let her go and stepped away from her

Diana hesitated and spoke again "I'm sorry to say I wasn't as close to Roy as some of you, but he took steps to make things better for himself, which tells me all I need to know. It's clear to me that Roy was a Fighter. Resilient." She looked to Oliver and Dinah in sympathy "He had the strength to ask for help which is the hardest battle anyone can face."

Oliver slowly lifted his eyes meeting Diana's before he turned and walked towards Clark. He glared at him

Dinah looked up "Ollie? Where are you going?"

Oliver interrupted the conversation Clark was having with Diana "What'd ya do Clark? Forget we're all Human?! This is your fault."

Clark looked to him frowning in sympathy "Ollie, I'm sorry. I know how much Roy meant to you."

Oliver's fist connected to Clark's jaw knocking his glasses off in the process "Roy's dead because of you, you Son of a-!"

Diana gasped in shock "Oliver!"

Clark bowed his head putting his glasses back on properly "I'm sorry."

Oliver glared at him "Oh, you're gonna be sorry alright. I'll make you pay even if I break every bone in my body." He pulled his fist back

Diana stepped between them both quickly "Oliver. Enough! I know you're in pain, but we're all friends here. Friends who are grieving too."

Oliver glared at her dropping his hand but snarling his words out in a low rough and angry tone. "Friends don't let friends get Murderd. And speaking of friends, where's Bruce Wayne?"

Clark frowned "Bruce wanted to come, but he's out there looking for Roy's killer."

Diana nodded slowly frowning at him "That's why he's not here." She slowly wrapped one arm around him putting a hand on the shoulder closest to her "Ollie, this isn't the time."

Oliver slumped deflating as he looked down guilt and pain rushing to fill whatever void his anger had left "You... You're right Diana." He stared at the ground with glossy eyes "This isn't the time for a Funeral when we should All be out there looking for Roy's Killer!" He looked to Hal and grabbed the front of his suit pulling him closer "Hal, You're a Green Lantern! Create something out of that ring to bring Roy back."

Hal frowned deeply putting his hands on Oliver's shoulders squeezing lightly "Ollie, I can't construct something to bring back the dead or turn back time. I'm sorry... You know if I could.." He trailed off the 'I would' going unsaid.

Oliver shoved his hands off then spoke with words dripping with malice and anger "The Justice League, what a Joke." He paused huffing out a forced laugh "You're all so high-and-mighty... Where's Roy's Justice!?" He glared at them "Guess he didn't rank high enough for a membership card to your protection, huh? You think Nothing can hurt you. But you have No Idea what I could do to you."

J'onn frowned floating closer to Oliver speaking in his mind "Don't."

Oliver snapped his attention to J'onn then lunged for him only for the Martian to float out of reach "Get out of my Damn Head, J'onn!"

J'onn frowned "Oliver, you're upset. You're not thinking clearly."

Oliver glared at him then pointed incredulously at him "Oh, I'm clear as crystal. You said if the Justice League ever stepped out of bounds, I should use the box to Stop them!" He glared at him swinging again "I'd call killing Roy 'Out of bounds'!"

J'onn sighed watching him remaining just out of his reach "They tried to help Roy, at sanctuary. They didn't kill him."

Oliver snarled at him "They're still responsible!"

J'onn frowned deeply "Roy died surrounded by friends. People who Loved him." He used his powers to bring forth a bright light.

Oliver covered his eyes shying back from him "I Loved him. I was his friend. All my money. Green Arrow. My life." He slowly covered his face as tears broke past the dam of his emotions "I'd give it all away to bring Roy back."

J'onn nodded and landed next to him re-disguising himself "I know you would, Oliver." He put a hand on Oliver's shoulder squeezing reassuringly "But for now, the only thing you can do for Roy is let these people grieve in peace and say good-bye to their friend." He frowned "I suggest you do the same." He turned and hesitated "Donna Troy will now say a few words." He walked down the path away from the funeral.

Oliver stared at the ground then walked to the edge of the cliff looking out over the valley. He slowly sat down thinking about his past with Roy. How they met because Roy picked his pocket. or how he helped Roy practice with his bow, how he and Roy fought.

"Roy was really something else, wasn't he?"

Oliver blinked hard and looked to the woman who was now next to him "huh?"

She smiled sadly "Sorry. Hi I'm Annie."

Oliver stared at her silently for a couple seconds then looked out over the canyon again "Oliver."

She tilted her head a bit "Did you know Roy before or during his recovery?"

Oliver frowned "Both... I guess?"

She smiled slightly "lucky. You saw what it took for him to start and what it took for him to quit."

Oliver scoffed softly bitterly replying "Yeah. Lucky me." He sighed heavily closing his eyes for a moment to collect himself. J'onn was right. These people were here to mourn their friend. It wasn't only Ollie that lost someone. "How did you know Roy? Are you..?" He hesitated trailing off unsure of how to ask his question in a sensitive way.

She laughed sadly "an addict? Yeah, but Sober, thanks to Roy. He convinced me to get help. He understood... You know? What it was like. Roy never judged me or used a trick to get me sober. He just... Listened." She smiled slightly looking to him "Don't get me wrong. He could be So Stubborn."

Oliver stood up and chuckled lowly "Tell me about it. I bet he's probably up there laughing his butt off at how far we had to drive to get out here. And how high we had to climb to get to this random place."

She shook her head "This isn't a random place." She looked up to him "This is the exact spot Roy decided to get sober. Watching the sunset reminded him of a Confucius saying. 'When an archer misses the center of his target, he turns around and seeks the cause of his failure in himself.' He realized he had 'work to do' and went straight to rehab." She frowned "He thought he was a failure but he saved my life." She smiled standing up slowly "If you ask me he was practically a superhero."

Oliver looked to her frowning quietly "Yeah... He really was.."

She turned away quietly "Guess it's time to say good-bye."

Oliver looked down over the edge "Guess so."

She walked away from him passing Dinah quietly

Oliver spoke softly "He's not coming back Dinah." He could feel her nodding beside him. He turned and hugged her dropping his face to her shoulder to hide his tears "Roy's Gone and there's Nothing I can do about it"

Dinah hugged him tightly rubbing his back "I'll miss him too. But today isn't about you or me. It's about remembering the Good times we had with Roy."

Oliver sniffled quietly "So why am I stuck on only remembering the bad."

Dinah frowned "oh Ollie." She kissed his forehead softly cupping his cheek

Oliver hesitated then walked to the coffin thinking back on his memories with Roy. How he should have handled things differently. How he should have handled his disappointment in himself differently. How he should have stepped up to be the father Roy needed him to be instead of a friend that let him down time and time again. He sighed softly and stood in front of the coffin staring down at it before he spoke "I'm sorry I wasn't the man you needed me to be, and I'm sorry I didn't see it until now..... You were a better man than I." He bowed his head letting his tears fall freely "But I love you, son." He reached up and swiped a few tears away so he could see clearly. He remained until long after everyone else had left. Just staring at the picture they used for Roy's memorial. He put the first arrow Roy had fired with him on the coffin then whispered "Good-Bye Roy." He hesitated then turned and walked away with his eyes on the ground.

Jason passed him pausing long enough to watch him before he spoke "Ollie"

Oliver paused and looked back to him over his shoulder. He refused to turn to face Jason fully "Why weren't you there."

Jason tensed up watching him "I went there before. I talked to the camera." He looked down shaking his head "Roy was the one who made me go." He slowly slid his hand up his own arm uncomfortably. He closed his eyes "I... I just." He trailed off as he tried to gather his emotions enough to put his thoughts into words. "It wasn't that long ago.. A week maybe?" He shook his head and slowly looked to Oliver "He was fine... He was fine. He said he was going to therapy and rehab and it was doing good." He frowned looking down "He also mentioned hearing things and I..." He stared at the ground "Oh god I could have saved him." He slowly stumbled back against a tree nearby as the realization hit him.

Oliver froze up.. Here was someone actively giving him what he wanted. Someone to blame for Roy's death. Someone he could put a face to.... And all he wanted to do was make sure he didn't do that. He crossed the distance and put his hand on Jason's shoulder "You couldn't have stopped him from going back."

Jason stared at the ground "I could have done something... Anything." He looked at Oliver "Ollie. I basically killed him." He dropped his gaze "I thought... I thought I was Okay with it all. I knew I would Miss him..." He stared at the ground "I just... Oh god I should have done more. I should have kept him around or.." He closed his eyes inhaling a shaky deep breath as if the added oxygen would help him calm his nerves. He slowly leaned into Oliver's chest before he spoke weakly "I could have gone with him like he asked. He said I needed to talk more about my feelings I should have done that. I should have gone with him... I should have been with him." He shook slightly as a silent sob broke his calm demeanor "I should have..." He hugged Oliver letting his tears fall to his shoulder.

Oliver hugged him tightly looking back to the grave... He felt like he should be sharing his thoughts. Maybe they would help Jason.

Oliver chewed his lip for a moment then looked down to Jason's head "Donna said something today about helping her with her life while he was fighting his own demons and triggers." He hesitated "I know she meant me. I don't know... HOW I could be a Trigger, I was the one who helped him off the streets... Trained him... And then he left.. He was..." He hesitated unsure of his words "Ungrateful... So headstrong." He shook his head at Jason's glare "I.. That's not the right word I know... Let me explain more." He let go of Jason and walked closer to the grave.

Jason followed him scrubbing his eyes dry. He watched him warily.

Oliver sighed sitting next to the headstone "I remember when Hal and I were looking for Roy, all over town. I was scared out of my mind that someone had hurt him... I was.. It never dawned on me that he could be hurting himself... I lashed out at the poor kid, but I was so Scared so... So disappointed..."

Jason frowned and opened his mouth to speak but Oliver cut him off by continuing.

"Truth is I wasn't disappointed in Roy, I was disappointed in Myself." Oliver frowned continuing "Roy didn't Need a mentor. He needed a Father. I Acted like his father, but... I wasn't one. I was his Boss... His disciplinarian... I Thought I knew best... But I didn't know what was best for him.... And now I've got to Live with that." He put a hand on the gravestone "And now it.. It's my turn to say good-bye and I don't even know who to say good-bye too." He looked to Jason's feet "Speedy? Red Arrow? Arsenal?" He motioned to the coffin "Annie left Roy's first sober coin. I heard him recite that serenity prayer so many times, I got it memorized." He chuckled sadly then looked to his feet quietly "God grand me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference."

Jason slowly moved closer and pulled a ring on a chain out of his pocket slowly putting it on the coffin

Oliver looked up watching him before he looked back down continuing "I spent my life finding the fault in Roy and never turned around to seek the cause of My failure in myself. I am Not going to disappoint him again." He slowly pushed himself to his feet and dusted himself off looking down as his tears started to fall again before he started walking "I've got work to do." He sniffed quietly.

Jason watched him then followed him quickly "I left him a voice mail... It was... It was mostly to hear his voice one more time." He sighed walking with Oliver as he spoke softly "I told him I heard about his death.." He smiled slightly "That this is exactly why I will never try to get my head together." He chuckled sadly "I told him he may have been a mediocre archer and a half-assed superhero." He frowned slightly "But he was the best friend I ever had." He slowed to a stop with Oliver as he spoke again tears threatening to fall "I said next time I saw him I was going to kick his butt for this dying crap." he chuckled sadly again and rubbed his eyes "This is my thing." He sniffed quietly and rubbed his nose "I... I almost deleted his contact. Had my hand over the button to delete it for a good thirty minutes to an hour." He sighed and shook his head "I couldn't... I couldn't bring my self to do it. I couldn't just get rid of that last tie to him that I had." He closed his eyes "All our jokes with each other. All the things that have gone unsaid. I don't know how I will ever bond with anyone like that again."

Oliver looked to him then put a hand on his shoulder again squeezing reassuringly "Roy didn't blame you for anything. He.." He hesitated "I probably shouldn't say anything." He walked to his car and opened the trunk pulling his glove out and putting it on. He closed the trunk and brought up the hologram screen as he walked to Jason. "I asked Bruce to send me the files." He held his hand out "Give me your phone and I'll transfer them.. I think you should watch them."

Jason hesitated before he held his phone out and watched Oliver transfer a set of files. "What are they?"

Oliver stared at the thumbnail of Roy "It's Roy. It's his therapy logs. Him talking to the camera... It was supposed to be deleted when they were done with them. That's what Bruce keeps telling us.. Someone bypassed things and got all the recordings... Sent them to Lois." He stared at the thumbnail "It's all I have left of him." He looked to Jason "I think he would want you to have them as well."

Jason stared at him "Roy thought of you as his dad... I think you should know that." He looked down "He mentioned it a few times in passing." He sighed "He called you Ollie. but... But it's like how I call Bruce.. Bruce, or B."

Oliver held his phone out to him and spoke softly "Thank you, Jason... I... I needed to hear that."

Jason took his phone back and looked at the files quietly "I am going to sit up there at the grave for a little while longer." He looked to Oliver "I'll see you around Ollie." He smiled slightly "Good to know I'm not the only one loosing my mind over not being able to see him."

Oliver looked at his car chuckling sadly "I have to do better for him." He looked to Jason "He deserves that." He walked to his car and got in "Stay safe Jason. If you're ever in Seattle, you should stop by and hang out in the quiver." He watched him pulling his glove off "Keep in touch."

Jason nodded once and turned walking back up the path "I will" He lowered his head as he walked to the gravesite again. He sat down next to the headstone leaning back against it "You're an idiot. I brought a ring. I was planning on giving it to you when you came out with me again. Now.. Now I'm on my own? I think?" He sighed softly and closed his eyes leaning his head back "Honestly Roy, you could have chosen a different thing. You know.. The whole being dead thing was my deal. How am I supposed to be cool and edgy now?" He smiled slightly then opened his eyes "It feels wrong to be joking without you here." He pulled his phone out and put his headphones in "Hope you don't mind me intruding on your whole little therapy sessions." He clicked on the first video and smiled warmly as he watched Roy speak, before he paused it. "You forgot dumbass, there three things." He chuckled lightly "Dumbass, Hero, Addict... My best friend." He swallowed quietly staring at Roy's face on the video. He slumped down some staring at the video "I Loved you." He shook his head once then clicked play smiling as he watched the video to completion.

Jason started the next video smiling warmly as he watched. He hesitated pausing it again "You.. You looked so good Roy." He tilted his head slightly and took a screencap of an unfiltered smile sending it off to Damian with the simple message 'Draw me Roy smiling more... You know for my birthday or whatever?' He went back to the video and clicked play again watching through it. "Who.. Who is the someone else." He frowned did Roy have someone in his life already.. What was he thinking of course Roy would have someone he was Amazing.

Jason shook his head firmly and sighed looking back to his phone to watch the next video. He immediately frowned "this looks more like what you looked like normally." He frowned watching the video tilting his head slightly. He pressed his back against the headstone and muttered softly as the Roy on screen walked out of the room "fucking idiot. You should have come home if you missed us. You should have stayed with me if you missed us." He frowned deeper but watched Wally on the screen before he tilted his head a bit. He raised a brow then sighed clicking play on the next video.

Jason watched it quietly listening to Roy speak through the whole video. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and frowned "You acted like you weren't sure about what the sounds could be Roy.. Why did you act like it was just your imagination..." He frowned "I like to think I would have come with you if you had told me you were actually worried about these sounds." He looked to the sky quietly as the hues of blue gradually became darker. He slowly closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

Jason stayed like that for a few minutes just listening to the silence before he opened his eyes and looked back to his phone pressing play on the last video. He froze up immediately staring at Roy. "God what happened to you." He frowned watching the video freezing up again when Roy said his name. Roy's voice rung through his ears, but it wasn't the video saying these things 'Jaybird, I did some diagnostics on your helmet. You should be able to use thermal now!', 'Jay! you have to be more careful! What if I couldn't patch you up this time?!', 'Jason? Are you awake?.. Flying through space is kinda boring huh?' Roy's laughter then a continuing of words 'Kori is sleeping, and I wanted to talk to you anyway.', 'You're my best friend Jaybird.', 'Hey Jaybird! Heard you were back and causing havoc with your pops and fam. What am I just second fiddle to Bruce now?' HIS LAUGHTER.

Jason stared at the screen long after it had gone dark just remembering Roy. He swallowed hard then spoke softly "I loved you and you loved me, and we were both such oblivious idiots that we couldn't see that." He flinched as 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks rang out from his phone lighting up with a picture of Dick. He hesitated answering it "what do you want?"

Dick frowned "You missed the fireworks. Where Were you Jason?! Why didn't you show up to the funeral!? Even Jade was there! He was your Boyfriend! You'd think you would at the very Least show up!"

Jason frowned "I didn't want to run into B. I told him I shouldn't be involved. So I came after everyone left. I'm here right now." He paused as the rest of Dick's words caught up to him "We weren't dating!?"

Dick scoffed and turned his car around "Oh please. I'm your big brother Jason. You don't have to lie to me. I know you and him had those dumb ass lunch dates all the time." He smiled "It was cute. You and him made Timmy jealous all the time you know." He sighed gently "I think your relationship going so well made him a little frustrated at his own relationship."

Jason tilted his head staring into the woods "I'm Serious.." He paused quietly then looked to the headstone "Roy and I weren't dating. Neither of us could ever work up the courage to confess." He shook his head looking back into the woods "I think after his messy breakup with Jade he was just all hesitant to put a name to things like that and well... I was Raised by Bruce. I can't put a name to that shit."

Dick parked his car and got out walking up the path as he hung up on Jason. He frowned at his little brother "You shouldn't grieve alone." He sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder "If you keep doing this we might need to give you B's title of most broody."

Jason laughed softly and leaned towards him rolling his eyes "I wouldn't want to take that title. He worked so hard for it after all" He stared at the woods "Were we really dating?"

Dick looked at him "Everyone thought you were... I mean I thought you were engaged because you both lived together. Roy's name was also on Everything you owned. I tried to look at your property title on your house in Bludhaven because I was wondering when you got it for one but also if it would be easy to...." He hesitated trailing off before he cleared his throat "anyway That's how I found out Roy was co-signing everything with you." He looked to the woods. "That and Roy didn't Hide his feelings for shit." He laughed softly "He openly flirted with you and you would always flirt back. I thought it was so cute!"

Jason blushed lightly and rolled his eyes "We did Not flirt."

Dick looked to him "Jason, the man would ask if you needed help constantly. He would go out of his way to help you.. Just like you would go out of your way to help him. You both did it so regularly that no one really thought anything of it after a while." He looked forward "You both called each other hot too."

Jason scoffed "That's just something you call your friends."

Dick looked at him "Jason... Is Kyle hot?"

Jason frowned "No." He rolled his eyes watching the woods.

Dick nodded "Right, how about Gar, Conner, Hal?"

Jason shook his head again "Also no, no, and no."

Dick watched him "But they are your Friends right?"

Jason nodded slowly "Yes? What's your point here Dickhead."

Dick smiled "You mean to tell me you were flirting without meaning to." He laughed softly looking forward "You and him were just dating without knowing you were dating oh my gosh."

Jason paused then laughed softly leaning his head back "So you think he knew how I felt?"

Dick looked to him "I think he knew how much you cared about him, yeah."

Jason stared at the woods feeling like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. Roy probably knew how much Jason cared, that was the important thing to him. Roy knew. He looked to Dick for a long moment "I have a case I need to deal with." He looked forward again "Thanks Dick. I am.. I am glad we talked about this." He smiled relaxing for the first time since he had heard about Roy's death.

Dick smiled and squeezed him to his side more "You're my little brother. I don't think I should let you go through loosing your boyfriend on your own." He looked forward "I also have cases to deal with in Bludhaven.. Both in and out of costume." He smiled warmly "Roy was an idiot but he was your idiot and everyone knew it." He slowly got up and held his hand out "so let's let B find the killer and we can make Roy proud by living our best life." He watched his younger brother with a smile.

Jason stared at his hand for a long moment then grabbed it and pulled himself up nodding slightly "You're right. Roy would rather we go out living our lives than staying stuck in the past." He smiled shaking his head "I said something like that to Bruce earlier." He looked to the headstone again then walked down the path "Hey do you mind dropping me somewhere on your way to Bludhaven?"

Dick shook his head following him "Not at all! Where do you need to be dropped?"

Jason picked his bag up as he passed it and walked to Dick's car "Place called Appleton." He looked to Dick curiously.

Dick shrugged and got in unlocking the other door before he put his seatbelt on "Sure thing. Hop on in and we can get on our way."

Jason opened the door looking towards the path once more. He sighed gently the future looked rather dull without Roy in it but he would survive. He was always good at surviving. He slowly got in the car remembering one last memory of Roy

Roy laughed with Dick and the rest of the titans his eyes catching on Jason. He froze staring at the kid. This young ass kid with the audacity of God himself giving smart ass remarks to Dick. He couldn't help himself but to laugh. He walked over to the kid after the other Titans had filed out after Dick and held his hand out "Hey kid. Name's Roy Harper, I go by Speedy. Casual asshole around here" He chuckled "You seem to be going for my title."

Jason rolled his eyes and scoffed "I'm not touching your hand. God only knows where it has been." He crossed his arms looking up to him "My name is Jason. Jason Todd, I'm the new Robin, and I Wasn't being an asshole. Dick just doesn't like me and I can't find a reason to like him."

Roy laughed and ruffled his hair as he walked to the door "Well don't be a stranger Jason Todd" He flashed a bright smile at him before he left.

Jason blushed brightly watching after him. How could one of Dick's friends be that awesome. He followed Roy quickly "Hey wait up!"

Roy stopped at his door looking at him "Yeah?"

Jason hesitated his brain rushing to catch words "Teach me how to shoot?" He motioned to the bow on Roy's back.

Roy looked to his bow then to Jason before he grinned "alright." He stepped away from his door and walked towards the elevator "But we should do it outside." He smiled "It's a nice day."

Jason followed him enamored with his smile and his laugh already.

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