A/N: This was originally for Calum, but I figured we can all just fit in who we prefer. It is obviously inspired from their song lol.
“I know that you don’t but if I ask you if you love me I hope you lie to me.”
Four months after we had ended things. Four long months trying to mend a broken heart. And with just one look, one glance at him, it’s as if I’m barely at the first stitch.
I woke up with a slight headache realizing only a sheet was protecting my naked body from the cold morning air. “Why did I come to this stupid party” I whispered to myself as I watched him passed out beside me. After a few drinks and a few glances from across the room throughout the night, I somehow ended up back at his place. While I don’t regret what had happened, I know I shouldn’t have come to this damn party. It was our mutual friend’s party I should have expected him to be there.
The second I saw him entering the house I should have ran the other way, Granted, I would have tripped over my high heels. Four months should have been enough right? To get over a mutual break up? To discard any feelings you had toward the love of your life? Ha.
While I was continuing this lecture in my head, he began to stir beside me. Shit. I didn’t expect him to wake up yet. Well there were a lot of things you didn’t expect to happen now did you? I thought I had enough time to grab my clothes and leave before he woke up. Panic rose up inside me as he began to blink repeatedly, eyes conforming to the morning light. I don’t think he’s realized I’m here yet.
Finally feeling a presence beside him he became tense and slowly turned towards me. As soon as he saw it was me he let out a long breath I didn’t even know he was holding. “Thank God it’s you.” he said while turning his body fully towards me. The white sheet falling down his torso towards his waist as he moved.
“Thanks?” I fidget, wrapping the sheet closer to my body. While early mornings together used to come natural to us, things were different now. He noticed how uncomfortable I looked and began to search for something around his room. He spotted something on the floor next to the bed, grabbed it and proceeded to hand it to me. I noticed it was the shirt he had on last night. I was hesitant to put it on but then I remembered I was completely fucking naked.
We continued to stare at each other trying to recall the actions that led up to this moment. All I recalled were a few drinks used to calm my nerves, a trip to the bathroom, bumping into him on the way to the bathroom, and a drunken make out session in the bathroom. And now I’m here, having a staring contest with my ex boyfriend. I lost. I couldn’t bare to look any longer into those eyes. Eyes which currently held as much confusion and panic as mine probably held. Where do we stand now? I was afraid to find out. We broke up for a reason.
As I glanced away from this intense stare off I began to glance around for my pieces of clothing which were laying across our room. His room. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Before I could get out of bed to grab my the dress I had worn, he grabbed my arm keeping me from creating distance between us.
“Stay, you don’t have to go.” he whispered, “I don’t want you do go.” Those eyes again. Those damn eyes. It took the little self control I had left not to crawl back closer to him. Just the thought of having his arms wrapped around me. As if nothing ever happened. But things did happen, remember that.
“I can’t.” My voice shakily betraying those words. “I need to go, sorry” I pulled away from his touch and continued grabbing my dress and heels. I begin to put my clothes back on and threw him back the shirt I wore momentarily.
“Wait.” I heard him mumble as I was making my way to the bedroom door. I paused, hand on the door knob. I couldn’t turn around and face him. I waited for him to continue but he sighed, realizing I wasn’t going to turn around. A long silence was brought upon us. Assuming he wasn’t going to say anything else, I began to open the door.
“Do you still love me?” he blurted out behind me. My body automatically turned to face him at that question. Tense like the atmosphere in the room. Another long silence. He wasn’t even looking at me as I turned to face him. He was glancing down, fiddling with his hands. I had no idea what to say.
After a moment too long of nothing being said, he looked up at me with a sad smile, “Just lie to me, please.” he said. I stared at him, trying to process what those words meant as he glanced back down at his hands.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t love you anymore” my voice cracked, emotions betraying the words I’m trying to convey. I turn around quickly, leaving the room not wanting to see his reaction, or wanting him to see the tears escaping, and quickly walked out of the house. The thing is I did lie to him. It’s just better this way.
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